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Gynecologist Jokes

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Woman went to a gynecologist

She laid on the table and and spread her legs. The doctor started the examination.

"Wow, you have a huge vagina, wow you have a huge vagina."

Woman was embarrassed, and said:

"Yes I know, but you didn't have to say it twice."

To which the doctor replied:

"I only sa...

Have you heard about the gynecologist who quit his job?

Yeah so he became a mechanic.

Went to school and for the first test, he had to disassemble then reassemble an engine.

He got a %150. He got confused and asked his teacher how he got that grade.

Teacher says, "I gave you %50 for taking it apart, %50 for reassembling it and runnin...

My wife came home and told me her gynecologist recognized her at the supermarket ...

I suggested she start wearing longer skirts.

What to a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?

They can both smell it but they can’t taste it.

A gynecologist had become fed up and was burned out, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, he prepared carefully and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of
150%. Fearing an...

A gynecologist waits on his last patient, who does not arrive...

After an hour, he makes a gin and tonic to relax. After he settles into an armchair to read the newspaper, he hears the doorbell ring.

It’s the patient, who arrives all embarrassed and apologizes for the delay.

“It doesn't matter,” answers the doctor.

“Look, I was having a gin ...

I accidentally called my gynecologist thinking it was my dentist

The person on the other end was horrified when I asked about my routine cleaning

What do you tell the deaf gynecologist?

Read my lips.

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Sara goes to the gynecologist for an examination.

She gets up on the examining table with her feet in the stirrups, and the doctor, with his head now between her legs, whispers to himself "My, what a large vagina. My, what a large vagina. My, what a large vagina. My, what a large vagina.”

“I heard you the first time! How many times must you...

Did you hear about the Buddhist gynecologist?

He knows how to find the chi spot.

What do a near-sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?

A wet nose

I’m not a gynecologist,

but I’m willing to take a look.

Gynecologist appointment

A woman has an appointment with her gynecologist, but oversleeps and wakes up 30 minutes before her morning appointment.

She has to drop her daughter at school first, so she runs to the bathroom and quickly wipes her neither regions with a flannel lying on the side of the bath and runs out th...

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A lady dwarf goes to her gynecologist for her annual check up.

"Any issues or concerns?", asks the Dr.

"Well, now that you mention it, I have noticed that when it rains, my labia gets a bit red and sore."

"That's very unusual", says the Doc, "Hop up on table and let me take a look."

She does, and after a few minutes of checking he says she ...

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A woman sits in a gynecologist's office

She's getting her exam done. The doctor looks up at her and says, "Uh, Mrs. Johnson? Everything looks perfect, but I've got to tell you you have an extremely large vagina."

The woman gets all pissed off, she's offended as hell. The whole way home, she's driving home thinking *'Damn doctor, he...

The coincidences

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perked up and said,

\- “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!”

\- “What a coincidence,” the farmer said.

\- “This is a special day for me; I am cel...

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A blonde goes to the gynecologist.

"What seems to be the problem?" he asked her.


"Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina!"

The gynecologist took a look, chuckled and said, "Those aren't postage stamps, ma'am. They're the stickers off the bananas."

What do you get when you cross Hanson with a gynecologist?

An mmmpap smear

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Young woman visits her gynecologist

After the checkup, he says: "Everything looks OK. If you have no questions, you are free to go."

She turn red and says, she has a question, but she is too embarased. But continues: "My partner wanted to try anal sex and when we did it, I liked it a lot and want to do it again, but first I wan...

What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?

A genealogist looks up the family tree.

A gynecologist looks up the family bush.

I went out on a date recently with my ideal woman. Highly educated, funny, compassionate, beautiful. When she told me she was a gynecologist, I knew she was the one for me

...she really checked a lot of boxes.

What do you call a blind gynecologist?

A lip reader.

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A prostitute goes to see a gynecologist with severe stomach pains....

After she had stripped off and the doctor had examined her, he said "The issue is with your aviaries". She said "Don't you mean ovaries doctor?" He replied "No, there's been a cockatoo in there!"

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My wife said, “My gynecologist said I can’t have sex for six weeks”

I asked her….


“What did your dentist say?”

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My Dad's a retired Gynecologist.

