Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain.

Why is the tower of Pisa leaning?

Becouse she was faster then the Twin Towers.

What do the Twin Towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common?

They both went down on my dad.

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Sex Tower

John, Mac and Randy decided to join a sex competition.

"All you have to do", Said the Commentator sitting at the top of a 10 story building, "is have sex with all the girls in each floor whoever gets to the biggest number, wins the prize . "

John, the skinniest of all, decides to go...

What do you call a sweatshirt on the ledge of the tower bridge?

A jumper!

What do you call a woman who spends a lot of time in church towers?

Belle.

As they stood on top of The Eiffel Tower, watching a beautiful sunset, he got down on one knee and said, “Honey?”

She gasped audibly and said, “Yeah?”

He said, “Help! My replacement knee is made of magnets.”

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An aircraft control tower suddenly last communication with a small twin engine aircraft

A moment later the tower land line rang and was answered by one of the employees.
The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone!
He yelled,Mayday, mayday!
The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack! I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and h...

I have a medical condition, where i sometimes Turn into a small Tower with a weapon on top.

My doctor said, it is called "Turret-Syndrome"

What is an Eiffel Tower?

A threesome with two guys and a girl, where one guy is hitting it from behind, and the other guy is getting a head. The guys are high-fiving over the girl!

Girl: Ewww - get your hands away!!

Me: But then its just a London Bridge!

I'm surprised the tower of Pisa hasn't fallen over during the pandemic

Without all those tourists helping hold it up.

Covid-19 has damaged the Italian economy so much that they have placed a lien on the Tower of Pizza.

Sounds better verbally

Did you know that Eiffel Tower was named after the engineer who designed and built the tower?

Mr. Gustave Tower.

What's the difference between a tick, and the eiffel tower?

Well nothing, after all they are both Paris sites.

A crazy man put a gun to my head and told me if I don't break the world record for the tallest filet mignon tower he would kill me and my family.

The steaks have never been higher.

I couldn't make it to the top of the tower in France.

I fell.

One day Pablo Picasso returned to his workshop and saw a thief running out...

When the gendarmerie came to investigate, Picasso told them that he could draw a picture of the man. Armed with his drawing, the gendarmes quickly arrested a three-legged dog, a letter box, and the Eiffel Tower.

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A hot girl sitting on a large towering plant is commonly seen near where I drive to my house.

Cunt tree roads take me home.

Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?

It’s a real Eiffel.

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3 men and a wizard are on top of a tower with no way down, the wizard says to the three men, "jump and say something while falling, and whatever you said will meet you at the bottom"

The first man jumped and yelled "pillows!". The man landed safely on some pillows. The second man jumped and yelled "Hay!". He was saved by landing in a pile of hay. The third man took the longest to jump because he was afraid of heights, but when he finally jumped he look down and yelled "OH CRAP!"

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A marine general, an army general, and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men...

The army general says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!"

The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?"

The general says, "See that man over there? Kill him!"

Without hesitating, the private kills the man.

The gener...

A man with no arms applies to be the local church bell squire.

The pastor looks him over and says - Well, we didn't get alot of interest in the posting, so the job is yours, but I'm not sure how you plan on pulling the rope to the bell?
The man climbs up to the church steeple and runs at the bell as fast as he can. BOOOONG! He hits it with his face and it so...

Did you hear about the new cathedral with no chimes whose towers won an architectural award?

It won the no-bell prize.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame had died

The priests realized they would need a new person to ring the bells. They decided to hold auditions. After advertising the position in the town center there was a long line of peasants waiting to try out the next day.

One by one the priests called the peasants forward to pull the rope, ring t...

You hear about the cellphone towers that got married?

It was a nice ceremony, but the reception was *amazing.*

What did the guy jump off the Eiffel Tower?

He was in Seine!

A 5G cell tower was built in a rural neighborhood

After the cell tower was erected, people living near the tower started reporting worrying symptoms, such as, as dizzy spells, vomiting, and insomnia.

Over the next few months, these symptoms increased in both frequency and intensity--sometimes people would completely lose consciousness and fa...

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My first time posting here, made up this one late night so, please be gentle with me kind stranger...

So a Cambodian guy walks into a bar,
He orders a drink from the bartender.
The bartender was new to the place and hasn't seen much foreigners so confused by the customer's race he makes conversation saying.
"Hey your people are famous for their great sushi I've heard"

The guy looks...

Why is the US bad at chess?

We have no kings, no queens, and we already lost 2 towers

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Why People Hate School Re-Unions

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school.

 They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in grey ...

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A man is sitting at a bar. Another gentleman walks up and sits next to him. The first man looks at the new comer and says to him “did You know this bar is so high up in the tower that you can jump out the window and the gusts will lift you up and float you right back in the window?”

