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Trade Jokes

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All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen... Aleve is also called Naproxen.   

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.   

After careful consideration by a team of...

Brittney Griner had been traded for Viktor Bout

This is the first WNBA trade that I paid attention to.
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Trade

A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a
bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn
mower.

"How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher.

"I'm just trying to make enough money to buy a bicycle," said
the little boy.

Afte...
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A robber pulled a gun on the bank clerk and manager saying, “Give me all the money! I need it to set myself up in a trade or profession. You know, initial investment is needed to cover the overheads until my cash flow is established.”

The bank manager said to the clerk, “You’d better do what he says, I think he means business.”
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Scottish Trade

A guy walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian,

"Excuse me Miss, day ye harv eni books on suicide?"

To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses, and says,

"Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!"
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A merchant told another "I'll trade you a barium atom and two sodiums for that weight measuring device."

"BaNaNa for scale?"
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Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.

a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.

a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.

the guy said to me in an annoyed voice...
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During my midlife crisis, I traded in my Kia for a new convertible.

I literally sold my soul for this sports car
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Did you hear about the guy who traded his car for an old cellphone?

Now he’s got Nokia
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One Ukrainian Jew to another: "Would you share this imported bottle of Scotch with me?"

The other: "Of course I would. But we barely have money for food. Where did you get Scotch?"

First: "I traded some Russian caviar for it."

Second: "But how did you get Russian caviar?"

First: "I traded some calamari to them for it."

Second: "But we're hundreds of kilomete...

Wanna trade jokes about poo?

I've got piles
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What did the merchant say after a good trade?

Good buy
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The Geography of a Woman:

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile, and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like the USA. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, r...
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Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.

After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area.

Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his ...
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Good Trade !

I remember once when I was driving home from one of my business trips through Northern Arizona, when I saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, I stopped the car and asked the Navajo man if he'd would like a ride. With a word or two of thanks, ...
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What is a Pirate's favorite letter?

The one from the General Manager telling him he's been traded to the Mets.



Thanks to everyone who awarded this post! You're so kind .
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The organisers of the International Chilli Growers Trade Show put up a fairground as entertainment —

The ChilliCon Carney
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don’t know why they call it “the sex trade”

They won’t take my baseball cards as currency.

What do Hillary Clinton and the World Trade Center have in common?

Both collapsed on 9/11 after becoming overheated.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Prostitute that only gives hand jobs?

Jack off all trades

A barber in my town was arrested for illegal drug trade. It was shocking, I have been his customer for years.

Never knew he was a barber.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s it called when a stripper and a tattoo artist trade services?

Tit for tat.

Why do people hate jokes about the world trade center?

Because its an easy target
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rabinovich, a Soviet trade official, is called to the Party meeting to be fired.

"Please, I have a family to feed," he begs the Party official.

"Okay," the partorg says, "You will go to Paris to sell Soviet perfume. If you get the contract, we will give you a bonus and let you stay."

So Rabinovich flies off to Paris. A week later, Moscow receives a telegram.
...

What's the #1 rule of the spice trade?

Thyme is money.
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Given Isaac Newton's links to the slave trade,

perhaps we ought to abolish gravity.

It would be a weight off his shoulders.
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Good trade

Man was walking down the street with a case of beer. His friend Sam stops him and asks "what did ya get the beer for?"

I got it for my wife answers the man

Oh exclaims Sam "Good trade"
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A child is ill and the make a wish foundation asks what he would like more than anything. The child thinks about it and says, "I'd like to trade places with Donald Trump!"

They interpret as he wants to know what it's like to be president for a day.

So they ask Trump, he obliges.

Trump meets the child and asks, "So you want to know what it's like to be
president?"

The child, disappointed, retorts "No, I just wanted you to have cancer."
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I hate people who trade with minerals

They take everything for granite
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Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11 ?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a koala bear walks into a brothel.

He picks out the best looking girl, and heads upstairs with her. While up there, he eats her out like a madman, doing things she's never even heard of. After about an hour he gets up heads out the door.

The girl stops him and demands payment.

The koala doesn't understand. She has him l...

Bakers trade bread recipes...

on a knead-to-know basis.
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I would trade my legs for 5 million dollars

But I don't think it would be worth it in the long run
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Can anyone trade me a wheelchair?

I offer a crushed motorbike
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Where did the ice-cream man learn his trade?

At sundae school
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The job interviewer asked me: "Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence?"

I said, "I'd rather trade intelligence for intelligence."
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I traded a deer for some chickens.

Overall it was a good deal. It only cost me a buck.
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Joe Biden is a Jack of all trades

Apparently he has his fingers in many pies.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call people who have trade jobs can't afford to hire individual hookers?

A jackoff all trades.

There was once a rich merchant ...

...who owned a slave named Manuel who was very good at hiding his thoughts and feelings. This merchant would often have his slave negotiate trade deals, very much to the merchants profit. This was the case because it was a well-known fact of that...

Nobody reads the owner's Manuel.
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All this talk about International trade wars.....

It’s just Tariffying....
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Just traded my girlfriend for a bean burrito.

