UPJOKE
moneydollarbanknotecoinlegal tenderfrancpaper moneycasheurofiat moneymonetarybankinflationgreenbackpound sterling

Currency Jokes

A Chinese guy in the U.S. goes to exchange his currency.

He exchanges C¥10,000 and gets US$1,500.

The next day, he exchanges another C¥10,000, but gets only US$1,499. He asks why.

The exchange clerk says, “Fluctuations.”

The Chinese guy is shocked for a moment, and yells back, “Fluctuamelicans!”

Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.

a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.

a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.

the guy said to me in an annoyed voice...

What do you call currency in space?

Starbucks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Asian walks into a currency exchange and get $100 back for his exchange

Next day he goes there again and for the same amount of money he receives $94 this time.

He asks the teller "why $6 less today compared to yesterday"

The teller say "fluctuations"

The Asian man get up angrily and storms out slamming the door, turns around and shouts "fluc you Am...

A boy asked his Crypto-investing dad for $10.00 worth of Shiba Inu currency..

Dad: $16.57? What do you need $3.28 for?

What did the American say after his wife explained US currency to him?

Ohh, that makes cents

What type of currency will Superman never accept?

Krypto-currency

Did you know that chicken strips are a new form of currency in some areas?

They’re considered legal “tender”

I believe that it is time for all the world's countries to come together and create one universal currency

I mean it's just common cents

What do they call the currency in Kazakhstan?

The Almaty dollar

If I had a dollar for every time inflation devalued our currency…..

I'd already have a quarter by the time you finished reading this....

But, That's just my 2 cents.

What do you call Russian currency after it's been destroyed?

A Rubble.

To increase foreign currency reserves, the Government of China is offering a limited-time double exchange rate offer.

Buy Yuan get Yuan free.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The porn industry introduces its own virtual currency.

Clitcoin.

What currency do processes use to bribe the processor?

They use cache

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL Vietnam’s national currency is the Dong.

I mean I’ve heard of shit costing an arm and a leg but that just seems cruel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Currency Fluctuations

An Asian man comes to the US to do business and converts 110 million Yen into 1 million dollars. On his next trip, he returns to the bank to do the same, but only receives $990,000 in return.

He asks the teller, "Why did I receive less this time?"

The teller responds with a shrug, "...

What's a corpse's favorite currency?

Cryptocurrency

We should all agree on a global currency

In my opinion, dollars make the most cents

Chuck Norris mines crypto currency

by hand.

Did you hear about the country that tried to use fresh fruit as currency?

They ran into problems when everyone’s money started to get moldy. Last I heard, they’re looking into using non-fungible tokens now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72.

The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.

The teller said "Fluctuations."

The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fuck you America...

why did elementary school kids ask their Hispanic janitor about Chinese currency?

Because it takes Juan to know Yuan!

Countries around the world are having a competition to find out which currency is the best

Brazilian trying to keep it real, Russian is in ruble, and South Korean won.

I had to throw out all of my danish currency

I didn't wanna catch the Kronervirus

What type of currency they use in outer space?

Star Bucks

What do you call investing your partners paycheck into a crypto currency they don't like?

Passive aggressive income

US currency types were having a contest to see who could accrue the most of another country’s currency

Nickels managed to stack up a lot of Euros and beat Quarters who only managed to pile up a few. Dimes did alright for themselves too but none of them bragged about how well they were doing because they knew that their smallest denomination friends were volatile and when confronted with bragging when...

What currency do Jewish ogres use?

Shrekels.

What is the accepted currency in Australia?

Outbucks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke from India

Translated from Hindi:

There is a queue outside the bank where people are waiting to get in and exchange currency. One chap keeps cutting the queue and goes to the front. The rest of the people keep forcing him back.

This goes on 5-6 times. The guy finally gets pissed and says

'...

Superman lost all of his money on a digital currency scheme

It was his cryptonite.

This new digital currency is bitc*in!

Sorry. Bitcoin. It’s called bitcoin

You see each country has its own currency

In the US they have the dollar

In the UK they have the pound

In the EU they have the euro

In Australia they have toilet paper

Did anyone hear about that country who started using balloons as currency?

They ended up with a massive inflation problem.

Unusable name

A man comes to the birth registration office to register his newborn son.

The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to the boy, and the father replies: "Euro."

 The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.

Says th...

I have a job at the mint making paper currency.

That’s right, my job isn’t making cents.

What's the one currency superman can't hold?

Kryptocurrency.

What is Forrest Gump’s favorite part of US currency?

The pen-nay

The metal strip in paper currency is sensitive to microwave and radio waves.

Because it apparently tends to burn a hole in the pocket.

What would you do if all US currency turned in to cheese?

Personally I'd just start using a swiss bank

Why did the Irish call their currency the "Punt" ?

Because it rhymes with Bank Manager

Every single currency in this world is just an illusion, a social construct

but Brazil's real.

Zimbabwe's currency is so devalued...

That rapper "50 cent" is known as "40 billion dollar"

If karma was a currency, Reddit would be a capitalist society

But I've figured out how to make reddit into a communist society.

They just need to seize the memes of production.

I think that we should officially change our currency to balloons.

You could much more easily control inflation.

What do you call the new Iraqi currency?

An after Dinar mint.

I read that Brazil wants do dollarize its currency and i thought...

