One day, legendary musician Sting becomes bored of music, and decides to try his luck at day trading.

He does a few online courses and begins trading.

On the first day Sting loses some money, but learns from it, and unpertrubed by the small losses he continues with it. On the second day, Sting loses a bit less, and learns even more. Happy with the results, he decides to sink some more money i...

Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.

a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.

a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.

the guy said to me in an annoyed voice...

A father was walking past his son's bedroom one day and happened to look in.

He was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up off the floor. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

Fearing the worst, he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter. It said:

*Dea...

What rodent helps reduce your risk when trading livestock futures?

A hedgehog

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three horses are arguing in a stable

Each one is convinced they are a better racer than the other two. Thus, the three bicker and brag and talk over one another.

"Now see here, see here!" Says the first horse. "I have been racing for four years, and every summer of those ten years I have come in first every race I ran!"

"...

I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey..

It was a cruel and unusual thing that cost me the best years of my life to a crippling depression. Whatever joy i had only seemed to dwindle over time, as my hokey pokey induced stupors reduced an eternal bond to several years of a loveless marriage.




And believe me, I tried so ha...

Why does Superman hate trading Bitcoin after 7pm?

Because it's Crypto-night

CEO Brian Krzanich sold his stock, and it might be considered insider trading...

You could say he had certain Intel about the situation.

This could turn into a total Meltdown.

What does Trump think about trading with China?

It's tariffic.

A boy asked his bitcoin trading father

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.45? What do you need $10.11 for?

A group of cosmic rays establishes a stock trading company

A group of cosmic rays establishes a stock trading company. As energetic as they come, they start off with a bang. With a handful of eager young protons joining their ranks, they begin to see extremely positive gains in their investments in no time. They're making more money than they know what to d...

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A Conservative Brit, a Conservative American, a Liberal American, and a Liberal Brit were at a pool

The Conservative Brit says: “Hey, what’s everyone’s favorite stroke? Mine is the freestyle because it’s free like how I like trading to be”

The Conservative American says “I like the backstroke because I want things to go back to how they were in the old times”

The Liberal American say...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Prison Fun

Bob the stockbroker was convicted of insider trading and sent to federal prison.
He was housed with a big, tough bank robber named Jesse.

Walking into his shared cell for the first time Bob was understandably nervous.

“ Hello there, welcome to your new home” said Jesse holding ou...

What do you call trading one joke for another?

Quip pro quo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kid asks his Grandpa about Slavery

A kid goes to his grandpa and asks him about slavery

Kid: Grandpa does slavery still exist today?

Grandpa: Slavery exists all over the world on almost every continent in the world.

Kid: I know in North America that black people used to be enslaved but theres no way that the acqu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Indian walks into a trading post

And he asks the owner for toilet paper. The owner replies we have Charmin for .35 cents a roll. The Indian shakes his head and says too much. The owner says we also have Bounty for .15 cents a roll. Again the Indian shakes his head and says too much. The owner says well I have some no name toilet pa...

Trading gold for a good consulting / corporate or office joke...

Guys, it's been a long day, I need a laugh and I've got three months of gold to give away. Help me out?

Bakers have a weird way of trading bread recipes.

Its done on a knead to know basis. Gotta get the dough somehow

Heard this from a Navy officer on shore leave.

A Commodore in the Navy found himself wrongly accused of trading secrets with the enemy, so he bluffed his way onto a docked submarine and ordered it out to sea so he could wait out the inquest in peace.


His superiors caught wind of this and ordered a nearby friendly destroyer to go to hi...

How the Internet started according to the bible.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto...

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