Vaccines are a disgusting evil to society that cause mental and physical deformities. That’s why I’m the proud anti-vaxx mother of 5 beautiful children.

Edit 1: 4 beautiful children

Edit 2: 3 beautiful children

Edit 3: 2 beautiful children

A horse with a deformed head walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the oblong face?"

It may not be politically correct, but I wouldn't ever date someone who was born with deformed feet.

You could say I'm lack-toes intolerant.

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Three pregnant women knitting sweaters for their unborn kids.

Three pregnant women are knitting sweaters for their unborn kids. The first woman says “I hope my baby is a boy, I’m using blue wool”. The second woman says “I’m hoping for a girl, my sweater is pink”. The third woman says quietly “Weeeelllll, I hope my kid is deformed..I’ve fucked up the arms!”.

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Timmy and Sally were at a school dance.......

At the dance Timmy and Sally sat on opposites sides of the hall. Timmy with the boys and Sally with the girls.

They were both born with genetic disorders.

* Timmy was born without a left eye but he wore a wooden prosthetic in its place.
* Sally was born with a cleft palate, the corr...

A deformed cat walks into a bar

The bartender says:

"What can I do for you?"

To which the cat immediately replies:

"I'll have a gla-..."

"..."

"..."

"-ss of your finest milk please!"

And so the bartender places the glass of milk onto the bar table.

To which the cat, from all ...

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Records have revealed that Hitler had a "deformed micropenis"...

A little ironic, since he's universally remembered for being a huge dick.

Story with a moral

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out t...

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A woman gives birth to a baby boy with no eyelids.

The parents are, as expected, devastated by Their son’s deformity.
Fortunately, at the hospital is a world-renowned optical surgeon, who gives hope to the distraught couple. He can replace the infant’s eyelids with the skin that will be cut away when the newborn is circumcised, since it is as de...

A father, feeling sorry for his severely deformed son, decided to take him to the bar...

It was the son's 21st birthday, after all. His deformity was horrible, he was just a head. No arms, no torso, no legs.

At the bar, the father sat him on the table and ordered two beers. As the son finished his first beer ever in his life, a torso popped out. His father was overjoyed and s...

Did you hear about the deformed linebacker?

He had 4 sacks.

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I really hit it off with a girl until I discovered she had an unusual deformity

So I hit it off really well with a girl until I discovered she had an unusual deformity: Apparently, she only has one buttcheek. Well, I had to call the whole thing off there and then. I don't believe in doing anything half-assed.

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I knew a kid in grade school who was born with deformed eyelids...

...So they took the flesh from his circumcision to fix his deformity. For the rest of his life he was cock-eyed.

Two ladies are gardening...

One pulls out a HUGE carrot with a deformed, bulbous end on it and says, "That reminds me of my husband's!"

The other lady gasps and asks, "Oh my, is he that big?!"

"No, he's that dirty."

A man and his girlfriend are getting undressed together for the first time.

The man took off his shoes and socks revealing feet with missing and deformed toes.

"What happened to your feet?" his girlfriend asked.

"I had a childhood disease called Tolio " the man said.

"Don't you mean Polio?"

"No, Tolio, it only affects the toes."

Not wantin...

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A man is depressed because he was born with half an index finger...

Everyone made fun of him in school and called him Half Finger. Depressed and tired of all the taunting, he decides to commit suicide. He finds the tallest building in his city.

As he’s about to jump, he looks down at the street and sees a man with no arms vigorously dancing. He says to himsel...

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Hold him, he need some attention.

Herb decided to propose to Jill, but prior to her acceptance; Jill felt she had to confess to her man that she suffered from a condition that left her breasts at the maturity of a 12 year old.

Herb said that it was okay because he loved her so much. However, Herb felt this was also the tim...

A bus full of ugly people is driving along a cliff

The bus driver makes a mistake as he eats a burger causing the bus to suddenly fall from the cliff killing all passengers aboard

The group of deformed men and women are woken in front of the pearly gates greeted by St Peter himself

"you lot have had a hard and unfortunate life and as t...

