A Chinese guy in the U.S. goes to exchange his currency.

He exchanges C¥10,000 and gets US$1,500.

The next day, he exchanges another C¥10,000, but gets only US$1,499. He asks why.

The exchange clerk says, “Fluctuations.”

The Chinese guy is shocked for a moment, and yells back, “Fluctuamelicans!”

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An Asian walks into a currency exchange and get $100 back for his exchange

Next day he goes there again and for the same amount of money he receives $94 this time.

He asks the teller "why $6 less today compared to yesterday"

The teller say "fluctuations"

The Asian man get up angrily and storms out slamming the door, turns around and shouts "fluc you Am...

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An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72.

The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.

The teller said "Fluctuations."

The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fuck you America...

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each...

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of ...

Chuck Norris mines crypto currency

by hand.

Superman lost all of his money on a digital currency scheme

It was his cryptonite.

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The porn industry introduces its own virtual currency.

Clitcoin.

We should all agree on a global currency

In my opinion, dollars make the most cents

What kind of currency do astronauts use?

Starbucks

The metal strip in paper currency is sensitive to microwave and radio waves.

Because it apparently tends to burn a hole in the pocket.

I believe that it is time for all the world's countries to come together and create one universal currency

I mean it's just common cents

What would Jeff Bezos’ currency be called?

Slavery.

Did anyone hear about that country who started using balloons as currency?

They ended up with a massive inflation problem.

I had to throw out all of my danish currency

I didn't wanna catch the Kronervirus

I have a job at the mint making paper currency.

That’s right, my job isn’t making cents.

Yesterday I tucked some receipts from Bitcoin into an exotic dancer's panties.

My first use of stripto currency.

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad...

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?

Every single currency in this world is just an illusion, a social construct

but Brazil's real.

You see each country has its own currency

In the US they have the dollar

In the UK they have the pound

In the EU they have the euro

In Australia they have toilet paper

Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.

a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.

a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.

the guy said to me in an annoyed voice...

What would you do if all US currency turned in to cheese?

Personally I'd just start using a swiss bank

Growing up as a gamer I was lead to believe the end times currency would be bullets or bottle caps.

Turns out its hand sanitizer and toilet paper.

What currency do processes use to bribe the processor?

They use cache

What's a corpse's favorite currency?

Cryptocurrency

What currency do you use to buy a cow?

Moo-ney

What's the name of the Thai superhero that fights crime while dressed as currency?

Bahtman.

Or is it The Bahtman?

What is Forrest Gump’s favorite part of US currency?

The pen-nay

What currency do Jewish ogres use?

Shrekels.

So DC Comics currency

Superman’s weakness is probably a *krypto* currency

This new digital currency is bitc*in!

Sorry. Bitcoin. It’s called bitcoin

There's this amazing joke about Saudi Arabia's currency, but I forgot where I heard it

Then I remembered that I found the Riyal joke in the comments

A teacher is checking if the children know the currencies from around the world.

First she asks Mike about Britain's currency and he says:"Pounds."

Then she asks Joe about America's currency he says:"Dollars."

Finally she gets to Peter and asks him what is Germany's currency.

He says:"TIMES."

Bamboozled, she asks what is "times"?

Peter:"Well yo...

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What did the US Treasury Secretary Say to the Chinese Central Banker After the Currency Devalued?

What the fuck are Yuan?

What do you call the new Iraqi currency?

An after Dinar mint.

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Currency Fluctuations

An Asian man comes to the US to do business and converts 110 million Yen into 1 million dollars. On his next trip, he returns to the bank to do the same, but only receives $990,000 in return.

He asks the teller, "Why did I receive less this time?"

The teller responds with a shrug, "...

What is the accepted currency in Australia?

Outbucks.

TIL that the Hindi word for "penny" is derived from the word for bread, as in the ancient Indus valley, small and dense pieces of bread were used as currency

Sounds like a bunch of naan-cents to me

What is chicken used as currency called?

Legal tender

What's the one currency superman can't hold?

Kryptocurrency.

US currency types were having a contest to see who could accrue the most of another country’s currency

Nickels managed to stack up a lot of Euros and beat Quarters who only managed to pile up a few. Dimes did alright for themselves too but none of them bragged about how well they were doing because they knew that their smallest denomination friends were volatile and when confronted with bragging when...

Why didn't George Washington want his portrait on US currency?

Because he didn't want to be drawn and "quartered."

What do you call Donald Trump’s form of currency?

Trump change

I think that we should officially change our currency to balloons.

You could much more easily control inflation.

If karma was a currency, Reddit would be a capitalist society

But I've figured out how to make reddit into a communist society.

They just need to seize the memes of production.

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When/If Scotland becomes independent, what will the national currency be called?

