What do you call currency in space?

Starbucks.

A Chinese guy in the U.S. goes to exchange his currency.

He exchanges C¥10,000 and gets US$1,500.

The next day, he exchanges another C¥10,000, but gets only US$1,499. He asks why.

The exchange clerk says, “Fluctuations.”

The Chinese guy is shocked for a moment, and yells back, “Fluctuamelicans!”

What currency do processes use to bribe the processor?

They use cache

What currency can we use to buy coffee in space

S T A R B U C K S

What's a corpse's favorite currency?

Cryptocurrency

I read that Brazil wants do dollarize its currency and i thought...

*That's not real*

This new digital currency is bitc*in!

Sorry. Bitcoin. It’s called bitcoin

What do you call the new Iraqi currency?

An after Dinar mint.

What would you do if all US currency turned in to cheese?

Personally I'd just start using a swiss bank

What currency do Jewish ogres use?

Shrekels.

A teacher is checking if the children know the currencies from around the world.

First she asks Mike about Britain's currency and he says:"Pounds."

Then she asks Joe about America's currency he says:"Dollars."

Finally she gets to Peter and asks him what is Germany's currency.

He says:"TIMES."

Bamboozled, she asks what is "times"?

Peter:"Well yo...

There's this amazing joke about Saudi Arabia's currency, but I forgot where I heard it

Then I remembered that I found the Riyal joke in the comments

So DC Comics currency

Superman’s weakness is probably a *krypto* currency

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villager that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villager that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to dimi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Japanese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City...

He entered the store with 2000 yen and walked out with $72.

The following week, he walked in with another 2000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.

The teller said, "Fluctuations."

The Japanese man stormed out, a...

Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.

a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.

a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.

the guy said to me in an annoyed voice...

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What did the US Treasury Secretary Say to the Chinese Central Banker After the Currency Devalued?

What the fuck are Yuan?

What is the accepted currency in Australia?

Outbucks.

What is Forrest Gump’s favorite part of US currency?

The pen-nay

US currency types were having a contest to see who could accrue the most of another country’s currency

Nickels managed to stack up a lot of Euros and beat Quarters who only managed to pile up a few. Dimes did alright for themselves too but none of them bragged about how well they were doing because they knew that their smallest denomination friends were volatile and when confronted with bragging when...

Why didn't George Washington want his portrait on US currency?

Because he didn't want to be drawn and "quartered."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three couples are waiting to enter the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter tells them, "I can tell how a man lived his life based upon the name of his wife. First couple, please step forward."

So, the first couple steps forward and St. Peter asks the guy, "What is your wife's name?" The guy says, "Her name is Penny."

St. Peter gives a disapproving...

What is chicken used as currency called?

Legal tender

What do you call Donald Trump’s form of currency?

Trump change

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Currency Fluctuations

An Asian man comes to the US to do business and converts 110 million Yen into 1 million dollars. On his next trip, he returns to the bank to do the same, but only receives $990,000 in return.

He asks the teller, "Why did I receive less this time?"

The teller responds with a shrug, "...

TIL that the Hindi word for "penny" is derived from the word for bread, as in the ancient Indus valley, small and dense pieces of bread were used as currency

Sounds like a bunch of naan-cents to me

An Iranian goes to exchange some currency

He asks the teller what the current rate is for the US Dollar.

"Now, or... now?"

I heard Venezuelan currency has inflated so much they are weighing it instead of counting it.

Looks like they finally transitioned from bolivars to pounds.

I think that we should officially change our currency to balloons.

You could much more easily control inflation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Japanese man goes to a currency exchange in New York

He gives the girl at the counter 10000 yen and she gives him $100.
The next day he goes back into the exchange and goes up to the same girl at the counter. He again gives her 10000 yen and this time she gives him $90.
He asks “Why different?”
She replies “Fluctuations.”
He suddenly get...

If I Had a [currency] For Every [action],

I would do more of [action].

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad...

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?

If karma was a currency, Reddit would be a capitalist society

But I've figured out how to make reddit into a communist society.

They just need to seize the memes of production.

What's the one currency superman can't hold?

Kryptocurrency.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When/If Scotland becomes independent, what will the national currency be called?

Doesn't matter, you won't be able to pry it out of the cheap bastards' hands anyway.

Soviet joke request

I remember a joke on quora somewhere from a Russian guy about the cold war, but I cant seem to remember it right or find the joke. I can only remember that the joke went something like this: American scientists build a machine that can answer any question. During a test trial they ask it a series of...

In fallout, why are caps used as currency?

Because america is a CAPitalist country.

This Chinese chap goes into a bank to change some currency. After receiving his Money he asks, "How come I came in here with same amount of Money as yesterday but today I get less Yuans in return?"

The banker says, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese guy replies, "Fluck you Blitish too."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Japanese man walks into a bank...

... and goes up to the teller. Even though he is new to speaking English, he says, "I wish to exchange 400 of my currency for US dollars. The teller proceeds to do so and they politely part ways. A few days pass and the Japanese man again walks into the bank, again to exchange the same amount curren...

