When I went out for a curry last week I saw that the menu had about 20 different types of curry on it.

So I asked for a clean one.

I recently read an article about the history of spices used in curry...

It was a cumin interest story.

Did you hear about the two drug users who injected curry powder thinking it was heroin?

One got a dodgy Tikka and the others in a Korma.

Tim Rice and Tim Curry are going to open an Indian restaurant together.

They plan to call it 'Tim's'

I made a curry last night and put ginger in it, kids weren't happy

They loved that cat

There was this musician in North Korea

One day, he was called upon by Kim Jong-Un himself, to compose a piece of music and have the great North Korean Orchestra play it live to him in the humble auditorium. The man, not wanting to displease the great leader, did as asked.

The big night arrived, with the musicians stood at the fro...

I tried Wookie curry for the first time last night

The flavour was alright but the meat was a bit chewy.

An airplane was about to crash

There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes.The 1st passenger said, 'I am Steph Curry, the best NBA basketball player. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die.' So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.

The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump, said, 'I am...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dictator once asked a famous composer if he could write him a brilliant piece of music.

Naturally, the composer was extremely nervous, as the dictator had a habit of giving the death penalty to those who did not please him.

The composer spent weeks working on this piece, and from a musical standpoint it was quite good. So, he gathered his orchestra and performed his piece for th...

What's Ferris Bueller's favourite curry?

chicken-tikkahhhhhhhhhhh

What do you accuse someone who keeps putting their curry recipes on Reddit?

Korma Farming.

I snorted curry powder once.

It nearly put me in a korma.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of the British national daily newspapers was asking readers: "What it means to be British?".

Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner.
 
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish furniture and watch
Americ...

Just finished eating a beaver curry...

It's like a normal curry, but otter.

A vegetarian lady looked at my mutton curry and said, "You know, a sheep died so you could have that."

I looked at her salad and responded, "Maybe she died because you keep eating all her food!!"

Man walks into a library and orders an incredibly hot curry.

"This is a library", says the librarian

"Oh, sorry", replies the man

"*I'd like to order an incredibly hot curry please*", he whispers

Where does Vin go after eating a really hot curry?

Da loo.

I fainted in the curry house when I heard R.E.M had split up

That's me in the Korma

A red curry and a green curry had a fight....

There was no winner...it was a Thai.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong-Un decided to have a big celebration.

[Long]
He wanted this to be an amazing event, so he made sure to hire the best orchestra around. The director was world renowned to have the most amazing musicians.


The day of the celebration came, but when the orchestra started to play, it was terrible. Kim was so mad, he ordered the...

What do you call LSD covered in curry powder?

Tandoori trippin'

Hey, Jude what kind of bread would you like with your curry?

Naan, naan, naan, naan, naan, naan, naan...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once a dictator chose a musician to compose a piece of music.

The musician not wanting to displease the dictator accepted the offer.

One month after the day came. The orchestra shited in the name of music. The dictator got furious and gave him a death sentence. They gave him a spicy curry as his last wish. He sat on the electric chair. They electrocuted...

In order to put a bit of flavour in my vegan curry I put ginger in it

.

The neighbours bloody loved that cat but my curry was bang on!

Why is there no more curry in Afghanistan?

Because there's a thali ban.

What side dish does George Michael ask for with his curry?

Well I guess it would be rice

They say Stephen Curry is the best shooter.

Legend has it that he got his wife pregnant from 30 feet away.

Stephen Curry the dog

A man walks into a pet shelter, looking for a dog


he asks the worker for an interesting dog

"well, we have this attack dog owned by Stephen Curry, who named him after himself.

Watch this: Stephen Curry! The rag!"

The dog ripped apart the rag he was holding

"St...

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An old Indian joke. Hope it wasn’t posted before!

A man enters a scientific convention on a whim and there he hears the speaker raising a question to the audience.

“What is the fastest thing known to man?”

The scholars decide to give different answers based on their area of expertise.

The philosopher knowing they can defend t...

NASA does not curry favor

neither does it favor Curry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Telling your date that she reminds you of your ex is a bit like farting after a curry.

It's risky and is probably not best done during a blowjob.

Just saw A blonde running down the street.

She had an arm full of chicken tikka masala.

I think she got mixed up when her friend said,

today we are going to rob Curry's.

For Americans and other English Tongue out there.

( Curry's in England is an electrical store.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Had a curry last night

'My arse is burning after that curry last night' I said to my wife.

'Ring sting?' she said.

'What's he going to do about it?' I replied.

What do you call an Indian in a Ferrari?

A curry in a hurry

I went to a curry house and ordered the pelican curry

It was really nice but the bill was massive

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last night at an Indian diner the server walks up to me and asks "Curry Ok Sir?"

