A Chinese guy in the U.S. goes to exchange his currency.

He exchanges C¥10,000 and gets US$1,500.

The next day, he exchanges another C¥10,000, but gets only US$1,499. He asks why.

The exchange clerk says, “Fluctuations.”

The Chinese guy is shocked for a moment, and yells back, “Fluctuamelicans!”

I believe that it is time for all the world's countries to come together and create one universal currency

I mean it's just common cents

You see each country has its own currency

In the US they have the dollar

In the UK they have the pound

In the EU they have the euro

In Australia they have toilet paper

What currency do they use in outerspace?

Starbucks

I was out on the ocean the other day and these guys boarded my vessel and stole all of the currency I’d saved on a computer game I was playing.

They were Simoleon pirates.

What is the currency of the Shire?

Hob-bitcoin!

What's a corpse's favorite currency?

Cryptocurrency

What currency do processes use to bribe the processor?

They use cache

What would you do if all US currency turned in to cheese?

Personally I'd just start using a swiss bank

What currency do Jewish ogres use?

Shrekels.

I read that Brazil wants do dollarize its currency and i thought...

*That's not real*

This new digital currency is bitc*in!

Sorry. Bitcoin. It’s called bitcoin

What do you call the new Iraqi currency?

An after Dinar mint.

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What did the US Treasury Secretary Say to the Chinese Central Banker After the Currency Devalued?

What the fuck are Yuan?

So DC Comics currency

Superman’s weakness is probably a *krypto* currency

Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.

a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.

a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.

the guy said to me in an annoyed voice...

There's this amazing joke about Saudi Arabia's currency, but I forgot where I heard it

Then I remembered that I found the Riyal joke in the comments

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A Japanese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City...

He entered the store with 2000 yen and walked out with $72.

The following week, he walked in with another 2000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.

The teller said, "Fluctuations."

The Japanese man stormed out, a...

What is Forrest Gump’s favorite part of US currency?

The pen-nay

What is the accepted currency in Australia?

Outbucks.

This is the story of Easter

While travelling throughout Jerusalem, President Trump suddenly gets a heart attack and subsequently dies. De undertaker tells the american diplomats and bodyguards that accompanied him this: "You could have him sent home for $50000 or you could bury him here in the holy land, after currency exchang...

The UK tested switching to the dollar...

Many years ago, England was considering switching the Pound over to the dollar. As a test run to see how it would fare, they made a run of dollar coins that they distributed to the public.

Not wanting to get them confused with the one pound coins, they decided they would change the Queen's fa...

US currency types were having a contest to see who could accrue the most of another country’s currency

Nickels managed to stack up a lot of Euros and beat Quarters who only managed to pile up a few. Dimes did alright for themselves too but none of them bragged about how well they were doing because they knew that their smallest denomination friends were volatile and when confronted with bragging when...

The Man In Black was talking to an Alien in a coffee shop.

He asks, "what kind of currency does Space use?"
The Alien points to the cup of coffee and said, "Starbucks"

What is chicken used as currency called?

Legal tender

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Currency Fluctuations

An Asian man comes to the US to do business and converts 110 million Yen into 1 million dollars. On his next trip, he returns to the bank to do the same, but only receives $990,000 in return.

He asks the teller, "Why did I receive less this time?"

The teller responds with a shrug, "...

Why didn't George Washington want his portrait on US currency?

Because he didn't want to be drawn and "quartered."

What do you call Donald Trump’s form of currency?

Trump change

TIL that the Hindi word for "penny" is derived from the word for bread, as in the ancient Indus valley, small and dense pieces of bread were used as currency

Sounds like a bunch of naan-cents to me

The police get a call about a house two blocks away when on the night shift...

The caller doesn't say much but she says she often sees lots of money coming and going from the house and hears machines running all night and day.

The police put together a swat team just in case things go sideways.

They bust down the door to the house and find row upon row of washin...

What's the one currency superman can't hold?

Kryptocurrency.

I think that we should officially change our currency to balloons.

You could much more easily control inflation.

An Iranian goes to exchange some currency

He asks the teller what the current rate is for the US Dollar.

"Now, or... now?"

If I Had a [currency] For Every [action],

I would do more of [action].

If karma was a currency, Reddit would be a capitalist society

But I've figured out how to make reddit into a communist society.

They just need to seize the memes of production.

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A Japanese man goes to a currency exchange in New York

He gives the girl at the counter 10000 yen and she gives him $100.
The next day he goes back into the exchange and goes up to the same girl at the counter. He again gives her 10000 yen and this time she gives him $90.
He asks “Why different?”
She replies “Fluctuations.”
He suddenly get...

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NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:

**NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:**

Please be advised that anyone planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a full Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs. This assessment must also consider wheth...

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad...

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?

Why doesn't superman fight cyber crime?

Because he's scared of krypto currency.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When/If Scotland becomes independent, what will the national currency be called?

