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A woman goes to her gynecologist.

“What seems to be the problem?” Asked the gyno.

“Something is terribly wrong. I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina.”

The gynecologist has a look, chuckles and says,

“Those aren’t postage stamps my dear. They’re the stickers off the bananas.”

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A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist

The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.

After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"

"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any ab...

"I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.

The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the ...

Did you hear about the Buddhist gynecologist?

He knows how to find the chi spot.

My wife came home angry from the gynecologist after he told her she had to stop using lemon douche

She's been such a sour puss about it.

A gynecologist goes in to see a new patient.

Upon entering, he notices that the new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he decides to break the ice with some small talk.

"Do you know how they make latex gloves?", he asks.

"No", she responds.

The doctor says, "There is a plant in Mexico full of latex tha...

I accidentally called my gynecologist thinking it was my dentist

The person on the other end was horrified when I asked about my routine cleaning

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Woman went to a gynecologist

She laid on the table and and spread her legs. The doctor started the examination.

"Wow, you have a huge vagina, wow you have a huge vagina."

Woman was embarrassed, and said:

"Yes I know, but you didn't have to say it twice."

To which the doctor replied:

"I only sa...

The Gynecologist had become

fed up with his job and decided to change professions. One day after seeing an advertisment for an auto mechanic school on TV, he decided to sign up. The Dr studied very hard and gave it the same level of excelence as he did when practicing medicine.

The day of the final exam came. The Dr had...

How does a deaf gynecologist know what is his patients’ issues are?

He reads lips

What's something a dentist can say but a gynecologist cannot?

I'm a dentist.


EDIT: Do not read the comments they are not very appropriate.

EDIT 2: Okay people seem to be making a different type of joke to my prompt so I've decided to attach an alternate version: >!I'm not a gynecologist.!<

EDIT 3: This post wouldn't have had to b...

What does a near-sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?

They both have a wet nose.

Gynecologists and midwives are good at telling jokes

It's all about the delivery.

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I'm not a gynecologist

But I know a cunt when I see one

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The New Gynecologist

One morning, it's time for Karen's yearly checkup on her "lady parts." She drives to the Gynecologist, is shown into an examination room, and prepares for the exam. To her mild upset, her usual Doctor isn't there.

"What happened to Dr. Michaels?"

"I'm sorry to tell you this, Mrs. Lewis...

I really like this gynecologist I’m dating

He checks a lot of boxes

A woman goes to a gynecologist...

A woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor lies down on the floor and waves to the patient.
"Come on, young lady, walk over me slowly and with your legs apart!"
The patient is of course a bit surprised.
The receptionist says: "You don't have to think anything about it, the doctor has retrai...

What do you call a deaf gynecologist?

A lip reader

What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?

One looks up your family tree, the other looks up your family bush.

What does a Pizza Delivery Driver and a Gynecologist' jobs have in common?

You can smell it, but you can't eat it

A gynecologist is driving along one day...

...when his car starts spluttering. He takes it to a nearby mechanic who proceeds to spend 15 minutes under the hood finds and fixes the problem and proceeds to declare that the car is good to go. After receiving the bill the gynecologist is appalled, the mechanic makes far far far more money that h...

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A lady called her gynecologist and asked for an “emergency” appointment.

The receptionist said to come right in. She rushed to the doctor’s office, and was ushered right into an examination room. The doctor came in and asked about her problem.

She was very shy about her emergency problem, and asked the gynecologist to please examine her vagina.
So the doctor st...

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A woman goes to her gynecologist for a routine exam.

A woman goes to her gynecologist for a routine exam. During the exam, the doctor remarks, "My, you have a big vagina...My, you have a big vagina."

Upset, the woman tells the doctor that he didn't need to say it twice. But the confused doctor replies that he only said it once.

Intrigued...

Did you hear the woman screaming while the gynecologist was probing her?

She had an ovary action.

A gynecologist waits his last patient who does not arrive

After an hour, he decides to take a gin and tonic to relax.
He settles in an armchair to read the newspaper, when the doorbell rings.

It’s the patient who arrives all embarrassed and apologizes for the delay.

“It doesn't matter.” Answers the doctor

“Look, I was taking a gi...

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

Why do deaf people make the best gynecologists?

Because they can read lips

He was born to be a gynecologist.

Dr. Howie Feltersnatch, OB/GYN

The Gynecologist of my wife started following her on Instagram.

I wonder, what more he wants to see...

How do women scare gynecologists?

They study ventriloquism

Where do Gynecologists get their training?

Private school

I heard becoming a gynecologist

I heard becoming a gynecologist is easier than ever...
Because there are so many openings!!!

You know when you get that urge to eat something just because it’s there?

Anyways, lost my job as a gynecologist today!

A moth walks into a gynecologist's office.

He sits down, put his legs in the stirrups and everything.


"Doc, I feel terrible. I think my wife is cheating on me. Sometimes I come home and I feel like I see other moths flying out the backyard.

I think my boy's on drugs. I found a lighter and some paper in his room the other...

Did you know all gynecologists are Australian?

They're all bush doctors who work down under.

A sign over a gynecologist’s office

Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

What do you call a male gynecologist?

Pap daddy.

