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A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled The dentist pulls out the novocaine freezing needle to inject the man. “No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects.

“I can’t do the gas thing – the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!”

The dentist then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill.

“No,” the patient says, “I am fine with pills.”...

I went to a new Dentist to get some dental work done.

He said he's going to put me under and I'll feel a small prick in my mouth.

This experience left a bad taste in my mouth.

My cousin told me it's totally safe to get a dental piercing

Turns out he was lying through his teeth.

Why's it so hard to solve a redneck murder?

Cause the DNA's all the same and there ain't no dental records.

Yesterday I went in for my yearly dental exam.

I had forgotten my dentist had retired last year so I was a little surprised to see a new dentist waiting for me who, come to find out, had just graduated from dental school in russia. After exchanging greetings I sat down and he began his exam. As he was working I casually looked over at his wall d...

At what time to people most commonly get dental injuries treated?

Two thirty.

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What the tooth fairy looks like

This came from the book “chicken soup for the dental soul” my dentist had it in the waiting room.

I’m quoting from memory.

A 5 year old girl just lost a baby tooth and the dentist was explaining to her that if she put her tooth under the pillow at night that the tooth fairy would come ...

Why are murders so difficult to solve in Alabama?

All the DNA matches and there are no dental records

2020 has been a great year for me, personally. My dental hygiene is better than ever!

I got tired of smelling my own breath through this damn MASK!

I'm filling in for my friend today ...

His patients won't be happy when they learn that I never went to dental school.

How many dental hygienists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, but that's only because you're not flossing enough.

My local dental hygienist passed away last week.

A plaque was put up in her honour, but it kept getting removed.

Blizzard Entertainment will need to stop offering Dental benefits

All their employees are way too afraid to open their mouths

To celebrate my cake day, here’s a joke that gave me a giggle

An old lady walks into a dental surgery, sits down in the chair, lifts her knees up and spreads her legs.

Dentist: ‘Miss, I believe you’re in the wrong room’.

Woman: ‘You put my husbands new teeth in last week. I’m here to have them removed’.

Who decided to call it a dental xray

and not a tooth pic?

What do you call a Gungan with bad dental hygiene?

Tartar Binks

Dental Forms

At the dentist's office for oral surgery, I was handed a couple of forms to fill out. As I signed the first one, I joked with the receptionist, "Does this say that even if you pull my head completely off, I can't sue you?"

"No, that's the next sheet. This one says you still have to pay us."

A man phones a dental clinic to inquire about the price of removing a tooth

"Hello. How much is it to get a tooth removed", asks the man


"That'll be $700, it includes anesthetic, tooth extraction by myself, and assistance from a nurse", replies the dentist

"That's a bit much for me, how much if the nurse extracts it?"

"Well I guess we could do that...

My dental hygienist is so hot

I eat a full box of oreos in the waiting room before having her clean my teeth.

Why are crimes in the 'Deep South' so hard to solve?

There's no dental records & all the DNA matches...

A man and his corroded dental appliance..

A man returned for the third time to the dentist to get his dental appliance replaced due to corrosion.

The dentist asked if he ate a highly acid diet, or was fond of citrus, etc.

The man replied that his wife made an excellent holllandaise sauce that was so good he put it on just abou...

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When I was ten I swallowed some dental floss. When it came out it was all tied up.

I shit you knot.

My roommate is really dedicated to dental hygiene

just last night I heard her using an electric toothbrush for what seemed like an hour

I once dated a dental hygienist

She had the whitest teeth I ever came across.

Crude Dental Work (In Australian)

Man on island, has bad tooth. Needs tooth removed. Friend with an axe is like, I know what to do mate. Uses axe to try to remove tooth but unintentionally knocks out all his teeth. First guy is like, Ouch-aroo mate, that is a 10/10 on the pain scale. Axe guy says, 'Hey man, it was Axe-y Dental'

One benefit to being in the KKK is their great dental plan-

\- it keeps them white.

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A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school.

A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school. After graduating he took a job in a dentist office. One day a familiar looking woman arrived for a cleaning. Upon examination, he couldn’t help but notice her extremely white teeth. Suddenly he realized how h...

What’s brown and very bad for your dental health?

A baseball bat.

My mom was always obsessed with dental hygiene...

...she would always take her electric toothbrush to bed and brush her teeth all night!

A mans wife goes in for a dental checkup.

After the appointment the doctor comes out to greet the man.

The man says "how was it?"

The doctor replies "Your wife has a lot of cavities that need to be filled."

The man replies "that must be hard on you."

The doctor replies "Not really I get paid every month to dril...

Did you know I'm dating a dental hygienist?

She has the cleanest teeth I've ever come across.

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Chris Hemsworth goes to a bar

He spots a nice looking lady and gets chatting to her, she happens to have dental braces which affects her speech only slightly.
He asks her “Could I buy you a drink?”
She replies “If you mutht”
They chat and drink into the early hours.
Chris then says “I have a room at the Radisson do...

A guy walks into a dental office...

and he says to the dentist, "I think I'm a moth."

The dentist says "Well you should see a psychiatrist!"

The man replies "I already am."

So the dentist asks, "Well what are you doing here then?"

The man says "your light was on."

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Dental [Long][NSFW]

A father stops to talk to his son before leaving the house forever. He says, "Son, I'm going to give you some advice that will serve you well throughout your life. Stay away from women. They are nothing but trouble.... Also, they have a hole between there legs with teeth. If you put anything in that...

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I usually scream and curse a lot in the dental clinic

Just to fuck with my patients.

Ever since quarantine, my pubes have gotten really long,

But think about all the money I've saved on dental floss.

