Why is auto insurance so high for lap dancers?

Because of the high risk of being rear-ended.

What do exotic dancers call their colleagues?

Their co-twerkers

How do exotic dancers make money?

They go twerk.

What’s the difference between a circus and 5 female line dancers without panties?

I don’t know either, but one sure is a cunning array of stunts.

Why aren't dogs good dancers?

They've two left feet

Yesterday I tucked some receipts from Bitcoin into an exotic dancer's panties.

My first use of stripto currency.

A limbo dancer walks into a bar

He immediately got disqualified.

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How did the stripper know she was the most popular dancer at the club?

She took a poll.

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They say all the pretty Vegas dancers are really men.

I always questioned whether my Vegas dancing girlfriend really had a penis. Occasionally, there was something inside me that said, "Yes!"

There was a belly-dancer at a fancy Turkish restaurant last night!!!! We were all speechless & stunned.

I just wish he didn’t insist on doing an encore at our table.

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A man walking his dog comes across an old man sat on a park bench sobbing

He walks up to him out of concern, and says "Is everything OK?".

The old man says "Well not really".

"What's wrong?" says the man?

"Well a couple of weeks ago, I married this 30 year old exotic dancer. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. Every morning, she wakes me up...

What age were you when you realized you wanted to be a dancer?

I think I was around 5, 6, 7, 8

I met an exotic dancer the other night...

Pretty cool, I've never known anyone from Iowa before.

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My grandpa told me, "All you kids do these days is play video games."

"When I was your age", he continued, "my buddies and I went to Paris; we went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, we didn't pay for our drinks all night and when the bartender complained we pissed on him”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the M...

What kind of monster is the best dancer?

The boogieman

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What do you call exotic dancers in a politically unstable region in the Middle East?

Gaza Strippers

With bars reopening, exotic dancers can once again bring home the bacon...

...but only one strip at a time.

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A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner:

"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation. They should be e...

They say I have the legs of a dancer..

##

but until they find the rest of the body the cops have got nothing on me man!

Did you know that cows are some of the world’s best dancers?

They’ve got all the moves.

Why do flamenco dancers make the best fishermen?

Because they know how to castanet

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From an old cowboy who frequents my watering hole (hopefully not too country for y'all)

A woman from New York dreams of one day exploring the wild west. After a year of saving and pinching pennies she finally has enough money to make her dreams come true.

After an exciting three weeks she returns home and meets with her girlfriend for drinks.

Her girlfriend asks "How wa...

First day as a cop:

Newbie cop: Suspect is dancing naked on the plaza, I repeat, suspect is dancing naked

Dispatch: Roger, copy that

Newbie cop: ...I can try but I'm not much of a dancer?..

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Iraqi girls are really good hip hop dancers

They really know how to Baghdad ass up

NSFW Guy is in the front row at the strip club.

NSFW

He’s quietly drinking and tipping the dancers when a particularly beautiful girl comes out and begins a sensual strip tease. The guy behind him immediately starts whooping and calling out, “yeah baby! take it off! Take it off!! woo hoo!”

As she gets completely naked and leaves the...

Who's the scariest dancer ever?

The Boogie Man

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How I got banned from the strip club for giving a tip. (Long story)

I saw this patron at the club often buying a hundred pack of one dollar bills.

He would break open the pack and toss them all up in the air and shout **"Let it Rain"**

All the girls would scramble to pick up all the money and all you saw was ass and titts eveywhere for about 20 second...

As an Irish-American, I don't appreciate being called a "river dancer" by my own family doctor

Doctor: I said you have liver cancer

A pianist, a dancer and an alcoholic are attending a party

The doorman asks the pianist "what are you here for?", "I'm here to play music" and the doorman directs him to the instruments on stage.

The doorman asks the dancer "what are you here for?", "I'm here to get my groove on" and the doorman directs him to the dance floor.

The doorman asks...

I used to be a tap dancer

Until I fell in the sink

A man finally gets the girl of his dreams

After she yes to dating him, he’s so ecstatic he takes her to the mall to go shopping. And after a few minutes of shopping, he notices the line for the cashier stretched long, around the mall. But he’s too excited to care for long.