He's out sailing the world, sipping cocktails and enjoying his spare time hopping from hobby to hobby. I'm so happy for him.

It's like he used to say to his old clients, "as long as I put the work in now, the day will come when i'll be able to enjoy the fruits of your labia".

Old lady at dentist's office

An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs.


Dentist: "Excuse me, but I'm not a gynecologist."
"I know," said the old lady. "I want you to take my husband's teeth out.”

The Gynecologist had become

fed up with his job and decided to change professions. One day after seeing an advertisment for an auto mechanic school on TV, he decided to sign up. The Dr studied very hard and gave it the same level of excelence as he did when practicing medicine.

The day of the final exam came. The Dr had...

Gynecologists and midwives are good at telling jokes

It's all about the delivery.

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Voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist

A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist.
The doctor took one look at this woman and all his
professionalism went out the window.
He immediately told her to undress. After she had
disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing
so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm...

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why did the gynecologist go to Jurassic Park?

to see the vagina sores

I didn’t really want to become a gynecologist when I was in college

But I heard there were a lot of openings.

Who was Princess Leia's gynecologist?

OB-Wan Kenobi

Electricians and Gynecologists

Electricians and Gynecologists have the same job description.

They both remove your shorts and check your box.

Why did the woman marry her gynecologist?

He checked a lot of boxes.

If tennis players get tennis elbow, and squash players get squash knees, what do gynecologists get?

Tunnel Vision

A woman goes to the doctor for a routine checkup

During the examination she asks the gynecologist if she can tell a joke.

The doctor says "yes"

The woman says "knock knock"

"Who's there"

"Oh, nevermind, you're already inside"

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I'm not a gynecologist

But I know a cunt when I see one

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A woman is sitting in the exam room of her gynecologist

The doctor says, “You have the largest vagina I’ve ever seen”

“You have the largest vagina I’ve ever seen”

Taken aback, the woman says, “Well, you didn’t have to say it twice”

The doctor says, “I didn’t”

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Bragging About Sex

Three guys were sitting at the bar begin to brag about their sex life….

First guy said "You all have nothing on me. I come to the bar and bring home a different woman every night. Not only that but I drive a sports car into work everyday and have a 8 inch penis. I have slept with more than 1...

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

Where do Gynecologists get their training?

...

...

...

Private School

He was born to be a gynecologist.

Dr. Howie Feltersnatch, OB/GYN

After her divorce, Susan was very picky about her dates. Finally she met a talented and funny young gynecologist.

He checked a lot of boxes.

How do you know a good gynecologist?

He can wallpaper the hall, stairs and landing through the letterbox!

A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous.

While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves. The patient says no. The doctor says, "There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry. She does not crack a smile, but later she laughs. The docto...

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A woman had been married 3 times, but was still a virgin

She marries a 4th time and on her wedding night her new husband noticed her extraordinary excitement and asked why? She said she'd been married 3 times before but was still a virgin. Her new husband asked her to elaborate.


She told him:


"My first husband, John, was a Gy...

My mate Jack has just got himself a job as a gynecologist.

We now call him Flapjack.

The Gynecologist of my wife started following her on Instagram.

I wonder, what more he wants to see...

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Two Americans and a German gynecologist were having a drink...

After a few they start sharing stories from their professions. Since all 3 were gynecologists it soon became a brag-fest.

American 1: "I once had a patient who had a clitoris like a blueberry!"

American 2: "that's nothing, my last patient had one like a cherry!"

German: "I would...

What's something a dentist can say but a gynecologist cannot?

I'm a dentist.


EDIT: Do not read the comments they are not very appropriate.

EDIT 2: Okay people seem to be making a different type of joke to my prompt so I've decided to attach an alternate version: >!I'm not a gynecologist.!<

EDIT 3: This post wouldn't have had to b...

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A husband gets into bed with his wife.

A husband gets into bed with his wife. He's feeling especially horny and starts kissing and caressing her. A couple minutes into foreplay and the wife stops her husband.

"Sorry, honey we can't do it tonight. I have an appointment with my gynecologist in the morning."

The husband rolls ...

A gynecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers.

He'd always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics. When the class ended, the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynecologist did his best-and was amazed to find he scored 150%. ...

