Why did the Queen go to the dentist?

to protect her crown.

Dentist: When did you last floss?

Me: You should know, you did it.

My dentist removed the wrong tooth.

It was accidental.

I have the worst dentist in the world.

He even got a little plaque to prove it.

A man, crying in pain, complains to the dentist “It feels like my left jaw is possessed by the devil!”

“Oh! Then eat right and exorcise”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, Kevin remembered he had a dentist appointment.

He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash.
As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too.
The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide....

I want my dentist to know he's appreciated..

So every year I give him a little plaque.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is at the dentist for a root canal.

The dentist, picking up a syringe, moved toward the patient.

“WHOAAA! What’s that for?” Asked the patient

“Well, this injection will numb the area around your tooth and keep you from feeling pain during the procedure” explained the dentist.

“No way! I am deathly afraid of needl...

The FBI Just raided a local dentist office

They are currently performing a cavity search

The dentist says my teeth are like a string of pearls

each one has a hole through it!

When’s the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth Hurty

What is a dentist's favourite time of the day?


[OC] My dentist told me that he needed to look for cavities.

I just wish he had put a glove on before he stuck his finger up my ass!

What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist?

“Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?”

What is the bwst time to go to the dentist


An old lady went to visit her dentist

When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs.

The dentist said, "Excuse me madam, you must be mistaken. I'm not your gynecologist."

"I know," said the old lady. "I want you to take my husband's teeth out.

Why did the two dentists get married?

Because they were so enameled of each other!

A local dentist was just arrested for dealing drugs.

To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I’ve been going to him for ten years and never knew he was a dentist.

What did the lazy dentist say to his patient with crooked teeth?

Brace yourself.

What do Dentists and the TSA have in common?

Cavity checks.

Left my comb at the dentist

now it's a fine toothed comb.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Nazi dentist say on reddit?

Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

Dentist: "This is going to hurt a little!"

Me: "Ok"

Dentist: "I've been sleeping with your girlfriend for a while now"

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?

The drill slipped out his hand

I've got a really good joke about dentists

Brace yourselves...

Dentists are going on strike

Brace yourselves

The dentist said that he could knock me out with gas, or he could use a big metallic rock.

I said ether/ore.

Did you hear about the dentist who beat a murder trial?

He used the floss in the system

Why did the Pharaoh visit the dentist?

Because Egypt his tooth...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled

The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man.

“No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects.

“I can’t do the gas thing – the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!” ...

Al Gore had a sore tooth so went to see his dentist

"Jim", he said, "I have An Inconvenient Tooth"

Where do dentists move to when they retire?


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Now I'm not saying my dentist is a sex machine

I'm just saying he REALLY knows how to fill a cavity.

A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office

The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it. We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and its 9:30 already. I don't have time ...

I went to the dentist...

Dentist:*looks into my mouth*


Me: “bro you were there”

Why did the guru refuse novocaine at the dentist?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Farmer goes to the dentist.

Why did the farmer go to the dentist?

Because he had sorghum.

When my dentist reminded me about my wife’s sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed about it for a while...

Then I remembered...................me and my wife have different dentists…

Dentist: open up

Me: well it all started when my dad left

Dentist: no I meant..

Dentist assistant: Wait Ali let him finish

What do you call X-rays taken by a dentist?


What's a dentist's favourite dinosaur?

A Flossiraptor

The dentist asked me if I had sensitive toothpaste at home.

I told her toothpaste and I don't talk about our feelings.

(PS: This was the actual conversation I had with my dentist just last night!)

Why was Trump afraid to go to the dentist?

He heard there would be a molar investigation.

Santa goes to his dentist..

... complaining about his dentures wearing out.

"It seems like they're corroding, doc! What am I doing wrong?"

The dentist looked concerned. "Have there been any changes to your diet?"

"As a matter of fact," said Santa, "Mrs Claus has started making a wonderful holla...

My dentist told me that the way I brush I deserve a plaque.

Or I have plaque or something like that.

What's the worst thing about having a girlfriend who's a dentist?

She always spits instead of swallowing

A dentist shoots a kid doing a fortnite dance.

"You're bleeding because you were flossing"

A dentist living near my house got arrested for selling drugs.

In today's world you can't trust anyone, I went to him many times in last 10 years, and I never know that he is a dentist.

I was honored at my dentist's office for "Most Infrequent Visits"

My reward was a gift card and plaque.

Never lie to a Dentist

Because they can see through your teeth.

My dentist has a TV on the ceiling so the patient can watch shows while he works

Netflix and Drill

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his wife doing 69 and when they finish up he realises he still has to go to the dentist.

He then dashes to the bathroom to go and brush his teeth, constantly smelling his breath to make sure his breath doesn’t smell like his wife’s pussy. He eats some chewing gum and even takes mints with him. He arrives at the dentist and eats some more mints just to make sure.

He’s finally call...

A man and his wife go to the dentist to get a rotten tooth removed

The man tells the dentist, "Look doc, I don't want any painkillers. No gas, no needles, nothing. Just get in, yank out the tooth, and we'll get out of here.

"I wish more of my patients had your fortitude," says the doctor admiringly. "Which tooth is rotten?"

The man turns to his wif...

My dentist told me I don't floss enough

So I started taking dance classes

What does Bill Cosby and a dentist have in common?

