What do you call a deaf gynecologist?

A lip reader

The gynecologist who became a mechanic!

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out.

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligentl...

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?

A wet nose

After 40 years as a gynecologist,

John decided he had enough money to retire and take up his real love—car mechanics. He left his practice, enrolled in a car mechanics class and studied hard. The day of the final exam came and John worried if he would be able to complete the test with the same proficiency as his younger classmates. ...

A wife has a gynecologist appointment tomorrow

A husband and wife were lying in bed. Getting in the mood, he started caressing her to turn her on.

"Sorry," she said, "I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to make sure I'm fresh and undisturbed before she inspects me."

He rolled over, feeling a little disappointed. ...

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A woman goes to her gynecologist.

“What seems to be the problem?” Asked the gyno.

“Something is terribly wrong. I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina.”

The gynecologist has a look, chuckles and says,

“Those aren’t postage stamps my dear. They’re the stickers off the bananas.”

On a room full of doctors, how do you find the gynecologist?

It's easy. It's the one with the watch on his elbow.

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An old Australian gynecologist was doing his rounds with a group of interns in tow.

As they were making their way between patients, one of the interns tapped the elderly doctor on the shoulder.

"Uh, doctor? I just thought I should tell you that you have an IUD behind your right ear."

The old doctor fumbled behind his ear and retrieved the offending device, scowle...

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Woman went to a gynecologist

She laid on the table and and spread her legs. The doctor started the examination.

"Wow, you have a huge vagina, wow you have a huge vagina."

Woman was embarrassed, and said:

"Yes I know, but you didn't have to say it twice."

To which the doctor replied:

"I only sa...

What does a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?

Both have to smell it, and neither one can eat it.

I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist,

But I couldn’t find an opening.

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A woman went to the gynecologist [NSFW]

A woman went to the gynecologist complaining she kept finding Puerto Rican stamps in her vagina.

The doctor says, “Ma’am, these are banana stickers.”





Shout out to my brother for this one.

A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous.

While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves.

The patient says no.

The doctor says, "There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry. She does not crack a smile, but later she...

A woman calls her gynecologist: "Doctor, did I by any chance, leave my panties at your clinic?"

Doctor looks around, doesn't see them and answers "Sorry, no."
"Ok, then it must be at the dentist's!"

What do you call an exam at a Jewish gynecologist?

A pap schmear

What's the difference between a DJ and a gynecologist ?

None : they both work where others have fun.

What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?

Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?

A: A Genealogist looks up the family tree, and a Gynecologist looks up the family bush.

A woman comes to a gynecologist for a checkup.

She seems to be very embarrassed and uncomfortable.

"Haven't you been examined like this before?" asks the doctor.

"Many times," she giggles, "but never by doctor."

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A man goes to see his gynecologist

"So, what seems to be the problem sir?" The doctor asks politely.

"Well, uh, there seems to be something wrong with my genitals..." he says awkwardly. "I want you to check up on me, but I'm embarrassed you'll laugh"

"Sir, I have been in the medical business for 15 years, and I have nev...

What does a gynecologist have in common with a census taker?

They both make their living checking boxes.

You know that urge to eat something just because it's there?

That's why I'm not a gynecologist anymore.

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A woman goes to the gynecologist

She puts her feet into the stirrups and the doctor begins his exam.

After a moment, he says, "You have an unusually deep vagina."

The woman replies, "You don't have to say it twice."

The doctor says, "I didn't."

Did you hear about the deaf gynecologist?

He had to read lips.

What’s a gynecologist’s favorite Nintendo game?

Duck Hunt

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A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist

The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.

After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"

"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any ab...

How does a woman mess with a gynecologist?

She becomes a ventriloquist.

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A woman has an appointment with her gynecologist...

and while she freshens up beforehand, she grabs a spray from her older daughters room who's 17 and sprays her ladyparts.

She goes to the appointment, and her gynecologist is like "My, we dressed up today, right?".

And she's super pissed, picks her two daughters up from school and fumes...

What’s the biggest draw-back of being a male gynecologist?

Tunnel vision.

A gynecologist decides to find a new career

A gynecologist was tired of his career, and decided to go into an entirely new field. So, he signs up for a course in auto mechanics.

He does well in the course, and is confident that he did well on the final exam: A complete engine rebuild.

When he gets his test score back, he is surp...

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My wife was having trouble having an orgasm

I asked her if her gynecologist was helping.

She said yes, but she still needs the romance.

Why do deaf people make the best gynecologists?

Because they’re good at reading lips.

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What do you call a gynecologist who’s good at their job?

A vagician.

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My girlfriend got a bill for 200 dollars at the gynecologist...

She said I should pay my share since I use her vagina too, so I wrote her a check for 100 dollars and she said I only owed her 20 dollars. She's such a sweet heart!

What’s the difference between a hired detective and a Gynecologist?

Ones a Private Investigator, the others a Privates Investigator

The Gynecologist had become

fed up with his job and decided to change professions. One day after seeing an advertisment for an auto mechanic school on TV, he decided to sign up. The Dr studied very hard and gave it the same level of excelence as he did when practicing medicine.

The day of the final exam came. The Dr had...

Why do women prefer older Gynecologists?

Their shaky hands!

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While in the stirrups at the gynecologist’s office, the woman overhears the doctor say...