A gynecologist decides to find a new career

A gynecologist was tired of his career, and decided to go into an entirely new field. So, he signs up for a course in auto mechanics.

He does well in the course, and is confident that he did well on the final exam: A complete engine rebuild.

When he gets his test score back, he is surp...

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A 70 year old virgin Nun goes to a gynecologist

Because she is experiencing some discomfort. When she explains what’s going on, the gynecologist runs some tests. Later he came back into the room and told the nun that her tests are positive for crabs. “That’s impossible, my body hasn’t been touched by anyone.” She says to him. So she leaves to go ...

A moth walks into a gynecologist's office.

He sits down, put his legs in the stirrups and everything.


"Doc, I feel terrible. I think my wife is cheating on me. Sometimes I come home and I feel like I see other moths flying out the backyard.

I think my boy's on drugs. I found a lighter and some paper in his room the other...

The new job

A Miami man seeking employment is passing in front of a job recruiting office when is stops to read some of the jobs being offered.


Suddenly he notices an intriguing offer.

“WANTED: GYNECOLOGIST’S ASSISTANT”

NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED

JOB RESPONSIBILITIES,

HELP TH...

The gynocologist turned mechanic...

After 20 years in the industry, a gynecologist decides he wants to try something new, so he takes some classes on automotive work. After completing the final, which consisted of a written test and a practical, he asked his instructor how he did.

"Well, you earned 150 points out of 100." The I...

Why do deaf people make the best gynecologists?

Because they can read lips

My friend's a gynecologist and recently went deaf, but don't worry...

He's been reading lips for years

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After 40 years as a gynecologist,

John decided he had enough money to retire and take up his real love—car mechanics. He left his practice, enrolled in a car mechanics class and studied hard. The day of the final exam came and John worried if he would be able to complete the test with the same proficiency as his younger classmates. ...

What does the gynecologist use on her patients on Halloween? [NSFW]

She uses a **SPOOK**ulum!

What does a gynecologist and a deaf person have in common?

They're pretty good at reading lips.

How did the deaf gynecologist make it to the top of his profession?

He's a great lip reader.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady called her gynecologist and asked for an “emergency” appointment.

The receptionist said to come right in. She rushed to the doctor’s office, and was ushered right into an examination room. The doctor came in and asked about her problem.

She was very shy about her emergency problem, and asked the gynecologist to please examine her vagina.
So the doctor st...

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A woman goes to a new gynecologist for an exam.

He takes a look and she's embarrassed to hear "That's a big vagina! That's a big vagina!" from betwixt her nethers.

Flustered, the woman replies, "I know it is, but you didn't have to say it twice!"

Doc answers back, "I only said it once."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl needs to go to her gynecologist for a check up.

She gets checked in and sits down on the table.

Doctor says "Alright, get naked and spread your legs." So she does and he starts to examine her.

The second he gets down there, she hears "Wow, you have a massive vagina! Wow, you have a massive vagina!"

She gets all offended an...

What do you call a male gynecologist?

Pap daddy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes to the gynecologist

She puts her feet into the stirrups and the doctor begins his exam.

After a moment, he says, "You have an unusually deep vagina."

The woman replies, "You don't have to say it twice."

The doctor says, "I didn't."

A gynecologist has a midlife crisis and takes night classes to become a mechanic...

She's really nervous the night of the final, so she studies real hard and hopes for the best.

When the grades are posted, she freaks out because her grade says 150% and she assumes it was an error, so she goes to see the instructor.

He explains it's no error.

"You took apart th...

A gynecologist has a midlife crisis.

He decides to leave the medical profession and become an auto mechanic. He goes to auto mechanic school, and pretty soon it's time for the final exam.
He finishes the exam and is amazed that the instructor has given him a grade of 200. He says to the instructor, "I thought the highest you could s...

The gynecologist down the street is selling the upper floors of his practice...

...He only works in the downstairs area anyway...

A woman visits a gynecologist

A woman goes to see a gynecologist for an exam. She is a new patient for the doctor so he has to ask her a few questions. She also happens to be very attractive which flusters the doctor.

"So...uh, when was...when was the last time you had...uh, a check up...uh, a check up there?", he asks...

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