How did the deaf gynecologist make it to the top of his profession?

He's a great lip reader.

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Woman: "Hey honey, I went to the gynecologist and he said my vagina is like a melon..."

Man: "Is it that big?"

Woman: "No, I think is kinda sweet."

What does the gynecologist use on her patients on Halloween? [NSFW]

She uses a **SPOOK**ulum!

The gynecologist down the street is selling the upper floors of his practice...

...He only works in the downstairs area anyway...

I got fired from McDonald's for constantly eating what was in front of me

And I got fired from the gynecologist for the same reason

My friend's a gynecologist and recently went deaf, but don't worry...

He's been reading lips for years

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Three friends were bragging about who has the most sex.

The first guy starts, “Y'all ain't got nothing on me! I can go to any bar and bring home a new woman every night! Not only that, but I drive a corvette and have an 8 inch penis! I've slept with more than 1,000 women!”

Second guy fires back, “Oh yeah? Well I’m a top gynecologist at the highest...

On a room full of doctors, how do you find the gynecologist?

It's easy. It's the one with the watch on his elbow.

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A man goes to see his gynecologist

"So, what seems to be the problem sir?" The doctor asks politely.

"Well, uh, there seems to be something wrong with my genitals..." he says awkwardly. "I want you to check up on me, but I'm embarrassed you'll laugh"

"Sir, I have been in the medical business for 15 years, and I have nev...

Gynecologist Career Change

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and paperwork so he decided to give up practicing medicine.

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classe...

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A man tries to initiate sex with his wife.

She tells him, "I'm sorry, honey. I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, so I want to be fresh". Disappointed, the man walks away.

Moments later, the man walks back to his wife and asks, "...You don't have a dentist appointment tomorrow, do you?".

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After 40 years as a gynecologist,

John decided he had enough money to retire and take up his real love—car mechanics. He left his practice, enrolled in a car mechanics class and studied hard. The day of the final exam came and John worried if he would be able to complete the test with the same proficiency as his younger classmates. ...

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A girl needs to go to her gynecologist for a check up.

She gets checked in and sits down on the table.

Doctor says "Alright, get naked and spread your legs." So she does and he starts to examine her.

The second he gets down there, she hears "Wow, you have a massive vagina! Wow, you have a massive vagina!"

She gets all offended an...

A gynecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers.

He'd always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics. When the class ended, the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynecologist did his best-and was amazed to find he scored 150%. ...

A gynecologist decides to find a new career

A gynecologist was tired of his career, and decided to go into an entirely new field. So, he signs up for a course in auto mechanics.

He does well in the course, and is confident that he did well on the final exam: A complete engine rebuild.

When he gets his test score back, he is surp...

A woman visits a gynecologist

A woman goes to see a gynecologist for an exam. She is a new patient for the doctor so he has to ask her a few questions. She also happens to be very attractive which flusters the doctor.

"So...uh, when was...when was the last time you had...uh, a check up...uh, a check up there?", he asks...

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A couple left the gynecologist’s office with the wife in tears. They were just told that she could never become pregnant and they would never have the family they both desired so fervently.

Suddenly, a masked man appeared before them.

"I think I can help you," he said, handing them a card. "Why are you masked?" the husband asked. "Because the government has declared our activities illegal. Go to the address on this card. The doctor will take a scraping from your mouth and cultur...

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A woman goes to the gynecologist

She puts her feet into the stirrups and the doctor begins his exam.

After a moment, he says, "You have an unusually deep vagina."

The woman replies, "You don't have to say it twice."

The doctor says, "I didn't."

Mark is a gynecologist

but he is out of work, having messed up one too many times, so he decides he will do what his father did and become a mechanic, he applies to a technical school, gets accepted, and attends all his classes. He seems to be incredible at it as well, just as his father had said he would be. His final in...

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Les gooooo

What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman?
A man will actually press and pull a microwave’s buttons and knobs.

What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis?
A man.

What kind of bees make milk?
Boo-bees.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Asshole!
Ass...

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A woman goes to a new gynecologist for an exam.

He takes a look and she's embarrassed to hear "That's a big vagina! That's a big vagina!" from betwixt her nethers.

Flustered, the woman replies, "I know it is, but you didn't have to say it twice!"

Doc answers back, "I only said it once."

A gynecologist gets sick of his medical career and decides it's time for a change.

He does a bit of research and settles on trying his hand at being a mechanic. He attends mechanic school diligently and pays attention in the hopes of being the best mechanic in town. After taking his final exam, he notices a mistake on the marking of his grading paper and enquires with the teacher....

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What do you call a vegetarian gynecologist's memoirs?

Vaggie tales.

Husband and wife are in bed when...

The husband tries to get some, and the wife stops him abruptly and says. No we can't, I have to go to the gynecologist tomorrow and I wanna be all nice and fresh.

The husband stops and thinks for a sec and says.

Well you ain't gotta go to the dentist tomorrow do ya?

They recently opened a gynecologist clinic near my house.

I'm fine with it, but they really shouldn't have put up a sign that said "GRAND OPENING"

What do a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist see every day?

The yeasty crust.

What does a gynecologist have in common with a census taker?

They both make their living checking boxes.

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