9/10 dentists recommend good dental hygiene...

The other dentist is from England.

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Good dental hygiene is so important.

My last girlfriend had the nicest teeth I've ever cum across.

[OC] If you ever feel like you need drugs during dental surgery...

...just say NO.

"Thanks for the gold, kind stranger"

I told as I was taking away his dental implant.

What time should you book dental appointments for?

2:30









































































...

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Quick 69 and Then Off To The Dentist

After a excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend , Jerry remembered he had a dentist Appointment

He was afraid the dentist would smell Pussy on his breath! So he brushed his teeth several times Gargled ½ a liter of Listerine and used dental floss as well
As he arrived at the dentist ...

I'm looking for a "friend with benefits"

Health Care at a minimum. Dental would be nice but not required.

You brush your teeth at night to keep your teeth...

You brush them in the morning to keep your friends.

Credit of this joke goes to my dental hygienist

What is another name for a dental assistant?

A flossitute.

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Larry got the new Secretary

**Garry:** Your New Secretary is very Sexy....

**Larry:** Thanks! she is actually a Robot, Named Doreen, if you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types letters. Will Work as long as you like, no complaining, no sick days, no medical, no de...

A Police Officer Knocks on a Woman's Front Door

A police officers knock on a woman's front door.

Woman: "Hello officer!"

Officer: "Hi mam, I come bearing grim news I'm afraid"

Woman: "and what's that now?!"

Officer: "Well I regret to inform you that your husband and young son's bodies were found. Luckily they both were...

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Three men, Joe, Bro, and Buddy, all lived in a small town.

One day, Joe went hunting alone, and for the next few days no one heard from him. About a week afterwards, a body was found and brought into the coroner’s office.

The coroner, after thoroughly examining the body, needed a positive identification in order to verify that the body was indeed Jo...

Starting salary.

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what ...

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did you hear about the buddhist who refused novocain during a root-canal?

he wanted to transcend dental medication.

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Do you have a pen?

I was in the Texas Rose last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, big old heifer came up behind me, and slapped me on the ass. She said, “Hey sexy, how about giving me your number.” I looked at her said, ”Have you got a pen.” She said, “I sure do." I said, “ Well, you better get b...

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Jean

I once knew a dental nurse who loved giving blowjobs and smoking weed.

She was known as oral high Jean.

My grandmother died recently

She was found keeled over in her kitchen, her dentures stained with foods high in antioxidants.

The doctors said it was a heart attack but I know better...

I reckon it was an oxi-dental overdose.

An Interesting Proposal

So I drive around the city a lot, see a lot of stuff, ya know, trees and whatnot. Anyways, I just passed a homeless lady who was holding a sign that said " widowed, single, need help, kisses included."

What an interesting sign, so unique, so confident, so single...

So she came up to my...

What is Mario's favorite type of insurance?

DentalDentalDental

God was creating all the countries and it was the United Kingdom’s turn.

He turned to his angels and said, “ They shall live on a miserable damp island, they’ll barely get along with each other and be constantly on each other’s throats if not dealing with other countries, have bland food, the worst dental hygiene and have this insufferable fantasy about their country bei...

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A witcher hypnotises a vagrant and mistakenly knocks out his teeth.

It was Axii Dental.

Turns out my co-worker and I are getting our teeth checked the same day

Isn't that coinciDENTAL?






I'll see myself out

How did the man lose his teeth?

AcciDENTALly

So I was talking with a dentist...

...and I asked if he had any crazy stories from his years in practice.

"Yes, actually. One time I cut a man's arm off."

"What, how!?"

"I could trouble you with the details, but I really just did it acciDENTALly."

Person A: "Don't mess with me, I have a lawyer on retainer!"

Person B: "I'll do what I want. You and your cheap lawyer don't scare me. I'll just hire a more expensive lawyer, one that doesn't need any dental work!"

My Dad has the heart of a lion

and so much hate mail he had to shut down his dental practice

A man works at an Aquarium

Technically it was a zoo/aquarium, but they got more people coming in for their aquatic animals, so they called it an aquarium.

Most notably among those, were their seals. The seals had been taught to do tricks at another aquarium before they'd been moved over. But at the time the aquarium ha...

I killed a dentist with an axe but only got charged with manslaughter.

My lawyer said it was an axe-a-dental death.

Fred

A man gets pulled over by a cop for speeding.

The cop asks him, "what is your name?"

The man replies "Fred."

The cop asks "What's your last name."

"I don't have one."

The cop is unsure of how this is, so he asks "Why don't you have a last name?"

The man begi...

As the result of an accident, a man lost teeth and had to have a partial plate made.

His dentist built a standard dental plate and fitted it into his mouth and it worked just fine.

In three months, the man was back at his dentist. The dentist looked in his mouth, and the plate he had just put in was so deteriorated it was beyond repair.

The dentist was shocked that it ...

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Three best friends have known eachother since high school...

They ended up going to the same college together, and getting a job at the same factory together. Bill, Jacob, and Mark were always known to hangout together, they were inseparable.

One day, the factory catches on fire, and once all of the factory workers regroup, they do accountability. Two...

Interesting Title Here

Pun time!!

Q: What do you call dental x-rays? A: Tooth pics.

Q: What do you call a group of babies? A: An infantry.

Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? A: He pasta away.

Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose.

Q: What do yo...

The mental hospital is having the yearly inspection.

The general manager walks with the inspector on the courtyard while telling him about how the new garden creates a quiet and safe space for the patients.
On the distance they see an disheveled old man dragging a toothbrush over the grass, tied with a piece of dental floss.
"What's ailing t...

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