The real reason not to do anything against climate change

Just think how dumb we'd look in front of our children, if twenty years from now we discover climate change was in fact not real. We'd have cleaned the ocean and the cities, preserved the rain forests and millions of species, innovated in multiple industries, made the air breathable again, created a...

What do microsoft excel and climate change have in common?

They've both been commonplace since the 80's, but boomers still don't understand them

I just invented a mathematical equation to solve climate change!

It’s an Al Gore ithm.

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Say what you want about Greta Thunberg but she's making a real difference to climate change.

Everytime she comes on my tv, I turn the fucker off.

We haven't found a solution for climate change yet, but...

...we're definitely getting warmer.

What do you get when you cross a wolf and a climate activist?

aware wolf

The UK is really taking the Paris Climate Agreement seriously.

Yesterday they voted to become Corbyn-neutral by 2020.

Even if Netherlands might go underwater due to climate change

The people might still get high enough to go through this challenge.

\*pun very intended

Why do Mexicans like Climate Change?

It gets rid of ICE

Sure, we can do something about climate change now, but if we find out in 50 years that the researchers made a mistake and that climate change doesn't exist...

We would have improved air quality in all major cities, gotten rid of noisy and smelly cars, cleaned up toxic rivers and destroyed dictatorships funded on money from oil for no reason.

I am also a proud antivaxx mother, flat earther, Trump enthusiast and know for a fact climate change isnt real.

There's no punchline, ive already told you the joke.

Climate change is such a joke

Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.

What’s the difference between weather and climate?

You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate!

I used to not believe in climate change

But around October I started supporting global warming

Why do birds fly to warmer climates in the winter?

Because it is easier than walking! I'm so sorry guys.

Why do Republicans think climate change activists are crazy?

Because they're mostly mad scientists.

My friend asked, “Aren’t you concerned Florida will be submerged from climate change?”

I replied, I thought that’s what we were all trying to do, then we’ll stop.

Germany has varied climate

Winter is cold, Spring is sunny, Summer is hot,
And the Fall is full of soviets

Could someone please tell me why people are comparing Greta Thunberg with the US president?

It's impudent and just wrong. One is an angry, attention-seeking child that yells at foreign leaders on international conferences and never does anything that actually helps.

The other one is a Swedish climate activist.

Climate change is getting on the news alot more nowadays.

You could say its a hot topic worldwide.

Alot of people have been protesting for the climate

They're just afraid of change

Two Leafs fans die and go to hell

The devil greets them at the gate and shows them to their new home. Having lived in northern Ontario their whole lives, the two men are excited to enjoy hell's warmer climate. They immediately shed a few layers and kick back with a couple cold beers. The devil, none too pleased with their enthusiasm...

What motivates teens to protest climate change?

They're doing it for the Greta good.

Cute girls are great but those who speak about climate are

Greta

The time to fight against climate change is upon us, and this sub is setting fantastic examples.

Everything here is recycled anyway...

I don’t get it. What’s the problem with climate change, ice bergs melting and the sea level rising?

I mean the excess water just flows down the edge of the Earth.

A vegan, cyclist and climate change enthusiast walk into a bar.

Everyone else leaves

How many U.S. politicians does it take the solve climate change?

Trick question: U.S. politicians can't solve anything.

How do you persuade Trump to believe climate change is happening?

You tell him Obama didn't care about it.

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With climate change, income inequality, racism, xenophobia, religious extremists, war, and famine all around us, I often wonder what the world is coming to.

Then I check PornHub.

Turns out it’s stepsisters.

What do you call a computer program that writes a blues song about climate change?

An Al-Gore-rhythm!

A climate scientist and a climate-change denier walk into a bar

The climate-change denier goes to the bartender and asks for the strongest drink in the house.

The bartender takes out a bottle and says, "This is Absinthe, about 75% alcohol. Can I sell you a glass?"

The climate-change denier gets all upset and leaves the bar in a huff. The climate sc...

Did you hear about the ecoterrorist who tried to start another ice age to combat climate change?

They charged him with crimes against humidity.

A scientist told me my climate change denial was wrong, citing the horrific brush fires we see wiping out swathes of vegetation all over the world.

I told him they were just plants.

Poseidon, Zeus, and Hades sit down for a drink.

They know that, because of those pesky humans, it will be their last meeting in a long time. Zeus is attempting to combat climate change, Poseidon is dealing with rampant pollution and rising sea levels, and Hades needs to update his infrastructure to deal with the massive influx of souls after WW3....

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Geography of a woman

Between the ages of 15-18, a woman is like China. Developing at a sizzling rate with a lot of potential but as yet still not free or open.Between the ages of 18-21, a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful. Between the ages of 21-30, a woman is l...

Never argue about climate change

It always turns into a heated debate

Trump's Presidency is like climate change

Every day it gets worse and Republicans try to deny it.

I spent five dollars for a weather app on my phone....

I got two dollars and fifteen cents back in climate change.

Trump Keeps claiming that climate change is a hoax and that his administration has done the most for global warming, and that the USA is getting colder

But that’s because he doesn’t understand what the media means when they say:

“Donald Trump is the most **Polarizing** President America has had since Nixon.”

What is the warmest period in the history of the world's climate called?

Climax.

Did you know it's cheaper to buy pies in warm weather climates?

Cherry pie in Jamaica - $4.25
Blueberry pie in Cuba - $3.50

Those are some of the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

Given the current climate, Saudi Arabia is a dangerous place to visit.

I won’t beheading there anytime soon.

Hollywood is really taking climate change seriously

Vin Diesel even changed his name to Vin Solar

What do you get when you combine corporate greed, sleazy politicians, and willful ignorance?

A climate crisis!

Science: cowfarts cause climate change. Vegetarians: I'll have what the cows are eating.

