Why can't americans play chess?

They are missing two towers

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force pl...

There was a competition at Sydney's center point tower.

Whoever could drop their watch from the tower, get to the bottom and then catch the watch will win $100000. A man from Western Australia tried his luck by dropping his watch and running down the stairs (if there are stairs). He picked up his broken watch and left. A man from Queensland dropped his w...

What's the difference between a tick and the Eiffel tower?

None, because they're both paris sites.

Do you know why americans are bad at chess?

they dont have 2 towers

Why was Sauron always adding entrances to his tower?

Because he lived in Mordor.

3 rednecks were working on a cell tower...

Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, 'Well, shucks, someone should go and tell his wife.'


Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do ...

What did Big Ben say to the leaning tower of Pisa?

I’ve got the time if you’ve got the inclination.

Finally found a new job after being unemployed for a long time. I work at a clock tower, using a long straw to remove water that accumulates behind the glass so the giant clock face doesn't rust.

The pay is good, but the work sucks big time.

What is it called when Jamie pushed Bran down the tower?

King’s Landing

The Leaning Tower of Pisa actually isn't leaning.

...they just built it in Italic font.

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There are 3 men on top of a tower with a wizard

The wizard says that whatever the men say will be at the bottom of the tower. The first man jumps and says, pillows. Second man jumps and says, hay. Third man trips off and screams, "SHIT!"

Workers from a small russian community recently gathered together to fix one of the bells in an old historical bell tower.

Because in soviet russia, bell saved by you!

What pizza did the twin towers order?

Two plains

The Italian government has decided to put a big clock similar to Big Ben in the leaning tower of Piza.

Now they’ll have the time as well as the inclination.

Last night I dreamt that my town’s water tower exploded.

It was a wet dream.

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An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication

with a small twin engine aircraft.A moment later the tower landline rang and was answered by one of the employees.

The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cell phone.

He yelled, "Mayday, mayday! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his...

I build a new high end tower and made sure to include windows.

It would be a waste if you couldnt enjoy the view from up there.

The Tower of Pisa has been leaning for over 500 years.

It’s still not as left leaning as Reddit.

Did you hear about the documentary claiming the twin towers were brought down by a large sneeze?

Gesundheit 9/11.

Did you guys hear about the two cellphone towers that got married?

It was a nice ceremony, but the reception was *amazing.*

What's the difference between a cow and the Twin Towers?

You can't milk a cow for 17 years

What do you call a tower made of body parts?

Body Building.

Why is the tower of Pisa leaning?

It had better reflexes than the twin towers.

What did the phone say to the cell tower?

Thank you for your service.

Did you hear about the man who jumped off the Eiffel Tower?

He was in Seine

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I plopped out a turd that looked like the leaning tower

It was a Pisa shit.

I went sightseeing in france and decided to check out that famous tower.

It sure was an Eiffel

An adventurer finds a huge tower

On the first floor he finds to his left a ladder and to his right an attractive woman. She tells him, "Take me here or climb to success." His curiosity gets the better of him so he climbs the ladder.

On the second floor he finds a woman even more attractive than the first one! She says, "Take...

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I found out my grandfather died at a concentration camp.

Stupid bastard tripped and fell out of his guard tower.

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I bought my friend with OCD a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa for his birthday.

He's going fucking nuts trying to hang it straight.

What do a man who lives in a watch tower by the sea and a 85 lbs hotel maid have in common?

They’re both light house keepers.

Do you know why the Eiffel tower is so tall?

So you can see the white flag from Berlin.

A company is building a tower with diffrent floors

The first floor will be a hexagon the 2nd pentagon, ah you dont need to hear it from me, each story has diffrent sides anyways

I tried dressing up as the plane that crash into the twin towers for the office costume party

It didn't land too well

A father was found dead at the foot of the Eiffel Tower

As his grieving family finally met the police they told him he was found with a note in his hand which was most likely the suicide note. The police, not having read it, handed it to the mother. The mother opens the note and reads aloud "Eiffel off the tower"

Donald Trump is heading to Trump Tower and bumps into a fellow on the busy sidewalk. He turns to the man and says...

"I pardon myself"

A bishop advertises a job to ring the bell in his tower.

The only job applicant is a hunchback with no arms. Bishop: "How can you do the job? You can't pull the rope!" Hunchback: "I have a plan - but we have to go to the top of the tower, where the bell is." .. So they climb all those stairs to the top of the tower. Bishop: "Ok, show me your plan."
...

Why did Sauron rebuild his tower?

It needed more door.

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Wonderwoman was sunbathing naked on top of the justice league tower...

Superman was flying over and he had the idea that "hey I'm quick as lightning, I could go down there and have sex with her really quick then be out of there in a second." So he flies down, gets the job done and flies off. Wonderwoman jumps up and goes "what the hell was that?" Invisible man replies ...

what do you call a tiny clock tower?

A watchtower

In my community we have a neighborhood watch,

It's actually more like a clock tower.

Throwing Watches

Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.

The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken three steps. The second threw his watch an...

I was walking through a supermarket when a tower of toilet paper fell on me

I'm worried I have soft tissue damage.

3 guys are standing on a tower

They are pretty much bored until one of the guys proposes a challenge.

He challenges the other two to throw their watch of the tower and to run down as fast as they can to try and catch it before it drops to the ground. Each of them puts in $100, so the first one to catch the watch wins and g...

What did the Left tower say to the Right Tower?

Can't talk right now, gotta catch a flight

Someone drew a swastika on The Trump Tower

The police aren't sure if it's a supporter, or a hater.

Why were the twin towers disappointed with their pizza?

Because they ordered pepperoni but all they got was plane.

Trump was cleaning his gun in Trump Tower...

Kellyanne Conway walks in and asks,

Kellyanne: "Why do you have a gun?"

Trump: "Obama Spy Drones"

Kellyanne: \*laughs\*

Trump: \*laughs\*

Microwave: \*laughs\*

Trump shoots the Microwave.

The girls in the tower

It was a rainy night when the man walked into the tower. He saw a single flight of stairs and a door, and when he went past it, it locked itself.

In front of him was the most repulsive being you could conceive. The very idea of disgusting. She winked at the man, and said "Stay with me, or yo...

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day.

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insura...

My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.

The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.

Why are the Eiffel Tower lights so bright ?

French resistance is low.

My sister and her husband live next to a bunch of cell phone towers, and they're concerned it’s going to affect the health of their children.

*If* they can stop having miscarriages.

A windmill was spotted at The Dark Tower premier this weekend.

People said it was a huge Stephen King fan.

A physicist sees a man about to jump off from the top of Sears Tower...

He yells to him "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

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