UPJOKE
collectiontroupequartetphilharmonicbandmusicchorusorchestrachoirvocalchoralturnoutpercussiontriocappella

“How much to buy a singing ensemble!?” I asked the clerk. Puzzled, he questioned, "You mean a choir?"

“Fine, how much to acquire a singing ensemble!?”

A guy asks his friend "How much would it cost to buy a singing ensemble?"

The friend replies with "You mean a choir?"

To which the man says "Sorry, how much to acquire a singing ensemble?"

The Violin Ensemble playing in Carnegie Hall somehow got an R-18 rating...

The censors say it contains explicit scenes of violins encore.

[dad joke warning] The air ensemble

Note: this happened in morning between father and teenage son while he is dropped off to school...


Father: why am I dropping you off so early?

Son: I need to practice, remember?

Father: No, why?

Son: I am on the wind ensemble!

Father: Ah, yes! You do break a lo...

Two men are discussing a business transaction.

Buyer: "How much does it cost to buy a singing ensemble?"

Seller: "You mean a choir?"

Buyer: \**visibly frustrated*\* "Fine, how much does it cost to *acquire* a singing ensemble?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde cop is patrolling the highway when she sees a blonde motorist weaving in and out of traffic.

The cop pulls over the motorist and asks for her ID. Note that the motorist was wearing a pink ensemble and that the cop was in uniform when the incident happened.

Cop: May I see your ID, ma'am?

Motorist: What's an ID?

Cop: It's a rectangle with a picture of your face on it.
...

Did y'all hear about the accident during the Kowloon Percussion Festival?

There was a tamtam ensemble that was playing a piece, and one of the instruments fell off its stand and rolled into the crowd, injuring a few people.

Headlines were "Hong Kong Gong Song Gone Wrong"

What does Captain America say when he wants an orchestra?

Avengers, ensemble!

So yesterday I wore a costume....

I am a male and I wore a see through shirt and pants. I completed my ensemble with a stuffed bra, long haired wig and lipstick. I pushed a baby doll around all night in a stroller holding the baby bottle....

I was a transparent transparent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saw an Iranian joke and I want to share my favorite.

An ensemble of musicians is auditioning for a caliph's court. After the ensemble is ushered in, they perform a beautiful set lasting approximately an hour, complete with long improvisations. The caliph is very pleased and says, "Servants! I order you to fill these men's music instruments with pricel...

What does Optimus Prime say when he wants a symphonic band?

"Autobots, ensemble!"

How to start an orchestra

Let's say you've got your woodwinds, strings and brass ensemble to start an orchestra.

However, you realize that you have no percussion and now your dreams of performing a Space Oydessy have been crushed.

A quick fix to not let your dreams be dreams is to buy tons of pillows.

Al...

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