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Cookbook Jokes

Did you hear the surviving Beastie Boys are publishing a cookbook?

It’s called “Foodborne Illness”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman went into a pet shop

to buy her husband a pet. After looking around she realized that all the pets there were very expensive. She went to the counter and questioned the clerk.

"I wanted to buy my husband a pet, but all of yours are so expensive," she said.

"Well,"said the clerk, 'I have a huge bullfrog i...

There's a new Asian cookbook out...

It's called 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog.

What's the title of Jeffrey Dahmer's cookbook?

"Come To Think Of It..."

I'd like 125 copies of the new cookbook about grits

Hominy?

What cookbook do they use in hell?

The Necro nom nom nomicon.

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I bought a chicken cookbook.

I didn't know the smart bastards were chefs.

Did you see Nicholas Sparks released a cookbook?

A Wok to Remember

What is Cthulhu's favorite cookbook?

The NecroNomNomNom!

Did you know that Stephen Hawking wrote a cookbook?

It's called A Brief History of Thyme.

My uncle wants to publish a cookbook that teaches people how to prepare nutritious and tasty meals using the kinds of meagre rations that are available in the aftermath of a hurricane/earthquake/flood/etc.

I told him it sounds like a recipe for disaster.

I've finally finished my fresh herb cookbook

It's about thyme

Two cannibals are discussing life…

One asks the other who was recently married, “Hey, how’s the married life treating you?”. The other cannibal says, “Not too bad, but my wife doesn’t know how to cook!”. The other cannibal says, “I just got a new cookbook. I’ll loan it to you. Give it a try!”.

A few weeks pass, and the first...

Why was the chef was devestated to find a recipe torn out of his cookbook?

...it was his main sauce of income.

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One day a Redditor decided to turn his life around...

The Redditor decided to buy a cookbook that came with the ingredients for a cake. He preheated the oven. He added in the butter and sugar; things were going well. The Redditor read out the instructions: ‘Add vanilla and eggs’. He added in the vanilla and cracked open an egg... nothing came out. He g...

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An old Jew is walking home from work

An old Jew is walking home from work and passes a fancy restaurant. He looks in the window and sees rich people talking and laughing as they eat delicious cheese blintzes.

The old man is inspired: "blintzes for dinner!" and continues his long walk home. When he gets home, he announced to his ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The wife and the gift frog

A woman is shopping for a pet as a gift for her husband, but she is concerned that the prices that the Pet Shop are charging are very high. She goes to the clerk and explains her concern. "Well, I have a frog in the back that I can let you have for $50," the clerk says. "$50?" the woman replies. "Th...

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