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After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, Kevin remembered he had a dentist appointment.

He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash.
As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too.
The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide....

Did you know mythological creatures have their own dentist's office?

It's true, I saw it today and they were suuuuuuper busy! The waiting room was packed, and every time the orderly would come out to call in another patient, the half-man-half-horse would get all excited; "is it my turn now? oh, pick me, pick me!" and all that jazz. Of course, every time it was actual...

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What do you get when you take laxatives at the dentist?

Shits and giggles

Dentist always dumb questions like “when’s the last time you flossed?”

Like bro you were there wtf

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?

The drill slipped.

What is a dentist's favorite video game?

Enamel Crossing!

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old woman, was nervous

So he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves:

“Do you know how they make these gloves?” He asked.

“No, I don't.” She replied.

“Well.” He spoofed. “There's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in...

A guy goes into a dentist's office. The dentist says, "How can I help you?"

The guy says, "I am a moth."

The dentist says, "Excuse me?"

The guy again says, "I am a moth."

The dentist says, "I think maybe you should be seeing a psychiatrist, not a dentist."

The guy says, "I saw a psychiatrist."

The dentist says, "So what are you doing here?...

Why dentist don't like PHD holders ?

cause people call them doctors.

Being a dentist was useful professionally.

It opened up a lot of jaws

Why was the dentist investigated by the Securities & Exchange Commission?

For incisor trading!

My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex. We laughed & laughed.

Then I remembered that my wife & I have different dentists.

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.



"Eighty dollars," the dentist says.
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says.
"Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an anesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60."
"That's still too expensive," the man says.
"Okay," says the de...

What do you call a boat full of dentists?

A tooth ferry

I was dating a dentist.

I was really confused when she recommended Oral-B.

My dentist removed the wrong tooth.

It was accidental.

Dentist: “This is going to hurt a little"

Patient: “ OK "

Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”

Did you hear about the golfer that went to the dentist for a filling?

He got a hole in one.

Dentist: You need a crown

Patient: Finally somebody who understands me

What is a holiday destination recommended by dentists?

Fluorida

What did the dentist say when he had to pull a tooth?

"I'm sorry for your floss."

Lately I’ve been looking for love in r/dentists...

Because according to my ex, dating me is like pulling teeth

Dentist: "You have three cavities. Do you want to have them all filled today?"

"Woah woah, we just met, let's start with fixing my teeth, then we'll see about that"

What’s a perverted dentists favourite part of an appointment?

The cavity search

Why did the Queen go to the dentist?

to protect her crown.

Dentists be like :

2019: "we are doctors too "
2020: " I'm just a dentist"

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A 40-year-old dentist explains to his new girlfriend why he's remained a virgin.

"My dad said there were teeth in there!"

She strips off and says "Look. No teeth."

Shocked, he replies, "No wonder with those gums!"

What is a dentists favorite number?

2th

What's the best time to go to the dentist?

2:30

I accidentally called my gynecologist thinking it was my dentist

The person on the other end was horrified when I asked about my routine cleaning

An old woman walked into a dentist's office

took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week,"

she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

I told my kids I was gonna take them to that place with the Ferris wheel and cotton candy, but instead I took them to the dentist

They said it wasn’t fair

My dentist told me to open up

I told him I often have trouble putting other people’s words into context

Why do social justice warriors hate dentists?

Because they make teeth straight and white.

Ugh I have a dentist appointment tomorrow

It's at 2:30

True story. I didn't notice it was funny until my gf told me

Why didn't the dentist let Jack Nicholson keep his extracted wisdom teeth?

He can't HANDLE the tooth!

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A dentist, doing his first extraction on a patient was nervous

When he got the molar out, his hand shook, he lost his grip on the instrument, and the tooth dropped into patient's throat

Dentist: Sorry, you are outside my specialty now, you should see laryngologist (throat specialist)

By the time patient went to laryngologist, tooth had worked its ...

Most people don’t realize how similar the jobs of dentists and correction officers really are.

They both mainly consist of cavity searches.

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally charge."

"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients."

A man, crying in pain, complains to the dentist “It feels like my left jaw is possessed by the devil!”

“Oh! Then eat right and exorcise”

I was prescribed a pain killer from my dentist but I found it difficult to get the lid off...

It was called Tryopenin

Dentist: Open up please.

Me: sometimes I get sad...

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What can a swan do that a dentist can't?

Stick its bill up its ass.

What floor is the dentist office on?

The 2th floor

A man with dentures goes to the dentist.

He explains to the dentist that his dentures don't feel right anymore. The Dentists sits him down, does a brief examination and exclaims, "what in the world? Your whole partial plate is corroded and like it was eaten away by some chemical. " The Dentist asks, "are you on a weird diet or somethin...

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A man is at the dentist for a root canal.

The dentist, picking up a syringe, moved toward the patient.

“WHOAAA! What’s that for?” Asked the patient

“Well, this injection will numb the area around your tooth and keep you from feeling pain during the procedure” explained the dentist.

“No way! I am deathly afraid of needl...

I want my dentist to know he's appreciated..

So every year I give him a little plaque.

I have the worst dentist in the world.

He even got a little plaque to prove it.

