I couldn't make it to the top of the tower in France.

I fell.

I tried climbing that tower in Paris..

but Eiffel.

I saw the Eiffel tower for the first time and

Eiffel for it.

What type of pizza did the twin towers order?

Plain

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An old woman took her husband to the doctor. The doctor checked the husband's pulse, then told the woman, "I'm sorry, your husband is dead."

The woman was shocked. "I don't believe it. Are you sure? I want to be absolutely sure, are there any other tests you can do?"

The doctor responded, "I'm quite sure, but if you'd like we do have some alternative tests that we can perform."

"YES! I have to be absolutely certain."
...

I climbed a really tall tower in Paris

Unfortunately, Eiffel off.

Rednecks are good at sensitive stuff.

Three Rednecks were working on a Cell Phone pole: Cooter, Pete and KC. As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Pete says, "Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife." KC says, "OK, I'm pretty g...

What do the Twin Towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common?

They both went down on my dad.

I have a friend that does maintenance work on television transmitter towers, some of which are more than 1000' in height. He doesn't always wear a safety harness when climbing.

I don't think he grasps the gravity of the situation.

TIL that the leaning tower of Pisa collapsed after 848 years.

After an official investigation it was discovered not enough tourists have been holding it up since the start of the pandemic.

Clock tower maintenance workers are going on strike!

“It’s about high time,” commented the union representative.

Church Bell Ringer

A man died after a long career as the local church bell ringer. The priest, looking for a replacement put out word far and wide but received only one applicant, a man with no arms. Initially the priest was hesitant but the man assured him he could do it. He ran up into the belfry, put his head int...

Why is the tower of Pisa leaning?

Becouse she was faster then the Twin Towers.

What do you call a sweatshirt on the ledge of the tower bridge?

A jumper!

What do you call a woman who spends a lot of time in church towers?

Belle.

As they stood on top of The Eiffel Tower, watching a beautiful sunset, he got down on one knee and said, “Honey?”

She gasped audibly and said, “Yeah?”

He said, “Help! My replacement knee is made of magnets.”

What do you call someone who jumped off a pyramid?

In denial

What do you call someone who jumped off the Eiffel Tower?

Inseine

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An aircraft control tower suddenly last communication with a small twin engine aircraft

A moment later the tower land line rang and was answered by one of the employees.
The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone!
He yelled,Mayday, mayday!
The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack! I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and h...

President of France, Italy and Serbia are flying over the world in a jet.

They fly over France and the president of France says:
"Look, there's France!!"
Everyone asks:
"How do you know?"
He responds:
"You can see the Eiffel tower."

They fly over Italy and the president of Italy says:
"Look, there's Italy!!"
Everyone asks:
"How do you know?"...

I have a medical condition, where i sometimes Turn into a small Tower with a weapon on top.

My doctor said, it is called "Turret-Syndrome"

What's the difference between a tick, and the eiffel tower?

Well nothing, after all they are both Paris sites.

Don't joke about the war...

I told my friend that my grandfather died in the war.
He said "I am sorry to hear. How did he die?"

I said "One night there was a drunken party, and he fell off a guard tower!"

An old man sitting behind us interrupted. "You shouldn't joke about these things. It's offensive. My fathe...

I'm surprised the tower of Pisa hasn't fallen over during the pandemic

Without all those tourists helping hold it up.

What is an Eiffel Tower?

A threesome with two guys and a girl, where one guy is hitting it from behind, and the other guy is getting a head. The guys are high-fiving over the girl!

Girl: Ewww - get your hands away!!

Me: But then its just a London Bridge!

Did you know that Eiffel Tower was named after the engineer who designed and built the tower?

Mr. Gustave Tower.

Covid-19 has damaged the Italian economy so much that they have placed a lien on the Tower of Pizza.

Sounds better verbally

A barman tells three regulars that he has a magic slide in the beer garden

_Here's one I vividly remember being told by a kid in a playground when I was about 5 years old._


A barman tells three regulars that he has a magic slide in the beer garden. Incredulous they demand to see it for themselves.

When they get into the garden they see the slide is signif...

A crazy man put a gun to my head and told me if I don't break the world record for the tallest filet mignon tower he would kill me and my family.

The steaks have never been higher.

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3 men and a wizard are on top of a tower with no way down, the wizard says to the three men, "jump and say something while falling, and whatever you said will meet you at the bottom"

The first man jumped and yelled "pillows!". The man landed safely on some pillows. The second man jumped and yelled "Hay!". He was saved by landing in a pile of hay. The third man took the longest to jump because he was afraid of heights, but when he finally jumped he look down and yelled "OH CRAP!"

