There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.
They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.
The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."
The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.
The old country man then goes, "Tim...
A fool wearing an eye patch enters an archery contest
The contestants are told to hit the target in the distance. The guy wearing the eye patch picks up his bow, pulls back an arrow, and releases it. The arrow completely misses the target, goes in a totally different direction, and buries itself in the hat of one of the judges. The judge jumps up, shoc...
During my trivia game, I asked the contestants to define “defenestration”.
No one got it right, so I threw that question out the window.
I heard beauty pageant contestants use Vaseline to make it easier to smile.
I ate the whole jar and I’m still not happy.
The contestants of the Nashville beauty pageant enter the stage.
Infront of them is an audience of over 2000 and a judging panel consisting of one man, on his own, wearing an eyepatch.
Suddenly, the judge thrusts his arm out infront of him. He opens his hand out, and there, sitting in the middle of his palm is a bee staring intensely at the contestants on ...
Why are there only 49 contestants in the Miss America pageant this year?
No one wanted to wear a sash that says "I-da-ho."
There was once a poem contest...
Contestants were supposed to use the word **Timbuktu** in their poem. All contestants gave their best poems but then came along the priest and his poem was
*All along through my life*
*i had no children and had no wife*
*I read the Bible through and through*
The Infectious Disease Olympics has been cancelled as the first event was a complete disaster. All contestants drowned!!
Turns out Water Polio wasn't such a good idea.
Once Upon A Time there was a International Poets Contest. All the poets from across the lands came to compete bringing there best original work to compete against their peers. For 40 days and nights they competed eliminating Poet after Poet.
On the 40th day they had narrowed it down to only 2 poets. Both poets read poems back to back for 12 hours, each poem as good as the last. After the 12th hour the judge’s became exhausted and realized that this may never end as both poets were equally amazing. They had to decide a winner and they ha...
A russian village has a tradition...
...where each year they they hold a very unusal contest, that consists of 4 challenges: First, the contestants must down a bottle of vodka, then they must swim across an icy lake, third they must shake hands with a chained up wild bear on the other side, and finally they have to run to the closest v...
A king held a contest for all the men in the kingdom and the winner would get his beautiful daughter as his bride.
However, he didn't say what type of contest it was but his daughter's beauty drew many brave contestants.
Once gathered in his castle, he revealed a large moat filled with an assortment of beasts.
"The first man to cross the moat will inherit all my riches as well as my daughter. Who a...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A Girl and Her Sniper Rifle
I had a friend named Sierra once. She was a pretty chill girl. Really only had two defining characteristics about her though, her love of lemon-lime sodas and her innate marksmanship. She was a damn good crackshot.
Her dad was a bit of a gun nut. Owned lots of rifles including a classic...