A ladu goes to the dentist..

...he looks in her mouth and says "that tooth needs to come out".

She says "oh no I'd rather have a baby than have a tooth pulled".

He says "ok but make up your mind I need to adjust the chair"

A dentist opened an office on a boat. What was the boat's name?

The *Tooth Ferry*.

Why do dentists wear a mask?

Because otherwise you could see them smiling.

Just learned that a dentist a block away from me was arrested for dealing drugs. Shows you how wrong you can be about people. I had been going to him him for over ten years.

Never knew he was a dentist.

My dentist asked me when the last time that I flossed my teeth was.

I told him "Well you should know, you were there!"

At the dentist's

Patient : How much it will be for tooth extraction ?
Dentist : 250$.
P : That much for a few minutes of work ?
D : If you want, I'll extract it very very slowly.

What do dentists & the TSA have in common?

Cavity Searches

A dentist noticed his patient had a large gold tooth. He said, “Where did you get the gold?”

The patient replied, “Its mine.”

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What did the Nazi dentist say on reddit?

Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

My dentist asked me if I floss between meals

"No, usually between teeth" I replied.

I was in the dentist's chair.

He looked at my shoes and said, "Very nice loafers there, very nice."

"Thanks," I said.

Then he looked at my leather bag. "Love the bag, too. Very stylish, very nice."

"Thanks," I said.

He looked out the window while I rinsed my mouth out, and said, "That car is divine. I...

A man bursts into a dentist’s waiting room.

“Oooh, ooooh, I’m a moth, I’m a moth!” he exclaims. 

 “This is dentist, not a psychiatrist,” says the receptionist, “why did you come in here?“ 

 “Your light was on,” says the man.

What is it called when a dentist checks your teeth?

A cavity search.

An old lady went to visit her dentist

When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs.

The dentist said, "Excuse me madam, you must be mistaken. I'm not your gynecologist."

"I know," said the old lady. "I want you to take my husband's teeth out.

I've got a really good joke about dentists

Brace yourselves...

[OC] My dentist told me that he needed to look for cavities.

I just wish he had put a glove on before he stuck his finger up my ass!

Why don't dentists like iPhones?

They can't root them.

Why did the two dentists get married?

Because they were so enameled of each other!

A man went to the dentist to get his teeth checked for cavities

The Dentist: "Woah, that's a HUGE cavity - a HUGE cavity!"

The Man: "Enough, Doc, I heard you the first time!"

The Dentist: "Sorry, that was an echo."

Dentists are going on strike

Brace yourselves

The dentist says my teeth are like a string of pearls

each one has a hole through it!

Have You Ever Been Guilty Of Looking At Others Your Own Age And Thinking, Surely I Can't Look That Old. Well.... You'll Love This One.

My Name Is Alice Smith, And I Was Sitting In The Waiting Room For My First Appointment With A New Dentist.

I Noticed His Dds Diploma, Which Bore His Full Name. Suddenly, I Remembered A Tall, Handsome, Dark-haired Boy With The Same Name Had Been In My High School Class Some 30-odd Years Ago. ...

The dentist said that he could knock me out with gas, or he could use a big metallic rock.

I said ether/ore.

Farmer goes to the dentist.

Why did the farmer go to the dentist?

Because he had sorghum.

Left my comb at the dentist

now it's a fine toothed comb.

I went to the dentist...

Dentist:*looks into my mouth*

Dentist: “WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH”

Me: “bro you were there”

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Now I'm not saying my dentist is a sex machine

I'm just saying he REALLY knows how to fill a cavity.

What did the lazy dentist say to his patient with crooked teeth?

Brace yourself.

Why did the Pharaoh visit the dentist?

Because Egypt his tooth...

I dated a dentist a while back,

She had the whitest teeth I ever came across.

Yesterday, I paid a random stranger to put their hands inside my mouth.

Y’know, the dentist?

What do you call X-rays taken by a dentist?

Tooth-pics.

My dentist mocked me today, saying that even though he's much older than me, he has healthier teeth.

I said it must be because he has the better dentist.

My dentist told me that the way I brush I deserve a plaque.

Or I have plaque or something like that.

A dentist shoots a kid doing a fortnite dance.

"You're bleeding because you were flossing"

What's a dentist's favourite dinosaur?

A Flossiraptor

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A dentist is terrified of women

A dentist's father raised his son alone since his wife had cheated on him. He always told his son to avoid women like the plague.

One day, a beautiful woman is shown in to the dentist's exam room. She is quite flirtatious with the dentist and makes no secret of the fact that she's interested....

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A man and his wife doing 69 and when they finish up he realises he still has to go to the dentist.

He then dashes to the bathroom to go and brush his teeth, constantly smelling his breath to make sure his breath doesn’t smell like his wife’s pussy. He eats some chewing gum and even takes mints with him. He arrives at the dentist and eats some more mints just to make sure.

He’s finally call...

An odd dentist appointment

A woman is at a dentist appointment and is looking scared. The dentist, trying to alleviate some of the tension, asks if she knows how latex gloves are made. She replies, “No,” and he tells her men dip their hands in a vat of latex and wait for it to dry, effectively creating a latex glove. The woma...

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