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Broth Jokes

What did the broth say to the corn starch?

You thicken me.

I went to the store for some beef broth

But they were all out of stock

How do you shock Chicken Broth?

with a soup-rise

In Australia they use kangaroo broth to make

Marsoupial

I over boiled some venison broth earlier...

It was deerly mist.

What did the beef broth say to the chicken broth?

What flavor au jus?

An old Jewish man walks into a restaurant

He orders some soup. The waiter quickly brings his soup but the old man doesn’t eat. The waiter returns after some minutes. “Excuse me sir. Is there something wrong with your soup?”
“Try it and find out.” The old man responded.
“Is the soup too cold?”
“Try it.”
“I-is it too hot?”
“Jus...

The worlds two largest manufacturers of broth seasoning cubes are merging.

It was a multi-bouillon dollar deal.

Why couldn't the indecisive man make broth?

There are a bouillon different ways to do it!

A chef accidentally put yeast in his broth

The result was soup rising

My work offered to fund my retirement account in soup exclusively...

...I'm the first person to have a Broth IRA.

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What do you call a restaurant where they let you stick your dick in the soup?

A broth-el

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Are You Sick?

A man takes a prostitute home for a few hours of fun. He immediately pulls up her dress and starts licking her pussy.

The woman grabs his hair and tells him to lick harder. The man complies but gets a piece of carrot in his mouth from her pussy. He wants to stop but the prostitute is begging...

What do you call a religious chef?

A man of the broth

A lone traveller, weary and famished from days on the road, stumbles across an old inn on a desolate mountain trail.

His eyes light up as he sees light coming from the windows, realizing he is about to enjoy his first hot meal in weeks.

He bursts through the doors of the inn and finds it bustling with activity. Every table is packed with patrons merrily drinking and feasting.

The traveller searches ...

What is the main ingredient of a fractal fondue?

Mandel broth


Ha ha ha
The puns I make up while working as a grocery cashier..

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A contrite nun takes a vow of silence...

She's confined to a small cell in the convent's basement.

After one year, Mother Superior says, "To reward your one year of silence, you are allowed to speak one word."

Shivering, the nun says "cold!" She was given a blanket.

A second year passed. "Another year, Sister. You...

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It was the 50th wedding anniversary between Mary and Gary.

Because of this special occasion, Mary thought that she will prepare nice dinner for her beloved one. She made his favourite soup and second course that they were eating on their first date. Evening comes, candles are burning and smooth jazz is playing in the background. They are looking into each o...

Two Irishmen Open A Pub...

Two Irish men opened a pub in Dublin.


They're open for three weeks, and *no one* comes in, they haven't had a **single** customer.


Finally, one Irishman turns to the other and says, "I've been thinking about our problem. I think we should open a Brothel."


The second ...

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A fine taster once entered a restaurant and challenged the restaurant owner.

He told the restaurant owner to serve him anything, and he'd be able to identify it. The restaurant owner accepted the challenge, and the starter meal was served. The guest tasted it, thought about it for a few seconds and then said: "This is a paté from a wild boar, duck and common quail. The wine ...

The Kings English

I take it you already know Of tough and bough and cough and dough? Others may stumble, but not you, On hiccough, thorough, slough and through.

Beware of heard, a dreadful word, That looks like beard but sounds like bird.

And dead: It’s said like bed, not bead -- For goodness’ sake, don...

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A man visits spain...

On a vacation in Spain, a guy goes to a bullfight. After a long fight, the bull finally collapses and the matador is victorious. Afterwards he's looking for somewhere to eat and he comes across a restaurant near the bullring. He goes in and takes a seat. He can't understand anything on the menu, so ...

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Three kingdoms lay on a triangle lake

One kingdom lies on each side of the lake. For decades, the king's had argued over it's true owner, each claiming to be the first kingdom to settle there, and many tales of magical swords and godly favours to claim divine right. Eventually, this story telling and legal battling came to no conclusion...

Aboriginal Rituals

A couple years back, I stumbled on a surprising reference to the astonishing longevity of Aboriginal shamans living in the Australian outback. Reliable birth records aren't available before the early 20th century, but government officials have noted an astounding number of nonagenarians and centenar...

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