*That's not real*

Why didn't George Washington want his portrait on US currency?

Because he didn't want to be drawn and "quartered."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One week, a Chinese guy exchanged some currency....

and came back next week to do it again, only to find that the rate had increased.

He asked the nearby white clerk, "Hey! You! Why it more expensive now?"

The clerk replied, "Oh. Fluctuations."

And the Chinese man said, "Well, fuck you white guy!"

(Disclaimer: I'm Chinese ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When/If Scotland becomes independent, what will the national currency be called?

Doesn't matter, you won't be able to pry it out of the cheap bastards' hands anyway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Currency caper

A Japanese man visits Australia.

On the way in he converts his 4000 yen to $100.

A couple of weeks later, he is returning home and converts his last $100, but this time only receives 2000 yen.

"what's up with this?", he enquires, "why is the conversion rate half what it was wh...

What's the name of the Thai superhero that fights crime while dressed as currency?

Bahtman.

Or is it The Bahtman?

I heard Venezuelan currency has inflated so much they are weighing it instead of counting it.

Looks like they finally transitioned from bolivars to pounds.

Know what they called the Russian Ruble last week?

Currency

There's this amazing joke about Saudi Arabia's currency, but I forgot where I heard it

Then I remembered that I found the Riyal joke in the comments

There's an Italian town where pasta is a currency

A penne for their thoughts.

TIL that the Hindi word for "penny" is derived from the word for bread, as in the ancient Indus valley, small and dense pieces of bread were used as currency

Sounds like a bunch of naan-cents to me

This Chinese chap goes into a bank to change some currency. After receiving his Money he asks, "How come I came in here with same amount of Money as yesterday but today I get less Yuans in return?"

The banker says, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese guy replies, "Fluck you Blitish too."

In order to help win their gang war, the Bloods in LA have started accepting the severed feet of their enemies as a form of payment.

They’re calling it Crip Toe Currency.

A teacher is checking if the children know the currencies from around the world.

First she asks Mike about Britain's currency and he says:"Pounds."

Then she asks Joe about America's currency he says:"Dollars."

Finally she gets to Peter and asks him what is Germany's currency.

He says:"TIMES."

Bamboozled, she asks what is "times"?

Peter:"Well yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Japanese man walks into a bank...

... and goes up to the teller. Even though he is new to speaking English, he says, "I wish to exchange 400 of my currency for US dollars. The teller proceeds to do so and they politely part ways. A few days pass and the Japanese man again walks into the bank, again to exchange the same amount curren...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the US Treasury Secretary Say to the Chinese Central Banker After the Currency Devalued?

What the fuck are Yuan?

An American guy goes to a currency conversion shop...

...and notices the changing rates of the US dollar. He says to the clerk, "Wow...fluctuations..." The clerk angrily replies, "HEY! FLUCK YOU WHITE GUYS TOO!"

If Bitcoin eventually goes under…

Will it go to the Crypt O’ Currency?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So they say a Harriet Tubman's face is going on the $20 bill.

Excellent, I can't wait to start using black people as currency again.

Most people call it grave robbing...

I prefer to call it crypto-currency

An astronaut lands on an alien world.

Once upon a time an astronaut landed on an alien world. The world was full of trees and plants and wildlife. But one species in particular caught his eye. Short and round with huge feet, they were kind. They sang songs all day, drank, and made merry. After observing them from afar for many days, the...

Due to recent changes, 50 cent has changed his citizenship to the UK.

After experiencing weight gain, he is being converted to UK currency and will now be known as "50 pounds".

Harry & Hermione go to Hogsmeade

Since school had started back up in September, hogsmeade visits once again became something to look forward to.

There was the 2nd week of September and then, luckily, one on Hermione's Birthday, just in time to buy her something nice.

Things the next month were the same as usual; Harry...

Exchange rate

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get tw...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm excited about a black person being on the $20 bill.

I always wanted to use black people as currency.

It's not graverobbing! It's a system of mining grave yards to determine the validity of transactions.

It's a new way of thinking of money! I call it crypt-o-currency.

How do you pay a necromancer for their services?

Crypt-o-currency

A visit to the mint

A guy goes to visit the US mint to see how currency is created. During the tour he notices half the machines are not running. He decides to ask the tour guide what’s going on. The tour guide shakes his head and says, “Yesterday everything was working just fine, today it’s only printing bills, it jus...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you pay an undead prostitute?

With CryptHo Currency.

If i had a dollar for every time i had an existential crisis...

it wouldn't matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don’t know why they call it “the sex trade”

They won’t take my baseball cards as currency.

Street gangs of southern LA have started decapitating each other and using the body parts to trade for goods...

The most valuable of which is the Crip toe currency.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Smart home

is the one that quietly connects to neighbors wi-fi and power grid at night, then mines crypto currency to pay for its own mortgage. And not all that bullshit they advertise on tv.

Yesterday I tucked some receipts from Bitcoin into an exotic dancer's panties.

My first use of stripto currency.

I sold my cabin out in the mountains to Sasquautch.

He paid me in cryptid currency.

So who's winning?

Two men talking at the bar:

\- So, whats new?

\- NATO is at war with Russia

\- Oh, so how it's going?

\- Russia lost couple thousands of their soldiers including their elite squads, over hundred helicopters and planes, couple hundreds of armored vehicles and tanks, three ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.