Next his girlfriend suggests lunch, which both are quite hung...

Why do dancers like loose fitting trousers?

They’re better for ball room.

Rudolph had to ask Santa why Dasher and Dancer are always taking coffee breaks?

Santa: Because those two are my star bucks.

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An American spy comes into a Soviet bar

And orders a drink.

"No drink for US spies" said the barkeep.

The spy goes pale. He pulls out a bottle of Vodka and drains it in one big gulp.

"You drink like Russian, but you are American spy"

The spy pulls out his accordeon and plays a wonderful Russian folk song, every...

My wife and I were at a show watching a beautiful dancer on stage...

Wife: Did you just wolf-whistle when she did the splits?

Me: Um no, it was probably just trapped air escaping.

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What do disco dancers use to stimulate sexual desire?

Afro-disiacs

thanks, i'll be here all week, unfortunately

What playing cards are the best dancers.

The king and queen of clubs.

Why do morris dancers wear bells?

So the blind can be irritated by them as well

Why was Al Gore scientifically a great dancer?

Because of his Al Gore Rythyms.

Inspector: What do you see ?

Sub-inspector: Idk why but, the suspect is dancing naked in the middle of the street

Inspector: copy that



Sub-inspector: I'm not much of a dancer, but I'll try my best.

Table Dancer

A man goes to a bar and sees a 'larger' girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

I wonder if Tap Dancers

Ever look at a floor and think “Yeah, I’d tap that! I’d tap that hard!!”

Genie grants three wishes...

A paralegal, an associate, and a partner of a prestigious law firm are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you one." "Me first!" says the paralega...

Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket?

Because he didn’t think anyone could stoop so low.

How many dancers does it take to change a light bulb?

Five… six… seven… eight!

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Why musicians start on 1-2-3-4 while dancers start on 5-6-7-8?

Because those twats are always late.

Why do Irish dancers only dance with their legs?

Cause all the arms have been decommissioned.

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Did you hear about the dancer that was killed in the stripper bar?

Now the place is haunted with en-titties.

In what way is the future generation of fortnite dancers like alcohol?

They’re both depressants

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Professional butt dancers are just like you and I

They get up, get ready and go t’werk

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I'm going to open a strip club where the dancers rap.

And call it titty bars

I tried to be a tap dancer

but I kept falling in the sink!

(thank you, british uncle ken for that dry humor)

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Three women go out to a nightclub to see male dancers

One of the women wants to impress the others, so she pulls out a $10 bill and waves the dancer over. She licks the $10 bill and sticks it to his left buttock Not to be outdone, the second woman pulls out a $20 bill, licks it, and slaps it on the other cheek. The dancer looks down at the third woman...

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A bartender notices one of his costumers hasn’t paid for his drink, so he asks to see his money.

The man says, “If I show you a miracle, will you give me the drink for free?” The bartender agrees.

The man reaches into his pocket, pulls out a hamster, and sets it on the bartop. It immediately starts dancing. This hamster is the most incredible dancer the bartender has ever seen, so he say...

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Stormy Daniels was arrested for breaking an Ohio law that prohibits "anyone who isn’t a family member from touching a nude dancer."

I for one, am glad that we still live in a country where a son can still touch his mother while she dance for him.

Dasher, dancer, prancer, and vixen.

The four stages of Bruce Jenner.

A young kid from the inner city only ever dreamed of being a dancer

Lacey worked really hard and started to gain some attention until a tragic accident destroyed her left knee. She lost her job at the dance company and thus her insurance, leaving her with a shattered knee and broken dreams.

Then she saw a commercial for these brand new knee replacements, Mah...

Irish line dancers have superior form

Hands down.

I finally figured out why your sister is not a ballet dancer...

Because every time she does a split, she sticks to the floor.

I thought I could never be a good dancer until I discovered Dance Dance Revolution. Though I've only really mastered one move,

it's a step in the right direction.

good dancer

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.

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Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers.

Most strippers have little or no coverage.

What is the most common death among square dancers?

Over Do-se-do.

What do you call a Satanist dancer?

A ba'al-erina.