Childhood Diseases

As the couple gets into bed for the first time the man tells the woman, “I've had some illnesses when I was young that has left me with some slight physical deformities, so please don't laugh.” He pulls down his trousers and his knees are severely deformed. He looks at the woman and says, “I had kne...

It was their wedding night. . .

And the inexperienced couple had never undressed in front of each other. As the new groom slipped off his shoes and socks, his bride couldn't help but notice how terribly deformed his feet were.

"My goodness, Dear, whatever happened to your feet"

"Well, my love, I never mentioned this...

A man is interviewing for a job at the DMV

A dude is interviewing for a job at the DMV.

Interviewer: i see in your form , under “Any physical deformities “ you have mentioned “partial genitalia” . What does that mean?

Dude: i got my nuts blown off in an accident.

Interviewer: ohh! I am sorry to hear about that however t...

Terrible diseases...

A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time.
The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child."
The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes."
He removes his pants and reveals defor...

Crushed...

Crush: A feeling of love and admiration for someone, often someone you know you cannot have a relationship with.

Crush: Deform, pulverize, or force inwards by compressing forcefully.

::-Very much same

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Engineering pickup lines

Engineering pickup lines:

Hey babe, what's your factor of safety?

Can I use my sigma to find your tau max?

What frequency does it take to make your O-me-ga

How big does your period need to be to reduce our frequency

How about you and I go have a couple moment
...

A string walks into a bar...

The tender goes 'Jackass, we don't serve strings here.'
The string leaves the bar and twists and pulls and deforms himself, ruffles his hair a bit and struts back in, incognito.
The tender goes 'Hey, aren't you that string I just kicked out?'
The string answers, 'Frayed knot.'

A couple on honeymoon in hotel room undressing. The groom removes his socks and the bride asks: "What's wrong with your feet, your toes look all mangled?"

Groom: "I had Tolio as a child."
Bride: "You mean Polio?"
Groom: "No Tolio, the disease only affected my toes."

The groom then removes his pants and the bride asks: "What is wrong with your knees, they are lumpy and deformed?"

Groom: "As a child I had Kneasles."
Bride: "You me...

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A bartender walks into a bar

goes behind the counter and does 12 hours of serving drinks to indifferent faces. They don't care about his life. He delays going home to his wife by flirting with a waitress, but he knows she's just being nice.

He goes home to a wife who hands him divorce papers, and his son at her side, no...

An elderly man is getting married to his trophy wife, who refused to sleep with him until they were married.

The night of the wedding the both start undressing at their hotel. When he took his socks off, she saw that his toes were all deformed and bent. She asked "what the hell is that?"
"Tolio" the man replies.
"Don't you mean polio?" asked the women.
"Nope, when it's in your toes its called ...

A man and his 3 daughters

This was one of my favorites from middle school:
So a man has 3 daughters and he is sitting alone in his room one night.
His oldest daughter comes in and asks, "Dad, why did you name me Rose?" He responds, "Well when you were born a rose petal fell on your forehead."
She leaves and the seco...

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The Pirate

A man walks into a bar and finds a pirate seated at the bar.

The man takes a seat next to the pirate and notes the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The man strikes up a conversation with the pirate and eventually works up the courage to ask him about his deformities.
...

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The Boss With No Ears

A successful businessman owns his own company. While he is quite accomplished, he has a very short temper, especially regarding his physical deformity - he was born with no ears.

He is holding interviews with potential new employees. The first interviewee has pretty good credentials, and his ...

Jack

A husband rushes into the emergency room from work to greet his wife who is giving birth to their first born. He helps all he can; he holds his wife's hand and breathes with her through the pain. The doctor claims to see the head. The husband runs around and watches as this bloody, mess of a human b...

George visits an isolated village

As he walks down the street he sees three children playing. He is inspired by their happiness, approaches them and asks for their names. "Sunflower", says the freckle-faced girl. "Sunflower?", asks the man, "Why would that be your name?" - "It is said that when I was born, a sunflower fell on my hea...

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A shy wood eye'd man.

A man takes a visit to the doctor to see what he can do about getting an artificial eye. He says to the doctor, "Doc I don't have much cash but can you give me an eye that looks as real as it gets for cheap?" The doctor responds, "I have a wood eye here for you and no one will be able to tell the di...

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