My workplace has a monthly fun day, and this month was PJ Day. But when I showed up in my PJs, I WAS FIRED!

\#justicefornakedsleepers

I keep hearing that more women in the workplace makes for a stronger economy. But isn't that obvious?

Cheaper labour always helps the bottom line.

I heard you have to make a payment when you enter a Microsoft workplace

They are called bill gates

I hate being the only 3D modelling guy at my workplace

Every day my coworkers will ask if I can do them a solid

Alot of airport workers treat workplace sanitation very seriously.

Otherwise people could catch terminal illnesses.

Did you hear about the guy who’s surrounded by positive people at his workplace?

Yeah, he really hates his work at the HIV clinic.

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My boss told be there would be a training seminar about sexual innuendo in the workplace and asked me to invite my secretary.

I left her a post it note saying if she couldn’t come I’d happily fill her slot for her.

I hate when my daughter tells that she feels embarassed when I show up in her workplace and check on her

But this is the only strip club in the town ..

The bathroom door at my workplace has a sign that reads "Please use toilet brush after using the toilet."

Will it be okay to ask my employer to provide a softer brush so it hurts less?

If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days

just set it to the name of the current Australian Prime minister and you should be fine.

Request from a worried P*nis

I, the P\*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following

reasons:



1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. In fact holidays and weekends are when I to...

A construction worker lost his hand in an workplace accident.

The insurance company is trying to figure out how it happened but they can't quite put their finger on it

It's warm here, but every workplace window is bolted shut

I'll never work again as a submarine captain!

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A guy is talking to his coworker.

Guy: "Man, I got fired."

Coworker: "Oh no! What happened?"

Guy: "Boss told me that if I didn't fuck her right there in the office, I'd get fired."

Coworker: "Oh, and you said no?"

Guy: "No, I said yes!"

Coworker: "So why did you get fired?"
...

The male owner of a business is interviewing a young woman just about to graduate from an all-women’s college.

She was very excited about her interview but wanted to make sure that this business was progressive when it came to women in the workplace. It seemed like every company she interviewed at were run by horrible misogynists. When it came to the part of the interview when he asked her if she had any que...

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What do you call a droid who was sexually harassed in the workplace?

R2MeToo

My boss doesn't approve my practice of taking a glass of rum before work. He said "I won't tolerate alcoholism in a workplace!", to which I replied "Sir, it's not alcoholism..

*it's microboozing*

My boss is refusing to let my string quartet play for a coworker's birthday party next week.

He says he has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to workplace violins.

My workplace has "Jamaican Hair Day" next week...

...I'm already dreading it.

My workplace is like an episode of Gilmore Girls

Fast paced and full of unlikeable characters.

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I met my girlfriend in high school,

We were immediately best friends and spent days together having the most fun I had ever had. Then one day I asked her the question.

She said yes!

We were so happy together and we stayed together through high school. We both finished college together, we both got jobs together and event...

Why did Medusa have to take harassment in the workplace training?

Because she wouldn't stop objectifying people.

The Guinness Factory in Dublin Experiences a Workplace Fatality

The unhappy job of giving the news to the widow falls upon the deceased man's best friend, Gerald.

Gerald knocks on the door of his dead friend's house and Mary, the widow, answers the door.

"Mary, I'm afraid there has been an accident at the factory, Tom was involved."

"My God....

Interviewer: What are your thoughts about nepotism in a workplace environment?

Candidate: Well, that’s a really good question, Dad.

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Called into HR at work

I recently got called into a meeting with HR in my workplace. They wanted to discuss my incident with another co worker involving a dare where I threw a lamp at them and yelled "Lighten the fuck up".

I told them straight up it was a dare and not all my own doing.

HR asked me, "so who'...

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I get horrified whenever I hear about women being mistreated at their workplaces.

What in the flying fuck are they doing out of the kitchen?

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Inappropriate Workplace Behavior

So this girl at work has always kind of had a thing for me right, but this week especially she's been like you're so cool, I like your shirt, blah blah all up in my biz and eventually she tells me that she really wants to see it. Holy shit right?! So I had been mulling that over for a couple of days...

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A new nurse is being given the tour of his new workplace.