Science: cowfarts cause climate change.

Vegetarians: I'll have what the cows are eating.

Hippopotamuses are seemingly unconcerned about the effects of climate change on their habitat

It's as if they lived in de Nile

[Long] An email from the AFTERLIFE

A Canadian couple needed a vacation in a warm climate at the end of a very cold winter. They booked a suite at an exclusive, Arizona desert resort. Because of a last minute business meeting, the wife had to leave a day later than her husband. After an early flight and then checking in at the resort,...

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Diary of an Englishman after he moves to South Africa....

**August 1**: Just got transferred with work from London, UK to our new home in Phalaborwa, Limpopo, South Africa. Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I’ve finally fo...

Is it okay to mock kids for protesting global warming?

Not in the current climate.

Carobs grow on carob trees in warm climates. They are frequently transported to other regions by air.

Usually by pilots of the carob bean.

Donald Trump doesn't believe in the eventual flooding of the coasts due to climate change

apparently he doesn't think America can sink any lower either.

I have been thrown out of the climate protest meeting today.

I probably shouldn't have said "We must embrace change."

Hey, why are they called "Generation Z" anyway?

Because they'll be the last ones left if we do nothing about climate change.

We should let the redditors with the highest karma fight climate change...

After all, they're just so good at recycling.

Remember when glaciers were cool?

That's all. What's a good follow up? It's a climate change joke. Idk.

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How do you solve climate change?

Convince Republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.

What's the difference between climate change and obesity?

One's a worldwide problem.

The other's a wideworld problem.

Trump is a genius

Bringing back the cold war to combat climate change.

Truly a man of the ages.

How can we get Republicans to care about climate change?

Blame it on the poor.

Trump has left the historical Paris Climate Accord in which countries around the world agreed to fight global warming...

It was the first time he pulled out of a working model.

Trump wants to buy Greenland

Trump wants to buy Greenland. That way when climate change removes the last bit of snow from the area, he can proclaim that he achieved what no one else in history could. He made Greenland, green again.

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Argument With A Climate Change Denier

The denier goes, “How can global warming be real if it’s 20 degrees here?”

I say to him, “Saying Climate Change isn’t real because it’s cold where you live is like saying smart people don’t exist because you’re a fucking idiot!”

Beach Boys: If everybody had an ocean across the USA, then everybody'd be surfin’ like California.

Climate change scientist: You're missing the point, Boys.

A husband calls the Sheriff's office to report his wife missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Sheriff: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sheriff: Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sheriff: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort ...

I haven't always believed in climate change

But I'm warming up to the theory.

Why are conservatives climate change deniers?

Because they want to melt the snowflakes!

Anyone who believes in climate change just believes whatever someone tells them to. They don't think for themselves.

I know that because Alex Jones told me so

A penguin is driving through the desert...

He's cruising down a long stretch of highway when all of a sudden his car starts billowing smoke out from under the hood. The car starts sputtering, and being so far from home and in such heat, he starts to worry about his own safety. Luckily, as his car starts to come to a halt, he notices a gas st...

If Trump continues his anti climate change campaign and the provocation towards North Korea the only wall we will be building will be...

Wall-E

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What do pedophiles and climate change deniers have in common? [NSFW]

They both enjoy fucking the next generation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did Nazi Germany prove climate change is real?

They made it snow in the summer

Nicaragua just signed the Paris Climate Agreement, leaving the US and Syria as the only nations not in the agreement.

It's interesting. One of these countries is a corrupt, remote wasteland headed straight into chaos, pitting religious fundamentalists headed by a crooked tyrant against the majority of the people, and the other one is Syria.

I think we can get Republicans on board with climate change initiatives if we just focus on consequences that mean something to them.

I've read that polar ice is melting causing polar bears to migrate south.  They've actually started sharing habitat with grizzly bears and are even interbreeding with them. Now if there's one thing Republicans hate more than science it's interracial marriage. So all we need to do is let them know th...

I don't care much for political jokes. But I was thinking what would Reagan think of our current toxic political climate if he was alive today?

I think he would say " WHY WON'T SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF THIS BOX"

Trump only pulled out of the Paris Climate Agreement because he was standing up for his own kind

After all, he is just a load of hot air

When you see geese flying to warmer a climate ever wonder why one side of the V is longer?

It's because that side has more geese.

Why did the weatherman blush?

He saw the climate change

Donald Trump pulls out of Paris Climate Arrangement after alleged threats to interfere with the U.S. Mexico border wall.

He heard "Climb-it" deal, and flipped out

What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

There once was a man who was cursed to explain everything he said.

Due to this he never really talked much until one day when he signed up to talk in a debate about climate change. When it came his turn he began to speak and of course everyone noticed his speech impediment right away. A member of the opposing view interrupted him and asked “what are you doing?” The...

I didn't get too worked up over Trumps decision on the climate accord...

the whole thing was rather anti-climatic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I would participate in the climate march

But it's too hot.

TIL Most of the world's coco is produced in Africa.

This is because of part of the continent's tropical savanna climate, particularly its precipitation. I love chocolate, so I'm really grateful for this.

Next time I eat a candy bar, I'll have to bless the rains down in Africa.

An American man was on business in Europe...

When he gets a call from his wifes lawyer saying she has found another man and wants a divorce. Upset, the man gets the earliest flight home which unfortunately crashes on a deserted island. While on the island the man sees a bottle sticking out of the sand. He picks it up, wipes it off and of co...

What animal can only survive in temperate climates?

A lukeworm.

*It's raining penny's and quarters*

Me:WTF is this

Climate:Change

ḱley (Proto-Indo-European)-> κλίμα, κλίνω (Greek)-> clima (Latin)-> climat (French)-> climate

Climate change is man-made.

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