My Dermatologist was fired today...

He made too many rash decisions

A dermatologist was studying new remedies for itching, but his lab burnt down...

Now he has to start from scratch.

A woman walks into her dermatologist’s office

and says "Doctor, I have this terrible rash." She lifts up her sweater to reveal a large H-shaped rash.

The doctor replies, "Now, that is the strangest rash I've ever seen."

The woman explains, "Well, my boyfriend goes to Harvard and refuses to take off his letter sweater when we mak...

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A dermatologist sees a patient with a rash

One cold April morning, a dermatologist sees a young, female patient who says she has a skin problem on her chest. He tells her to lift the shirt and sees an 'H'-shaped rash. The dermatologist had never seen any letter-shaped rashes like this before so her asks her about it.

The woman sheepi...

What did the dermatologist say in prison that made everybody confused?

“I don’t want to breakout”

A dermatologist walks into a bar and orders a vodka tonic.

A dermatologist walks into a bar and orders a vodka tonic. He notices that the bartender has a patch of red scaly skin on his arm. "Say," the dermatologist comments, "you should really have that spot looked at." The bartender replies, "That seems like a rash statement."

What is a dermatologist's favorite aspect of the Harry Potter series?

Quit-itch

Dermatologist here. I can't decide whether to specialise in psoriasis, or dermatitis. This indecision has put my career back 10 years.

I can't make a rash decision.

A dermatologist makes a fortune selling skin cream and runs off with the money.

Rumor has it he was last spotted on his way to a topical island.

Two surgeons are laughing during an operation when a dermatologist walks by...

"What's so funny?" asks the dermatologist.

"Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.

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The American Medical Association has weighed in on Trump's Coronavirus strategy

The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologist had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.    Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring unde...

As an amateur dermatologist detective this latest case has me stumped...

I'm not too worried though alopecia it all together in the end.

TIL that Dermatologists are not good people

Their care for you is only skin deep.

*Thank ButIamARobot for the idea!

Keep away from professional dermatologists..

They make rash decisions

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A grim man enters an otolaryngologist's cabinet and whips out his penis...

...and it's all bluish and visibly not okay. The doctor, shocked: "You're in the wrong cabinet, you need to see the urologist!"

"No," says man. "The thing is, me and my friends go to a sauna once a month..."

"Ah, so then you'll need a dermatologist if it's caused by an STD" - interrupt...

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Dermatologists hate him!

It's not because he has a great skin or anything. He's just an asshole

A blonde works in a dermatologist office...

and her boyfriend has terrible dandruff, so one day she asks the Dr. what she can do about it.He says, "Its simple, just give him head and shoulders." The next day she comes in and says to the Dr. " I've got one more question, how do you give someone shoulders?"

Always diagnose before you treat...

A woman walks into the dermatologists office complaining about a rash on her chest. The doctor asks to take a look, so she removes her shirt, revealing a large, red 'H' on her skin. Believing this to be a case of contact dermatitis, the doctor asks her what could have caused this. "Well", she said, ...

2 surgeons are sitting down having lunch.

They are both engaged in a conversation when all of a sudden, one of the surgeons starts laughing hysterically. A dermatologist walks over to their table to join them. He asked the surgeons, "what's so funny?" One of the surgeons replies, " you wouldn't understand. It's an inside joke. "

A question on an internet forum...

A question on an internet forum:

Q: Please help, I have this great itching between my toes.

A: Well, that depends. If the itching is between all toes, consult a dermatologist. If the itching bothers you only between your two big toes, consult a gynecologist.

What did the chicken farmer’s daughter say to her dry skinned mother?

“Hey you got the eggs, ma?”

Went to my doctor today for a check up and afterwards he told me my prostate was in peak physical condition....

I thought it was a strange thing for a dermatologist to say but hey good to know

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A woman goes to a doctor looking for anti-wrinkle treatment...

After finally making it to the office of a renowned dermatologist, she is disappointed to find that there is nothing to help her wrinkles.

"Well..." says the doctor. "There is a new type of treatment being developed. Essentially, we put a tiny knob on the back of your head and twist it, pulli...

A cheerful young noble knocks on a witch's door

A cheerful young noble knocks on a witch's door and tells her that he's always wanted to become a bear, and that he will reward her handsomely if she transforms him. She accepts, and starts gathering components for her spell. The man follows her around the whole time, explaining how he had read abou...

A woman had a terrible skin disease

That covered her legs. She went to a dermatologist and he said

"What you have is very rare but easily cured. Take a bath in milk for 3 nights and it will go away."

The woman went home and called the local grocery store and said
"I would like to buy 40 gallons of milk to bathe in."...

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