Doesn't matter, you won't be able to pry it out of the cheap bastards' hands anyway.

An Iranian goes to exchange some currency

He asks the teller what the current rate is for the US Dollar.

"Now, or... now?"

Most people call it grave robbing...

I prefer to call it crypto-currency

This Chinese chap goes into a bank to change some currency. After receiving his Money he asks, "How come I came in here with same amount of Money as yesterday but today I get less Yuans in return?"

The banker says, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese guy replies, "Fluck you Blitish too."

In fallout, why are caps used as currency?

Because america is a CAPitalist country.

I heard Venezuelan currency has inflated so much they are weighing it instead of counting it.

Looks like they finally transitioned from bolivars to pounds.

If you could bring a suitcase to heaven

An old rich man is nearing the end of his life. He has started many charity organizations and has always been generous to the poor, but he never really felt like he found any purpose to his life, so he decides to attend a Christian congregation one Sunday. The minister gave a lesson entitled, 'If yo...

Why did the Irish call their currency the "Punt" ?

Because it rhymes with Bank Manager

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One week, a Chinese guy exchanged some currency....

and came back next week to do it again, only to find that the rate had increased.

He asked the nearby white clerk, "Hey! You! Why it more expensive now?"

The clerk replied, "Oh. Fluctuations."

And the Chinese man said, "Well, fuck you white guy!"

(Disclaimer: I'm Chinese ...

The only weakness Superman has on the internet is..

krypto-currency

Zimbabwe's currency is so devalued...

That rapper "50 cent" is known as "40 billion dollar"

ur mamma soooooo dumb

she though that Starbucks was alien currency.

The UK tested switching to the dollar...

Many years ago, England was considering switching the Pound over to the dollar. As a test run to see how it would fare, they made a run of dollar coins that they distributed to the public.

Not wanting to get them confused with the one pound coins, they decided they would change the Queen's fa...

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A joke from India

Translated from Hindi:

There is a queue outside the bank where people are waiting to get in and exchange currency. One chap keeps cutting the queue and goes to the front. The rest of the people keep forcing him back.

This goes on 5-6 times. The guy finally gets pissed and says

'...

An American guy goes to a currency conversion shop...

...and notices the changing rates of the US dollar. He says to the clerk, "Wow...fluctuations..." The clerk angrily replies, "HEY! FLUCK YOU WHITE GUYS TOO!"

There's an Italian town where pasta is a currency

A penne for their thoughts.

What do Bloods use as money?

Crip-toe-currency

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Currency caper

A Japanese man visits Australia.

On the way in he converts his 4000 yen to $100.

A couple of weeks later, he is returning home and converts his last $100, but this time only receives 2000 yen.

"what's up with this?", he enquires, "why is the conversion rate half what it was wh...

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An Japanese man walks into a bank...

... and goes up to the teller. Even though he is new to speaking English, he says, "I wish to exchange 400 of my currency for US dollars. The teller proceeds to do so and they politely part ways. A few days pass and the Japanese man again walks into the bank, again to exchange the same amount curren...

This is the story of Easter

While travelling throughout Jerusalem, President Trump suddenly gets a heart attack and subsequently dies. De undertaker tells the american diplomats and bodyguards that accompanied him this: "You could have him sent home for $50000 or you could bury him here in the holy land, after currency exchang...

The police get a call about a house two blocks away when on the night shift...

The caller doesn't say much but she says she often sees lots of money coming and going from the house and hears machines running all night and day.

The police put together a swat team just in case things go sideways.

They bust down the door to the house and find row upon row of washin...

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Three couples are waiting to enter the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter tells them, "I can tell how a man lived his life based upon the name of his wife. First couple, please step forward."

So, the first couple steps forward and St. Peter asks the guy, "What is your wife's name?" The guy says, "Her name is Penny."

St. Peter gives a disapproving...

The Man In Black was talking to an Alien in a coffee shop.

He asks, "what kind of currency does Space use?"
The Alien points to the cup of coffee and said, "Starbucks"

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NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:

**NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:**

Please be advised that anyone planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a full Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs. This assessment must also consider wheth...

If i had a dollar for every time i had an existential crisis...

it wouldn't matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless

Why doesn't superman fight cyber crime?

Because he's scared of krypto currency.

Exchange rate

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get tw...

How do vampires pay for things?

Crypt-currency.

I used to be a cashier at a gas station on the Canadian border.

I would always ask what currency people would be paying with, but I stopped after a woman screamed at me for assuming her tender.

What do you call 25 Mike Pence clones in a room with Donald Trump?

... Quarter pounder with cheese.

(Think British currency here)

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So they say a Harriet Tubman's face is going on the $20 bill.

Excellent, I can't wait to start using black people as currency again.

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