We should use Hillary Clinton's emails to build a wall

Because a lot of people can't seem to get over it.

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of th...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Trump's gonna build the wall out of...

Hillary's emails. Nobody can get over those fuckin' things apparently

The Testicular Cancer Clinic called me and said, “Did you get our email?” I said “No”.

They said, “Maybe you should check your junk.”

Due to all the scandals, the Trump administration has decided to stop using emails.

They’ll use alternative fax.

How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport

Re:LAX

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The targeted junk email I get seems to be aimed at the wrong guy..

They really need to update their database, they seem to all think I want to own a rolex, am desperately single enough to want a Russian Bride, have a really small penis, mounting debt, and should refinance my home.

Crazy right?

I don't own a home!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man wins an online contest but enters the wrong email address to access the code.

He realizes that his account is on yahoo instead of gmail and now someone else has received the code to access the $5000 prize. He drives to his office disheartened and asks his secretary if he should just send an email to the account requesting the person to forward the code. Then his frustration i...

Hillary's emails finally lead to an arrest.

Roger Stone was arrested for his communications with the Trump campaign regarding Wikileaks and Hillary Clinton’s emails.

A zen student asked his master: “Is it okay to use email?”

“Yes”, replied the master, “as long as you don't create any attachments.”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man wins an online lottery of $5000 but finds out her entered the wrong email address.

He comes home disappointed and tells his son to send an email kindly requesting him to transfer all the money to his account, since he is the rightful recipient of the cash prize. However, his panic attack kicks in as he realizes he probably won't accept their request, and he tells his son to just s...

I thought up a good band name last night. Hillary and the Emails.

Would be HYUUUGE in 48% of the US.

I just got an email with the subject “Just $50 to see Justin Bieber Live!”

I thought, “Why am I supposed to pay the ransom?”

Why can’t you email a photo to a Jedi?

Because attachments are forbidden

I've just uncovered damning evidence that Hillary Clinton knew about the 30,000 emails she deleted as well as what really happened in Benghazi

I'm sharing it because the American people deserve to know the tr

I got an email today from a housewife: Lovely lady, 35, bored and looking for excitement, So I gave her a present...

Job Applications.

The Lords email sent folder...

One day G-d was looking down at Earth and saw all the bad behavior that was going on ...

So He called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time ...

When he returned, he told G-d, 'Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not ...

...

My email account got hacked again.

That's the third time I've had to rename my cat.

How do you get your husband to stop looking at your emails

You rename it instructions

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Hillary's emails would make the perfect construction material for building the great Trump Wall...

Since no one can get the fuck over them.

If you get an email from me about tinned ham, delete it.

It's spam.

I got an email from a Hollywood celebrity with the subject line: “I piy the fool!”

I replied, “Hey you missed a t?”

There’s an email going around offering processed pork, gelatine and salt in a can.

If you get this email, don’t open it. It’s spam.

The Email

After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together.



...

Found this in an old email from my grandpa.

A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her
grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one
and goes over to the counter.

A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says,
"Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anythin...

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If you pay money to scammers who email you to say they have video of you masturbating to porn, it will be for one of two reasons:

Either they saw you coming, or they saw you coming.

Got an email from Google the other day...

"At Google Earth, we're so good we can read maps backwards"

I thought "that's just spam."

If we all email the constitution to each other

The NSA might finally read it

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Conference calls are like emails

So just send a FUCKING EMAIL

What is a dog's favorite email folder?

Scent messages!

All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

What did one unsent email say to the other?

Does it feel a little drafty in here to you?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I yelled at a friend because in her email she used 'peak' instead of 'peak', 'hear' instead of 'here' and other, similar mistakes.

I engaged in an ad homonym attack.

Wrong Email

A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of their hectic schedules, it was di...

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Girlfriends Email !!

Girlfriend's Email :

*thespacebuttonisbrokenonmylaptop.canyougivemeanalternative.*



Boyfriend's Reply
What does *ternative* mean?

God wrote an email....( kinda long )

So apparently god decided recently to check up on the earth and see how things were going. God summoned one of his angels. God told the angel to go down to earth and evaluate how humanity was doing. After several months the angel returns and reports that about 95% of humanity isn’t really following ...

Delete any emails that you get from Hormel Foods

They're most likely spam.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If you get an email saying "click this link to hear Nickelback's new album for free" DO NOT CLICK IT

It will take you directly to a site where you can hear Nickelback's new album for free.

