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My Dermatologist was fired today...

He made too many rash decisions

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A dermatologist sees a patient with a rash

One cold April morning, a dermatologist sees a young, female patient who says she has a skin problem on her chest. He tells her to lift the shirt and sees an 'H'-shaped rash. The dermatologist had never seen any letter-shaped rashes like this before so her asks her about it.

The woman sheepi...

A dermatologist was studying new remedies for itching, but his lab burnt down...

Now he has to start from scratch.

A pirate goes to the dermatologist.

A pirate goes to the dermatologist to check the red bumps on his arm.

The dermatologist looks at them, and says "Don't worry, they're benign."

The pirate says, "Arrr! I counted them meself, and there be eleven of 'em!"

A woman walks into her dermatologist’s office

and says "Doctor, I have this terrible rash." She lifts up her sweater to reveal a large H-shaped rash.

The doctor replies, "Now, that is the strangest rash I've ever seen."

The woman explains, "Well, my boyfriend goes to Harvard and refuses to take off his letter sweater when we mak...

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A profilactic check-up with the dermatologist at a coal mine.

In comes a miner, the doctor tells him to undress and peel back the skin of his penis.

"What's that bubblegum doing there", asked the doctor.

"Well, the mines are all sooty and dusty and that's the only clean place down there."

"What's with the second piece of bubble gum next to...

What did the dermatologist say in prison that made everybody confused?

“I don’t want to breakout”

Why did no one trust the dermatologist?

He kept making rash decisions.

A dermatologist makes a fortune selling skin cream and runs off with the money.

Rumor has it he was last spotted on his way to a topical island.

A blonde works in a dermatologist office...

and her boyfriend has terrible dandruff, so one day she asks the Dr. what she can do about it.He says, "Its simple, just give him head and shoulders." The next day she comes in and says to the Dr. " I've got one more question, how do you give someone shoulders?"

Blackbeard is in the bath and he finds 10 new moles on his back.

Being a health concious pirate, he books an appointment with his dermatologist to get them checked out. The dermatologist takes a look and says "Well, cap'n, i've done a thorough examination and i'm pretty sure they're benign"



Blackbeard replies "Arrrrrr, can ye check again? I'm sure ...

A dermatologist walks into a bar and orders a vodka tonic.

A dermatologist walks into a bar and orders a vodka tonic. He notices that the bartender has a patch of red scaly skin on his arm. "Say," the dermatologist comments, "you should really have that spot looked at." The bartender replies, "That seems like a rash statement."

Two surgeons are laughing during an operation when a dermatologist walks by...

"What's so funny?" asks the dermatologist.

"Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.

Dermatologist here. I can't decide whether to specialise in psoriasis, or dermatitis. This indecision has put my career back 10 years.

I can't make a rash decision.

TIL that Dermatologists are not good people

Their care for you is only skin deep.

*Thank ButIamARobot for the idea!

As an amateur dermatologist detective this latest case has me stumped...

I'm not too worried though alopecia it all together in the end.

What is a dermatologist's favorite aspect of the Harry Potter series?

Quit-itch

What did the blind man say when he got a rash?

I wish I could see the dermatologist.

Why did the kid with the rash not go on a vacation?

His dermatologist told him to apply the medication locally.

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Dermatologists hate him!

It's not because he has a great skin or anything. He's just an asshole

Hey doctor, can you take a look at this mole on my shoulder?

Doctor: I'm a dermatologist, not a veterinarian!

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A woman goes to a doctor looking for anti-wrinkle treatment...

After finally making it to the office of a renowned dermatologist, she is disappointed to find that there is nothing to help her wrinkles.

"Well..." says the doctor. "There is a new type of treatment being developed. Essentially, we put a tiny knob on the back of your head and twist it, pulli...

A question on an internet forum...

A question on an internet forum:

Q: Please help, I have this great itching between my toes.

A: Well, that depends. If the itching is between all toes, consult a dermatologist. If the itching bothers you only between your two big toes, consult a gynecologist.

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A grim man enters an otolaryngologist's cabinet and whips out his penis... ...and it's all bluish and visibly not okay. The doctor, shocked: "You're in the wrong cabinet, you need to see the urologist!"

"No," says man. "The thing is, me and my friends go to a sauna once a month..."

"Ah, so then you'll need a dermatologist if it's caused by an STD" - interrupts the doctor.

"..and we play this reaction game called "Oof!" when we all whip out dicks and put them on a round table, music pl...

2 surgeons are sitting down having lunch.

They are both engaged in a conversation when all of a sudden, one of the surgeons starts laughing hysterically. A dermatologist walks over to their table to join them. He asked the surgeons, "what's so funny?" One of the surgeons replies, " you wouldn't understand. It's an inside joke. "

A cheerful young noble knocks on a witch's door

A cheerful young noble knocks on a witch's door and tells her that he's always wanted to become a bear, and that he will reward her handsomely if she transforms him. She accepts, and starts gathering components for her spell. The man follows her around the whole time, explaining how he had read abou...

Always diagnose before you treat...

A woman walks into the dermatologists office complaining about a rash on her chest. The doctor asks to take a look, so she removes her shirt, revealing a large, red 'H' on her skin. Believing this to be a case of contact dermatitis, the doctor asks her what could have caused this. "Well", she said, ...

What did the chicken farmer’s daughter say to her dry skinned mother?

“Hey you got the eggs, ma?”

Went to my doctor today for a check up and afterwards he told me my prostate was in peak physical condition....

I thought it was a strange thing for a dermatologist to say but hey good to know

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The nation's top medical experts were asked today if it was time to ease the COVID restrictions.

Allergists were in favour of scratching it.

Dermatologists advised not to make any rash decisions.

Gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it.

Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.

Obstetricians thought the government was labouring under a misconcept...

A woman had a terrible skin disease

That covered her legs. She went to a dermatologist and he said

"What you have is very rare but easily cured. Take a bath in milk for 3 nights and it will go away."

The woman went home and called the local grocery store and said
"I would like to buy 40 gallons of milk to bathe in."...

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