The 24+ Best Fungus Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call the fungus that grows on sex toys?

Dildew.

Did you know that a fungus is responsible for rodents' high pitched noises ?

It's called mice-helium.

I made a video about the symbiotic relationships between fungus and algae

Don't forget to lichen subscribe!

The kind of joke that should have been invented by a six year old, but instead by me, a thirtysomething: What kind of fungus grows on a cow?

a mooooshroom

(I don't know if I can actually claim credit as an inventor of this joke, but I've never heard it anywhere)

Want to know how someone with foot fungus feels?

Just step into their shoes.

What’s a fungus’ favorite cookie?

SPOREOS

I had a foot fungus I was going to try to get rid of

But then it really started growing on me.

At first I didn't really care for this toenail fungus...

...but it's really starting to grow on me!

While practicing writing with my kids, we wanted to write the word FUNGUS, but ended up writing FUNGI instead...

There wasn't Mushroom on the page.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a fungus was being mean

would you call it a shit-talky mushroom?

How much room do you need to grow fungus?

As mushroom as possible.

You know, I used to hate my foot fungus...

But it’s slowly growing on me

I used to always find foot fungus to be quite repulsive.

But after a while, it grew on me.

Why wasn’t the fungus invited on the road trip?

Because there wasn’t mushroom.

Please don’t blame my seven year old for this, it was written by an adult.

Have you met the charismatic fungus on my feet?

He really grows on you.

Why does the fungus always win the argument?

They don't leave mushroom for debate

What did the fungus say to the tree?

I think I've taken a lichen to ya.

A pothead was looking to expand his horizons and bought himself some mushrooms. He asked his friends if he should roll it up or put it into a pipe.

Neither, his friends said, it's a Non-Tokeable Fungus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

These are genuine clips from council complaint letters

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. it's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it h...

I would make a fungi fun-guy joke...

...but those are overused. Too bad there isn't mushroom for other fungus jokes.

A female fungus asked a male fungus to a date...

He replied, “I always knew I was a fungi.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Theee doctors are discussing their careers...

The dentist says, “I’ve worked on some of the nastiest mouths in my career, some people who didn’t brush their teeth for years, so disgusting it made me feel sick working on them.”

The podiatrist chimes in, “You think that’s bad? I’ve worked on people who never took care of their feet and ha...

A gem of a story from my grandfather.

My grandmother needed athlete’s foot cream so they went to a pharmacy to find some. The pharmacist didn’t speak a word of English and after about 5 minutes of trying to explain what my grandmother needed my grandfather gave up and walked out. 2 minutes later my grandmother walked out with the anti f...

Three hikers are in the woods...

...and they come across a rock with some strange life form growing on it.

The first hiker exclaims: "Wow, look at this amazing fungus!"

The second hiker replies: "Nah, that looks more like moss to me."

Says the third: "Well, I know what I'd lichen it to."

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.