The 62+ Best Dental Jokes

This dude goes to his dental appointment

The dentist is flossing his teeth.

Dentist: "So, when's the last time you flossed your teeth?"

Dude: "Bro!!! You don't remember?!"

"You were there!"

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A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled

The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man.

“No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects.

“I can’t do the gas thing – the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!” ...

I dated a dental assistant once

She had the whitest teeth I’ve ever come across.

Told my folks I’ve got a dental appt today…

Dad asked if it was at two:thirty

Nobody knew she had a dental implant

until it slipped out in conversation.

My cousin told me it's totally safe to get a dental piercing

Turns out he was lying through his teeth.

Yesterday I went in for my yearly dental exam.

I had forgotten my dentist had retired last year so I was a little surprised to see a new dentist waiting for me who, come to find out, had just graduated from dental school in russia. After exchanging greetings I sat down and he began his exam. As he was working I casually looked over at his wall d...

My local dental hygienist passed away last week.

A plaque was put up in her honour, but it kept getting removed.

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When I was ten I swallowed some dental floss. When it came out it was all tied up.

I shit you knot.

Imagine America's best dentists competing against each other in fixing dental problems

We'll call the show "Top Gum"

Why do frat boys major in dental health?

Because they wanna see what that mouth do

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources officer asked a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “and what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”

The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, fourteen paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years? Say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow!! ...

Why are murders in Kentucky so hard to solve?

Because there are no dental records and all the DNA matches.

Dennis lives in Washington DC, and is working as a dental assistant while he gets his degree in chemical engineering...

... He plays tennis every week with his professor, but is always playing pranks and getting into trouble during their matches.

One fine day in late April, after their weekly tennis match, Dennis and his professor are walking past the White House when they see through the raggedy old fence tha...

Dental Forms

At the dentist's office for oral surgery, I was handed a couple of forms to fill out. As I signed the first one, I joked with the receptionist, "Does this say that even if you pull my head completely off, I can't sue you?"

"No, that's the next sheet. This one says you still have to pay us."

I asked my advisor why he didn’t recommend me for dental school.

He said I wouldn’t be able to handle the tooth.

2020 has been a great year for me, personally. My dental hygiene is better than ever!

I got tired of smelling my own breath through this damn MASK!

What do you call a Gungan with bad dental hygiene?

Tartar Binks

Blizzard Entertainment will need to stop offering Dental benefits

All their employees are way too afraid to open their mouths

A man and his corroded dental appliance..

A man returned for the third time to the dentist to get his dental appliance replaced due to corrosion.

The dentist asked if he ate a highly acid diet, or was fond of citrus, etc.

The man replied that his wife made an excellent holllandaise sauce that was so good he put it on just abou...

My roommate is really dedicated to dental hygiene

just last night I heard her using an electric toothbrush for what seemed like an hour

Who decided to call it a dental xray

and not a tooth pic?

Crude Dental Work (In Australian)

Man on island, has bad tooth. Needs tooth removed. Friend with an axe is like, I know what to do mate. Uses axe to try to remove tooth but unintentionally knocks out all his teeth. First guy is like, Ouch-aroo mate, that is a 10/10 on the pain scale. Axe guy says, 'Hey man, it was Axe-y Dental'

What’s brown and very bad for your dental health?

A baseball bat.

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Dental [Long][NSFW]

A father stops to talk to his son before leaving the house forever. He says, "Son, I'm going to give you some advice that will serve you well throughout your life. Stay away from women. They are nothing but trouble.... Also, they have a hole between there legs with teeth. If you put anything in that...

My mom was always obsessed with dental hygiene...

...she would always take her electric toothbrush to bed and brush her teeth all night!

A guy walks into a dental office...

and he says to the dentist, "I think I'm a moth."

The dentist says "Well you should see a psychiatrist!"

The man replies "I already am."

So the dentist asks, "Well what are you doing here then?"

The man says "your light was on."

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A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school.

A young man worked in the porn industry to pay his way through dental hygienist school. After graduating he took a job in a dentist office. One day a familiar looking woman arrived for a cleaning. Upon examination, he couldn’t help but notice her extremely white teeth. Suddenly he realized how h...

One benefit to being in the KKK is their great dental plan-

\- it keeps them white.

A mans wife goes in for a dental checkup.

After the appointment the doctor comes out to greet the man.

The man says "how was it?"

The doctor replies "Your wife has a lot of cavities that need to be filled."

The man replies "that must be hard on you."

The doctor replies "Not really I get paid every month to dril...

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I usually scream and curse a lot in the dental clinic

Just to fuck with my patients.

[OC] If you ever feel like you need drugs during dental surgery...

...just say NO.

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Good dental hygiene is so important.

My last girlfriend had the nicest teeth I've ever cum across.

9/10 dentists recommend good dental hygiene...

The other dentist is from England.

What time are most dental appointments scheduled for?

Tooth hurty.

