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Rehearsing Jokes

I think my wife is rehearsing for an Opera

Every time she opens her mouth, all I hear is Me, Me, Me, Me, Me.

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The municipal philharmonic symphony and chorus were rehearsing....

The municipal philharmonic symphony and
chorus were rehearsing Symphony No. 9 by Ludwig Von Beethoven. Since
the chorus doesn't enter until the final movement, the singers were
becoming very bored - especially the men in the back row. Then the
basses had a clever idea. During break, th...

I'm worriedā€¦

I havenā€™t seen or heard from my imaginary girlfriend since she started taking mime classes.

Iā€™m not sure if she is rehearsing, or if she has left me.

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An actor rehearsing on stage was going on and on about the colors "No, THIS is where you illuminate the stage with sunflower yellow, and HERE is when you fade to chartreuse!" he said, tapping emphatically on the manuscript. Opening day came, and the actor found himself now fully and completely in

The lemon-limelight

So two orchestral conductors were walking down the road...

One turns to the other and says: "Was that your piccolo player I saw you rehearsing with last night?"

The other conductor replies: "That was no piccolo! That was my fife!"

*I'll see myself out. Ow! Stop throwing things.*

A man dies and goes to heaven

He is assigned to an orientation angel, and along with other newly-arrived souls, they go on a tour around heaven.

"Here we have the genius section, where you will find many famous scientists, philosophers and artists having discussions, holding lectures and carrying out their life's work. Ov...

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I'm Hark, I hear the cannons roar

An out-of-work actor gets a call from his agent one day. "Iā€™ve got you a job," says his agent. "Thatā€™s great," says the actor, what is it?" "Well," says his agent, "itā€™s a one-liner" "Thatā€™s okay," replies the actor, "Iā€™ve been out of work for so long Iā€™ll take anything that isn't a porn role. It is...

So there was an angry band director...

His band wasnā€™t super good, but they managed. One day, they were rehearsing, when a flute player messes up a part. They keep messing it up, and he gets so frustrated he stabs the flautist to death with his baton.
He goes to prison, and gets sentenced to death by electric chair. Before he goes in...

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A Picket to Tittsburgh

I was at the local bus station to buy a ticket to Pittsburgh. While I was in line to purchase my ticket, I noticed the woman working behind the counter was stunning and had enormous breasts. I have always clammed up whenever I speak to women, let alone a gorgeous woman with a great rack, so I silent...

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