Chickpeas Jokes - 15 Hilarious Chickpeas Jokes

What's the difference between Black Eyed Peas and Chickpeas?

Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song and Chickpeas can only Hummus one.

A man was found dead in vat of ground chickpeas.

Police are considering it a hummus-cide.

I just killed a clan of chickpeas

It was a total hummuside

Everybody says that garbanzo beans and chickpeas are the same thing.

But I've never paid $25 to have a garbanzo bean on my chest.

This is pretty tame for me, but i can see how it might offend some, hence the NSFW tag.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m sexually attracted to mashed chickpeas

I’m a hummussexual

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the doctors and said I can only get sexualy stimulated by chickpeas and garlic

He said "don't worry, you're just humous-sexual"

I don’t understand how some people eat so many chickpeas.

I’d falafel.

What's the difference between chickpeas and lentils?

I've never paid $50 to have a lentil on my face.

i always manage to locate the best chickpeas, wherever i go...

my friends often tell me ive a great sense of hummus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone with a fetish for chickpeas?

A hummussexual.

Two chickpeas are walking down the road

When one suddenly starts throwing up.

“Hey man are you okay ?”

“no man I falafel”

Why do chickpeas hate being pulverized to bits and rolled into balls?

Because it makes them falafel.

Did you hear about the family of chickpeas that were killed while eating dinner last night?

It was ruled a hummicide.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend gets an erection whenever he sees chickpeas...

He's a hummussexual.

What do you call chickpeas cooked in a waffle iron?

Fawaffle!

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