Wrong email address

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note w...

I sent an email with the subject line "post" to the mods asking if this joke was new or not. The subject line of their response told me all I needed to know...

Re:post

Just received an email from a wealthy Nigerian Prince.

He told me that he doesn’t have any fortune to share with me at the moment but he would appreciate if I could let him know before May 25th if I wish to continue receiving emails.

What does the Trump administration use instead of emails?

Alternative fax.

Today it became clear to me that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on the keyboard.

This is why I'll never be ending an email with 'Regards' ever again.

Why isn’t the mail called femail?

Because if it were femail, it would never come.

My girlfriend sent me this email today: "Helpmyspacebarisbrokencanyougivemeanalternative?"

The hell's a ternative?

If I had a pound for every email I got about data protection...

Well that's private

Got an email from boredhousewife423 saying she was looking for some action

I sent her my laundry. That'll give her something to do

The district manager sent an email to the general manager.

It said "I'd like you to promote that one pretty girl with the good personality, I can't remember her name. I was very impressed by her work ethic. She seemed humble but extremely capable."

The general manager was confused as to which girl the district manager meant because there were two gir...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker...

So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus

Why isn't anyone falling for my new Vietnamese prince email scam?

Maybe I didn't offer enough dong?

Nowadays with internet in some prisons..

..How do they prevent the emails from having attached files?

I should never have given my real email address to Rolex.

Now I'm forever placed on some kind of watch list.

This morning, I received an email notifying me that my order has shipped!

Just think, in one week I'll be a married man.

A young lady from my office just sent me an email

saying "ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"

Oh boy am I excited, but what does "ternative" mean?

I subscribed to a weekly email about the latest watches...

I now know that’s I’m on somekind of watch list

I got an email from my girlfriend. It said, "Can you send me a photograph of my best body part?"

So I emailed her back.

PSA: IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING, "You've won two free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!" DO NOT OPEN IT.

It contains two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My fuck buddy sent me an email

No attachments

Hillary Clinton logs onto her email server

[deleted]

What does Hillary's emails and a racist post have in common?

[removed]

What is Forest Gump's email password?

"1Forest1"

There's an email going around that claims to include a nude photo of Hillary Clinton

Don't open it. It contains a nude photo of Hillary Clinton.

Hey, Magic 8-Ball. Why can't I check my work email?

"Outlook not so good."

A classic joke I heard from my friend about Hillary Clinton's emails

[deleted]

Probably old, but I got it in email and it made me chuckle.

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cursed her heavily. "Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?""
The girl, crying, replied, '...

A nuclear scientist sent me a dodgy email

I've heard about this fission scam

What's the most embarrassing part about Hillary Clinton's emails?

The Nigerian Prince actually came through with the money transfer.

Damn girl, are you Hilary Clinton's email server?

Damn girl, are you Hilary Clinton's email server?
.
Because your incredibly insecure
.
Hahaha

I was reading my emails...

The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;

"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I keep getting emails about penis enlargement.

The ones from my wife are starting to get personal, but it's the ones from my mother that really hurt.

Breaking News: Donald Trump and his staff will be replacing the email system at the White House

They'll be using alternative fax instead

Can't rely on emails!

A man goes away on business. He emails his wife from the road and says he’ll be home that night because the trip wrapped up earlier than expected. When he gets home, he walks into the bedroom to find his wife in bed with another man. Without a word, the husband leaves the room and goes down to the l...

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on the computer...

They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, "Cool it! I am going to set up a test that will run two hours, and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did...

Whenever I email Stevie Wonder

I use the BCC field.

Donald Trump Jr. Just released a second statement on his email correspondence

[removed]

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A bit dated, but it gave me a chuckle nonetheless. (Blatantly stolen from a grandma email.)

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If...

How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

I just received an email titled $50 TO SEE JUSTIN BIEBER LIVE

I'm really the wrong person to email for these kind of ransoms.

Email inventor dies aged 74

I sent my re:re:re:re:re:gards

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There's an email going around

offering processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can. If you get this email, do not open it.

It's spam.



Crap looks like /r/jokes is going to delete my joke

"These are jokes. Some of them are old, and as such reflect the tone of the times. Some of them are new, and just as...

What did Hillary Clinton say when they took down her private email server?

R.I.P. My Inbox