Slipping Jokes - 14 Hilarious Slipping Jokes

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of coma...

...for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?

You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got f...

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If you feel like life is slipping through your fingers

Just stop masturbating.

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I apologised to my girlfriend during sex for slipping it in the wrong hole

But of course she couldn't hear me with my dick in her ear.

A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home.

As they are undressing for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants.

"Here, try these on," he says.

"What? Why?" she says.

"Just put them on," he insists.

"They're way too big," she says. "I can't wear those."

"That's right," he says. "I wear the pants in this ma...

Why did the yellow dragon keep slipping?

Banana for scale.

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A guy walks with two bags in his hands. One of them is torn and 20$ bills are slipping out.

Someone stops him and ask:
- Why is there so much money in your bag?
- When there is a sport game in town, I hide in the bushes nearby and when someone goes to take a piss, I say “Give me 20$ or I cut it off!”
- Ok, and what’s in the other bag?
- Well, not everyone pays…

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An woman was taking a shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped over, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband Dave. "Dave! Dave!” she yelled. Dave came running in. "Dave, I've fuckin’ suctioned myself to the floor" she said. "Holy shit!" he said and tried to pull her up."You're just too heavy girl. I'll go across the road and get Steve"

They came back and they both trie...

This quarantine has been going on so long, my relationship with the gym has been slipping.

I've had to start calling it the James again.

I think my mom is slipping me drugs.

I know, that's a hard pill to swallow.

TIFU by slipping in the shower and breaking my arm

At first I tried to laugh it off but soon realised that this wasn’t humerus

What do you call the period of time between slipping on a banana and landing on your ass?

A bananosecond.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.

I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.

I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answ...

How long does it take for someone to hit the ground after slipping on a banana peel?

1 bananosecond.

What did the cop say to the parents that were slipping their children Benadryl to make them sleep?

You’re under arrest for kid napping.

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