I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I..
...also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.
I was asked to describe the last two us presidents in 5 words
Orange is the new black
My teacher asked me to describe myself in 5 words...
Lazy
Procrastination in 5 words
I will tell you later.
5 word joke
Mosquitoes, man...
What a buzzkill.
Ruin a date in 5 words...
Does this smell like chloroform?
I was asked which 5 words best describe me
I said, "Really bad at counting"
What phrase is 5 words long, makes you a part of a secretly hated society, is as infective as a virus and stays in your memory forever, but is only mentioned on occasion?
“I just lost the game”
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
After my prostate exam....
After my prostate exam, the doctor left. Then the nurse came.
At that point, she whispered the 5 words no man wants to hear: "Who the fuck was that?"
An old Jewish man dies.
His last wish to his son is to print an obituary. The son goes to newspaper office and asks how much they charge for an obituary. They tell him $5 per word.
He says then print "Solomon dead". The newspaper tell him they require minimum 5 words. He thinks for a moment and says, then make it "...
Jamie the Jewish man died
His wife Ida rang the newspaper to put in his obituary
‘It’s $10 per word’ said the man at the newspaper
‘In that case please put “Jamie died”’ she said
He said ‘unfortunately it’s a minimum of 5 words’
‘Please put “Jamie died. Volvo for sale”’
Obituary
Schwartz dies and his widow calls the New York Times and asks the price of an obituary. She is told it’s $10 per word. Okay, she said, have it read, “Schwartz dead” The clerk then tells her there is a $50 minimum, for which you get 5 words. Okay, she said, have it say, “Schwartz dead, Cadillac for ...
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