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I went to see a dentist.

After examining my mouth: "There's something wrong with your taste bud."


"What is it?" I asked.

He said, "Well, for a first, those shoes are fucking hideous."

What is it called when a dentist makes a mistake?

Accidental

Why do liberals hate dentists?

Because dentists make teeth straight and white.

My dentist told me "This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?"

I said "Yes, I'm ready."

He said "I'm sleeping with your wife."

My dentist was voted "Dentist Of The Year"....

He didn't get a trophy, they just gave him a little plaque.

a graphic designer, an astrophysicist, a dentist and an electrician walk into a bar

it was queen and they were playing their first gig

After earning his DDS; a dentist went and opened up his own practice.

He became widely known for his amazing skills, and was highly praised + recommended by every patient he ever had. One year; he was nominated for (and won) a prestigious medical award. Inscribed upon its ornate surface was his name and the specific honor: “Global Recognition of Outstanding Surgical S...

The dentist

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Went and had a cavity fixed this morning," the guy tells the bartender. "But it wasn't my usual dentist. Just some guy filling in."

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A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled The dentist pulls out the novocaine freezing needle to inject the man. “No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects.

“I can’t do the gas thing – the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!”

The dentist then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill.

“No,” the patient says, “I am fine with pills.”...

What time does the Asian dentist schedule their appointments?

She doesn't: the office staff schedule them on her behalf at different times throughout the day.

Dentist: "This is going to hurt a bit. Ready?"

Me, shutting my eyes, dreading this moment: "Yes, ready."

Dentist: "That will be $700 please."

The dentist asks, "What kind of filling do you want?"

The child answers, "Chocolate!"

I went to a new Dentist to get some dental work done.

He said he's going to put me under and I'll feel a small prick in my mouth.

This experience left a bad taste in my mouth.

While on the run from the cops, Peter hid in a dentist's office.

Seeing that the dentist left for a break, he quickly donned the uniform to avoid getting caught. Soon after, a man entered the office for his appointment. Peter knew nothing about dentistry but he was in too deep to bail.

The client said, "I have a problem with my cavity."

Peter, tryi...

A guy walks into a dentist’s office ,

And says, “I think I’m a moth.”

The dentist replies “You shouldn’t be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist…”

The guys replies, “I am seeing a psychiatrist.”

The dentist says, “Well then what are you doing here?”

And the guy says, “Your light was on.”

An old woman walked into a dentist's office,

took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

My dentist was cleaning my teeth and told me to open up more.

I told him I hadn’t seen my father in three years.

What does mike Tyson wear to the dentist?

A teeth hurt

Dentist always dumb questions like “when’s the last time you flossed?”

Like bro you were there wtf

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A man invites some of his fetish club over for breakfast....

They are catching up on life and swapping stories about work, their grandkids’ birthdays, their recent stock market fortunes, and so on, when the subject of what they’re most proud of comes up.


Gerald, a 35 year old dentist, proudly exclaims, “Of everyone here, I by far, have the larges...

What's something a dentist can say but a gynecologist cannot?

I'm a dentist.


EDIT: Do not read the comments they are not very appropriate.

EDIT 2: Okay people seem to be making a different type of joke to my prompt so I've decided to attach an alternate version: >!I'm not a gynecologist.!<

EDIT 3: This post wouldn't have had to b...

Joke told by my 8 years old niece: At what time do most people go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty

My dentist told me to open up

I told him I often have trouble putting people's words into context.

He said he can tell.

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After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, Mark remembered he had a dentist appointment.

He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash.As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too.The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide.The dentist ...

A dentist looks into a patient's mouth and says, "That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen. That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen."

"I heard you the first time," says the patient. "You didn't need to say it the second time."

"I didn't," says the dentist. "That was my echo."

A dentist graduated from Hogwarts...

He’s now known as the “Wizard of Aahhhs”

What do you call a bad dentist?

And Awfuldontist

What did the dentist say to his girlfriend?

"You have the nicest teeth I've ever come across"

When my dentist reminded me about my husband’s sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed and laughed about it for a while, but then it hit me....

We have different dentists...

Chad goes to the dentist.

Dentist: "So, when's the last time you flossed?"

Chad: "Bro, you don't remember? You were there."

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A joke from my grandfather who was a dentist for 40 years

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?

Because everywhere else it would be a teethbrush.

The local dentist received an award for being the best dentist in town. Know what they gave him?

A little plaque.

What is the difference between a philosopher and a dentist?

A dentist helps you solve *molar* dilemmas

Dentist: "You need a crown."

Me:”Finally, someone who understands me."

My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth

It was accidental

I was at the dentist the other day

Dentist: this is going to hurt a little

Me: it’s ok i’m ready

Dentist: i’ve been sleeping with your mom

"I would rather have a baby than getting my teeth filled" a young woman said nervously on the dentist chair

"Fine by me " replied the dentist " first let me adjust the chair to a better position" .

