NSFW What did the egg say to the boiling water?

I just got laid and you expect me to be hard in3 minutes?!?

Ever since I bought $GME shares, my wife won’t stop boiling chickens.

She likes the stock.

Whom did the German philosopher quote when his friend dipped his hand in boiling oil?

Johann Gottfried

The best soup stock is made by boiling chicken feet for hours and hours

After all, it's made from scratch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike

but he doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Honda road bike with a 'for sale' sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in...

What kind of business involves boiling knees, elbows and shoulders in vats of water?

A joint stock company

RIP Boiling Water.

You will be mist.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs boiling in a pot of water?

Stew

I really like boiling fruits for hours

That's my jam

What do you get when you pour boiling water into a rabbit hole?

Hot cross bunnies!

Happy easter everyone

The troubles of foreigners in Canada

A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.

"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."

"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."

"Wait a...

Why does a teapot whistle when it’s boiling?

Because it’s telighted!

A man working at a coffee manufacturing plant slips and falls into a vat of boiling hot coffee.

Friend: I can only imagine it was a slow death.
Wife: no. It was instant.

RIP boiling water

You will be mist.

What did the part First Nations, part French-Canadian pirate say after boiling a kettle on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey. I'm Métis. I made tea. I'm eighty.

What did the tied up lobster fear more than boiling water?

Claw-Strophobia

I love taking photos of myself standing next to boiling water.

My doctor says I have selfie steam issues.

I was boiling a lobster, and it started screaming...

I felt bad, so I drove it to the woods and set it free.

I was boiling a pot of water on max temperature

It went from 0 to 100 real quick

P.S sorry Americans

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Japanese chef ask to his boiling noodles?

Udon yet?

Tired of boiling water every time you make pasta?

Boil some at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two eggs boiling in a pot, one says bloody hot in here, the other says.

Wait till you get out there, they bash your fucking brains in.

What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?

A HIGH-POT-IN-USE

5 Jokes about Boiling Water

1. Perhaps I shouldn't joke on here about boiling water, it might be too steamy.
2. RIP Boiling Water. You will be mist.
3. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
4. What do you get when your pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies
5. One cannibal says ...

My mate just asked me if he could put a teabag in my mouth and fill me with boiling water.

He must think I'm some kind of mug.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What will you say?

A man is selling a colorful parrot and a beautiful woman comes and says "how much for the parrot?"
100$ he kinda speaks, says the man
The lady goes "can't it be a little cheaper?"
As they're negotiating the parrot looks at her and goes "owner, look at this girl! She's a damn prostitute! She...

Throwing a life preserver to someone drowning in boiling oil is a futile act...

Unless of course that life preserver is made of dough.

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