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Auditioned Jokes

A man auditioned for a talent show

A man auditioned for a talent show and when he walked on to the stage the judge asked him what was his talent. The man replied "I do bird impressions".The judge said "Thats not something we would be interested in". The man said "Thats ok" and flew out the window.

Leslie Nielsen auditioned for a specific role in Harry Potter.

But the casting director, unsure who this old actor was, told him :
— Shirley, you can't be Sirius.

I auditioned for a musical about the periodic table

I got the lead role!

Jack The Ripper once auditioned for a men's music group.

Apparently, he wasn't the sort of Backstreet Boy they were after.

Did you hear about the scissor that auditioned?

He didn't make the cut.

I auditioned to be on "The Biggest Loser"...

They told me "you win"

I auditioned to be on the remake of "Snow White"

but i was turned away as i wasn't on the short list

A mixed race man auditioned for the main part in a play, but he ended up only getting a minor role

He was half cast

When James Earl Jones auditioned for Darth Vader, George Lucas told him he had to have a Mid-Atlantic accent.

So, he went and bought a scuba air tank, and the rest is history.

I auditioned for a TV show for people with broken bones.

I didn't make the cast.

Job Fair I

I got a job at a company that makes fire hydrants, but I had to give it up. There was no place to park.

Then I went to work for a company at prints calendars. But I knew from the start that my days were numbered.

So I went to work for a moving company. They told me to vacate the premis...

I was pretty offended when I auditioned for American idol and was told by the critics “don’t quit your day job”

But I guess the joke was on them - I’m unemployed.

A man wins a chance to appear on a game show

A man won a chance to appear on a mystery game show. The chances were jeopardy, family feud, lingo, and the price is right. His wife a beautiful Spanish lady, the love of his life, told him that if he lost the game show she would divorce him because she couldn't handle the shame. So, he auditioned f...

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