He and a fellow nurse walk the hallways of the hospital. Passing one of the rooms he sees a nurse mounted on top of a patient having rough passionate sex.

"What on earth is this nurse doing?!" He asked.
The other nurse casually replies "this man has a very rare condition. I...

Enter job interview . Interviewer asks infamous question "what is your greatest weakness in the workplace?" Pause for 10 to 15 seconds then say "I'm bad with awkward silences "

If the don't laugh then pause again and say "sometimes my jokes aren't well received " problem solved

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During the job interview

"So, it says here you've been fired for having sex at your workplace...TWICE."

"Well, I guess I was neither suited to be a mortician nor a vet."

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My workplace scheduled Sexual Harassment Training.

Needless to say, I was greatly disappointed.

My boss fired me because of my lack of knowledge in regards to the workplace.

After a few hours I finally found the exit.

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How do you describe someone who has a boner when they are at their workplace?

Hard at work

Why did the chemist got fired?

He was caught at his workplace looking at polonium radon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kinds of boobs are popular in the workplace?

Pos-tits.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Problems at work

I've got to a change jobs", the patient said to his psychiatrist. "I've worked in a pickled onion factory for ten years, and last week I started to get this uncontrollable urge to put my dick in the onion peeler."
The psychiatrist explains about workplace stress and told him he must learn to re...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

General Motors finally solved their workplace diversity dilemma

There are equal numbers of black, white, brown, red, yellow, and orange robots. Half the robots have penises drawn on them.

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I am not a sexist but...

female mosquitos don't belong in a workplace. They suck the life right out of you.

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A man calls his secretary...

A man calls his secretary, but the call goes to his boss instead. The man says “Hey! Get ur lazy ass up and bring me a damn coffee!” The boss, a firm believer in respect in the workplace, is outraged! She says “Listen here, sir! I am the manager of this company! Furthermore, I own this entire buildi...

I work as a CNA and today at work a resident in the cafeteria in a nursing home I work for asked for 1 extra cracker for his soup...

...to this, the other resident that was sitting next to him replied to me: "Oh I thought you were just going to pick me up and hand me to him."

**Yes r/jokes leaked into real life today at my workplace.**

I just got fired from my new job at the pharmacy.

Apparently "drug free workplace" and "free drug workplace" are not the same thing at all.

CNN & NBC news report (political humor)

*Breaking news*

A man has killed twenty people today in a walmart with a gun. The man has been identified as muhammed takbir muhammed. He is an unemployed son of a family that immigrated to the united states ten years ago from Afghanistan.

Multiple witnesses say the man was yelling "A...

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A Greek businessman goes to Germany

to buy machinery for his new business and goes to a visit to the factory from where he plans to buy the machinery, and the Manager of that Factory is giving him a tour around and suddenly with the whistle he has he whistles once and at that very moment hundreds of workers stop working. Surprised the...

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A lawyer walks into a bar...

Mr. Jones, the lawyer, walked into a bar. The bartender poured him a drink, then noticed Mr. Jones had a black eye. “What happened to you?” asked the bartender. “You look like you’ve been in a fight.”

“It’s been just an awful day at work, I tell you what.” said Mr. Jones. “I don’t even work i...

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The Wasp who Won America's Heart (shaggy dog)

Deep in the wasp swamps of the wasp Florida keys, there lived a young wasp. Just as a proper wasp does, this wasp worked day and night for the hive. He worked and slaved and gave his all - but this wasp was no regular wasp, for within him was the ambition and the wisdom of a great, great wasp. So, w...

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Another day at the White House

After returning from the White House after a forum on sex in the workplace, Monica Lewinsky takes her dress to the dry cleaner.

The dry cleaner has an ear infection and is having trouble hearing.

Monica says to the dry cleaner, I need my dress cleaned. The dry cleaner does not hear her...

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A guy was transferred to an oasis...

...and there he should work in the camp which was set up there. So the leader of the oasis showed him around and explained everything to him. "See over there", he said to the man, "there is the tent where you sleep." They walked on and the leader said, "And over there is your workplace." and he poin...

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Saw someone post this on Facebook. Got a kick out of it.

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity
generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of Energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water
utility.

After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-re...

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