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Dairy Product Jokes

What is Thanos' favorite dairy product?

Half and Half

My new girlfriend told me she doesn’t eat dairy products.

I said “No whey!”

What do you get when you cross a joke with a celestial Greek dairy product?

Apollo cheese for the punchline.

What do you call an Arab who built his wealth by selling dairy products?

A milk-sheikh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dairy product truck clashed and everything inside went flying out.

That's when I saw butter fly.

What's the favorite dairy product of Wall Street executives?

1% milk

It's 1980 in the Soviet Union

The economic situation is absolutely dire. Leonid Brezhnev, General Secretary of the Communist Party, calls an emergency party meeting to discuss solutions.

"Comrades," Brezhnev begins, "according to our projections, within 2 years we will have run out of meat! What do you propose we do, comr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met a sorceress in the desert once

She told me I could have all the churned dairy products and preserved fruit I could ever want, but first I had to marry her and sign a legally binding agreement that she would get it all back if we ever got divorced

Until that day I'd never believed the legends of the prenup butter and jelly ...

Once upon a time, Spanish galleon was sent to rescue some farmers and their cows in a settlement...

...they arrived on schedule and picked up the farmers and their cows, which took up half of the cargo hold. As the journey continued, they miked the cows, eventually filling up the remainder of the hold with various dairy products.

Finally, they reached their destination, but before they wer...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Family First (original joke)

Mr. Scott Lood was a poor little farmer from Illinois who paid the bills by churning butter all day and all night. He came from a family of dairy farmers: his father was a cream maker, and his father before him a cheese maker. There was little money to be made in this line of work- so little in fact...

A man went to the doctor asking what he could do to live longer.

The doctor asked him some preliminary questions.

"Do you drink much?"

"No, Doctor."

"Do you smoke?"

"No, Doctor."

"Do you stay up late or go to wild parties?"

"No, Doctor."

"Do you eat fatty or sugary foods?"

"No, Doctor."

"Do you consum...

Sweet dreams

My father used to tell me that to have a good night's sleep, he must insult dairy products, but he always felt it wasn't his place to yell at cheeses.

I never questioned him until one day I couldn't stand it anymore and asked him why he felt that way

He looked me in the eye and said: "...

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