The new guy looks at him, astonished at this. The first guy says “watch I’ll show you”, takes a shot of whiskey, runs over to the window and jumps out. Thirty seconds later he floats right back up and through the window and walks back over to the Other gentleman.

Amazed, the other guy says “I...

3 rednecks were working on a cell tower...

Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, 'Well, shucks, someone should go and tell his wife.'


Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do ...

Not all the animaniacs live in the water tower, just the Warner Brothers and the Warner Sister, Dot.

Just for fun they run around the Warner movie lot. They lock them in the tower, whenever they get caught. But they break loose, and then vamoose, and now you know the plot.

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were on top of a water tower...

They were eating sack lunches. The brunette pulls his out and says “Damn, I’m tired of my family making me the same sandwiches everyday! If i have another one of these, I’m going to jump off of this water tower and kill myself!” The blonde and the redhead feel the same way because they too have the ...

From the beginning, Rapunzel never wanted a man to climb her tower to save her

She was just kinky and wanted someone to pull on her hair

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force pl...

This is a bad joke

So there is this man, and he has no arms, but he wants a job as a church bell ringer. So he goes for the interview, and the interviewer says “how can you ring the bell? You have no arms.” And the man says “like this.” He goes up to the tower and steps to the edge. He runs and slams his head into the...

The bell tower up the street always rings 12 minutes before the hour...

I guess the church is behind the times.

A fortune teller sat in his tower, practicing seeing into the future.

Instead of using tarot cards or a crystal ball to read the future, he used fine cloth he imported from the East. One day, as he was peering into the future, a strong guest of wind blew through his open window, carrying the cloth straight out the other one. With it being his sole future-seeing cloth,...

The Italian government has decided to put a big clock similar to Big Ben in the leaning tower of Piza.

Now they’ll have the time as well as the inclination.

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There were three men on a tower...

One of the three men said “Hey, did you know that if I jump right now, the pressure of the air will bring me back up.”

Than the second guy said “I don’t believe you.”

The third guy looked at the second guy and than went jumping off and flying right back up. “Believe me now?” Said the...

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A man, his wife and a good-looking stranger are stranded on a desert island.

The wife quickly loses interest in her husband and begins flirting with the good-looking stranger.

The three start to build a watchtower. The stranger offers to take first watch.

While the husband and wife gather driftwood on the sand, the stranger yells, "Hey! No sex on the beach! G...

The Night the Eiffel Tower’s Lights Went Out

One fateful night, the lights on the Eiffel Tower went out. It was, of course, a national tragedy for all of France and quite a problem, not the least of which being the fact that airplanes could very easily fly right into the thing.

The French government called every last engineer or electr...

There was a competition at Sydney's center point tower.

Whoever could drop their watch from the tower, get to the bottom and then catch the watch will win $100000. A man from Western Australia tried his luck by dropping his watch and running down the stairs (if there are stairs). He picked up his broken watch and left. A man from Queensland dropped his w...

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Because the clockwork in the clock tower was being repaired, Big Ben wasn't tolling the hour...

Well, Parliament put an advertisement in the newspaper for someone to ring the bell on the hour.

The first fellow to show up for the position had no arms. In the interview, they asked "How can you hit Big Ben with the striker if you have no arms?"

Not to be stopped by his handicap, h...

control tower: What are your coordinates?

**me:** I’m by a cloud that looks like a lion

**control tower:** can you be more specific?

**me:** Mufasa

I keep telling this joke about the plane that crashed into the twin towers

It's a shame it never lands

There were 3 prisoners: Billy, Bob, and Joe.

Billy was smart, Bob was an average human, and Joe was an idiot.

One day, Billy thought up a plan to escape.

He whispered to Bob, "We're busting out tonight. Pass it on."

Bob whispered to Joe, "We're busting out tonight. Pass it on."

Joe whispered to the guard, "We're bus...

A government agent is responsible for finding an architect to build a tower

So he brings 3 architects, a Chinese, an American and an Iranian. The Chinese architect says I charge 3 Millions, 1.5M for material, 1M for workers and 0.5M as my salary.

He goes to the next one. The American architect says I charge 6 Millions, 3M for material, 2M for workers and 1M as my sal...

A church has a job opening for..

a bell ringer. So they posted the position and a man came in with no arms wanting the job. The clergy weren't sure he could do it, but he convinced them to let him try it.

They climbed the bell tower and the guy ran toward the bell and hit it with his head. They gave him the job.

The n...

There once was a beautiful, snowy kingdom.

It was ruled by a fair king who joyfully ruled his land. Unfortunately, the kingdom was also home to a wicked thief who loved nothing more than causing mayhem for all the inhabitants of the land.