You might be a redneck....

....if you've ever had to climb a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.

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A church needed a new bell ringer

A church needed a new bell ringer, so the priest placed a want ad in the local paper. Soon, a man showed up to apply for the job.

The priest, on seeing that the man had no arms, said, "My son, I'm afraid there is no way for you to do this job."

"Father, I really need this job, and I'm...

Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?

It’s a real Eiffel.

I went on a cruise once, and we were hit by a gigantic wave, and the boat sank.

I woke up on a sugar sand beach, with gigantic cotton candy clouds filling the sky, and the sea glistened under the setting sun like a pool of honey, next to me was a volleyball that looked like a marshmallow. Towering above me was a gigantic volcano that looked like an upside down ice cream cone....

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A hot girl sitting on a large towering plant is commonly seen near where I drive to my house.

Cunt tree roads take me home.

From the beginning, Rapunzel never wanted a man to climb her tower to save her

She was just kinky and wanted someone to pull on her hair

I used to work for a used computer sales shop. I tried to convince my boss to have a 9/11 sale, 2 towers for the price of 1.

It didn’t fly.

First day as a pilot

Tower: Can you give me your position?



Me: I'm next to a cloud that looks like a lion?



Tower: Can you be more specific?



Me: Simba

You hear about the cellphone towers that got married?

It was a nice ceremony, but the reception was *amazing.*

Did you hear about the new cathedral with no chimes whose towers won an architectural award?

It won the no-bell prize.

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A man is sitting at a bar. Another gentleman walks up and sits next to him. The first man looks at the new comer and says to him “did You know this bar is so high up in the tower that you can jump out the window and the gusts will lift you up and float you right back in the window?”

The new guy looks at him, astonished at this. The first guy says “watch I’ll show you”, takes a shot of whiskey, runs over to the window and jumps out. Thirty seconds later he floats right back up and through the window and walks back over to the Other gentleman.

Amazed, the other guy says “I...

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A marine general, an army general, and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men...

The army general says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!"

The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?"

The general says, "See that man over there? Kill him!"

Without hesitating, the private kills the man.

The gener...

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were on top of a water tower...

They were eating sack lunches. The brunette pulls his out and says “Damn, I’m tired of my family making me the same sandwiches everyday! If i have another one of these, I’m going to jump off of this water tower and kill myself!” The blonde and the redhead feel the same way because they too have the ...

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force pl...

A 5G cell tower was built in a rural neighborhood

After the cell tower was erected, people living near the tower started reporting worrying symptoms, such as, as dizzy spells, vomiting, and insomnia.

Over the next few months, these symptoms increased in both frequency and intensity--sometimes people would completely lose consciousness and fa...

Tatooine Air Traffic Controller: "Jedi 41, Tatooine Tower, confirm your current position you appear to be lost"

Captain Yoda: "Of course I am"

The Italian government has decided to put a big clock similar to Big Ben in the leaning tower of Piza.

Now they’ll have the time as well as the inclination.

What did the guy jump off the Eiffel Tower?

He was in Seine!

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A police officer gets a new case

A police officer is minding his own business when his partner drops a case on his desk. His partner says "Leonid, a dance studio is running a drug operation, clear as day, open and shut case". Leonid has had a long day but is excited because open and shut cases don't happen often around this precin...

Somewhere, in a cave, in Transylvania...

...three bats were hanging upside down.

Without a word, one flies away, and returns after an hour, face full of blood, and says "Did you guys see that drove of pigs over there?"

"Yeah" comes the answer from the other two.

"I sucked the blood out of every single one of them"
<...

Once an American, a French and an Indian were travelling in an airplane.

To find out where they have reached, the American stretched his hand out of the plane and said, "We have reached America".

The other two asked how for which he replied,"Well my hand hit the Statue of Liberty".

Next the French stretches his hand out and said,"We have reached France"....

There was a competition at Sydney's center point tower.

Whoever could drop their watch from the tower, get to the bottom and then catch the watch will win $100000. A man from Western Australia tried his luck by dropping his watch and running down the stairs (if there are stairs). He picked up his broken watch and left. A man from Queensland dropped his w...

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There were three men on a tower...

One of the three men said “Hey, did you know that if I jump right now, the pressure of the air will bring me back up.”

Than the second guy said “I don’t believe you.”

The third guy looked at the second guy and than went jumping off and flying right back up. “Believe me now?” Said the...

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American tour bus pulls up at a small Mexican village.

