A woman brought a very limp duck to Dr.Santa, a veterinary surgeon.

As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope
and listened to the duck’s
chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head
sadly and said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I...

A buddy of mine went to college, majored in veterinary medicine and minored in taxidermy.

"Either way you're getting your dog back" He says

A man walks into a veterinary clinic

"My dog's head keeps drooping, so I would like to make an appointment," he says.

"Neck's weak?" asks the receptionist.

"Tomorrow would be better," he replies.

After years in Veterinary medicine, I decided to learn Taxidermy also.

Now my sign reads: “Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy -- Either way,you get your dog back!"

Controversial new study in Brazil may have unlocked the key to immortality in frogs

A veterinary surgeon has successfully removed the vocal cords of a green tree frog.

He can no longer croak....

The Kansas Department of Transportation (KDOT) found over 450 dead crows on I-35 this past week, and there was concern that they may have died from the Coronavirus.

A veterinary epidemiologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Coronavirus (COVID-19).

The cause of death was actually from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird'...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a veterinary gynecologist?

A Bitch Doctor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A veterinary student is having an exam.

Unfortunately, he is in grave danger of failing.

Thankfully, the professor likes him, so he decides to ask the student a bonus question - if he answers correctly, he passes, if not, then he fails.

The professor asks the student: "Can you tell me how to perform an abortion on a goat?"<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Dead Cow and Vet School . . .

First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm thinking about opening a veterinary clinic for female dogs with broken legs.

Gonna call it "Bitches Be Trippin"

A man is walking through the woods when he stumbles on a suitcase with some puppies inside

He calls up the local veterinary centre to ask for advice.

"Hi, I was walking through the woods and I found a closed suitcase, when I opened it there were 5 little puppies inside" said the man

"Oh no, that's horrible. Are they moving?" Asks the receptionist

"I'm not sure" replie...

What do a veterinary clinic and kpop fans have in common?

Euthanasia

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

A hearing with the ethics committee and a revoked veterinary license. “Elephino...” you disgust me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did you fuck her Tom?

Tom: She was lying there naked Dave! What am I suppose to do?

Dave: Autopsie Tom! Autopsie!

Tom: Don’t tell me how to do my job!

Dave: You are the worst veterinary ever!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A doctor felt extremely conflicted after sleeping with his patient. One side of his head told him, "Relax. You're not the first doc to sleep with his patient and you'll not be the last."

The other side said, "You bastard. You should be knowing that you're a veterinary doctor."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

sheep problem

A farmer wonders why his sheep aren’t reproducing.

He visits a Veterinary who says every morning the farmer must pile the sheep into his truck, take them to the top of the local mountain and fuck each one. The Vet says to check on the sheep the next morning and if they’re lying in the tree sh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor Kevin had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long

Doctor Kevin had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:

"Kevin don't...

[Long] Story about soldier and friend

A soldier named Peter is deployed overseas for war and stay in contact with his friend Ben by writing letters.

In the first letter to the soldier:

Dear Pete:
I’m sorry to say, but your favorite cat Fluffy keeled
over dead yesterday.
Sincerely,
Ben

Peter is obviousl...

Doctor Griffith

Doctor Griffith offers both Veterinary and Taxidermy services. His tag line is "Either way, you get your pet back".

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.