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What did the Nazi dentist say on reddit?

Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

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A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled

The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man.

“No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects.

“I can’t do the gas thing – the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!” ...

Dentist: “When is the last time you flossed?”

Me: “You should know...you were there.”

Dentist and Patient

Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”


Patient: “OK.”


Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”

I've got a really good joke about dentists

Brace yourselves...

Just learned that a dentist a block away from me was arrested for dealing drugs. Shows you how wrong you can be about people. I had been going to him him for over ten years.

Never knew he was a dentist.

Dentists are going on strike

Brace yourselves

What award do you give a bad dentist?

A plaque.

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A man is at the dentist for a root canal.

The dentist, picking up a syringe, moved toward the patient.

“WHOAAA! What’s that for?” Asked the patient

“Well, this injection will numb the area around your tooth and keep you from feeling pain during the procedure” explained the dentist.

“No way! I am deathly afraid of needl...

Where do dentists move to when they retire?

Fluorida

Why did the Pharaoh visit the dentist?

Because Egypt his tooth...

Why did the QUEEN go to the dentist?

To get her teeth crowned!

What time did the man go to the dentist?

Tooth hurt-y!

Where is the best dentist for walruses?

Tuscaloosa

The dentist said that he could knock me out with gas, or he could use a big metallic rock.

I said ether/ore.

A guy is talking to a girl

A guy is talking to a girl :

"Everytime I see your smile, I want to take you to my place"

"Oh ! You think I'm pretty ?"

"No, I'm a dentist."

What do you call X-rays taken by a dentist?

Tooth-pics.

Why did the guru refuse novocaine at the dentist?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

My dentist told me that the way I brush I deserve a plaque.

Or I have plaque or something like that.

A dentist living near my house got arrested for selling drugs.

In today's world you can't trust anyone, I went to him many times in last 10 years, and I never know that he is a dentist.

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Now I'm not saying my dentist is a sex machine

I'm just saying he REALLY knows how to fill a cavity.

A guy and a girl meet at a bar.

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands.

The girl has been watching him and says "You must be a dent...

What's the worst thing about having a girlfriend who's a dentist?

She always spits instead of swallowing

Dentist: open up

Me: well it all started when my dad left

Dentist: no I meant..

Dentist assistant: Wait Ali let him finish

When my dentist reminded me about my wife’s sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed about it for a while...

Then I remembered...................me and my wife have different dentists…

What's a dentist's favourite dinosaur?

A Flossiraptor

My dentist told me I don't floss enough

So I started taking dance classes

A dentist shoots a kid doing a fortnite dance.

"You're bleeding because you were flossing"

Never lie to a Dentist

Because they can see through your teeth.

Patient : The composite you put in my teeth were too soft. I need something harder

Dentist : Im sorry I cant do that

Patient : What? Why not?

Dentist : I just cant. No hard fillings.

An old lady went to visit her dentist,

When it was her turn, she squatted in the chair and lowered her underpants.

The dentist freaked out and looked at her and said

“Madam, I’m not a gynaecologist.”

“I know” she replied,

“I need you take my husbands dentures out.”

I was honored at my dentist's office for "Most Infrequent Visits"

My reward was a gift card and plaque.

Why was Trump afraid to go to the dentist?

He heard there would be a molar investigation.

The dentist asked me if I had sensitive toothpaste at home.

I told her toothpaste and I don't talk about our feelings.





(PS: This was the actual conversation I had with my dentist just last night!)

My dentist has a TV on the ceiling so the patient can watch shows while he works

Netflix and Drill

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After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, Kevin remembered he had a dentist appointment.

He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash.

As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too.

The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth w...

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A man and his wife doing 69 and when they finish up he realises he still has to go to the dentist.

He then dashes to the bathroom to go and brush his teeth, constantly smelling his breath to make sure his breath doesn’t smell like his wife’s pussy. He eats some chewing gum and even takes mints with him. He arrives at the dentist and eats some more mints just to make sure.

He’s finally call...

Going to the dentist is like those movies where a character gets interrogated violently.

It’s pretty clear to them when you’re lying — and if you don’t come clean, you might lose a tooth.

Why couldn't the dentists family find the spot where he was buried?