Why did the queen go to the dentist?

She had severe gingivitis.

My dentist told me I'm right on the brink of having tooth decay

He said the situation was precarious.

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A man wanted to try 69 with his girlfriend

Right in the middle the man realizes he has a dentist appointment. So he pops up and heads to the bathroom. He brushes his teeth 3 times. He uses mouth wash twice and flosses once for good measure.

He gets to the dentist office just in time and his dentist calls him in. Dentist says open wid...

A local dentist was arrested recently for dealing drugs, came as a huge surprise for me ...

I’d been going to him for 6 years and never knew he was a dentist

My dentist asked me how long it had been since I flossed

I said “you should know that, you were there”.

I fell in love with a Dentist, she broke up with me.

Now my heart has a cavity no one can fill.

A woman walked into the dentist's clinic very nervously and said, "I'm scared. I'd rather have a baby than get a tooth pulled out."

"Fine with me," said the dentist, "but I'll have to adjust the chair."

What will the Monster eat after the Dentist pulled out his teeth?

The Dentist

Why does TSA like to hire dentists as supervisors?

They are already experts in performing cavity searches.

What did the Dentist say when he was being prosecuted in court?

YOU CANT HANDLE THE TOOTH!!!!!!

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?

The drill slipped.

I've been to the dentist a few times before,

so I know the drill.

I went to the dentist and they said I need a crown,

I thought "recognition at last"

Why did the British Dentist regret giving the entitled man a crown

The patient started acting like a tyrant

I hold my boyfriend and my dentist to the same standard...

They're not allowed to ask me open ended questions when they're in my mouth.

Dentist warns his patient, “This might be a bit painful.”

Patient: “That’s OK, I’ll handle it.”


The dentist sighs, “For a while now, I’ve been having an affair with your wife.”

What did the dentist say to his wife on the wedding night?

Open wide, please!

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A man picks up a girl at a party. They proceed to her place and things start to heat up....

He takes his shirt off and then washes his hands. He takes his pants off and washes hands again. After watching this for a few minutes, the girl says, "I bet you're a dentist." Surprised he replies, "That's correct. How did you know?" "You keep washing your hands, so I figure you're used to it...

What will the dentist give you for $1?

Buck teeth!

My Tounge during a dentist appointment is a lot like my life: I have no clue what to do with it

Original Joke

I took my father to the dentist.

My father is very old and frail, so he needs help when he leaves the house. The other day, I had to take him to the dentist.

Due to Covid-19 protocols, every person who went into the building had to have a temperature check. There was a lady and her mother in front of us, and when checked, t...

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A woman comes home from the Gynecologist

She tells her husband “The doctor says I have an infection, and I can’t put anything in there for two weeks, so no sex”

Her husband says “well what did your dentist say?”

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9 out of 10 dentists agree...

That the one other dentist is shit at their job.

How do dentists practice what they do?

They run drills!

My dentist said my teeth were stained and then asked me "Do you smoke or drink coffee?"

I said ... "I drink it"

Did you know , Vatican gives a special place of work to pope's dentist

It's called The Listerine Chapel

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What the tooth fairy looks like

This came from the book “chicken soup for the dental soul” my dentist had it in the waiting room.

I’m quoting from memory.

A 5 year old girl just lost a baby tooth and the dentist was explaining to her that if she put her tooth under the pillow at night that the tooth fairy would come ...

Why did Ben Shapiro become a dentist?

Because plaques don’t care about your fillings.

Fergus goes to the dentist and asks about the cost of a tooth extraction.

$85 for an extraction sir," was the dentists reply.

"Och huv ye nay got unythin cheaper," replies the Scotsman getting agitated.

"But that's the normal charge for an extraction sir," replied the dentist.

"What aboot if ye didnae use uny anaesthetic?" asked Fergus hopefully. <...

I got my first prostate exam last week.

Never going to that dentist again...

With all the NSFW jokes here lately, we could use a nice clean joke

A pharmaceutical salesman was staying at a bed and breakfast in a small town while on a business trip. The B&B was run by a kindly old gentleman and advertised three square "southern" meals a day and a relaxing country feel.

While the salesman was eating his breakfast, he noticed what app...

I used to know some good dentist jokes

But I need to brush up on them

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A man walks into the dentist's office and after the dentist examines him,

He says, "that tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes."

The man grabs the dentist's arm, "no way. I hate needles I'm not having any shot!"

So the dentist says, "okay, we'll have to go with the gas."

The man replies, "abs...

Santa goes to the dentist...

... complaining about his dentures wearing out.


"It seems like they're corroding, doc! What am I doing wrong?"


The dentist looked concerned. "Have there been any changes to your diet?"


"As a matter of fact," said Santa, "Mrs Claus has started making a wonderful holla...