Food for thot.
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Why did Margaret Thatcher hate the Trade Unions?

Because they include u and i but not her.
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Did you hear? Copies of The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion are considered one-of-a-kind when sold and traded.

They're Non-Fungible Tolkiens.
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Street gangs of southern LA have started decapitating each other and using the body parts to trade for goods...

The most valuable of which is the Crip toe currency.
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What kind of pizzas did Al Qaeda deliver to the World Trade Center?

Two large plains.
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An Indian tracker is teaching his son the family trade

After a day of analyzing prints and tracks, the old man laid his head down on the plain. After a moment, he said “Buffalo come.”

The son excitedly asked “How can you tell? Can you hear the hoof beats?”

“No” he replied. “Ear sticky.”
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Why is it a good thing to study oceanic trade routes?

Because you’ll have a maritime (merry time)!
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What did Trump say to China during the Trade War Negotiations?

It's my way, my way or the Huawei.
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They say once you stop one addiction you trade it for another.

So I stopped chugging beer and started sipping whiskey.
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My friend traded a sausage for a seabird.

He's taken a tern for the wurst.
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A duck walks into a tavern and orders a beer.

The bartender thinks "Wow, a talking duck," and pours him a beer.

The bartender asks "I don't think I've seen you in here before. Do you live in the neighborhood?"

The duck says "No, I live across town. I'm a drywaller, and I'm working the office renovation across the street. I...
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An electrical engineer, mechanical engineer, and software engineer are on their way to a trade show

when their car stalls and they are forced to pull over to the side of the road.

The mechanical engineer says, “It’s probably a mechanical problem. I’ll get my tool box out of the trunk and I can fix it.”

The electrical engineer says, “No, I’ll bet it’s an electrical problem. I have my ...
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I got a PS5 for my brother.

Best trade ever.
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Why is slave trade illegal

Because it's a black market.
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Hitting a deer with your car is always an unfair trade.

You're out the cost of the insurance deductible, but nature is only out a buck.
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The trade war between the U.S. and China is really devolving

Into a case of he said, Xi said.
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Due to new trade agreements, China becoming increasingly concerned about running out of oil.

No big supplies there.
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I traded my car to get my interest rates lowered

It worked, women are now less interested in me.
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[OC] Why did the guy take machining classes at the all female trade school?

He wanted to get lathed.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A genie offered to increase my penis length by 1 inch for every 10 IQ I traded...

Hehdixka a. Sueuwkk aksjns sjebbe Magjxianq an

Him "I know we agreed to trade my cheese for your chicken, but I forgot the cheese at home. Will you still give me the chicken?"

Her "Absolutely not! You know what they say: 'No parm, no fowl!'".
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China: "We give up, Donald. What'll it take to end the Trade War?

Trump: "You'll have to move all of your factories to the US."

China: "We can't do that."

Trump: "That's too bad, because it's my way or the Huawei."
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Just got a bike for my wife.

It was a good trade.
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It is a little known fact that the Dutch pioneered genetic engineering.

Back in the 80s they had genetically engineered a strain of grain that ended up making musical tones when the wind blew across it.

They trade marked it as Holland Oats.

The United Nations refused to recognize the trade mark, saying "I can't go for that, no can do."
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Why do pirates love reddit?

Tis the best place to trade stolen content for gold.
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I traded my countertop for a new marble one, but now I miss my old one.

It's like they always say, never take anything for granite
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The World Trade Center had a Speed-Reading club

they went thru fifty stories in thirty seconds
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If I have an Indian Restaurant, I'll call it Jack of All Trades

Master of Naan
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In 1944, Germany was losing WWII and was desperate for money. Nazi party officials secretely visited Switzerland bankers and offered to trade an entire division of Panzers in exchange for precious metals.

Tanks for the gold!

I saw a sign that said "watch for children".

and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"
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They say that Indian Cooks are a jack of all trades...

But a master of naan.

My girlfriend said this to me when we were getting indian food tonight.
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My mother is a tailor by trade, and won't let me buy anything from the store, I have to wear what she makes...

I guess you could say she's pretty clothes minded
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There’s a lot of blaming and accusations going on concerning the Trump/China trade talks. Basically . . .

It’s a lot of He said Xi said.
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A starship engineer trades half their ship's cargo...

For a sub light engine. The captain finds out and is angry:
"Why did you trade valuable cargo for something 1/10th the value?"
The engineer replies: "Sorry captain, it was an impulse buy"
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What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock?

Publicly traded stock will mature and make money.
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A sailor has just signed up to join a Transatlantic trade crew for their latest voyage...

The rest of the crew have worked together for years, so he's the only newbie. Initially, it seems to be a pretty ordinary job.

However, after the initial work of loading the ship and leaving the harbor was done, he noticed something weird.

During lunch or dinner, whenever most of the c...
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I traded my blowup doll in for a middle eastern version..

It blows itself up..
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I just traded four rolls of toilet paper and a package of baby wipes for a 2017 Maserati.

I am going to miss that car.
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What did DJ Khaled say when the second plane hit the World Trade Center?

Anotha one!
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