After a few hours shopping one of the tourists asks a sleepy local laying by a tree the time. The guy throws back his poncho, leans over and cups the balls of a donkey with his hand, lifting them up and down, "it's 4:35 senoir." Astounded the tourist calls to his wife, "git over here and see how the...

Guy gets a job as a spy...

He's sent on his first mission, and told that the secret passphrase he has to give to contacts is, "The night-bird flies at dawn."

He's instructed to go to London, head to Piccadilly Circus, and speak to a guy in a purple fedora, busking. So he flies to London, goes to Piccadilly Circus, fin...

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Because the clockwork in the clock tower was being repaired, Big Ben wasn't tolling the hour...

Well, Parliament put an advertisement in the newspaper for someone to ring the bell on the hour.

The first fellow to show up for the position had no arms. In the interview, they asked "How can you hit Big Ben with the striker if you have no arms?"

Not to be stopped by his handicap, h...

A fortune teller sat in his tower, practicing seeing into the future.

Instead of using tarot cards or a crystal ball to read the future, he used fine cloth he imported from the East. One day, as he was peering into the future, a strong guest of wind blew through his open window, carrying the cloth straight out the other one. With it being his sole future-seeing cloth,...

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Wonderwoman was sunbathing naked on top of the justice league tower...

Superman was flying over and he had the idea that "hey I'm quick as lightning, I could go down there and have sex with her really quick then be out of there in a second." So he flies down, gets the job done and flies off. Wonderwoman jumps up and goes "what the hell was that?" Invisible man replies ...

A government agent is responsible for finding an architect to build a tower

So he brings 3 architects, a Chinese, an American and an Iranian. The Chinese architect says I charge 3 Millions, 1.5M for material, 1M for workers and 0.5M as my salary.

He goes to the next one. The American architect says I charge 6 Millions, 3M for material, 2M for workers and 1M as my sal...

The Night the Eiffel Tower’s Lights Went Out

One fateful night, the lights on the Eiffel Tower went out. It was, of course, a national tragedy for all of France and quite a problem, not the least of which being the fact that airplanes could very easily fly right into the thing.

The French government called every last engineer or electr...

I keep telling this joke about the plane that crashed into the twin towers

It's a shame it never lands

What's the difference between a cow and the Twin Towers?

You can't milk a cow for 15 years.

One day Pablo Picasso returned to his workshop and saw a thief running out...

When the gendarmerie came to investigate, Picasso told them that he could draw a picture of the man. Armed with his drawing, the gendarmes quickly arrested a three-legged dog, a letter box, and the Eiffel Tower.

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A russian, a jew and a german are at a bar

they talk about their grandfathers war experiences. The russian says: "war for my grandpa was so bad, he was shot on the eastern front fighting germans". Hearing this the jew says: "you think that is bad? my grandfather got killed in a concentration camp...". Seeing that the situation makes him stan...

Why doesn’t America want to play Chess with the UK?

They are down two towers already and the UK has a unkillable queen

The Leaning Tower of Pisa actually isn't leaning.

...they just built it in Italic font.

Ding, ding, ding

A church's bell ringer passed away. So they posted the position and a man came in with no arms wanting the job. The clergy weren't sure he could do it, but he convinced them to let him try it.
They climbed the bell tower and the guy ran toward the bell and hit it with his head. They gave him the ...

Workers from a small russian community recently gathered together to fix one of the bells in an old historical bell tower.

Because in soviet russia, bell saved by you!

I feel like it's still too soon for 9/11 jokes

I tried recently and it went down like the south tower.

Genghis Khan stumbles across a great palace in Northern China

It was a magnificent golden palace, with beautiful ornaments covering every surface as it towered over the surrounding landscape with its size. The steps leading up to the front entrance were crafted from the finest marble, the pillars holding up the ceiling sculpted with the rarest jade. It was tru...

My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.

The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.

Someone drew a swastika on The Trump Tower

The police aren't sure if it's a supporter, or a hater.

A man with no arms applies to be the local church bell squire.

The pastor looks him over and says - Well, we didn't get alot of interest in the posting, so the job is yours, but I'm not sure how you plan on pulling the rope to the bell?
The man climbs up to the church steeple and runs at the bell as fast as he can. BOOOONG! He hits it with his face and it so...

What is it called when Jamie pushed Bran down the tower?

King’s Landing

Last night I dreamt that my town’s water tower exploded.

It was a wet dream.

What did the Left tower say to the Right Tower?

Can't talk right now, gotta catch a flight

Why was Sauron always adding entrances to his tower?

Because he lived in Mordor.

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