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All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen... Aleve is also called Naproxen.   

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.   

After careful consideration by a team of...

A child is ill and the make a wish foundation asks what he would like more than anything. The child thinks about it and says, "I'd like to trade places with Donald Trump!"

They interpret as he wants to know what it's like to be president for a day.

So they ask Trump, he obliges.

Trump meets the child and asks, "So you want to know what it's like to be
president?"

The child, disappointed, retorts "No, I just wanted you to have cancer."

Why do Canadian businessmen go clubbing after a big trade agreement?

To seal the deal

I hate people who trade with minerals

They take everything for granite

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The say your last name speaks to your ancestor’s trade or status or of their nature. I put some stock in that so that’s why...

I never let my son play with the Dickinson family next door.

A sailor has just signed up to join a Transatlantic trade crew for their latest voyage...

The rest of the crew have worked together for years, so he's the only newbie. Initially, it seems to be a pretty ordinary job.

However, after the initial work of loading the ship and leaving the harbor was done, he noticed something weird.

During lunch or dinner, whenever most of the c...

I was hungry and low on potassium, He needed a device to help him weigh things, it seemed like a fair trade...

Banana for scale

Hitting a deer with your car is always an unfair trade.

You're out the cost of the insurance deductible, but nature is only out a buck.

All this talk of trade wars...

It’s just Tariffying

I have the best girlfriend i would not trade for anything on earth

but NASA was having this sale on moon rocks at the gift-shop

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call a woman who trades sexual favors for Italian food?

A pasta-tute

What do you call the ant in the colony who trades with other ant colonies for resources?

Import-ant

I've been reading so much about the scary trade disputes between the US and Canada, I see headlines when I blink...

...Frankly, I'm tariff-eyed.

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I knew this girl that tried to trade sex for adderall.

What an attention whore.

What's the #1 rule of the spice trade?

Thyme is money.

i just got a bike for my wife

it was a good trade.

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Duck Trade

A farmer had a duck but no use for it. One day the father says, "Son, we don’t need the duck. Take it to the market and sell. In the process you might learn something about trade.”

So the son takes the duck and heads to the city. Upon arriving he runs into a hooker. She says, "Hey, wanna have...

What do Hillary Clinton and the World Trade Center have in common?

Both collapsed on 9/11 after becoming overheated.

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates…

The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.

After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area.

Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens o...

Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11 ?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.

I told my friend about the Muslim slave trade the other day...

"Dubai?" He asked

"Yes, and sell" I replied.

I got a new car for my wife!

Best trade I ever made.

I would trade my legs for 5 million dollars

But I don't think it would be worth it in the long run

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There was a man named Ivan, born and raised in the Soviet Union.

From the moment he was born, he lived in oppression and poverty. His rations were meager, his work in the coal mines hard. But one day, he gets a ray of hope, solace from his hardships, when, as he’s driving his Lada from his home to the local coal mine, he sees a sign.

“Swimming Lessons: Imp...

Why would someone make an open-world, action-adventure game dealing with the Caribbean drug trade?

Just 'cause.

Why do pirates love reddit

It is the best place to trade stolen content for gold, arrrrrrr!

Good trade

Man was walking down the street with a case of beer. His friend Sam stops him and asks "what did ya get the beer for?"

I got it for my wife answers the man

Oh exclaims Sam "Good trade"

They say that Indian Cooks are a jack of all trades...

But a master of naan.

My girlfriend said this to me when we were getting indian food tonight.

What's the best trade a palindrome has ever made?

A nut for a jar of tuna.

City Scammer

A scam artist from the city needs to lay low for a while an goes to a faraway village where nobody knows him.

​

He thinks to himself: "These people are probably not as smart as the city folk and I could probably get away with a few scams. It'll be easy pickings."

&...

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A fisherman walks into /r/jokes...

A fisherman walks into /r/jokes where he meets a bartender. The bartender offers him a drink. The fisherman says he does not have money to pay, so instead he offers a trade-- if he can get the bartender to laugh at his joke, then the bartender should provide a drink for free. The bartender, a smug, ...

Trump wants to cut funding for birth control, renegotiate trade deals, and stop the wars in the Middle East.

It seems pulling out is his solution for everything.

Bakers trade bread recipes...

on a knead-to-know basis.

My dad just told me that in some cultures, they trade women for cattle.

At first I was a bit concerned, but then I realised putting food on your family's plates was was much more important that cleaning those plates.

The media reported that two Eastern European countries were to play a part in a trade deal during negotiation.

The press later realized that they had misinterpreted a memo from the negotiating parties regarding their lunch order.

An intern was fired for leaving out many crucial details in the memo, including the side dishes and salads, failing to catch an important spelling error, and simplifying thei...

What do you call the underground slave trade?

The black market.

I'm a Jack of all trades

But a master of pun.

I like my women like the World Trade Centers

Tall, hot, and going down

A man with a hunchback was walking trough the cemetery.

A ghost spooks him with a question.
- What is that on your back ? the ghost asks.
- Its a hunchback ! the man replies.
- Can i have it ? asks the ghost.
- Shure !!! and the trade is done.
Mindblown,the man goes to his wimp-leg friend and tell him the story.As soon as he finishes tell...

