Ugly Patient

A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no man will come near me and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?" "I'm sure I can," the psychiatrist replied...

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband.

Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.
When he came to senses, he motioned for her to come near him.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you...

A goat gets his wish granted by a genie.

He wishes to be turned into a human being.After his transformation, the, now, man is so grateful to the genie.He asks ‟How can I ever repay you?”

The genie just has this request: That the man make the most of his life and live like no man has lived before; love like no man has loved before; a...

It’s confirmed . Fresh cow dung can stop corona

Dip both your hands in fresh cow dung before going out.

This will make sure that

a) you will not touch your eyes, nose, ear or mouth.

b) nobody will shake hands with you.

c) Nobody will come near you when you are out in the streets.

d) You will wash your hands thor...

Man walks around with a dead fish in his pocket instead of wearing a mask

In thier community almost all of them caught the virus and this guy never did. The community head was curious and invited him to learn his secret and to talk to him as the smell was harassing this community.
Man came to the head's with the dead fish in pocket.

Man: I will talk to you only...

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A notorious womanizer left a trail of broken hearts behind him, until he betrayed the wrong woman - a practicing witch.

The morning after she caught him with another girl, he awoke with an itchy bump in the middle of his forehead. He thought it was a pimple, but it continued to grow to ridiculous proportions throughout the day. In a panic, he sought the advice of a physician, who examined the man and ran tests on the...

How do you remember to put on deodorant every morning?

I don't know but you probably shouldn't come near me

Priest Gets his wish

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

“Yes, Father?” said the nurse.

“I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die,” whispered the priest.
“I’ll ...

Mary Poppins Decided To Grow Some Vegetables

Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables. When she picks her crop in the autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions, and spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have grown a treat.

She picks them, cooks some for Sunday lunch in a cheese sauce, and they taste wonderful.

After ...

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A Rainy Day.

A woman invites her boyfriend to her house for dinner.
She tells him "Come over for dinner, but just know, there's a huge fight going on at home about who's going to do the dishes, and the dishes haven't been done for like, 20 days. And we've made a pact that the first person to speak in the hou...

A ladiesman and his friend were in a club...

The friend asked him if he could show him on of his tricks. The ladiesman smiled and pointed to a girl across the dancefloor and moved his index finger to let her to he wanted her to come near him

The lady got close and asked him "what's up". The ladiesman look her right in the eyes and told ...

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Guy walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder...

He goes up to the bartender and says, "Hey, this monkey here will eat *anything*. Pick something, anything, and this monkey will eat it."

Bartender looks at him, shrugs and says, "Uh, the whole bowl of bar nuts there."

"No, no, no," says the guy, "come *on*. Give him a *challenge*."...

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Don't talk during dinner!

A man is on his way to his girlfriend's house to meet her parents for the first time. She had already warned him that they are different and not to say one word during dinner, wait until after dinner to talk.
As he is walking to her house he sees a motorcycle for sale, it's used but the paint j...

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