Doesn't matter, you won't be able to pry it out of the cheap bastards' hands anyway.

I heard Venezuelan currency has inflated so much they are weighing it instead of counting it.

Looks like they finally transitioned from bolivars to pounds.

In fallout, why are caps used as currency?

Because america is a CAPitalist country.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three couples are waiting to enter the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter tells them, "I can tell how a man lived his life based upon the name of his wife. First couple, please step forward."

So, the first couple steps forward and St. Peter asks the guy, "What is your wife's name?" The guy says, "Her name is Penny."

St. Peter gives a disapproving...

This Chinese chap goes into a bank to change some currency. After receiving his Money he asks, "How come I came in here with same amount of Money as yesterday but today I get less Yuans in return?"

The banker says, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese guy replies, "Fluck you Blitish too."

Why did the Irish call their currency the "Punt" ?

Because it rhymes with Bank Manager

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One week, a Chinese guy exchanged some currency....

and came back next week to do it again, only to find that the rate had increased.

He asked the nearby white clerk, "Hey! You! Why it more expensive now?"

The clerk replied, "Oh. Fluctuations."

And the Chinese man said, "Well, fuck you white guy!"

(Disclaimer: I'm Chinese ...

Breaking News

All the world's currency is now air. We store it in small balloons.

Prices seem to be quite inflated.

Zimbabwe's currency is so devalued...

That rapper "50 cent" is known as "40 billion dollar"

An American guy goes to a currency conversion shop...

...and notices the changing rates of the US dollar. He says to the clerk, "Wow...fluctuations..." The clerk angrily replies, "HEY! FLUCK YOU WHITE GUYS TOO!"

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An Japanese man walks into a bank...

... and goes up to the teller. Even though he is new to speaking English, he says, "I wish to exchange 400 of my currency for US dollars. The teller proceeds to do so and they politely part ways. A few days pass and the Japanese man again walks into the bank, again to exchange the same amount curren...

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A joke from India

Translated from Hindi:

There is a queue outside the bank where people are waiting to get in and exchange currency. One chap keeps cutting the queue and goes to the front. The rest of the people keep forcing him back.

This goes on 5-6 times. The guy finally gets pissed and says

'...

There's an Italian town where pasta is a currency

A penne for their thoughts.

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Currency caper

A Japanese man visits Australia.

On the way in he converts his 4000 yen to $100.

A couple of weeks later, he is returning home and converts his last $100, but this time only receives 2000 yen.

"what's up with this?", he enquires, "why is the conversion rate half what it was wh...

How do vampires pay for things?

Crypt-currency.

I used to be a cashier at a gas station on the Canadian border.

I would always ask what currency people would be paying with, but I stopped after a woman screamed at me for assuming her tender.

Exchange rate

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get tw...

What do you call 25 Mike Pence clones in a room with Donald Trump?

... Quarter pounder with cheese.

(Think British currency here)

If i had a dollar for every time i had an existential crisis...

it wouldn't matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless

Jewish Man calls Newspaper office to print death news of his Grandpa

Clerk: $50 per word

Jewish Man: Grandpa Dead

Clerk: Sorry Sir, Minimum 5 words required ...

Jewish Man: "Grandpa Dead, Wheelchair for Sale!”

*Edit to western currency*

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So they say a Harriet Tubman's face is going on the $20 bill.

Excellent, I can't wait to start using black people as currency again.

What do you call a tomb full of money?

A crypt o' currency.

I am buying my coffin from a company located in Ireland.

I wonder if they accept crypt o'currency?

What do you say about a man who spent all his savings excavating a tomb full of fake money?

He invested in the wrong crypt o' currency.

How did Superman get rich in the 2010s?

By investing in Krypto-currency.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Im excited to have Tubman on the twenty

So we can use black people as currency again

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An 18 year old kid spends his first day in prison.. [NSFW]

He ends up getting a bunk mate whose an older guy, and been inside for while. This older guy has access to lots of goodies such as oreos and cup of noodles etc.. In prison that is basically its own form of currency. The old man can tell the kid is scared and tells him
"I'll tell you what kid I'l...

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I'm excited about a black person being on the $20 bill.

I always wanted to use black people as currency.

Germany and the Czech Republic have left the EU to form their own fully integrated economy.

Their currency is called the ✓

Did you hear of the American who robbed a bank in Latvia?

Turns out potatoes aren't a valid currency in the US.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A German SS Officer back in 1940 walked into a bar and ordered a drink...

And the bartender gave him the requested drink after accepting the required currency because Nazi Germany does not have a sense of humor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump's statement regarding China

Trump: "In little over a week when I take office, China will fall into a slump. Factories will shut down, shops will close, stock markets will not trade, and government will grind to a halt.The wealthy will flee overseas with their families, citizens desperately trade their currency for food, doors ...

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