Climate change is such a joke...

Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.

What do you get when a climate change activist creates computer code?

An Al Gore Rythym

Why is climate change good for shy people at parties?

It’s a good ice breaker

Humans: There is absolutely nothing that can be done to combat climate change.

Mother Earth: Hold My Beer.

Five people are on a plane that is going to crash; Oprah, the Pope, Greta Thunberg, Trump and Dr. Fauci.

Only four parachutes though.

Fauci takes one, says "I’ve got to live so I can find a cure for this pandemic and jumps out of the plane."

The Pope takes one, says "I have to be there to provide spiritual guidance to the faithful during this pandemic and he jumps out."

Trump takes...

What do you call a balance posture exercise in a warmer climate?

Pilates of the Caribbean

I guess China will save the world's climate.

They are not fond of global warning.

What did the climate change journalist say to their boss when they couldn’t find anyone to interview in the rainforest?

“I’m sorry sir, but there are scant tree-sources out here.”

The real reason not to do anything against climate change

Just think how dumb we'd look in front of our children, if twenty years from now we discover climate change was in fact not real. We'd have cleaned the ocean and the cities, preserved the rain forests and millions of species, innovated in multiple industries, made the air breathable again, created a...

Due to global climate change the world is set to experience a loss in olive oil

Now we can all understand the heartache Popeye felt after the tragic end of his wife.

What do you call a pile of coins in the rain?

Climate change

It has been proven that Greta Thunberg is making a real difference to climate change

Every time she comes on the TV approximately 1 million people switch it off

What did the Swiss mountaineer say when he got to a mountain where global warming was reversing itself?

Let's go climate!

I just invented a mathematical equation to solve climate change!

It’s an Al Gore ithm.

Your mother is so fat

that if she farts, she´s going to get charged with climate warming.

Why do birds fly to warmer climates in the winter?

Because it is easier than walking! I'm so sorry guys.

What do microsoft excel and climate change have in common?

They've both been commonplace since the 80's, but boomers still don't understand them

Sure, we can do something about climate change now, but if we find out in 50 years that the researchers made a mistake and that climate change doesn't exist...

We would have improved air quality in all major cities, gotten rid of noisy and smelly cars, cleaned up toxic rivers and destroyed dictatorships funded on money from oil for no reason.

We haven't found a solution for climate change yet, but...

...we're definitely getting warmer.

The UK is really taking the Paris Climate Agreement seriously.

Yesterday they voted to become Corbyn-neutral by 2020.

What’s the difference between weather and climate?

You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate!

A vegan, cyclist and climate change enthusiast walk into a bar.

Everyone else leaves

I am also a proud antivaxx mother, flat earther, Trump enthusiast and know for a fact climate change isnt real.

There's no punchline, ive already told you the joke.

My friend asked, “Aren’t you concerned Florida will be submerged from climate change?”

I replied, I thought that’s what we were all trying to do, then we’ll stop.

How do you persuade Trump to believe climate change is happening?

You tell him Obama didn't care about it.

I used to not believe in climate change

But around October I started supporting global warming

Germany has varied climate

Winter is cold, Spring is sunny, Summer is hot,
And the Fall is full of soviets

How many U.S. politicians does it take the solve climate change?

Trick question: U.S. politicians can't solve anything.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With climate change, income inequality, racism, xenophobia, religious extremists, war, and famine all around us, I often wonder what the world is coming to.

Then I check PornHub.

Turns out it’s stepsisters.

Alot of people have been protesting for the climate

They're just afraid of change

Trump's Presidency is like climate change

Every day it gets worse and Republicans try to deny it.

What motivates teens to protest climate change?

They're doing it for the Greta good.

Cute girls are great but those who speak about climate are

Greta

The time to fight against climate change is upon us, and this sub is setting fantastic examples.

Everything here is recycled anyway...

