This quarantine has been going on so long, my relationship with the gym has been slipping.

I've had to start calling it the James again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An woman was taking a shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped over, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband Dave. "Dave! Dave!” she yelled. Dave came running in. "Dave, I've fuckin’ suctioned myself to the floor" she said. "Holy shit!" he said and tried to pull her up."You're just too heavy girl. I'll go across the road and get Steve"

They came back and they both trie...

A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home.

As they are undressing for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants.

"Here, try these on," he says.

"What? Why?" she says.

"Just put them on," he insists.

"They're way too big," she says. "I can't wear those."

"That's right," he says. "I wear the pants in this ma...

What do you call the period of time between slipping on a banana and landing on your ass?

A bananosecond.

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, 'You know what? 'You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were b...

The tale of the blond horse back rider.

A young blonde woman decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into action.

As it gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was 18

I was 18 or so and I went out to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was inexperienced. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to put it on. I said 'No, this is my first time'. Next thing i knew, she open...

I had to give up my tap-dancing career.....

I kept slipping and landing in the sink.

How long does it take for you to hit the ground after slipping on a banana peel?

One banano-second.

I think my mom is slipping me drugs.

I know, that's a hard pill to swallow.

What did the cop say to the parents that were slipping their children Benadryl to make them sleep?

You’re under arrest for kid napping.

TIFU by slipping in the shower and breaking my arm

At first I tried to laugh it off but soon realised that this wasn’t humerus

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