Breaking News

All the world's currency is now air. We store it in small balloons.

Prices seem to be quite inflated.

How do vampires pay for things?

Crypt-currency.

Zimbabwe's currency is so devalued...

That rapper "50 cent" is known as "40 billion dollar"

Superman's weakness

Superman started to invest in bitcoin but last night the currency dropped really bad and he got sad. Before he went to bed he told me:
- My only weakness is that crypto. 'night!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese man goes on holiday in Paris, and goes to convert his yuan into euros.

He stops at a currency exchange near the hotel he's staying at, and gets 500 euros in exchange for 4000 yuan.

The next week, he goes back to the currency exchange and exchanges another 4000 yuan to euros, but only gets 495 euros this time.

"Why is it only 495 euros today? You gave me 5...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One week, a Chinese guy exchanged some currency....

and came back next week to do it again, only to find that the rate had increased.

He asked the nearby white clerk, "Hey! You! Why it more expensive now?"

The clerk replied, "Oh. Fluctuations."

And the Chinese man said, "Well, fuck you white guy!"

(Disclaimer: I'm Chinese ...

An American guy goes to a currency conversion shop...

...and notices the changing rates of the US dollar. He says to the clerk, "Wow...fluctuations..." The clerk angrily replies, "HEY! FLUCK YOU WHITE GUYS TOO!"

I used to be a cashier at a gas station on the Canadian border.

I would always ask what currency people would be paying with, but I stopped after a woman screamed at me for assuming her tender.

Why did the Irish call their currency the "Punt" ?

Because it rhymes with Bank Manager

There's an Italian town where pasta is a currency

A penne for their thoughts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Currency caper

A Japanese man visits Australia.

On the way in he converts his 4000 yen to $100.

A couple of weeks later, he is returning home and converts his last $100, but this time only receives 2000 yen.

"what's up with this?", he enquires, "why is the conversion rate half what it was wh...

What do you call 25 Mike Pence clones in a room with Donald Trump?

... Quarter pounder with cheese.

(Think British currency here)

I am buying my coffin from a company located in Ireland.

I wonder if they accept crypt o'currency?

Jewish Man calls Newspaper office to print death news of his Grandpa

Clerk: $50 per word

Jewish Man: Grandpa Dead

Clerk: Sorry Sir, Minimum 5 words required ...

Jewish Man: "Grandpa Dead, Wheelchair for Sale!”

*Edit to western currency*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke from India

Translated from Hindi:

There is a queue outside the bank where people are waiting to get in and exchange currency. One chap keeps cutting the queue and goes to the front. The rest of the people keep forcing him back.

This goes on 5-6 times. The guy finally gets pissed and says

'...

What do you call a tomb full of money?

A crypt o' currency.

Exchange rate

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get tw...

If i had a dollar for every time i had an existential crisis...

it wouldn't matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So they say a Harriet Tubman's face is going on the $20 bill.

Excellent, I can't wait to start using black people as currency again.

How did Superman get rich in the 2010s?

By investing in Krypto-currency.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 18 year old kid spends his first day in prison.. [NSFW]

He ends up getting a bunk mate whose an older guy, and been inside for while. This older guy has access to lots of goodies such as oreos and cup of noodles etc.. In prison that is basically its own form of currency. The old man can tell the kid is scared and tells him
"I'll tell you what kid I'l...

What do you say about a man who spent all his savings excavating a tomb full of fake money?

He invested in the wrong crypt o' currency.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Im excited to have Tubman on the twenty

So we can use black people as currency again

Did you hear of the American who robbed a bank in Latvia?

Turns out potatoes aren't a valid currency in the US.

Germany and the Czech Republic have left the EU to form their own fully integrated economy.

Their currency is called the ✓

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A German SS Officer back in 1940 walked into a bar and ordered a drink...

And the bartender gave him the requested drink after accepting the required currency because Nazi Germany does not have a sense of humor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm excited about a black person being on the $20 bill.

I always wanted to use black people as currency.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump's statement regarding China

Trump: "In little over a week when I take office, China will fall into a slump. Factories will shut down, shops will close, stock markets will not trade, and government will grind to a halt.The wealthy will flee overseas with their families, citizens desperately trade their currency for food, doors ...

What is the Zombie equivalent of a Leprechaun's Pot o' Gold?

Crypt o' Currency.

I went to pay the Cashier at the Grocery store

Cashier "That will be $18.35"

Me: Hands her a $50 bill

Cashier "Sorry sir, We cant accept that because we had too many problems with counterfeit currency. Do you have anything smaller?"

Me " I fully understand, Here you go.."
*Politely hands her a crisp $25 bill*

With how fat America is....

With how fat America is, I'm surprised their currency isn't in pounds.

George's son

George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son.

The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to
the boy, and the father replies: "Euro."

The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.

Says George: "What? There ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

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Please be advised that all employees planning to dash though the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only o...

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