A time traveler comes back from the year 2045

I encountered a time traveler today. During my self isolation he came to the door dressed in a hazmat suit. I was of course alarmed when I opened the door to such a site. He quickly explained who he was and asked if he could have just a few minutes of my time. I didn't believe anything he was sa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Wife is missing.

Husband:

My wife is missing.

She went out yesterday and has not come home...



Sergeant at Police Station:

What is her height?



Husband:

Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.



Sergeant:

Weight?



Husb...

Could someone please tell me why people are comparing Greta Thunberg with the US president?

It's impudent and just wrong. One is an angry, attention-seeking child that yells at foreign leaders on international conferences and never does anything that actually helps.

The other one is a Swedish climate activist.

Climate change is getting on the news alot more nowadays.

You could say its a hot topic worldwide.

Why do Republicans think climate change activists are crazy?

Because they're mostly mad scientists.

I hate hearing about all these climate strikes happening.

I, for one, am against hitting fragile things

Teenagers at the climate strikes didn’t skip school because they’re insane or delusional

They’re just having a mid-life crisis

Sorry I couldn't take the children to the climate change strike on Friday.

Our SUV was in the garage for repairs.

I don’t get it. What’s the problem with climate change, ice bergs melting and the sea level rising?

I mean the excess water just flows down the edge of the Earth.

What do you call a computer program that writes a blues song about climate change?

An Al-Gore-rhythm!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It seems like the world is ending these days

We’ve got all this awful shit just falling from the sky. Climate change, global pandemics, economic crashes, Australian wildfire, elections, Kobe Bryant,

Did you hear about the ecoterrorist who tried to start another ice age to combat climate change?

They charged him with crimes against humidity.

Mankind vs mommy nature

Mankind: we will never slow down or shut down to help this climate change.


Mommy nature: Here is a virus. Practice.

A climate scientist and a climate-change denier walk into a bar

The climate-change denier goes to the bartender and asks for the strongest drink in the house.

The bartender takes out a bottle and says, "This is Absinthe, about 75% alcohol. Can I sell you a glass?"

The climate-change denier gets all upset and leaves the bar in a huff. The climate sc...

A scientist told me my climate change denial was wrong, citing the horrific brush fires we see wiping out swathes of vegetation all over the world.

I told him they were just plants.

Given the current climate, Saudi Arabia is a dangerous place to visit.

I won’t beheading there anytime soon.

What is the warmest period in the history of the world's climate called?

Climax.

Did you know it's cheaper to buy pies in warm weather climates?

Cherry pie in Jamaica - $4.25
Blueberry pie in Cuba - $3.50

Those are some of the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

Never argue about climate change

It always turns into a heated debate

Trump Keeps claiming that climate change is a hoax and that his administration has done the most for global warming, and that the USA is getting colder

But that’s because he doesn’t understand what the media means when they say:

“Donald Trump is the most **Polarizing** President America has had since Nixon.”

We should let the redditors with the highest karma fight climate change...

After all, they're just so good at recycling.

Hollywood is really taking climate change seriously

Vin Diesel even changed his name to Vin Solar

Two Leafs fans die and go to hell

The devil greets them at the gate and shows them to their new home. Having lived in northern Ontario their whole lives, the two men are excited to enjoy hell's warmer climate. They immediately shed a few layers and kick back with a couple cold beers. The devil, none too pleased with their enthusiasm...

Hippopotamuses are seemingly unconcerned about the effects of climate change on their habitat

It's as if they lived in de Nile

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you solve climate change?

Convince Republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.

Carobs grow on carob trees in warm climates. They are frequently transported to other regions by air.

Usually by pilots of the carob bean.

Donald Trump doesn't believe in the eventual flooding of the coasts due to climate change

apparently he doesn't think America can sink any lower either.

What's the difference between climate change and obesity?

One's a worldwide problem.

The other's a wideworld problem.

How can we get Republicans to care about climate change?

Blame it on the poor.

