Why should you let an obstetrician pick your lottery numbers?

Because they see a head

An obstetrician once told me that telling a joke is all in the delivery.

So now you know.

I can't believe I wanted to be an obstetrician...

I can't even deliver a joke.

Why did the obstetrician quit her job at age of 35?

She was having a midwife crisis.

A guy says, "Obstetricians named Juan can't seem to learn the whole alphabet."

His friend replies, "Why??"

"I dunno. For some reason they always get stuck at B."

"That's ridiculous. O.B. Juan can know 'B'"

I'll show my self out.

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Three pregnant women, a blonde, brunette, and red head are at their obstetrician to find out the sex of their babies.

The brunette says, "I'm going to have a boy because I was on top."

The red head says, "Well that means I'm going to have a girl because I was on bottom."

Just then the blonde starts crying her eyes out. "What's wrong?" the other two say.

"I'm going to have puppies!"

A retiring obstetrician takes the bag of foreskins he collected during his career to a taxidermist.

The taxidermist looks at the thousands of dried up bits of skin and then looks quizzically at the obstetrician -- who says "I don't know, just make something nice with them."

A couple months later, the taxidermist calls to say that the souvenir of the obstetrician's career is ready. When the ...

Why did the family not laugh at the Obstetrician's joke?

... Because he screwed up the delivery...

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Physicians were unable to reach a consensus:

Should Brexit take place?

The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologist's had sort of a gut feeling about it,

but the Neurologists thought May had a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile, Obstetrician...

Obstetrician career change

An Obstetrician decides that he's sick of his job and opts to become a car mechanic. For the next several months he attends night classes at his local technical college to gain his certification. A few months before the end of the curriculum, the entire class is informed that there will be a final i...

"Are you my daddy?"

A woman is all ready to give birth to her first baby.

The doctor, obstetrician, and nurses are all waiting for the birth.

The doc checks for any signs of progress and suddenly he feels something moving, pulls back his hand and this little head pops out, sees the doc and asks him, ...

Mary had a little lamb...

... and the obstetrician was really surprised.

Good Riddance to Dumb Patients

I sent a reminder to a client that it was time to visit the eye doctor. He called back to inform me that he would not be coming in because, as he put it, “I have a new obstetrician.”

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Three men waited patiently for their babies to be born...

One was a black man, another was a Mormon, and the final was a southern redneck. From the maternity ward, they hear their wives cry in the final push to give birth, but just then all the lights go out. There's a huge commotion and finally after several minutes the lights come back on. The head obste...

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A family of four sits down to dinner.

The son is fifteen years old and the daughter is thirteen. The mother is a school teacher and the father is an obstetrician. They say a quick prayer, and start eating.

The father starts telling his wife about an interesting new study he was reading about, suggesting a surprisingly strong corr...

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Bringing up Baby

Three expectant mothers sat in the obstetrician's office, knitting little sweaters for their impending children. One of them pops a pill in her mouth and the nurse asks, "What did you just take?"

"Iron." she replied. "I want my baby to have strong muscles!"


A second mother pops a p...

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At a cocktail party...

an obstetrician's wife noticed that another guest, a big, oversexed blonde in a slinky red dress, was making overtures at her husband. As it was a large, informal gathering, she tried to laugh it off, until she saw the woman begin whispering into her husband's ear while her hand caressed his back....

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