During my piano recital, some of the black keys stopped working.

It was a flat out disaster.

I can’t believe I was late to my own piano recital.

I just couldn’t find my keys

Lets face it English is a stupid language There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England

French Fries Were Not Invented In France.

We Sometimes Take English For Granted

But If We Examine Its Paradoxes We Find That:

Quicksand Takes You Down Slowly

Boxing Rings Are Square

And A Guinea Pig Is Neither From Guinea Nor Is It A Pig.

If Writers Write, H...

I messed up during a guitar recital.

I didn't think it was a big deal, bit it turned out to a A Major mistake...

I accidentally played the wrong note during a piano recital

It wasn't very sharp of me.

Did you see Kylo Ren at his recital?

I heard he killed the solo.

My wife asked if I was coming to our daughter's dance recital...

I was, but I paused the video, pulled up my pants, and denied it.

A university has been accused of not having enough people of colour on their competitive speech recital team.

To tackle the problem they took a bunch of students and covered them in body paint.

They now claim they have achieved their dye varsity quoters.

Why did the dinner roll and her friends go to so many ballet recitals?

Because they were in abundance.

ENGLISH IS A FUNNY LANGUAGE

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant not ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English fo...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the bagpipe recital

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Saved Man and the Clairvoyant

DISCLAIMER: I'm pretty sure I had read this joke here before, but I was reminded of it today so I'm going to "pay homage" to it by doing my best recital of it. It's long.

A man walks into a pub, orders himself a pint, and sits at a small table in the corner by himself. He enjoys his beer for...

A concert pianist makes mistakes during a performance

Over and over the renowned musician kept making little blunders here and there, and critics in the audience were very aware. After the recital, one commentator said, "no disrespect, but you played everything from memory and had quite a few slip-ups. Just having a bad night?"


Looking a lit...

A girl had taken singing lessons from a famous teacher.

He was present at her recital, and after it was over she was anxious to know his reaction.

He didn't come back to congratulate her, and so she asked a friend, "What did he say?"

Her loyal friend answered, "He said that you sang heavenly."

She couldn't quite believe that her tea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a missionary is spreading the word

of God as he see it in the deepest darkest parts of the African jungle. Since companionship is scarce, he entertains himself in the evenings by sitting outside his crude shelter and playing his violin.

As time passes he notices that the animals have begun to come out of the jungle when he pla...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This prostitute is giving a guy oral in his car...

...the guy makes her mad so she bites his penis off and spits it out the window. It flies out the car and slams onto the windshield of the car behind them, where a father is driving his 8 year old to dance recital.
"Daddy, what *was* that?"
The father, knowing exactly what it was, stammers a...

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