A starship engineer trades half their ship's cargo...

For a sub light engine. The captain finds out and is angry:
"Why did you trade valuable cargo for something 1/10th the value?"
The engineer replies: "Sorry captain, it was an impulse buy"

The iPhone 7 is an of all trades

Sorry, I meant "jack of all trades" but there's no more jack.

George W. Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are standing in front of god ...

God begins by asking Bush: "George, in what do you believe?"

Bush: "I believe in free trade and the USA as a strong nation".

God, seemingly impressed: "You may sit to my right".

Then God looks at Obama and asks "Barack, in what do you believe?".

Obama: "I believe in democ...

What kind of pizzas did Al Qaeda deliver to the World Trade Center?

Two large plains.

The World Trade Center had a Speed-Reading club

they went thru fifty stories in thirty seconds

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A bricklayer wrote to the worker's compensation board.

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional
information. In block number three of the accident report form, I put “trying to do the job alone” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details...

A native american hitchhiker was picked up by a slick city man who was driving past the reservation.

As they were driving along, the native american noticed a brown paper bag on the dashboard and inquired as to its contents. The city man replied: "It's a bottle of wine, I got it for my wife".

The native american looked forward at the road, nodded his head solemnly, and said: "Good trade".

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Reddit, trade Sean Connery jokes with me (warning: contains shockingly bad puns)

The joke I heard here that started it all:

What time does Sean Connery show up at Wimbledon?
*Tennish*

Now, thanks to that discovery, I'm stuck in a tour van with four dudes and we are all hopelessly addicted. Here are what I consider to be our top ten:

1. Did you hear about ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A porn star comes running up to a laundromat just as it's closing, offering to trade sex so she can wash her clothes. [nsfw]

She just wanted to get one more load in.

A Cherokee chief and a corporate director

A Cherokee chief, poorly dressed, and a corporate director in a fancy suit share a bench in Central Park.

The corporate guy notices that from time to time the chief is peeking at his paper bag, printed with a clever design, that rests at his feet.

“You like the bag?”

“Yes, fancy...

The Hitchhiker.

A man is driving across the state to see his wife when he sees a Native American hitchhiker on the side of the road. Thinking he could do with some company, he pulls over and lets the man in, offering him a ride home.

The Native man is grateful, but our driver notices that he keeps eyeing the...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So Mr. Cohen and Mr. Brown are about to start trade with each other.

Mr. Cohen and Mr. Brown are two business men in New York. Mr. Brown is a fourth generation American, who owns a big clothing store, while Mr. Cohen is an old Jewish man, who immigrated to the U.S from Poland during the war. Mr. Cohen is small business owner, who makes cloth.

One day Mr. Cohen...

Today I learned the history of the word noodles

Back in ancient Asian territory, they created a food product. They chose to trade it with the Western world. When asked what they called this food, they realised they didn't have a name for it yet. It was a great food that always ended with empty bowls, so they decided to take the English words 'nau...

a jewish boy and a maffia dons' son decide to trade birthday gifts

the Jewish boy has a rolex watch, the maffia dons' son has a Beretta. they both decide the other has the better gift so they swap gifts and go home. the jewish father finds the Beretta and says " what is this? this is not good, this is not good!"

the mafia don finds the rollex watch and ...

Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.

a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.

a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.

the guy said to me in an annoyed voice...

One day an old dog lost his way while chasing rabbits.

Soon he noticed a lion in the distance running towards him with a hungry look in his eye.

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, the dog immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the lion was about to leap, the old dog exclaimed, "That wa...

It was a dark, stormy, night.

The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.

A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out “Sir, Good Evening, Sir!”

The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why do women have better sex under socialism?

Because they need to trade it for food.

I read a sign today that said Watch for Children

I thought it was a pretty fair trade

Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his cup of free-trade coffee?

Because he started drinking it before it was cool.

Today a whole bunch of friends in trade school started throwing jokes around. These were the funniest.

What do you call a electrician who tries to be a carpenter?
A lousy carpenter

What do yoy call a carpenter who tries to be an electrican?
A dead carpenter

What do you call a electrician with a hammer?
Thief

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Computer idiots (Warning: Old)

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" k...

Peter Pan and Captain Hook agree to a truce. (LONG)

After years upon years of fighting, kidnapping/fairynapping, and pilfering, the two rivals decide to agree to a truce, as both are realizing that their hearts are no longer in the fight. They agree that Pan and the Lost Boys will stay mostly on the mainland, and Hook and the Pirates will stay out to...

Who are some of the best readers in the world?

World Trade Center workers, some of them can read 50 stories in just 8 seconds!

Once upon a time there were three kingdoms.

They all bordered a large lake, which created trade and travel for all three kingdoms. Eventually, the ruler of the first kingdom decided that it wanted to control the whole lake. With his superior navy, he took control. In the generations to follow, his kingdom prospered. The second kingdom tried i...

A carpenter, plumber, an electrician and a welder are all dating the same woman. What do you call her?

A jack off all trades