When you said “friends with benefits”…

… I assumed you offered a dental plan.

I referred to my dentist as an orthodontist by mistake.

It was acci*dental*.

So I was talking with a dentist...

...and I asked if he had any crazy stories from his years in practice.

"Yes, actually. One time I cut a man's arm off."

"What, how!?"

"I could trouble you with the details, but I really just did it acciDENTALly."

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jerry has a 69

After a excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend , Jerry remembered he had a dentist Appointment

He was afraid the dentist would smell Pussy on his breath! So he brushed his teeth several times
Gargled ½ a litre of Listerine used dental floss as well

As he arrived at the dent...

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How I lost my Teeth

I was in my local pub last night enjoying a nice cold pint of beer, when this butt ugly fat bird came up to me and slapped me in the back, and said “how about giving me your number handsome”

I looked at her and asked “Do you have a pen” “sure!” She said.

So I said, “ Well you bett...

You know you’re getting old when if a lady wants you to pay for her “implants.”

She means “dental” implants.

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Three men, Joe, Bro, and Buddy, all lived in a small town.

One day, Joe went hunting alone, and for the next few days no one heard from him. About a week afterwards, a body was found and brought into the coroner’s office.

The coroner, after thoroughly examining the body, needed a positive identification in order to verify that the body was indeed Jo...

CBS was looking to start up a new show "CSI: Mississippi"

But they couldn't, because there's no dental records and everyone has the same DNA.

School play

Little Johnny's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment.

Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.

Johnny enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. I play a man who's been married for...

What is another name for a dental assistant?

A flossitute.

If Listerine kills 99.9% of germs

and what doesn't kill something makes it stronger,

are we really on the right track with all this dental hygiene stuff?

As the result of an accident, a man lost teeth and had to have a partial plate made.

His dentist built a standard dental plate and fitted it into his mouth and it worked just fine.

In three months, the man was back at his dentist. The dentist looked in his mouth, and the plate he had just put in was so deteriorated it was beyond repair.

The dentist was shocked that it ...

Dentist and the old woman

An old woman had a toothache and had to go visit her dentist.

When she arrived, the assistant led her into one of the patients rooms, and she sat in the chair.

Shortly, the dentist came in and said “Lets take a look at what’s going on here”.

After a few moments the dentist said ...

My Wife's cooking is so bad

If you left Dental Floss in the kitchen

The Roaches would hang themselves!

My Dad has the heart of a lion

and so much hate mail he had to shut down his dental practice

Turns out my co-worker and I are getting our teeth checked the same day

Isn't that coinciDENTAL?

I'll see myself out

Bachelor shopping

A man, enjoying bachelorhood while his wife was away visiting her parents, lived like a typical bachelor, living on whatever was in the pantry.

Cauliflower in the fridge? Fry them with the eggs found there and that's lunch and dinner. Don't want to cook? Open up the cans of soup in the pantry...

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A man with a bad toothache visits his dentist

The dentist tells him that he has a cavity that is severely infected and that he will need to get the tooth pulled.

The man says that he will think about it and goes back home. He tells his wife that he doesn’t want to undertake the dental procedure until after the holidays and that he will ...

My doctor gave me a prescription for this new hormone replacement therapy.

Turns out it also helps with toothaches. It's trans-and-dental medication.

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What the tooth fairy looks like

This came from the book “chicken soup for the dental soul” my dentist had it in the waiting room.

I’m quoting from memory.

A 5 year old girl just lost a baby tooth and the dentist was explaining to her that if she put her tooth under the pillow at night that the tooth fairy would come ...

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Broken

A young blonde girl was telling her friend about her sex life, and says, "Oh, my god, it was really great with Todd, but I was so nervous after his condom broke. I didn't get a good night's sleep for a week." "What happened?" asks her girlfriend.

"I didn't know what I was going to do," says ...

I'm filling in for my friend who got hung over from yesterday's drinking..

His patients wont be thrilled if they knew I never went to Dental College

God was creating all the countries and it was the United Kingdom’s turn.

He turned to his angels and said, “ They shall live on a miserable damp island, they’ll barely get along with each other and be constantly on each other’s throats if not dealing with other countries, have bland food, the worst dental hygiene and have this insufferable fantasy about their country bei...

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Chris Hemsworth goes to a bar

He spots a nice looking lady and gets chatting to her, she happens to have dental braces which affects her speech only slightly.
He asks her “Could I buy you a drink?”
She replies “If you mutht”
They chat and drink into the early hours.
Chris then says “I have a room at the Radisson do...

Ever since quarantine, my pubes have gotten really long,

But think about all the money I've saved on dental floss.

"Thanks for the gold, kind stranger"

I told as I was taking away his dental implant.

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Larry got the new Secretary

**Garry:** Your New Secretary is very Sexy....

**Larry:** Thanks! she is actually a Robot, Named Doreen, if you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types letters. Will Work as long as you like, no complaining, no sick days, no medical, no de...

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