When I looked at my alphabet soup, I thought I was in the red light district.

Turns out I just saw a broth L

The worlds two largest manufacturers of broth seasoning cubes are merging.

It was a multi-bouillon dollar deal.

What do you call a religious chef?

A man of the broth

I over boiled some venison broth earlier...

It was deerly mist.

What do you call a chance to try a fishy broth at a classy musical event?

An opera-tuna-tea.

My ears are still ringing from my wife’s groan.

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Three kingdoms border a lake in the shape of an obtuse triangle

One kingdom lies on each side of the lake. For decades, the king's had argued over it's true owner, each claiming to be the first kingdom to settle there, and many tales of magical swords and godly favours to claim divine right. Eventually, this storytelling and legal battling came to no conclusion,...

Why couldn't the indecisive man make broth?

There are a bouillon different ways to do it!

A chef accidentally put yeast in his broth

The result was soup rising

Where is the best place to buy chicken broth?

at the stock market

What did the beef broth say to the chicken broth?

What flavor au jus?

An old Jewish man walks into a restaurant

He orders some soup. The waiter quickly brings his soup but the old man doesn’t eat. The waiter returns after some minutes. “Excuse me sir. Is there something wrong with your soup?”
“Try it and find out.” The old man responded.
“Is the soup too cold?”
“Try it.”
“I-is it too hot?”
“Jus...

Aboriginal Rituals

A couple years back, I stumbled on a surprising reference to the astonishing longevity of Aboriginal shamans living in the Australian outback. Reliable birth records aren't available before the early 20th century, but government officials have noted an astounding number of nonagenarians and centenar...

The Kings English

I take it you already know Of tough and bough and cough and dough? Others may stumble, but not you, On hiccough, thorough, slough and through.

Beware of heard, a dreadful word, That looks like beard but sounds like bird.

And dead: It’s said like bed, not bead -- For goodness’ sake, don...

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A contrite nun takes a vow of silence...

She's confined to a small cell in the convent's basement.

After one year, Mother Superior says, "To reward your one year of silence, you are allowed to speak one word."

Shivering, the nun says "cold!" She was given a blanket.

A second year passed. "Another year, Sister. You...

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A man visits spain...

On a vacation in Spain, a guy goes to a bullfight. After a long fight, the bull finally collapses and the matador is victorious. Afterwards he's looking for somewhere to eat and he comes across a restaurant near the bullring. He goes in and takes a seat. He can't understand anything on the menu, so ...

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A fine taster once entered a restaurant and challenged the restaurant owner.

He told the restaurant owner to serve him anything, and he'd be able to identify it. The restaurant owner accepted the challenge, and the starter meal was served. The guest tasted it, thought about it for a few seconds and then said: "This is a paté from a wild boar, duck and common quail. The wine ...

What is the main ingredient of a fractal fondue?

Mandel broth


Ha ha ha
The puns I make up while working as a grocery cashier..

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It was the 50th wedding anniversary between Mary and Gary.

Because of this special occasion, Mary thought that she will prepare nice dinner for her beloved one. She made his favourite soup and second course that they were eating on their first date. Evening comes, candles are burning and smooth jazz is playing in the background. They are looking into each o...

Two Irishmen Open A Pub...

Two Irish men opened a pub in Dublin.


They're open for three weeks, and *no one* comes in, they haven't had a **single** customer.


Finally, one Irishman turns to the other and says, "I've been thinking about our problem. I think we should open a Brothel."


The second ...

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Sean and Seamus open a pub...

...but it's not very successful. In the first week they'd only gotten three customers.

By Saturday night and looking at an empty bar, Sean turns to Seamus and says, "See? I told you we should have opened a brothel."

Seamus says, "That's ridiculous. If they're not coming in for beer, th...

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