I said "Alright, just one song and then you can fuck off".

My friends compare my luck with the ladies to Steph Curry...

I ball pretty hard but I still hit 3's like it's going out of style

I am surprised how Stephen Curry's back isn't broken...

From carrying all of the Golden State Warriors' bandwagoners

What do you call an Indian food delivery service?

A Curryer

My dad had an accident once eating curry

He slipped into a korma.

Two British Raj colonels are sitting at a table, enjoying a cup of tea and a warm bowl of curry

The first colonel turns to the other and says

"Why I say, this India land is extraordinary!"

The second colonel replies;

"Quite so, but there's just one issue"

"What's that?"

Looking outside onto the street, the second replies;

"Too many damn foreigners!"

A kid playing tag runs up to Tim Curry and says...

you're IT

Beaver curry

A Canadian is showing his English friend around his hometown.

Canadian: "Have you ever tried beaver curry?"

Englishman: "Beaver curry,!?"

Canadian: " Yeah, it's like normal curry, but just a bit otter."

What's the fastest curry in the world?

Usain Balti..

A Conductor composes am orchestra for king Jon un himself.

It takes them weeks, and it is the best orchestra that North Korea has ever seen. But when it came time to show him their original masterpiece, they flop. It’s absolutely horrible. So king Jon un sends the conductor to the electric chair to be executed.

The conductor is asked what he wishes f...

The kids were really suprised when I put ginger in their curry...

...they really *did* love that cat.

> Stolen from a recent episode of *Match Of The Day*

What is the favorite food of the cannibal who only ate scientists?

Marie Curry

Indian people are a lot like Russian people.

They're always in a curry.

What do passionate Indian chefs and functional programmers have in common when they are exhausted?

They curry on.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wish the name of a business would describe what it sells...

Curry's doesn't sell curries, dominos doesn't sell dominoes, and the virgin megastore, what a disappointment.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Golden State Warriors flew to Jamaica to play an exhibition game against a local team.

The Warriors kept on losing the ball and missing easy shots. Kerr, the Warriors' coach was furious, but the players said that the balls were too small, and kept slipping out of their hands.



By the end of the half, they were down by 20 points, with Steph Curry, the Warriors' captain...

WW2 joke

Germany: Do you like chicken?
England: No
Germany: Do you like curry?
England: No
Germany: Then you won't like what I did
England: Did you make curry chicken?
Germany: No I invaded Poland

A guy walks into a library, goes up to front desk and in quite a loud voice says,.....

"Could I get a yellow chicken curry, a pad thai and two serves of steamed rice please?"

The librarian is a bit shocked, and in a whispered voice that none the less conveys her displeasure with the gent says, "Sir, you need to be quiet, this is a library, not a restaurant!!"

The guy loo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fine conductor.

A dictator approaches one of his country's finest musicians, and asks him to compose a piece of music to be played by an orchestra in front of the country's ruling class.

The musician, not wanting to displease the glorious leader, sets to work immediately, and writes one of the greatest piece...

Which NBA player has moves like a mouse?

S. Curry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong Un asked a well known North Korean composer to create a piece for him

The composer had many months to find people to play, and to write a piece. Once it was performed on stage, it sounded terrible. The players werent synchronized, and they were all playing the wrong notes. That night the composer was set to be executed.

Before the composer was put in the electr...

I found a recipe for a fruit curry that I wanted to try out.

I made a list of all the ingredients that I needed and headed to the shop. I picked up some rice, some mango chutney, some curry powder and some raisins.

Upon returning I checked my list again to make sure that I had gotten everything that I needed. To my dismay, the recipe had called for sul...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time a bloke asked a girl "Will you marry me" The girl said "NO"......AND THE BLOKE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER......

AND RODE MOTORCYCLES
AND WENT FISHING
AND WATCHED FOOTBALL
AND DRANK BEER
AND ATE CURRY
AND LEFT THE TOILET SEAT UP
AND FARTED
AND HAD A WANK WHENEVER HE WANTED.
THE END

If I worked at an Indian restaurant I wouldn't ingratiate myself with the boss in order to influence menu choices.

I don't think it's right to curry favour for curry flavour.

How much cash can you make robbing an Indian restaurant?

As much as you can curry.

A hen is having a talk with its chick

Chick: Why do humans get names but we don't? We are only called hens, or chickens or roosters.

Hen: Well, WE might not get names but when we die, we have many names. Humans on the other hand, are only called zombies or ghosts.

Chick: What are we called when we die then?

Hen: ...

Me: Do you like broccoli?

"No."
"Do you like curry?"
"No."
"Then you won't like what I did?"
"Did you cook broccoli or curry for me?"
"No, I banged your sister."

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