A man threw some milk at my lactose intolerant friend

How Dairy!!!!

Sorry if that was a bit cheesy:)

What do you call a lactose-intolerant person’s farts?

Their dairy-air

What do lactose intolerant people call a collection of meat and cheese?

A shart tootery board

My wife is lactose intolerant...

so whenever she drinks milkshakes, it gives her the milk shakes.

My wife teases me with ice cream bc she knows I’m lactose intolerant.

She really milks it too.

Why do cows have hooves and not feet?

Because they lactose

Why am I lactose intolerant?

Cause you lac tose enzymes

I think Ponyboy from the Outsiders was lactose intolerant

He didn’t like Darry

Do you know how lactose-free milk is made?

It is made by adding toes to normal milk, so that way it no longer lactose.

I don't understand lactose intolerance ppl

Why can't they just tolerate it? It's not that hard.

I need to get a valentine's card for my lactose intolerant wife

But they're all too cheesy

Did you know lactose intolerance is a genetic thing?

Runs in the family.

I sure hope Pennywise isn't lactose intolerant...

He seems to eat a lot of Derry

I have a lactose intolerant friend who sells ice cream for a living.

He can’t take it, but he can dish it out.

I'm lactose intolerant, but I still eat chees because I'm not a barbarian.

I'm a cultured man

What is a lactose intolerant ativaxxer's worst nightmare?

Big Parma

A friend of mine one told me: "If you want a girl to like you, use cheesy pickup lines." That didn't really work for me.

Apparently all the girls I talk to are lactose intolerant.

What do you say to a lactose intolerant Mexican?

No whey Jose.

I used to date a girl who was lactose intolerant.

We broke up because she couldn’t stomach my cheesy jokes.

Pickup line : hello, are you lactose intolerant?

Just wanted to make sure, my pickup line is very chessy. .


I used that once...she laughed...her husband laughed i walked away...true story btw

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the lactose intolerant man drink chocolate milk with thc oil?

For shits and giggles

My friend told me he can’t drink milk. I asked him if he is lactose intolerant. He said he is actually allergic to the milk protein.

I said “No whey!”

TIFU by accidentally giving my girlfriend my sandwich that had extra cheese when she's lactose intolerant

Whoops, wrong sub.

Did you hear about the lactose intolerant man who ate a whole wheel of cheese?

it was not gouda for him later.

Cursed Warning

High-Lactose Cheeses are just minigun ammo for Lactose Intolerant people

I would give you guys a cheesy joke

But you're probably lactose intolerant.

Did you hear about the depressed lactose-intolerant woman?

She committed soya-cide.

Why couldn’t the cow get a pedicure?

Because he lactose

My younger brother took his life 3 years ago. Always a comedian, here’s his cheesiest joke

Farmesan the dairy farmer is feeling bleu because of a string of falls he's been suffering. He calls up his doctor, Dr. Edam JaColby, and tells him "Doc, I'm in so much paineer!"and schedules an appointment. So Farmesan carephilly stumbles over to the clinic. "You mozzarella needed to see me cause y...

I'm glad my wife is lactose intolerant.

We don't have to pose for pictures.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: how is your bacteria converted into lactose, mixed with some sugar and milk and fruit to give it that nice extra flavor?

Friend: It's called yogurt asshole

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think i'm lactose intolerant

I've had 6 milkshakes today and feel like crap.

Yo mama so dumb

She thought her indigestion was lactose intolerance living in the milky way.

Why have there been no alien sightings in our galaxy yet?

They're lactose intolerant

Not your dairy insect

An ant was walking around when it found a 5inch ant of his very same species:

- Why are youso big, it asked
- I drink a lot of milk

"Lactose in taller ant"

Why couldn't the boy look at the Milky Way?

He was galactose intolerant.

what did the lactose intolerant man say after eating an ice cream cone?

please excuse my dairy air

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When social media bans female boobs, but not men's, it shows a real intolerance...

lactose intolerance.

My grandpa hated people with less than 5 toes on each foot

He was lactose intolerant

What’s the difference between somebody who doesn’t drink milk and somebody who dislikes amputees?

One is lactose intolerant, the other is lack toes intolerant

[OC] Why cant milk cartons walk?

Because they lactose.

If Ice Cream Required a Prescription

Each scoop would cost $300 negotiated down to a mere $50.

It would only be available at the pharmacy across town.

You would have to buy 200 pounds at a shot and store it on your own.

There would only be one flavor, black licorice.

It'll take 20 years for a generic ice...

Life is like a box of chocolate

Lactose intolerant people aren't allowed

I went to eat at a Mexican restaurant with my friend Sara.

She had recently been diagnosed lactose intolerant, and hadn't eaten dairy in months, so I was a little surprised she wanted to eat there.

Before the server could even ask if we wanted an appetizer, Sara blurted out "I haven't had cheese in forever. Bring us a cheese dip, and don't even bothe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

the waiter

So a customer says to the waiter, "I'm a vegetarian, I'm allergic to gluten, I don't eat carbs, I'm lactose intolerant, and I'm allergic to nuts. What should I get?"

And the waiter says, "... the fuck out."

What’s the difference between someone who can’t eat cheese, and someone who hates amputees?

Ones lactose intolerant, the other is lack-toes intolerant

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A researcher was conducting a study on the effects of gore across various cultures

He selected an American, a European, and a Japanese man. To see the reactions of these people, he used a picture of a man with his toes freshly amputated.

The American man seemed a bit squeamish when presented with the picture, but otherwise he was okay.

The European man wrinkled his f...

Interesting Title Here

Pun time!!

Q: What do you call dental x-rays? A: Tooth pics.

Q: What do you call a group of babies? A: An infantry.

Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? A: He pasta away.

Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose.

Q: What do yo...

What is the cow equivalent of Netflix and Chill?

Lactose ‘n tolerance

Why can't milk wear sandals?

Because they lactose!

I worked with a guy on a building site...

I once worked with a guy on a building site who never wore steel toe caps. When I asked him why, he said he didn't them. Turns out he was lactose intolerant.

I almost got fired last month because the word got out that I was intolerant...

I had to explain all about lactose to the Human Resource department.

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