“My, what a big vagina!” … “My, what a big vagina!”

The woman became furious and spoke up: “I can’t believe I heard you say something so unprofessional—not just once, but twice!”

“I’m very sorry and I apologize” the doctor said, “But in my defense I only said it once ^once ^^once ^^^on...

"Excuse me, but I'm not a gynecologist."

“An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said, "Excuse me, but I'm not a gynecologist." "I know," said the old lady. "I want you to take my husband's teeth out.”

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My wife said "My gynecologist said I can't have sex for 3 weeks"

My reply: "What does your dentist say?"

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A woman goes to a new gynecologist for an exam.

He takes a look and she's embarrassed to hear "That's a big vagina! That's a big vagina!" from betwixt her nethers.

Flustered, the woman replies, "I know it is, but you didn't have to say it twice!"

Doc answers back, "I only said it once."

I'm a proctologist / gynecologist and my practice is starting to go south as I lose a lot of patients

Mostly because I can only practice my ventriloquism at work...

What's the best way to freak out your gynecologist?

Become a ventriloquist

A young guy goes to the Job Center in Charleston, West Virginia, and sees a flyer advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant at a Soothing Approach Gynecology Center.

Interested, he wants to learn more. "Can you give me some more details?" he asks the clerk.

The clerk pulls up a file and says, "The job entails helping ladies get ready for the gynecologist in a soothing and relaxing manner. You have to help them out of their underwear, lay them down and ca...

A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time...

She is extremely nervous waiting for her turn. The doctor asks her to come in to the consultation room and to lie down, but the woman is still trembling with fear. The doctor starts the consultation and notices that the woman is still very uncomfortable, so he stops for a bit and asks the lady, "If ...

How many gynecologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I'm asking because mine had to call like six other guys in to help him, and I'm really starting to wonder why I needed one installed down there in the first place.

I asked my gynecologist what he looks for in a girl.

He told me he's married and to stop coming to his house.

A gynecologist has a midlife crisis and takes night classes to become a mechanic...

She's really nervous the night of the final, so she studies real hard and hopes for the best.

When the grades are posted, she freaks out because her grade says 150% and she assumes it was an error, so she goes to see the instructor.

He explains it's no error.

"You took apart th...

What do you call a Mormon gynecologist?

A Box Elder.

A gynecologist goes to an all-girl university to give year check-ups

The first girl comes in and undresses. The doctor notices she has a rash on her stomach in the shape of an H, "well that's a weirdly shaped rash."

"Oh, my boyfriend goes to Harvard and he's so proud he goes to Harvard that he won't take off his letterman's sweater when we make love."

T...

A gynecologist decided to become a mechanic...

He graduated mechanic school with a 5.2 gpa and asked his teacher how that was possible.

The teacher said "Well, you aced the written exam thats half. Then you reassembled the motor perfectly, and we had to give you the extra credit when you did it all through the Muffler"!

I was so close to becoming a gynecologist

I could almost taste it.

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A lady walks into a gynecologist office and says I have a problem

I have extremely big
pussy lips. I'd like to get an operation but
don’t tell anyone because I am embarrassed about
my problem." The doctor agrees and gives her the
operation.

The next day while sitting in the recovery room,
she gets three roses delivered. She runs to her
...

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A woman goes to her gynecologist

and takes all her kids with her.
"Doctor, I need your help, I keep getting pregnant!"
"Have you tried using condoms?"
"Yes, and Timmy was the result."
"The pill?"
"Tried it, and here's Madison."
"An IUD then."
"I got one, and then I had little Johnny here."
...

The gynecologist decided she wanted to change careers.

So she applied to an auto mechanic school. After completing all the coursework, she took her final exam. After the exam, the professor was handing out the test results. When she got hers, she was thoroughly confused.

"Professor, it says here that I got 150% on my test. There must have been so...

What do you call a gynecologist who really loves his job?

Ovary Enthusiastic

My grandmother went to a gynecologist to check on hey cervical cancer.

The doctor says to my grandmother: "Now, Mrs. Smith, I'm going to insert my finger..."

My grandmother replies: "Can you put in two? I want a second opinion."

Ever heard of the blind gynecologist?

He could read lips

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[NSFW] I am no gynecologist....

But I know a cunt when I see one

So a cardiologist in a small town died

He was very well loved in the town, and every other doctor in the area came to his funeral. At the end they lowered him into the ground in a wondrous mahogany casket, shaped like a heart, lined with red velvet. It was a beautiful affair, but marred by a woman in the front row who couldn't stop lau...

How can you tell you might have a bad gynecologist?

When they just rub you the wrong way...

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One time, I considered becoming a gynecologist...

...but then I heard I'd be dealing with twats every day.

When I was younger I used to want to be a gynecologist...

But then I looked into it.

What do you call a blind gynecologist?

A pain in the ass

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Overheard at the Gynecologist Office:

A blonde, a brunette & red head are waiting to be seen at the Gynecologist office. All three are pregnant. They start talking to eachother about their babies.

Brunette: I'm going to have a boy because I was on top during sex.

Redhead: Well, I was on the bottom during sex so I'm hav...

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Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: - Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks...

Husband: And what did the dentist say?

What's the worst thing about being a gynecologist?

You can't eat on the job.