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5 O'clock Jokes

A man sits down next to a woman at the bar

He orders a beer and notices the TV above the bar showing the 5 O'clock news

The news is covering someone standing on the edge of a bridge with the police trying to talk him down from jumping

The man at the bar looks to the woman next to him and says "I bet you $10 he jumps"

Th...

My carpenter friend brought me a single plank of wood by 5 o'clock today. I was livid!

"Whats wrong?" he asked.
"You told me you'd bring me 2 by 4!"

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58pm

He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde and a brunette are watching 10 o'clock news...

A man is standing on the roof of his apartment building, threatening to jump. The brunette turns to the blonde and says "I'll bet you $50 he jumps!"
The blonde agrees, and the two continue watching until finally, the man jumps to his death.
The blonde pulls out her wallet and goes to hand the...

A doctor has a regular routine...

Of visiting his local pub precisely at 5 o'clock daily. Every day the bartender prepares for his arrival by having his hazelnut daiquiri made and waiting for him. One day, the bartender goes to prepare the drink when he discovers he is all out of hazelnut. He quickly decides to use hickory hoping th...

I'm switching all of my clocks to a 24-hour format...

...making it much easier to wait til 5 o'clock to start drinking

A man goes to a barbershop...

Asks the barber, what time do you close today? Barber says 4:30 and the man walks off. Man comes in the next day asks what time the barber closes shop, barber says 5 o'clock and the man walks off. This goes on for some time and one day the barber sends an apprentice to follow the man. The appren...

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