Why do white women like trading stories about asking for the manager?

Because Sharon is Karen.

Did you know trading in foreign currencies is like going to the restroom?

This morning when I closed my position, I'd lost five pounds.

Trading humans like mere goods is highly illegal and immoral.

Unless you are a football team manager.

New digital LOTR trading card JPEGs for sale!!!

Non Fungible Tolkien’s

After 8 months of trial and error, hundreds of hours of YouTube, losing money, almost giving up, I can finally say I made my first $100 trading stocks

Never mind, I'm in the red again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young and an old banker were talking to each other.

The old banker tells the tips and tricks of being a banker to the young one

"Look son, to be successul at this job, it is not enough to seize the opportunity, sometimes you'll need to create the opportunity too. Look now, there is a pile of dog turd a few yards in front of us, it is most prob...

I’ve been getting into trading socks recently

You know, the ones on Wool Street.

I can't believe I got a life sentence for a little insider trading

The judge called it "organ harvesting", but that's just semantics

Dear Dad

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. ...

People say I’m too aggressive when I’m trading baseball cards.

It’s because I’m Ruthless.

Memories - Robin Williams Told this Originally

I was moving to California when I stopped at one of those old Indian trading posts somewhere in the desert.

One of the attractions there was an Native American with a sign beside him that read "this man has greatest memory in the world $5 per question" So I paid my $5 and asked him a questio...

Want to know an easy way to become a Millionaire?

Be a Billionaire and start day-trading

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Whats that thing that's common between stock trading and sex?

You should pull out your assets at the right moment

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Who's the toughest

A group of old men were sitting at the local VFW, downing beers and trading war stories.

They were joined by another old man, who was new to their club, so they took their turns trying to prove who was the toughest.

First the Navy guy stood up: "I was on the USS Indianapolis, when it g...

Two electrons were following quantum physics principles, as usual, while exchanging virtual protons to conduct an electric current

One electron said to the other, "This quantum trading stuff sounds like imaginary nonsense; if I can carry meaningful information faster than the speed of light, then I will."

The remaining electron watched his former partner depart into the nether, sighed, then said to his collar microphone,...

One day, legendary musician Sting becomes bored of music, and decides to try his luck at day trading.

He does a few online courses and begins trading.

On the first day Sting loses some money, but learns from it, and unpertrubed by the small losses he continues with it. On the second day, Sting loses a bit less, and learns even more. Happy with the results, he decides to sink some more money i...

Carl and Clarance lived on opposite sides of the Mississippi River..

They lived their whole lives right across the river from each other, way back in the day. The nearest bridge across was 100 miles away, and both were too poor to afford an automobile, so from their youth they made a past time of shouting insults to one another from across the river.
For many yea...

Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.

a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.

a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.

the guy said to me in an annoyed voice...

Amid reports of insider trading by senators during the pandemic, a leaked memo reveals that the vice president had the opportunity as well, but refused to profit even as he contracted the virus himself

Sick Pence none the richer

My friend asked me for a trading technique when I told him I have $100k worth of stock in this bad market.

I said, "Start with $200k".

Why does Superman hate trading Bitcoin after 7pm?

Because it's Crypto-night

CEO Brian Krzanich sold his stock, and it might be considered insider trading...

You could say he had certain Intel about the situation.

This could turn into a total Meltdown.

What rodent helps reduce your risk when trading livestock futures?

A hedgehog

Why did the rich transplant surgeon go to jail?

He got caught red-handed, inside her trading.

Where can you find the highest volume of insecurities trading in the world?

The New York Stalk Exchange

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A little boy in a quaint town was said to be the hairiest person in history.

Even in a small community, where everyone was aware of and understood his plight, living a normal life was difficult. Even though everyone was respectful, the sheer volume of hair and speed at which it grew was a constant hardship. It interfered with the boy's eating, he would overheat quickly durin...

What does Trump think about trading with China?

It's tariffic.

A boy asked his bitcoin trading father

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.45? What do you need $10.11 for?

Trading gold for a good consulting / corporate or office joke...

Guys, it's been a long day, I need a laugh and I've got three months of gold to give away. Help me out?

If you’re gathering with family & friends today, there’s an opportunity for recreating an historically accurate tradition.

The trading of disease ridden blankets.

A group of cosmic rays establishes a stock trading company

A group of cosmic rays establishes a stock trading company. As energetic as they come, they start off with a bang. With a handful of eager young protons joining their ranks, they begin to see extremely positive gains in their investments in no time. They're making more money than they know what to d...

Quincy inherited a large sum of money at a young age from his father, but he wasted it all on illicit drugs and became destitute and homeless.

It's a cold December night in New York City, with temperatures well below freezing point. Quincy shivers in his one and only winter coat, the same one he's had for the past ten years, lying on a park bench sheltered by nothing but tree canopies. Quincy, in a rare moment of soberness and self-reflect...

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An Indian walks into a trading post

And he asks the owner for toilet paper. The owner replies we have Charmin for .35 cents a roll. The Indian shakes his head and says too much. The owner says we also have Bounty for .15 cents a roll. Again the Indian shakes his head and says too much. The owner says well I have some no name toilet pa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beer

This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of "Bud Light" cheap.

I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.

She glanced at the two bo...

What do you call trading one joke for another?

Quip pro quo

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