This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A shepherd rescues a beautiful woman from falling off a cliff in far away mountains.

With much gratitude, she says, "Wow, you saved my life so bravely and selflessly. Just ask, and I'd do anything for you."

The shepherd ask slyly, "Anything?"

"Anything, my dear", she replies seductively.

The shepherd points to a nearby sheep and goes, "Can ya' hold this bitches'...

I just got back from the funeral of my 82 year old neighbour who died after falling off his roof when fixing his TV antenna.

The funeral was sad, but the reception was excellent.

What did Marcus Aurelius say after narrowly saving his bust from falling off its shelf?

That's a relief.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between 100,000 political jokes and a kid falling off a bike.

I still laugh every time I see a kid fall off a bike....
(For real this shit just ain't funny anymore fellas.)

What's the difference between a person falling off 10th floor and 1st floor of a building?

The person falling of the 10th floor would sound like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" *THUD*

The person falling of the 1st floor would sound like *THUD* "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

A man was driving on the highway when suddenly he had to swerve to avoid a box falling off the truck front of him.

Seconds later, a police officer pulled him over for reckless driving. As the officer was writing the ticket, the driver noticed that the box he'd avoided had been full of nails and tacks.

"I had to swerve or I'd have run over those and blown my tires!" he protested.

"Okay," replied t...

A comment following the video of two different camera views of the guy falling off that drone motorcycle thing reminded me of this oldie but goodie: a guy walks into a bar....

....sits down, orders a beer, and is watching the 5 o’clock news: footage of a guy about to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Bartender says “I bet you $100 he does it.” Guy takes the bet, and not long after has to pay up...

A few minutes later, bartender comes back. “I’m sorry man, I can’t t...

What do you call a mean criminal falling off a cliff?

A condescending con descending

I keep falling off my bike.

It's a vicious cycle.

What do you call an Irish dwarf whose limbs keep falling off?

A Leper-chaun.

A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes.

He is obviously drunk.


So the bartender says to another man in the bar, "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home."


The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times.


They drive along and the drunk points out his ...

A man in a bar keeps falling off of his barstool

From afar, the bartender and another gentleman watch as the man keeps falling, getting up, falling, getting back up.

The bartender tells the gentleman, "Why don't you be a Good Samaritan and take the guy home?" The gentleman agrees.

He goes to pick up and carry the man. The man keeps ...

The wheels on patrol car constantly end up falling off before I even make it back to the station. The boss asks if I’m working too hard

I said I’m working tirelessly.

the numbers on the front of my house keep falling off...

Its definitely a problem that needs to be addressed.

A young boy died today from falling off a rooftop after doing LSD...

His parents said he had a bad trip.

Someone told me that I can't survive falling off a 1,000 feet building.

Not with that altitude.

What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff?

Baa-Dum-Sss

What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the empire state building?

Nothing if you're a gorilla.

What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off?

One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con.

Falling off Bed

A lunatic falls off his bed. He quickly gets up. 10 minutes later, he falls again. He thinks to himself "Good thing I got up 10 minutes ago, or I might have fallen on myself"

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