Do you want to know why the republicans won't impeach Trump?

Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.

Why won't republicans impeach Trump?

Because they insist on carrying babies to full term.

OP is here, I heard this from a friend at work:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/search?q=Because%20they%20insist%20on%20carrying%20babies%20to%20full%20term.&restrict\_sr=1&type=link](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/search?q=B...

Is it "Happy Impeachment" or "Merry Impeachment"?

I don't want to offend anyone.



Treason's Greetings and Impeach Navidad!

Why is Donald Trump happy about the impeachment result?

Because it’s the first time he’s gotten the most votes.

The impeachment of Trump will be a stain on his legacy

Whereas the impeachment of Clinton was the legacy of his stain.

TeamTrees reached their goal of 20,000,000 trees planted on the same day Trump got impeached.

Now millions of people can breathe easier.

Donald J. Trump has been impeached

Finally, something he's earned

I was shocked when the Republicans wouldn’t vote to convict Trump on his second impeachment.

The first time sure, they always insist a baby is carried to full term.

The second one however, shocking as they actually took care of the baby afterwards.

What do you call Trump getting impeached twice?

Unpresidented

Trump is about to become the only President to be impeached twice

He's desperate to prove that anything a Democrat can do, he can do better and in half the time.

Trump has more impeachments than he does social media accounts.

This joke will never get old, ever.

If Trump wanted to avoid impeachment...

...he should’ve falsely claimed there were WMDs in Iraq

What’s the difference between Trump and Mario?

Trump was impeached, Mario was in Peach

What happened to the government when the president was impeached for the first time ever?

They found themselves in an unpresidented situation.

Why is the word "impeach" so popular with Donald Trump's presidency?

Lack of a better term.

Question from non American. Why did you need to impeach Trump?

I mean he already is orange... is he not?

The Democrats are trying to impeach Trump!

That's so unusual, most people don't even know what it means.
It's totally unpresidented.

After the losing party refuses to accept election results, a country is teetering on the edge of a civil war.

Armed insurgents invade the capitol, threaten violence and are ultimately overpowered. But intelligence shows that they may be planning another attack.

The country’s leaders ask for advice in how to handle the violence.

The winning party yells “Impeach the outgoing president during...

Trump hates the word impeach because he has said many times before

Imorange

In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...

Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).



Both were denied.

This is actually true.

Impeach.

Hi Peach, I'm Dad.

What is the difference between a Peach and a Orange?

You can't imorange a Peach but you can impeach an Orange.

Despite what his detractors say, Donald Trump accomplished what no other U.S. President was able to do.

He got himself impeached. TWICE.

I don’t understand why everyone is getting so excited about Trump’s impeachment

It’s not like it’s unpresidented

Why aren't all the Trump supporters out having a rally against his impeachment?

Their white sheets aren't clean from the last rally yet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump found out about impeachment tonight coming after him.

Donald Trump: "Was she the stripper from Georgia? Write her a check."

People are outside the White House protesting, screaming IMPEACH IMPEACH IMPEACH!

Trump grabs his Switch, runs outside and yells I’M BOWSER, I’M BOWSER!

2/3 of all impeached presidents were done so for the same reason

for embarrassing Hillary Clinton

Why will Congress never impeach Hillary Clinton?

Because she didn't win the election.

An Impeachment hearing walks into a bar..........

But with no witnesses or evidence we don't know what was ordered, or what the bartender said, so.....no punchline.

US Presidents have been impeached before, but Trump may be the first to be forcefully removed from office.

To remove him would be unpresidented.

A country going through an impeachment...

May be unpresidented.

What's Donald Trump's favourite drink?

impeached ice tea

Why was Abraham Lincoln never impeached?

Because he is in-a-cent.

What will the American people say to President Trump if he gets impeached?

“You’re fired!”

New president of a country is handed 3 envelopes by the previous leader.

President of a country is handed 3 numbered envelopes by the previous leader. Previous leader says "If you screw anything up, then open one of the envelopes and it will tell you what to do."

Eventually, over time, the president screws some things up. Everyone gets mad at him and threatens t...

Alan Dershowitz privately counselled Senate Republicans on how to handle the articles of impeachment for Donald Trump

He said “If you’re not Mitt, you must acquit.”

I have to say after watching the impeachment voting...

