Climate change is such a joke...

Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.

Climate change is causing people to move into hilly and mountainous regions

According to one expert on YouTube it is plain unsettling.

97.62% of the world's population has accepted climate change as a scientific fact.

The rest of them are in North America.

Why aren't people allowed to bbq naked during hot, dry climates?

High risk of Bush fires.

I started to get really worried about climate change when I was house shopping and my real estate agent used the phrase:

“Potential Water Front Property”

Started a new climate change non profit

Named Climax

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man made climate change is really annoying me!

I wish the jerks that keep changing the climate would just set it at 70 degrees Fahrenheit year round and be done with it!

I bought some pantyhose but they kept telling me climate change wasn't real

I should have checked the Denier rating

I don't like the climate in some South American countries

I find it a bit Chile

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It should be no surprise President Trump doesn't care about climate change

He's always liked to fuck the younger generation

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Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

Did you hear about the new drum beat formula that’s trying to fight climate change?

It’s called an AlGoreRhythm.

This year is all about noticing things we should’ve done differently. Should’ve done more to stop the spread of the virus, police brutality, wildfires, climate change...but you know what they say about hindsight...

It’s 2020.

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I work for company that paints lawns green in dry climates. Someday I will own my own upholstery business. I want to make car seats out of animal hides...

...but, I dye grass.

What are the causes of climate change?

The climate changes when it gets tired of wearing the same old clothes.

Why r/jokes is most climate friendly sub because it

recycles continuously.

What's the main cause of Climate Change?

Somebody lit the dinosaurs on fire.

Humans: There is absolutely nothing that can be done to combat climate change.

Mother Earth: Hold My Beer.

What do you get when a climate change activist creates computer code?

An Al Gore Rythym

It has been proven that Greta Thunberg is making a real difference to climate change

Every time she comes on the TV approximately 1 million people switch it off

What do microsoft excel and climate change have in common?

They've both been commonplace since the 80's, but boomers still don't understand them

Are you a banana? John Green quotes

Google question: Are you a banana?


Critically acclaimed author John Green: Oh come on, these questions are just getting stupid. Like, do I have some kind of pale exterior that you can peel away and then-


...


Oh...


...


But do I thrive i...

Trump's Presidency is like climate change

Every day it gets worse and Republicans try to deny it.

We haven't found a solution for climate change yet, but...

...we're definitely getting warmer.

Sure, we can do something about climate change now, but if we find out in 50 years that the researchers made a mistake and that climate change doesn't exist...

We would have improved air quality in all major cities, gotten rid of noisy and smelly cars, cleaned up toxic rivers and destroyed dictatorships funded on money from oil for no reason.

The real reason not to do anything against climate change

Just think how dumb we'd look in front of our children, if twenty years from now we discover climate change was in fact not real. We'd have cleaned the ocean and the cities, preserved the rain forests and millions of species, innovated in multiple industries, made the air breathable again, created a...

I just invented a mathematical equation to solve climate change!

It’s an Al Gore ithm.

A vegan, cyclist and climate change enthusiast walk into a bar.

Everyone else leaves

I guess China will save the world's climate.

They are not fond of global warning.

What did the climate change journalist say to their boss when they couldn’t find anyone to interview in the rainforest?

“I’m sorry sir, but there are scant tree-sources out here.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With climate change, income inequality, racism, xenophobia, religious extremists, war, and famine all around us, I often wonder what the world is coming to.

Then I check PornHub.

Turns out it’s stepsisters.

How do you persuade Trump to believe climate change is happening?

You tell him Obama didn't care about it.

In the current climate you can walk in any shop that's still open with a mask on maybe even a bank and nobody will even bat an eyelid

Until they see the gun anyway

My friend asked, “Aren’t you concerned Florida will be submerged from climate change?”

I replied, I thought that’s what we were all trying to do, then we’ll stop.

What’s the difference between weather and climate?

You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate!

Climate change is getting on the news alot more nowadays.

You could say its a hot topic worldwide.

I am also a proud antivaxx mother, flat earther, Trump enthusiast and know for a fact climate change isnt real.

There's no punchline, ive already told you the joke.

How many U.S. politicians does it take the solve climate change?

Trick question: U.S. politicians can't solve anything.

I used to not believe in climate change

But around October I started supporting global warming

Germany has varied climate

Winter is cold, Spring is sunny, Summer is hot,
And the Fall is full of soviets

What motivates teens to protest climate change?

They're doing it for the Greta good.

Given the current climate, Saudi Arabia is a dangerous place to visit.

I won’t beheading there anytime soon.

The time to fight against climate change is upon us, and this sub is setting fantastic examples.

Everything here is recycled anyway...

Alot of people have been protesting for the climate

They're just afraid of change

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you solve climate change?

Convince Republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2020 Holiday Album

We're getting ahead of the curve and releasing this year's 2020 Holiday Album including such hits as:

1- Baby It's Covid Outside

2- Walking In A Pandemic Wonderland

3- Grandma Got Ran Over By A Protestor

4- Karen, Did You Know

5- Zoom Christmas

6- Frosty The...

Did you know it's cheaper to buy pies in warm weather climates?

Cherry pie in Jamaica - $4.25
Blueberry pie in Cuba - $3.50

Those are some of the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

I don’t get it. What’s the problem with climate change, ice bergs melting and the sea level rising?

I mean the excess water just flows down the edge of the Earth.