I have been thrown out of the climate protest meeting today.

I probably shouldn't have said "We must embrace change."

Trump has left the historical Paris Climate Accord in which countries around the world agreed to fight global warming...

It was the first time he pulled out of a working model.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Geography of a woman

Between the ages of 15-18, a woman is like China. Developing at a sizzling rate with a lot of potential but as yet still not free or open.Between the ages of 18-21, a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful. Between the ages of 21-30, a woman is l...

Why did the polar bear cross the road?

Climate change

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Argument With A Climate Change Denier

The denier goes, “How can global warming be real if it’s 20 degrees here?”

I say to him, “Saying Climate Change isn’t real because it’s cold where you live is like saying smart people don’t exist because you’re a fucking idiot!”

I haven't always believed in climate change

But I'm warming up to the theory.

Why are conservatives climate change deniers?

Because they want to melt the snowflakes!

I spent five dollars for a weather app on my phone....

I got two dollars and fifteen cents back in climate change.

A husband calls the Sheriff's office to report his wife missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Sheriff: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sheriff: Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sheriff: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do pedophiles and climate change deniers have in common? [NSFW]

They both enjoy fucking the next generation.

Is it okay to mock kids for protesting global warming?

Not in the current climate.

Anyone who believes in climate change just believes whatever someone tells them to. They don't think for themselves.

I know that because Alex Jones told me so

How about that climate change

More like climate please don't change am I right?

What do you get when you combine corporate greed, sleazy politicians, and willful ignorance?

A climate crisis!

If Trump continues his anti climate change campaign and the provocation towards North Korea the only wall we will be building will be...

Wall-E

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Diary of an Englishman after he moves to South Africa....

**August 1**: Just got transferred with work from London, UK to our new home in Phalaborwa, Limpopo, South Africa. Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I’ve finally fo...

Hey, why are they called "Generation Z" anyway?

Because they'll be the last ones left if we do nothing about climate change.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did Nazi Germany prove climate change is real?

They made it snow in the summer

A Republican politician prays to God to stop climate change...

Nearly all of the world's scientists present the politician with data about the causes and potentially disastrous effects of climate change.

Ignoring them, the politician prays, "Dear Lord, please help us with this climate change problem!"

Captains of industry present the politician wi...

Nicaragua just signed the Paris Climate Agreement, leaving the US and Syria as the only nations not in the agreement.

It's interesting. One of these countries is a corrupt, remote wasteland headed straight into chaos, pitting religious fundamentalists headed by a crooked tyrant against the majority of the people, and the other one is Syria.

I think we can get Republicans on board with climate change initiatives if we just focus on consequences that mean something to them.

I've read that polar ice is melting causing polar bears to migrate south.  They've actually started sharing habitat with grizzly bears and are even interbreeding with them. Now if there's one thing Republicans hate more than science it's interracial marriage. So all we need to do is let them know th...

Remember when glaciers were cool?

That's all. What's a good follow up? It's a climate change joke. Idk.

I don't care much for political jokes. But I was thinking what would Reagan think of our current toxic political climate if he was alive today?

I think he would say " WHY WON'T SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF THIS BOX"

Trump is a genius

Bringing back the cold war to combat climate change.

Truly a man of the ages.

When you see geese flying to warmer a climate ever wonder why one side of the V is longer?

It's because that side has more geese.

Trump only pulled out of the Paris Climate Agreement because he was standing up for his own kind

After all, he is just a load of hot air

What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump pulls out of Paris Climate Arrangement after alleged threats to interfere with the U.S. Mexico border wall.

He heard "Climb-it" deal, and flipped out

Trump wants to buy Greenland

Trump wants to buy Greenland. That way when climate change removes the last bit of snow from the area, he can proclaim that he achieved what no one else in history could. He made Greenland, green again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I would participate in the climate march

But it's too hot.

What animal can only survive in temperate climates?

A lukeworm.

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