I really didn't like this fungus joke at first

But it's growing on me

How much space does a fungus need to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why did fungus dislike...

Why did the fungus dislike anal sex?

Because there wasn’t mushroom

A female fungus asked a male fungus to a date...

He replied, “I always knew I was a fungi.”

Freddy the fungus and Alice the algae met one another and...

they took a lichen to each other

What did the algae say to the fungus about their symbiotic relationship?

I'm lichen it

What did the fungus say to the tree?

I think I've taken a lichen to ya.

What do you call a funny fungus?

A pungi.

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

A gem of a story from my grandfather.

My grandmother needed athlete’s foot cream so they went to a pharmacy to find some. The pharmacist didn’t speak a word of English and after about 5 minutes of trying to explain what my grandmother needed my grandfather gave up and walked out. 2 minutes later my grandmother walked out with the anti f...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

God and the Animal Crisis

One day God hears some ruckus coming from Earth and asks St Peter what it's all about.

St Peter, "The animals are all complaining and unhappy with how you have created them"

God "Alright, line them up. I will deal with this myself"

So first in line is the elephant.

God as...