UPJOKE
changetradebarterswitchswaptransactionsubstitutereplaceswopinterchangesubstitutioncommercetransferredeemmarket

Exchanging Jokes

A cop just stopped me for jaywalking and then tasered me after exchanging a few words...

Police: Turn around.

Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming round...

Police: TURN AROUND!!

Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!

Asian lady exchanging money in front of me in the queue...

She says '"Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat poun of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

The mothers of two IS fighters were exchanging kids photos..

One mother said, this is my son as a baby, and this is him growing up, him as a teenager and this is him last year as a man, just before he gave himself up for jihadi.

The other mother says, you know- they blow up so quick.

What do Canadians say when exchanging gifts?

Just giver

Two electrons were following quantum physics principles, as usual, while exchanging virtual protons to conduct an electric current

One electron said to the other, "This quantum trading stuff sounds like imaginary nonsense; if I can carry meaningful information faster than the speed of light, then I will."

The remaining electron watched his former partner depart into the nether, sighed, then said to his collar microphone,...

What's the preferred method of exchanging money in the Vatican?

Papal

Some Roman soldiers are sitting in a bar, exchanging stories

One of the soldiers tell the others:
"I had the easiest shift the other night, just had to make sure this dead guy didn't crawl out of his tomb- slept through the whole thing."
As the soldier finishes, Jesus walks into the bar.
"April fool's"

Do you guys like jokes about the exchanging of bodily fluids for doggy biscuits?

Well, urine for a treat!

So I was at the bar the other night exchanging pleasantries with an attractive woman.

She said she would like to read my palm... Okay!

She takes my hand and asks... "Do you come here often?"

The Clintons snuck out of Secret Service and spent a weekend driving around like in the good ol' days

They stop at a gas station and the owner, it turns out, is Hillary's high school boyfriend. After exchanging pleasantries they drive away and Bill says "See, if you'd married him, you'd be married to a gas station owner".

Hillary responds "No, Bill, if I'd married him, he'd become the Preside...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde and a brunette are exchanging wild stories...

Brunette: "have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Blonde: *ponders for a moment* "No but I've been swung around by the tits before!"

So a guy was making counterfeit money and accidently prints $21 bills.

He decides he could go to a small town gas station where the cashier isn't too bright and see about exchanging them for real cash. He gets there and asks the cashier for his change and the cashier responds "Not a problem. Do you want 7 - $3 bills or 3 - $7 bills?"

The Secret Deal

An original of mine. Excuse the grammar.

There once was a clan of hunter-gatherers dedicated to being self sufficient. They would ONLY ever hunt and gather. Absolutely no trading or sales of any kind was allowed in this clan. Being self sufficient was religion to them, and they hated the idea...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.