Because there was no plaque on it.

A man goes to the dentist for his six-month exam.

The man tells the dentist, “My teeth are great. I never use mouthwash, rarely brush my teeth, never floss, never use a breath mint, and eat onions and garlic with just about every meal. I also never have bad breath.” The dentist agrees his teeth are decent, but he will need an operation.


...

What does Bill Cosby and a dentist have in common?

They knock you out before they drill your cavity.

A dentist tells a blonde that she needs braces.

The blonde says, "Why? I can walk just fine."

When the dentist explains that braces are for her teeth, she replies, "But my teeth don't walk."

A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office

The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it. We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and its 9:30 already. I don't have time ...

An odd dentist appointment

A woman is at a dentist appointment and is looking scared. The dentist, trying to alleviate some of the tension, asks if she knows how latex gloves are made. She replies, “No,” and he tells her men dip their hands in a vat of latex and wait for it to dry, effectively creating a latex glove. The woma...

Blonde to dentist: "What have you stopped for?"

Dentist: "Sorry, I've run out of gas."

Blonde: "Oh no, please don't tell me dentists use that line too!"

What do you call a depressed presenter at a dentist convention?

A blue tooth speaker

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I saw my dentist in a porno once.

Now I get nervous evertime he says, "open wide".

Santa goes to his dentist..

... complaining about his dentures wearing out.


"It seems like they're corroding, doc! What am I doing wrong?"


The dentist looked concerned. "Have there been any changes to your diet?"


"As a matter of fact," said Santa, "Mrs Claus has started making a wonderful holla...

A man and his wife go to the dentist to get a rotten tooth removed

The man tells the dentist, "Look doc, I don't want any painkillers. No gas, no needles, nothing. Just get in, yank out the tooth, and we'll get out of here.

"I wish more of my patients had your fortitude," says the doctor admiringly. "Which tooth is rotten?"

The man turns to his wif...

Today I was stopped mid-speech at my town's Dentists' conference

All I said was, "Ladies and Dentalmen, welcome!"

I have a Dentist appointment tomorrow ...

Its at 2.30 ...

What is a dentist's favorite soda?

All of them.

My wife who was a dentist passed away

I’ve loved and I’ve flossed.

I dated a dentist a while back,

She had the whitest teeth I ever came across.

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A dentist is terrified of women

A dentist's father raised his son alone since his wife had cheated on him. He always told his son to avoid women like the plague.

One day, a beautiful woman is shown in to the dentist's exam room. She is quite flirtatious with the dentist and makes no secret of the fact that she's interested....

My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth.

He says it’s accidental.

When did the dentist become a brain surgeon?

When he dropped the drill.

So I was talking to my dentist and I said...

“Shuaiawawalinooeso”

Dentist: “you need a crown”

Patient: “finally someone who understands me”

Why did frosty the snowman have to go to the dentist?

He has a very bad case of frost bite.

My dentist mocked me today, saying that even though he's much older than me, he has healthier teeth.

I said it must be because he has the better dentist.

A group of nagging dentists discovered and new chemical element.

It's called Phlosphorus.

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My grandma died peacefully, 93, in the chair. Nice way to go.

The dentist shit himself, though.

Why has a dentist’s job gotten so much easier?

All the kids are flossing all the time.

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

"You put in my husband's teeth last
week," she replied. "Now you have to
remove them."

Why do social justice warriors hate dentists?

Because they make teeth straight and white.

What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed it’s tooth?

The dentist

I've been to the dentist so many times!

I know the drill.

Al Gore's dentist had trouble doing a filling.

It was An Inconvenient Tooth.

A guy walks into the dentist,

Dentist asks “when was the last time you flossed?”

The guy responds “you should remember doc, you were there!”

What is a dentist favorite time?

2:30 (tooth hurty)

.

.

.

.

.My students thought I was funny

A dentist is watching The News

The news: flosing was the #1 activity of last year

*detnists searches up flossing on the web*

Dentist: SON OF A B**** 😡

I think my dentist is an alt righter

He thinks the best teeth are 'white and straight'.

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A former maths professor turned dentist shaved my infected tooth down into a single thin line...