They knock you out before they drill your cavity.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw my dentist in a porno once.

Now I get nervous evertime he says, "open wide".

Going to the dentist is like those movies where a character gets interrogated violently.

It’s pretty clear to them when you’re lying — and if you don’t come clean, you might lose a tooth.

A man goes to the dentist for his six-month exam.

The man tells the dentist, “My teeth are great. I never use mouthwash, rarely brush my teeth, never floss, never use a breath mint, and eat onions and garlic with just about every meal. I also never have bad breath.” The dentist agrees his teeth are decent, but he will need an operation.


An odd dentist appointment

A woman is at a dentist appointment and is looking scared. The dentist, trying to alleviate some of the tension, asks if she knows how latex gloves are made. She replies, “No,” and he tells her men dip their hands in a vat of latex and wait for it to dry, effectively creating a latex glove. The woma...

Why do social justice warriors hate dentists?

Because they make teeth straight and white.

A man walks into a dentists...

The dentist asks how he can help. "Well, this is going to sound strange. But I believe I'm a moth..."
"Ok..." Says the dentist... "I'm a dentist, though... I'm not sure how I can help... Why did you come in here?"
"Well, your light was on!"

My dentist mocked me today, saying that even though he's much older than me, he has healthier teeth.

I said it must be because he has the better dentist.

I have a Dentist appointment tomorrow ...

Its at 2.30 ...

What do you call a depressed presenter at a dentist convention?

A blue tooth speaker

A woman smiling

Not my joke but wanted to post it here. A bit dry but I find it funny.

At a bar a woman keeps smiling at a man. Finally the man walk over to her.
Man: I would like to ask you to come over to my place.
Woman: Are you trying to pick me up?
Man: No. I'm a dentist.

A dentist tells a blonde that she needs braces.

The blonde says, "Why? I can walk just fine."

When the dentist explains that braces are for her teeth, she replies, "But my teeth don't walk."

So I was talking to my dentist and I said...


Blonde to dentist: "What have you stopped for?"

Dentist: "Sorry, I've run out of gas."

Blonde: "Oh no, please don't tell me dentists use that line too!"

I dated a dentist a while back,

She had the whitest teeth I ever came across.

What is a dentist's favorite soda?

All of them.

Why couldn't the dentists family find the spot where he was buried?

Because there was no plaque on it.

What's the first thing a monster eats after he has had his teeth checked?

The dentist.

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

"You put in my husband's teeth last
week," she replied. "Now you have to
remove them."

My wife who was a dentist passed away

I’ve loved and I’ve flossed.

Why did frosty the snowman have to go to the dentist?

He has a very bad case of frost bite.

Why has a dentist’s job gotten so much easier?

All the kids are flossing all the time.

Dentist: “you need a crown”

Patient: “finally someone who understands me”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dentist is terrified of women

A dentist's father raised his son alone since his wife had cheated on him. He always told his son to avoid women like the plague.

One day, a beautiful woman is shown in to the dentist's exam room. She is quite flirtatious with the dentist and makes no secret of the fact that she's interested....

What is a dentist favorite time?

2:30 (tooth hurty)





.My students thought I was funny

A dentist is watching The News

The news: flosing was the #1 activity of last year

*detnists searches up flossing on the web*

Dentist: SON OF A B**** 😡


At school one day, Little Johnny's teacher asks the class to use the word "contagious" in a sentence...

Cindy raises her hand. "Yes, Cindy?" She answers, "I was at the dentist's office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contag...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A former maths professor turned dentist shaved my infected tooth down into a single thin line...

I asked him, "What the hell is this?"

He replied, "A square root canal."

What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed it’s tooth?

The dentist

I've been to the dentist so many times!

I know the drill.

I think my dentist is an alt righter

He thinks the best teeth are 'white and straight'.

A guy walks into the dentist,

Dentist asks “when was the last time you flossed?”

The guy responds “you should remember doc, you were there!”

A lady goes to the dentist

The dentist looks in her mouth and says "that tooth needs to come out".

She says "oh no I'd rather have a baby than have a tooth pulled".

The dentist says "ok but make up your mind, I need to adjust the chair"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pilot: the plane is going down!

**Me:** *[texting my dentist]* I've never really flossed

**Pilot:** false alarm everyone.

**Me:** *[rushing to cock pit]* no no no this thing needs to go down!

A group of nagging dentists discovered and new chemical element.

It's called Phlosphorus.

A dentist and a manicurist decided to get divorced...

They fought tooth and nail.

My dentist told me to “open up”

So I told him that I often have trouble putting peoples words into context. My dentist said “I can tell”

My account said I'm crazy for investing all my money in my idea of building a business that offers a boxing gym, a dentist, and a manicurist all under one roof.

But I told him I'm going to fight tooth and nail for it. Now if I could just think of a clever name for it, I'd be all set.

I got a set of false teeth put in but couldn't pay for them, so now I have to help out at the dentist's office

I guess that makes me an indentured servant

I left my dentist today

He looked disappointed, so I said "Hey, no hard fillings!"

A man and a woman were traveling in a train.Woman : Every time you smile,feel like inviting you to my place. Man: Awwww ... Are you single?

Woman: No. I'm a dentist.

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