Why do incompetent German oncologists never laugh?

They have no sense of tumor.

what does an oncologist and an excel user have in common?

they both kill cells

Why do they nail coffins shut?

To stop oncologists from ordering another round of chemo

"Right, I've been thinking." I said to the oncologist. "I'm not keen on radiotherapy or chemotherapy. At this stage I think it would be best to just let the disease take its natural course."

My wife's eyes filled with tears, "We should've discussed this together."

"My minds made up." I insisted.

"I think your wife is right." Said the consultant. "After all, she is the one with cancer."

What kind of doctor is always on call?

An oncologist!


...


I made this one up last night but I'm sure someone has thought of it before.

My uncle, as an oncologist....

... has a great sense of tumor.

My wife just started a job as a doctor. She told me she wasn't sure how the hospital's "On-Call" system ...

... so I told her she should ask an oncologist.

After his last appointment, my son complained about how his hair looked. I told him it'll grow on him.

His oncologist, on the other hand, is not as optimistic.

What type of doctor never stops working?

An oncologist.

What do you call a doctor who’s always ready on call?

Oncologist

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A doctor, a lawyer, a college student, and a priest sign up for a skydiving trip...

...and find themselves in the air at 12,000 feet. Three minutes before crossing the LZ, both engines come to a complete stop.

The silence is deafening, until the pilot who is also the instructor, pops out of the cockpit with a panicked look on his face and says 'Folks, I'm sorry-we're out o...

What type of doctor must carry a phone/pager with them at all times?

An Oncologist.

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