I asked him, "What the hell is this?"

He replied, "A square root canal."

An old lady goes to the dentist,

She then begins taking off all her clothes and spreading her legs. The dentist says woahhhh I’m a dentist not a doctor, or a gynaecologist.! the woman replies yeah I know, I need my husbands teeth back.

A dentist and a manicurist decided to get divorced...

They fought tooth and nail.

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Things where Mechanics and Dentists are similar: drills, fluids, expensive without insurance. Things where Mechanics and Dentists Differ:

Dentists will at least wait until your asleep before they try and fuck you

What did the dentist name his high strength teeth aligners?

Braces for impact!

A lady goes to the dentist

The dentist looks in her mouth and says "that tooth needs to come out".

She says "oh no I'd rather have a baby than have a tooth pulled".

The dentist says "ok but make up your mind, I need to adjust the chair"

My account said I'm crazy for investing all my money in my idea of building a business that offers a boxing gym, a dentist, and a manicurist all under one roof.

But I told him I'm going to fight tooth and nail for it. Now if I could just think of a clever name for it, I'd be all set.

I got a set of false teeth put in but couldn't pay for them, so now I have to help out at the dentist's office

I guess that makes me an indentured servant

My dentist told me to “open up”

So I told him that I often have trouble putting peoples words into context. My dentist said “I can tell”

My dentist told me to stop eating burgers.

This left me in shock. "Why?" I said.
"Beacuse Im trying to fix your teeth and its in my way"

Dentist: This is gonna hurt a little. Me: Its ok. i can handle it.

Dentist: I've been sleeping with your mom.

A Guy Goes Into A Dentist's Office

A guy goes into a dentist's office.

The dentist says, "How can I help you?"

The guy says, "I'm a moth."

The dentist says, "Excuse me?"

The guy says again, "I'm a moth.

"The dentist says, "I think maybe you should be seeing a psychiatrist, not a dentist."

Th...

A man goes to the dentist

A man goes to the dentist. He tells the dentist, I have been having problems with my dentures. The dentist says let me see them. The dentist says they are all corroded. He asks the man, what on earth do you eat that would do this?
The man says I eat pretty normally but, I do enjoy hollandaise ...

My father is the strongest, most stoic person I've ever met. I've never seen him cry in my life even when he was fighting cancer. I took him to the dentist and when he's done he came out weeping like a baby. I asked him, "Dad, what happened?"

And he said, "The dentist gave me fillings."

A man walks into a dentist’s office

A man walks into a dentist’s office.

Receptionist: Can I help you?

Man: I think I’m a moth.

Receptionist: Well, if you think you’re a moth, why would you come to a dentist?

Man: The light was on.

I recently went to the dentist and he wanted to take a mould of my mouth. When he was done he didn't like the mould so he asked me to do it again.

I said "WHAT?! I usually make a good first impression..."

I left my dentist today

He looked disappointed, so I said "Hey, no hard fillings!"

I went to the dentist.

I sat down in the chair and he said, "Open up for me..."

"OK," I said, "my parents don't love me very much."

I went to the Dentist today

Do Ben Shapiro's facts care about my fillings?

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A dentist, doing his first extraction on a patient, was understandably nervous.

When he got the molar out, his hand shook, he lost his grip on the instrument, and the tooth dropped down into the patient's throat.

"Sorry," said the doctor. "You're outside my specialty now.... You should see a laryngologist! [throat specialist]." By the time the unfortunate victim got to ...

A Royal Dentist Joke

Two peasants are having a chat and one says "Why did the king go to the dentist's?"
The other peasant, confused, says "no I don't, please tell me"
The first peasant then hits him with "to get his teeth crowned!"

I got a good laugh out of my dentist this morning...

I cracked a tooth and I told my dentist:

"I didn't find the piece that came off, so I'm assuming I swallowed it. I'm really hoping it doesn't come back to bite me in the ass."

He started explaining how I shouldn't worry about it, paused, and then started laughing.

Why did the Pet Store owner call the dentist ?

Because his canine's were loose

I was listening to my wireless headphones while the dentist was working on my teeth.

He needed to tell me something so he pulled out my earbud.

It was a Bluetooth extraction.

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