This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I watched "The Vagina Monologues" on mute but I still understood the plot

I can read lips.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My school was performing the Vagina Monologues last week...

I knew something fishy was going on.

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through his monologue without laughing.

Useful Metric Equivalents

* 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
* 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
* 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
* 52 = 1 decacards
* 1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn
* 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
* 435.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
* 10 rations = 1 decoration
* 10 m...

I watched so many programming tutorial videos in college

My inner monologue started developing an Indian accent

The tale of the clever dog

Once upon a time, a plane crashed inside a tropical islands little jungle. A dog, being the last passenger alive, decides to abandon the plane in hopes of finding a way out of the jungle.

While walking in the jungle, the dog notices a tiger behind it. The riger not knowing that the dog is awa...

The camping story

A couple of years ago I went out camping in the woods with a few of my friends. It was a dark and stormy night, and we felt very alone in our little tent, so we started telling scary stories.

I described how the hills we were in used to be coal mining country, and the coal mines were dark and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Avengers were on a mission to save the Egyptian god of the sun.

Thanos, with the help of the Reality Stone, turned the god into a baby and usurped his powers. As he was about to kill him, in the nick of time, the Avengers showed up.

Diving forward, Captain America managed to snatch away the baby while Thanos was busy with his monologue. Realizing this, T...

I'm looking for a joke

I heard a monologue once on the radio here in the UK.

The monologue is in a film noir style and I'm pretty sure it starts with "I was working on a case. I was working on a case because I couldn't afford a desk" and has other lines such as "A tall Blonde walked past the window, I knew she was ...

Why don't Asian parents like Hamlet?

Because the monologue should be "To A or not to A"

In Florida, a couple has been accused of making meth in a public library.

Isn't that crazy? Florida has a library.

-Conan Monologue June 12, 2014

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