Did you know dentist don't have fences around their house?

They have Colgates

Be kind to dentists...

They have fillings too.

So two men are in coffins, one of them hears a sound, so he says to the other: “are you coffin in there?”

Fun fact: this is how they tested if my laughing gas was working at the dentist. I laughed my but off so they knew it was working.

What do you call a boat full of dentists?

A tooth ferry

So there was an N2O leak in the dentist's office....

I had to hold the urge to not say "What's that funny smell?"

What do you call a dentist who’s just had a minor car accident?

Dent-ist

Dentist time!

Me: “Hi I’d like to book an appointment please, my filling has fallen out and I’m in a lot of pain.”

Dentist: “Iet’s see what we can do...... 2.30?”

Me. “Yes! Very much so. That’s why I’m ringing!”

A rich blonde woman from Beverly Hills was at the dentist about to get her tooth pulled.

The dentist asked, "Do you want a local anesthetic?"

She shook her head and said, "Let's not pinch pennies, doctor. I only want the best! Do you have anything imported?”

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A guy goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted. She pulled out a large syringe to give an anesthetic shot.

"No way, no needles! I hate needles!" the man exclaimed.
So she started to hook up the nitrous oxide tank, and the man said, "I can't do the gas thing. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me!"
The dentist then asked the patient if he had any objections to taking a pill....

An old lady goes to a dentist, lies on his table, drops her panties and stretches her legs

The dentist says “I’m not a gynecologist.” She says “I know, I need my husband’s teeth back.”

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.



"Eighty dollars," the dentist says.
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says.
"Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an anesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60."
"That's still too expensive," the man says.
"Okay," says the de...

I've been a dentist for ten years.

This is the first time I'm getting a cavity search at the airport.

Did you know mythological creatures have their own dentist's office?

It's true, I saw it today and they were suuuuuuper busy! The waiting room was packed, and every time the orderly would come out to call in another patient, the half-man-half-horse would get all excited; "is it my turn now? oh, pick me, pick me!" and all that jazz. Of course, every time it was actual...

Why did the OREO go to the dentist?

Because he needed a filling

Why did the king go to the dentist?

To get his teeth crowned.

I told my kids I was gonna take them to that place with the Ferris wheel and cotton candy, but instead I took them to the dentist

They said it wasn’t fair

I got thrown out of the dentist's surgery for dancing.

I mean, he's the one who asked me to floss...

I don't mind going to the dentist.

My tongue hates it, though. He always gets depressed.

:)

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What did the Nazi dentist say on reddit?

Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

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Why are you putting your sexy lingerie? It's just a dentist appointment after all.

\- Yeah, but what if he is a pervert?

So I’m at the dentist yesterday...

So I’m at the dentist yesterday, the dentist has a needle deep in my gums. As he’s concentrating, he casually says, “how are fat chicks and bricks alike?” I was like “au-ha-oa-iea” (his hand still in my mouth) He goes “welp, sooner or later their gonna get laid by a Mexican.”

True story.

I’ve been watching this Anime about dentists.

But it’s been getting boring. I’m a little tired of the filler episodes.

Why did the dentist and the manicurist get divorced?

Because they fought tooth and nail.

An old lady went to visit her dentist.

When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs.

The dentist said, "Excuse me, but I'm not a gynecologist."

"I know," said the old lady. "I want you to take my husband's teeth out.”

What is a dentists favorite number?

2th

What do you call a frog that fills cavities?

Dentist Hopper.

My dentist asked me if I brush regularly.

"Yes," I replied. "And if you don't believe me, ask our pet horse. We share a toothbrush."

My dentist said I need braces, but I needed to pay something upfront.

So I asked him "wait, do I need braces or a retainer?"

What’s a perverted dentists favourite part of an appointment?

The cavity search

What does a dentist call his x-rays?

Tooth pics

A man, crying in pain, complains to the dentist “It feels like my left jaw is possessed by the devil!”

“Oh! Then eat right and exorcise”

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old woman, was nervous

So he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves:

“Do you know how they make these gloves?” He asked.

“No, I don't.” She replied.

“Well.” He spoofed. “There's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in...

Dentist

Guy goes to the dentist, once on a chair he opens mouth and reveals that all of his teeth are gold

Dentist, confused, asks : What do you want me to do here?

Guy : Install the alarm system

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So a man walks into a Dentists office

he says "Man, my jaw really hurts when I chew, I think I have T.M.J."
The dentist goes "What the fuck bro T.M.I.!"
The man responds "NO I said T.M.J.! What kind of dentist are you?!"
"I'm an optometrist!" He screams back.
"Ohhhhhhhh, I thought your sign said dentist......Sorry man..........

I accidentally called my gynecologist thinking it was my dentist

The person on the other end was horrified when I asked about my routine cleaning

I have the worst dentist in the world.

He even got a little plaque to prove it.

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