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Culinary Jokes

A guy goes into a restaurant for lunch.

After careful consideration, he decides he will have a bowl of the day's soup. The waiter praises him for his decision.

"Ah, excellent choice. The chef makes the soup fresh each day from only the freshest, locally-sourced ingredients. It is completely organic, and there are no additives or pr...

What do you call Culinary students?

Cookies

Today my culinary teacher challenged us to make a food pun

She’s going to have a rutebega’ning when we tell her challenging kids isn’t kosher.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A world known pair of thieves were visiting the Escoffier Museum of Culinary Arts in France.

They were looking to make their final steal the biggest yet. They walk up the pearly white steps and into the old yellow plastered building.

As they walk in, the man turns to the woman and asks, "What do you think we should take? I want our last job to be remembered for years!"

The wo...

Everyone was shocked when the chef started talking foreign during a culinary show.

Nobody expects the Spanish-in-cuisine-show!

What do fans supporting The Culinary Institute of America cheer at their sporting events?

Die or Beat Us!

I finished my culinary class final.

It was a piece of cake.

I tried very hard to pass my culinary school finals

But I'm still constipated.

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What is a terrorists favorite culinary item?

Extra virgin olive oil

What did the culinary arts student say when his teacher gave him a piggyback ride?

Weeee Chef!

I'll see myself out.

My wife graduated first in her class at culinary school

She graduated Summa Con Queso.

My wife put up with my culinary experiments until I put ginger in the curry

She loved that cat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde entered into a high-stakes TV culinary contest of the ages...

After the three women finished their cooking procedures, they individually lined up behind the curtain of the main stage and each rolled out a cart with their respective dish. To elaborate, three judges would be grading these women on their cooking capabilities.

When the time came for the pre...

What do you call a graduate from culinary school who likes to eat ass?

A colonary expert.

My mother didn't want me to go to culinary school.

She said it would be a high whisk environment.

I learned in Culinary School today the only way to cut Onions and not cry.....

You have to not become emotionally attached to the Onion.

What is the title of Martha Stewart's culinary anthology?

"Cooking: The Books"

What are course components in following schools called

Indian culinary school - Curryculum

Mortician school - Buryculum

Anxiety School - Worryculum

Accelerated programs - Hurryculum

School of cats - Furryculum

Whenever asked about my culinary skills I always say I'm great at all kinds of cooking

Overcooking, undercooking...

Why should you hire an accountant that went to culinary school?

Because they know how to cook the books.

So Julius Caesar has a fencing instructor to teach him swordplay techniques

But what Caesar doesn’t know is that his fencing instructor comes from a tribe of cannibals in a far off land. And eventually, y’know, Caesar’s assassinated and who should happen by his lifeless bloodied body but his old fencing instructor, who gives in to his culinary impulses and starts carving th...

I was in the process of making a cucumber salad for an important culinary exam.

I was in the proccess of making a cucumber salad for an important culinary exam. I went and grabbed the last cucumber from the refrigerator, but on my way back I tripped. The cucumber fell into some brine, and by the time I'd fished it out it was to late. Now I've got a real pickle in my hands.

Who’s your favourite Canadian music icon that also practices advanced culinary technique which enhances the flavour of poultry at the atomic level?

Brine Atoms

I used to cut and burn myself.

Then I took culinary classes.

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A woman has to decide between three bachelors

A woman in her early thirties is desperate to get married and goes on dates with three elegible bachelors: One from Italy, one from France, and one from China. They have all been equally amazing to the woman, who took years and years to make her decision because she just couldn’t pick.

One da...

Congratulations to my wife!

who reached a new culinary milestone today by setting off the neighbors' smoke alarm!

There was this guy working at McDonald’s.

and it was his turn to cook the French fries. So he put the frozen fries in the metal basket and dipped it in the oil. You see this guy was a veteran chef and used to be able to sense when food was cooked by looking at it's color or by smelling it, he never needed a timer or a meat thermometer or an...

The Spice Mafia

It is a little known fact that some people want spices that they cannot obtain legally. Be it decades-old oregano, salt from the Last Supper, or the flesh of Sean Spicer, some people love strange and unusual spices. However, in order to obtain these spices, they only have one place to turn: the Spic...

Whenever you're serving a dish with a hollandaise sauce, make sure to use a chrome plate.

Because there's no plates like chrome for the hollandaise.

One of my chefs at my culinary school told the class this one and we got out early because we couldn't stand to be in the room with him any more.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You Son's of Bitches!

The local Priest is out for a stroll and comes across a fisherman frying up some of his catch. The Fisherman says "Hey, Father you have to try some of these!"

The Priest tries some and says, "Wow these are good! What are they called?" The Fisherman replies "Sons of Bitches!" Well, the Priest...

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