This has to be the most interesting season of the apprentice yet!

President Trump just compared impeachment to being lynched.

If you are expecting an apology he will leave you hanging.

In honor of Trump's last night as president, tonight I'll be making...

Lame Duck A L'Orange, and for dessert, ImPEACHment Cobbler.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You guys hear that Trump’s not going to participate in his impeachment inquiry?

I heard he got phone spurs.


(Credit to Colbert)

Trump: I got impeached just for humiliating Hillary

Bill Clinton: #metoo

Trump gets Impeached

Me: The Senate will decide your fate.
*ignites lightsaber*

Trump has been Impeached

Finally, I'm sick of him looking like an orange

I can see why evangelicals have backed Trump even through impeachment.

All three of his marriages have lasted longer then his presidency.

How much does presidential impeachment insurance cost?

Just one Pence

“You were able to escape the draft, Become President and now you’re trying to avoid impeachment. How?”

“I ran”

What's the nightmare of a president who is allergic to stone fruit?

Impeachment

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If there is one thing that democrats and republicans can agree on during this impeachment hearing...

...it's that "quid pro quo" is really fucking fun to say!

I know the pandemic is causing people to struggle financially, but honestly, I'm making a fortune.

I rent out bookcases to be installed behind everyone doing a TV interview about either Covid or the Impeachment process.

Hey Homer, did you hear about the Impeachment?

Mmmmm peach mint (drool noises)

***warning - dad joke***

I was impeached from my position as President on the board of my local zoo, due to an incident that occurred with the bovine exhibit.

Believe who you want, but I say it was fake gnus.

What do trump and bowser have in common?

They’re both impeach.

BAD NEWS

President Trump awakens one Winter morning to discover someone has peed “Impeach Trump” in the snow. He calls the Secret Service to investigate.

When they return, they tell the President that they have bad news and even worse news. The bad news is that it’s Vice President Pence’s urine. This ...

If Donald Trump becomes president and keeps up his shenanigans, he could be the first president to be impeached.

It would be an un-presidented event in American politics.

Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached.

You could say it was unpresidented.

What did Paul Manafort say after hearing Trump might get impeached?

I beg your pardon?

Trump Hired Bill Clinton's Impeachment lawyer!

Just made me laugh more than many jokes i found here

There have been two presidential impeachments in the history of the United States...

One involved a Johnson from the south and some violations relating to a staff member and the other was the 1868 impeachment of Andrew Johnson.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.

Find yourself a woman who holds you as tight as Nancy Pelosi holds her impeachment articles

What do you eat after a presidential christmas dinner?

Impeach cobbler

Heights of grandiose delusions!

Two criminals (fighting to save their careers) - one dumb and impeached, another indicted - revealing a Middle East “Peace” plan!!

Dear God,

If you want us to impeach Trump, just give us a sign. Like blot out the sun. Anytime in the next week.

Thanks,

America.

Donny is getting worried about his future as President.

He decides to call the world leaders he most admires. He makes a conference call to Putin, Kim Jong-un,and Rodrigo Duterte.

"Guys, next to me, you are the greatest leaders in the world. What can I do to stop from getting impeached?"

There is a lot of talking between them and then Vlad ...

Joke Archeology -- who's heard an older version of this often recycled joke?

I heard this one the first time back in the early 70's.

Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger were giving a young hippie hitchhiker a ride home in Air Force One from the Camp David Area, they started having engine trouble, unfortunately there were only four parachutes and the drafted pilots ju...

So this farmer named Juan wants to run for city council.

He notices his small town is going downhill and wants to make a difference. He asks his wife what his slogan should be and she says: "Well you don't beat me, the kids, or your cow, so use that."

So Juan runs for city council using the slogan: "I don't beat my wife, I don't beat my kids, I don...

A guy is driving past the White House....

...and he sees that the road is blocked, but they are letting cars through one at a time. There are crowds on the sidewalk, shouting, but he can't hear what's being said.

Finally he gets to the roadblock, and rolls down his window. "What's going on?" he asks.

"Donald Trump has had ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An idiot walks into a bar

and overhears the patrons in an excited hoo-hah over which among them was the luckiest.

One among them quieted all to say, "I met a beautiful woman last night! Within hours, I took her back to my home and we did the nasty like old chums!"

The crowd applauded and agreed he was luck...

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