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Dysfunction Jokes

[NSFW] What do you call a gamer with erectile dysfunction?

Ubisoft

I opened a bar for men with erectile dysfunction.

It was a total flop. Nobody came

I decided to put together a support group for erectile dysfunction

It was a big flop and nobody came.

Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team-up and make a medicine to treat erectile dysfunction,

and name it ElonGates.

Erectile Dysfunction

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate was for a consultation with an traditional healer, who was well known to have a very good naturopathic cure for erectile dysfunction!

As he despised western medicine, believing the conspiracy theo...

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A man went to the doctor complaining about erectile dysfunction...

A man went to the doctor and told him that he was having trouble maintaining an erection. After a complete exam the doctor told the man that the muscles around the base of his penis were damaged from a prior viral infection and there was nothing he could do for him.

However, he knew of an exp...

Where do men with erectile dysfunction go to find a job?

Ubisoft

I can't believe how many people don't understand erectile dysfunction.

I mean, it's not hard.

What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?

A reptile dysfunction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a whale with erectile dysfunction?

Mopey Dick

If you guys have more Moby Dick jokes, let me know in the comments

Erectile dysfunction

Is one disease that’s hard to beat.

What do waterfalls take when they have erectile dysfunction?

Niagara.

i found a great online support group for erectile dysfunction

but the site won’t stay up

It ain’t always easy having erectile dysfunction

but it sure as hell ain’t hard

My 12-year-old son asked his grandfather what the worst thing about old age was...

Grandpa answered:

"It's erectile dysfunction."

My son asked:

"But is it really that bad?"

Grandpa replied:

"Imagine someone trying to play snooker with a rope... it's the same thing..."

Bull has Erectile Dysfunction

Farmer tells a veterinarian that his bull won’t mount the cows because of E.D. The vet says that’s easy to fix the vet walks over to a cow sticks his hand in the cow’s privates and takes his wet hand and rubs it over the nose of the bull. The bull immediately gets excited and mounts the cow. The sa...

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Dysfunctional Parrot

Jim goes to the pet store, looking to buy a parrot. They’re all pretty expensive except one, which is $20. He asks, “Hm what’s wrong with you?” To his surprise the parrot responds, “Well, I’m a dysfunctional parrot. I have no legs and I can’t fly. But I AM a great companion! I’m fluent in three lang...

Did you know Jesus had erectile dysfunction?

It took him 3 days to rise again

Making jokes about some subjects is tough, but with erectile dysfunction..

It isn't very hard.

My friend is quitting his job at the erectile dysfunction clinic...

He hasn't gotten a raise in years.

What do you call a lizard that doesn’t work?

A reptile dysfunction

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man Goes to the Doctor About His Erectile Dysfunction

“Doc I can’t perform in bed and it’s killing my dating life.”


The doctor replies, “I have just the thing,” and hands the man a bottle of pills. “These will allow you to get an erection, but only when lying on your back. Just tell her she should be on top.”
The man agrees to try it, des...

I've been diagnosed with temporomandibular joint dysfunction

Can't wait to get back to the daily grind.

The erectile dysfunction society held a championship fund-raiser the other week...

...But no one made it past the semi-finals

I had to apologize to my friend for making fun of his erectile dysfunction.

I said, “Hope there are no hard feelings.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats it called when a black guy has erectile dysfunction?

Black cock down

People always ask me, “How does one cope with erectile dysfunction?”

Honestly, it’s not that hard.

This is an important statement about erectile dysfunction and male virility.

What, you thought it would be a joke? The punchline isn't coming.

Stephen Hawking diagnosed with erectile dysfunction.

It was easy to fix, they just uninstalled his pop-up blocker.

Did you hear about the guy with erectile dysfunction who was aroused by tastes and smells?

It took a while, but he finally came to his senses.

Elon Musk and Bill Gates have decided to partner in a joint venture to invent a medication to overcome erectile dysfunction.

They have decided to name the new drug 'Elongates'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy had an erectile dysfunction and went to the doctor...

... the doctor gave him a little pill and told him:
"Take this the next time you drink a coffee with your wife nearby."
Four days later the man again visits his doc:
"Doc this didn't work out. I did like you told me. Coffee with wife, take the pill! I immediately noticed the effect and te...

They weird thing about the Erectile Dysfunction support groups is they're always planning meetings (NSFW)

But nobody can come.

Police say a Maryland man stole $369 worth of erectile dysfunction and insomnia meds from a pharmacy

Apparently he wanted to stay up but not stay up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend asked why I never told her about my sexual dysfunction

But honestly it just never came up

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Flawless people must have erectile dysfunction

They never cock up

My friend said her husband has erectile dysfunction

Me: "Well, I guess your husband has thrust issues."


I'll see myself out.

There's a new erectile dysfunction medicine on the market

Its called mycoxaflopin

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I held an orgy for my sexual dysfunction class last night.

Nobody came.

Yo, I'm your DJ, erectile dysfunction

I'm going to make sure you all go hard, even though I can't

Did you hear that Trump is a spokesman for a new erectile dysfunction pill?

It’s called “Ensurerection”

Who was the first man diagnosed with erectile dysfunction?

Cain.

He wasn't Abel.

My doctor said he could give me some aids for my erectile dysfunction.

I told him that didn't sound like a good trade.

I'm now doing a report on the erectile dysfunction medicine market.

From what I've gathered, there's stiff competiton.

I watched a film about a giant crocodile with erectile dysfunction....

