Two electrons were following quantum physics principles, as usual, while exchanging virtual protons to conduct an electric current

One electron said to the other, "This quantum trading stuff sounds like imaginary nonsense; if I can carry meaningful information faster than the speed of light, then I will."

The remaining electron watched his former partner depart into the nether, sighed, then said to his collar microphone,...

A cop just stopped me for jaywalking and then tasered me after exchanging a few words...

Police: Turn around.

Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming round...

Police: TURN AROUND!!

Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!

Asian lady exchanging money in front of me in the queue...

She says '"Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat poun of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

The mothers of two IS fighters were exchanging kids photos..

One mother said, this is my son as a baby, and this is him growing up, him as a teenager and this is him last year as a man, just before he gave himself up for jihadi.

The other mother says, you know- they blow up so quick.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Harley & The dishes (NSFW)

A guy named Joe heads into his local Harley Davidson dealership with a fistfull of dollars and starts looking for his dream motorbike. The dealer looks at Joe's choice and states that while Joe's choice in motorcycle was respectable, the older style Harleys not only held their value better, but in m...

What do Canadians say when exchanging gifts?

Just giver

Do you guys like jokes about the exchanging of bodily fluids for doggy biscuits?

Well, urine for a treat!

What's the preferred method of exchanging money in the Vatican?

Papal

So I was at the bar the other night exchanging pleasantries with an attractive woman.

She said she would like to read my palm... Okay!

She takes my hand and asks... "Do you come here often?"

Some Roman soldiers are sitting in a bar, exchanging stories

One of the soldiers tell the others:
"I had the easiest shift the other night, just had to make sure this dead guy didn't crawl out of his tomb- slept through the whole thing."
As the soldier finishes, Jesus walks into the bar.
"April fool's"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The incredible trainer

It was a busy day at the bar. A lot of costumers were enjoying their breakfast. Until the door slammed open.
A shady trench coat with an almost as shady wearer appeared in the doorframe, a big bulge in both pockets. He approached the counter, as silent as the entire bar, exchanging glares with ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman in court...

the judge says "I'm in a good mood today and i'm a dog lover as you well know, now if you can sing me a song about a dog i'll let you off, but if you can't then you're going away for a very long time" Englishman went first "How much is that doggy in the window, the one with the waggly tail..." "Case...

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