What do you call a computer program that writes a blues song about climate change?

An Al-Gore-rhythm!

Never argue about climate change

It always turns into a heated debate

What is the warmest period in the history of the world's climate called?

Climax.

How can we get Republicans to care about climate change?

Blame it on the poor.

A climate scientist and a climate-change denier walk into a bar

The climate-change denier goes to the bartender and asks for the strongest drink in the house.

The bartender takes out a bottle and says, "This is Absinthe, about 75% alcohol. Can I sell you a glass?"

The climate-change denier gets all upset and leaves the bar in a huff. The climate sc...

A scientist told me my climate change denial was wrong, citing the horrific brush fires we see wiping out swathes of vegetation all over the world.

I told him they were just plants.

Trump Keeps claiming that climate change is a hoax and that his administration has done the most for global warming, and that the USA is getting colder

But that’s because he doesn’t understand what the media means when they say:

“Donald Trump is the most **Polarizing** President America has had since Nixon.”

Hollywood is really taking climate change seriously

Vin Diesel even changed his name to Vin Solar

Five people are on a plane that is going to crash; Oprah, the Pope, Greta Thunberg, Trump and Dr. Fauci.

Only four parachutes though.

Fauci takes one, says "I’ve got to live so I can find a cure for this pandemic and jumps out of the plane."

The Pope takes one, says "I have to be there to provide spiritual guidance to the faithful during this pandemic and he jumps out."

Trump takes...

Could someone please tell me why people are comparing Greta Thunberg with the US president?

It's impudent and just wrong. One is an angry, attention-seeking child that yells at foreign leaders on international conferences and never does anything that actually helps.

The other one is a Swedish climate activist.

Trump has left the historical Paris Climate Accord in which countries around the world agreed to fight global warming...

It was the first time he pulled out of a working model.

Science: cowfarts cause climate change. Vegetarians: I'll have what the cows are eating.

Science: cowfarts cause climate change.

Vegetarians: I'll have what the cows are eating.

Donald Trump doesn't believe in the eventual flooding of the coasts due to climate change

apparently he doesn't think America can sink any lower either.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do pedophiles and climate change deniers have in common? [NSFW]

They both enjoy fucking the next generation.

Hippopotamuses are seemingly unconcerned about the effects of climate change on their habitat

It's as if they lived in de Nile

I haven't always believed in climate change

But I'm warming up to the theory.

Carobs grow on carob trees in warm climates. They are frequently transported to other regions by air.

Usually by pilots of the carob bean.

Why are conservatives climate change deniers?

Because they want to melt the snowflakes!

Motel Coronavirus

Motel Coronavirus



On a dim dreary morning

Ceiling fan stirs the air

Stale beer and Doritos

Littered next to my chair

Just outside of my window

Saw a glimmer of light

My eyes were bloodshot and my head pounding

I hadn't slept all last ni...

A husband calls the Sheriff's office to report his wife missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Sheriff: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sheriff: Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sheriff: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort ...

What's the difference between climate change and obesity?

One's a worldwide problem.

The other's a wideworld problem.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Argument With A Climate Change Denier

The denier goes, “How can global warming be real if it’s 20 degrees here?”

I say to him, “Saying Climate Change isn’t real because it’s cold where you live is like saying smart people don’t exist because you’re a fucking idiot!”

I have been thrown out of the climate protest meeting today.

I probably shouldn't have said "We must embrace change."

Anyone who believes in climate change just believes whatever someone tells them to. They don't think for themselves.

I know that because Alex Jones told me so

If Trump continues his anti climate change campaign and the provocation towards North Korea the only wall we will be building will be...

Wall-E

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did Nazi Germany prove climate change is real?

They made it snow in the summer

A time traveler comes back from the year 2045

I encountered a time traveler today. During my self isolation he came to the door dressed in a hazmat suit. I was of course alarmed when I opened the door to such a site. He quickly explained who he was and asked if he could have just a few minutes of my time. I didn't believe anything he was sa...

Your mother is so fat

that if she farts, she´s going to get charged with climate warming.

A Republican politician prays to God to stop climate change...

Nearly all of the world's scientists present the politician with data about the causes and potentially disastrous effects of climate change.

Ignoring them, the politician prays, "Dear Lord, please help us with this climate change problem!"

Captains of industry present the politician wi...

I think we can get Republicans on board with climate change initiatives if we just focus on consequences that mean something to them.

I've read that polar ice is melting causing polar bears to migrate south.  They've actually started sharing habitat with grizzly bears and are even interbreeding with them. Now if there's one thing Republicans hate more than science it's interracial marriage. So all we need to do is let them know th...

I don't care much for political jokes. But I was thinking what would Reagan think of our current toxic political climate if he was alive today?

I think he would say " WHY WON'T SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF THIS BOX"

When you see geese flying to warmer a climate ever wonder why one side of the V is longer?

It's because that side has more geese.

What did the Swiss mountaineer say when he got to a mountain where global warming was reversing itself?

Let's go climate!

Trump only pulled out of the Paris Climate Agreement because he was standing up for his own kind

After all, he is just a load of hot air

What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

What animal can only survive in temperate climates?

A lukeworm.

How many climate change deniers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

What are you talking about? The bulb is fine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump pulls out of Paris Climate Arrangement after alleged threats to interfere with the U.S. Mexico border wall.

He heard "Climb-it" deal, and flipped out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I would participate in the climate march

But it's too hot.

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