However, the thief was not your ordinary thief. He only stole bells. Any kind of bell, whether a...

A man with no arms walks into a church

“I’d like to apply to toll the bell, every hour on the hour” he tells the priest. The priest wonders how this would be possible with no arms so he decides to humor the man. Since it’s close to 3pm, they make their way up to the bell tower. At 2:54 the man sits cross legged and begins meditating. At ...

What's the difference between a cow and the Twin Towers?

You can't milk a cow for 15 years.

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Wonderwoman was sunbathing naked on top of the justice league tower...

Superman was flying over and he had the idea that "hey I'm quick as lightning, I could go down there and have sex with her really quick then be out of there in a second." So he flies down, gets the job done and flies off. Wonderwoman jumps up and goes "what the hell was that?" Invisible man replies ...

The Leaning Tower of Pisa actually isn't leaning.

...they just built it in Italic font.

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A pastor is hiring a new bell boy to ring the church bell.

So a boy walks in with no arms, that wants to apply for the job. The pastor says "I don't think you qualify". The boy responds with "nonsense, let me show you"

They head up the bell tower. The boy proceeds to get a running start and headbutts the bell to make it ring. The pastor shakes his he...

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An American anthropologist is studying cultures throughout Western Africa.

He discovers an isolated civilization in the West African Jungle. It’s a small village with wooden houses and plenty of domesticated animals. The anthropologist is impressed by the organization of the village and becomes eager to learn more about the culture of it’s inhabitants.

He approa...

What is it called when Jamie pushed Bran down the tower?

King’s Landing

Workers from a small russian community recently gathered together to fix one of the bells in an old historical bell tower.

Because in soviet russia, bell saved by you!

A russian village has a tradition...

...where each year they they hold a very unusal contest, that consists of 4 challenges: First, the contestants must down a bottle of vodka, then they must swim across an icy lake, third they must shake hands with a chained up wild bear on the other side, and finally they have to run to the closest v...

Finally found a new job after being unemployed for a long time. I work at a clock tower, using a long straw to remove water that accumulates behind the glass so the giant clock face doesn't rust.

The pay is good, but the work sucks big time.

Last night I dreamt that my town’s water tower exploded.

It was a wet dream.

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An old woman took her husband to the doctor. The doctor checked the husband's pulse, then told the woman, "I'm sorry, your husband is dead."

The woman was shocked. "I don't believe it. Are you sure? I want to be absolutely sure, are there any other tests you can do?"

The doctor responded, "I'm quite sure, but if you'd like we do have some alternative tests that we can perform."

"YES! I have to be absolutely certain."
...

There are 3 superheroes, The Fireball, Lady Aqua, and Tornado.

They all form a superhero trio, and try to stop villains from all over the world. They were all hanging at the SuperBase, when an emergency alarm went off.

The supervillain Master Garth is making their way to Paris, so that she can destroy the Eiffel Towel to be able to control all areas of E...

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A Frenchman, a Scotsman and a German...

... are at a public swimming pool.

This place has just opened a very special 10 meter high diving tower: for a fee of just $20, a patented device automatically fills the pool with the liquid you desire.

The Frenchman is excited. He pays, climbs up the ladder, shouts "Champagne" and the...

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Did you hear the sad news about the guy who got his dick sucked on top of the Eiffel tower?

He got blown off

Did you hear about the documentary claiming the twin towers were brought down by a large sneeze?

Gesundheit 9/11.

Someone drew a swastika on The Trump Tower

The police aren't sure if it's a supporter, or a hater.

What do you call a tower made of body parts?

Body Building.

An adventurer finds a huge tower

On the first floor he finds to his left a ladder and to his right an attractive woman. She tells him, "Take me here or climb to success." His curiosity gets the better of him so he climbs the ladder.

On the second floor he finds a woman even more attractive than the first one! She says, "Take...

Why was Sauron always adding entrances to his tower?

Because he lived in Mordor.

An American and a Brit stood looking at the wreckage of the twin towers post 9/11

Brit: “are you local?”

American: “No I’m visiting from Houston, Texas, what about you”

Brit: “I’m from Liverpool”

American: “Liverpool? What state is that in?”

Brit: *pointing to the wreckage* “well, it’s a bit like this really”

My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.

The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.

What did the Left tower say to the Right Tower?

Can't talk right now, gotta catch a flight

A bishop advertises a job to ring the bell in his tower.

The only job applicant is a hunchback with no arms. Bishop: "How can you do the job? You can't pull the rope!" Hunchback: "I have a plan - but we have to go to the top of the tower, where the bell is." .. So they climb all those stairs to the top of the tower. Bishop: "Ok, show me your plan."
...

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