Did you hear about that girl from Boston who got in trouble for being a bad dancer?

She told her parents that she was an erratic dancer.

Why aren't Pokémon very good dancers?

They can only learn 4 moves.

What's the difference between a belly dancer and an incompetent pastry chef?

One shakes body parts and the other bakes shoddy tarts.

Why does the left foot get all the blame if you're a poor dancer? "Oh, you have two left feet. Hur hur hur"

I guess it is #rightprivilege

What did the animal control officer ask the Hawaiian dancer?

Hula the dogs out?

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My son, 9 years old told me these jokes on different days and I wrote them all down as he told them.

What did the the dancer say when he found proof:

he found evi-dance

What did the lazy person buy at the store?

A Nap-kin

What is a goldfishes favorite story?

Goldilocks

What did the musician say when he was safe?

I’m safe and SOUND.

What do bu...

Why are hula dancers so pretentious?

Because their hips stir.

Why do bad break-dancers get reduced prison sentences?

Time served

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The Party

After his divorce, Jeff rented a cabin in Montana for the summer to write his first novel. He got up each morning, made coffee, and would go outside and sit by a stream before going back in and writing all day. One August afternoon he was startled by a knock on the door.

“Hey,” said the man....

If I win the lottery, I'm going to give all the money to charity.

After all, she's my favourite dancer down at the Jiggly Hut.

I'm not a great lap dancer,

I've got two left cheeks.

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My British coworker

My British coworker is new to America, and he delights in telling me and my other coworkers about all things British. Today he was trying to explain Cockney rhyming slang - things like saying "have a butcher's" instead of "have a look", because "butcher's hook" rhymes with "look"; or "a cup of Ro...

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Three kingdoms border a lake in the shape of an obtuse triangle

One kingdom lies on each side of the lake. For decades, the king's had argued over it's true owner, each claiming to be the first kingdom to settle there, and many tales of magical swords and godly favours to claim divine right. Eventually, this storytelling and legal battling came to no conclusion,...

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You've never heard of the 10th Reindeer?

The first eight are Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen.

The 9th is Rudolth the red nosed reindeer, and the 10th is the jerk called Olive.

Why do i call him a jerk? You know... Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names.

My wife suggested I get an erection enhancer .

So I did.

Her name is Tamy, shes a 21 yr old dancer

An Englishman, Irishman, Welshman, Scotsman were captured while fighting in a far-off foreign land,

and the leader of the captors said, "We're going to line you up in front of a firing squad and shoot you all in turn. But first, you each can make a final wish."

The Englishman responds, "I'd like to hear "God Save The Queen" just one more time to remind me of the auld country, played by the ...

I like to wash my dishes to the sound of music

I guess that makes me a tap dancer

I love dances at weddings ...

Especially since I'm not a great dancer. Most of the songs tell you what to do. Like when they play "Do The Twist," you twist. They play "Jump Around", you jump around ... There was, however, that unfortunate night I got kicked out when the DJ played "Come On Eileen."

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A bus full of blind people was traveling on the road.

After driving for a long time, the bus driver gets tired and needs to rest. He parks the bus near a cafeteria.

"I'm going to eat lunch and take a rest," the driver says to the blind passengers. "I'll come back in an hour."

"No problem," says one of the blind men. "We'll play soccer whi...

Did you hear about the young american indian frog tribe?

They were tad-pole dancers.

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman all get caught by the Iraqis. Sounds painful, but the head captor tells them "You are all to be shot- but it is tradition and a mark of honour to grant the first four prisoners of war whatsoever they wish before they are executed."...

...The Welshman says "Well then. It'd be bladdy magic to hear an 'undred members of the Welsh male voice choir all singing 'Land of my Fathers'. Smashin'. Yaki Da!."

The Scotsman says "Wehw, Ah wanna hund'ed bag-pipers aw playin' 'Flower of Scotland'."

Then the Irishman says "Oi tink O...

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How Bangkok became the capital of Thailand

Long ago there was a king of Thailand, and he unfortunately passed away due to old age. However the people of Thailand saw this as an opportunity to grow and create a capital and have a new young robust leader.

The people decided to go to the surrounding tribes and select a few fit young men ...

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