Lake Flaccid.

Earlier today I saw this dude walking out of an erectile dysfunction support group. He looked like a douche, so I tried to fight him. But no luck...

It's almost impossible to get a rise out of those people.

I tried making a group for men with erectile dysfunction.

Turns out it was harder than I thought.

I've been trying to hide my erectile dysfunction from my girlfriend...

But I just don't think I can keep it up for much longer.

What do you call a family reunion for a dysfunctional family?

A family dysfunction

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor asked me how my sex life is with Erectile Dysfunction

I replied, “Ever try playing pool with a rope?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Easily accessible porn is causing increased cases of erectile dysfunction in younger populations...

Its a growing problem.

I heard the Argentina team has erectile dysfunction

because they never finish

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Now that generic versions of Viagra are available, there are several low-cost options to treat erectile dysfunction.

Ask your doctor if coxaphlopin is right for you.

Did you hear about the guy who has reverse erectile dysfunction?

He having a real hard time at the moment.

I had a joke about erectile dysfunction saved on my phone...

but it's taking awhile to get up

What does my dad and a guy with erectile dysfunction have in common?

Neither of them are coming.

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A medical student decided to study sexual dysfunction as his speciality.....

On his first day in the hospital, the chief doctor decided to show him around and to start teaching his new student about this area of medicine. As part of the training, the chief doctor decided to bring the student around to all the patients in his wing so the student could see firsthand some of th...

I'm starting an app for men with erectile dysfunction

I'm calling it Tender

How come doctors often forget to ask about erectile dysfunction?

It just never comes up

A man experiencing erectile dysfunction

A man experiencing erectile dysfunction goes to see a doctor. The doctor asks him about his eating habits, whether he exercises or not, and what he does for a living. After considering everything he has heard, he asks to see a picture of the man's wife. The man opens his wallet and shows him. The do...

There's one thing you should know about living with erectile dysfunction

It's just not as hard as it used to be

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Sexual dysfunction group is having a special meeting for the non orgasmic.

Let me know if you can't come.

I organised a support group meeting for individuals with erectile dysfunction.

Though around 20 people registered, many couldn't come.

The doctor said I’d suffer with erectile dysfunction...

But it hasn’t given me a hard time

I asked the librarian for the latest book on erectile dysfunction.

She tapped the keys to her computer keyboard and said..

"It's not coming up!"...

I said.."Yeah!...that's the one!!

Whoever said 'laughter is the best medicine'...

...clearly never suffered from erectile dysfunction.

I have been meaning to discuss erectile dysfunction with my wife.

But it hasn't come up yet.

A newly released Harvard study links NFL head trauma to erectile dysfunction...

The players could sue but I dont think it would stand up in court.

OK.

What genius decided to call it Erectile Dysfunction and not Ballzheimer's?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I thought a high quality sex doll would help with my erectile dysfunction.

But it turns out good plastic is hard to come by.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Erectile dysfunction is a serious condition.

It ain't nothing to fuck with.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After extensive research, I've found out that bacon can cure erectile dysfunction.

In other words, I fucked a pig

An elderly lady went to the doctor to discuss her stubborn husband's erectile dysfunction

Upon explaining the situation to the doctor, he told her to take these little blue pills, slip one in his coffee, and he would be good to go in no time. So later that day, the elderly lady and her husband are having coffee and she slips a pill into his without him noticing. Shortly after, he picks u...

What’s the difference between a man who’s paralyzed and one who has erectile dysfunction

One can get up in the morning the other can get it up in the morning

When do you know you're getting erectile dysfunction?

When it gets harder and harder to get harder

No joke, Dubai spent billions on a bunch of man-made islands and they are now sinking.

I guess all the money in the world can't help erect-isle dysfunction

Why is visiting Taj Mahal before you reach your destination a cure for erectile dysfunction?

Coz it forces you to take the via Agra route

"How long are you going to be at your erectile dysfunction appointment?" asked my wife.

I said, "Well, I won't be long."

I called to the toilet paper manufacturer to complain about a dysfunctional layer of the product...

They wouldn't re-ply.

My dad recently joined a support group for people with erectile dysfunction...

Their slogan is: "If You Can't Beat 'em, Join 'em.

Did you hear about the new nightclub that opened called "Erectile Dysfunction"?

No? I'm not surprised; it was a complete flop. Nobody came.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A new intern is accompanying an experienced physician on rounds at the Clinic For Sexual Dysfunction.

As they look into the first room, the patient is furiously masturbating and looks very uncomfortable.

The intern asks, what’s wrong with that poor guy?

The doctor replies, “He suffers from extreme semen backup disorder. If he doesn’t ejaculate every three hours, he could die.”
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a programmer with a small dick and erectile dysfunction jacks off but doesn't let himself cum?

Microsoft Edge

After developing erectile dysfunction, a man tries all the medically recognised treatment...

Pharmaceuticals, change in diet etc. Nothing worked. At the end of his rope, he gives a medicine man a try. The medicine man gives him a natural remedy and tells him, "When you're ready for it to take effect, say, '1,2,3'. When you're done, say, '1,2,3,4'."
The medicine man assured him it would w...

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So, an older gentleman with erectile dysfunction goes to the doctor..

...the doc scratches his chin and looks at him for a while, and then clicks his fingers.
"I've got just the thing for you! This is a rather new medicine, having just cleared the last phases of clinical trial. You'll feel like you're twenty again!"
"Anything to get old Jimbob back in the le...

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