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A man is sitting at a bar. Another gentleman walks up and sits next to him. The first man looks at the new comer and says to him “did You know this bar is so high up in the tower that you can jump out the window and the gusts will lift you up and float you right back in the window?”

The new guy looks at him, astonished at this. The first guy says “watch I’ll show you”, takes a shot of whiskey, runs over to the window and jumps out. Thirty seconds later he floats right back up and through the window and walks back over to the Other gentleman.

Amazed, the other guy says “I...

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Because the clockwork in the clock tower was being repaired, Big Ben wasn't tolling the hour...

Well, Parliament put an advertisement in the newspaper for someone to ring the bell on the hour.

The first fellow to show up for the position had no arms. In the interview, they asked "How can you hit Big Ben with the striker if you have no arms?"

Not to be stopped by his handicap, h...

What do cell towers do when someone puts down a beat?

They drop some bars.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were on top of a water tower...

They were eating sack lunches. The brunette pulls his out and says “Damn, I’m tired of my family making me the same sandwiches everyday! If i have another one of these, I’m going to jump off of this water tower and kill myself!” The blonde and the redhead feel the same way because they too have the ...

A government agent is responsible for finding an architect to build a tower

So he brings 3 architects, a Chinese, an American and an Iranian. The Chinese architect says I charge 3 Millions, 1.5M for material, 1M for workers and 0.5M as my salary.

He goes to the next one. The American architect says I charge 6 Millions, 3M for material, 2M for workers and 1M as my sal...

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force pl...

There was a competition at Sydney's center point tower.

Whoever could drop their watch from the tower, get to the bottom and then catch the watch will win $100000. A man from Western Australia tried his luck by dropping his watch and running down the stairs (if there are stairs). He picked up his broken watch and left. A man from Queensland dropped his w...

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3 men and a tower in the desert

There were three men lost in a desert. They were dying of thirst when they came upon a tall tower. The man outside said there is plenty of water at the top, but, in order to get it you must first go up the 100 steps, naked without getting an erection.....oh and by the way each step has a beautiful n...

What did Big Ben say to the leaning tower of Pisa?

I’ve got the time if you’ve got the inclination.

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Why did Trump call the President of Ukraine from the basement of Trump Tower?

Because his office was on the 50th floor and he was afraid of committing a high crime and misdemeanor.

I keep telling this joke about the plane that crashed into the twin towers

It's a shame it never lands

What's the difference between a tick and the Eiffel tower?

None, because they're both paris sites.

3 rednecks were working on a cell tower...

Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, 'Well, shucks, someone should go and tell his wife.'


Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do ...

Finally found a new job after being unemployed for a long time. I work at a clock tower, using a long straw to remove water that accumulates behind the glass so the giant clock face doesn't rust.

The pay is good, but the work sucks big time.

The Italian government has decided to put a big clock similar to Big Ben in the leaning tower of Piza.

Now they’ll have the time as well as the inclination.

The Leaning Tower of Pisa actually isn't leaning.

...they just built it in Italic font.

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An old woman took her husband to the doctor. The doctor checked the husband's pulse, then told the woman, "I'm sorry, your husband is dead."

The woman was shocked. "I don't believe it. Are you sure? I want to be absolutely sure, are there any other tests you can do?"

The doctor responded, "I'm quite sure, but if you'd like we do have some alternative tests that we can perform."

"YES! I have to be absolutely certain."
...

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There are 3 men on top of a tower with a wizard

The wizard says that whatever the men say will be at the bottom of the tower. The first man jumps and says, pillows. Second man jumps and says, hay. Third man trips off and screams, "SHIT!"

Why was Sauron always adding entrances to his tower?

Because he lived in Mordor.

What is it called when Jamie pushed Bran down the tower?

King’s Landing

What do you call a bird that sits atop a tall metal tower

A crane

Workers from a small russian community recently gathered together to fix one of the bells in an old historical bell tower.

Because in soviet russia, bell saved by you!

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A traveler walks into a bar in a foreign land...

He started up a conversation with a bar owner, Greg for confidence. Eventually they were talking about his business.

Greg: you see this bar? It took years to build this bar, to find every perfect piece of brick, to hone it into a perfect bar. But do they call me Greg the bar builder? No.
...

Old German Classic: Trump, Putin and Merkel go to the swimming pool.

"...but the pool is empty!" Trump said.
"Worry not," said Putin in his fabulous russian accent. "It is a wish pool. Whatever you yell when jumping from tower will be in pool. I demonstrate."
He gets on the tower and jumps, yelling "Vodkaaaa!"
And voilà, he splashes into a pool full of the b...

Once there were three kingdoms

So once there were 3 kingdoms, each controlled an equal share of land with a small island on a lake at the centre of them. Always there was fighting over who would control the island, as it was a veritable paradise and each King wanted it for himself as a place to relax away from royal life.

...

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico.

"The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more p...

What pizza did the twin towers order?

Two plains

A church's bell ringer passed away.

So they posted the position and a man came in with no arms wanting
the job. The clergy weren't sure he could do it, but he convinced them to let him try it.


They climbed the bell tower and the guy ran toward the bell and hit it with his head. They gave him the job.


The next ...

Why can't americans play chess?

They are missing two towers

What's 300m tall and made of custard?

The Trifle Tower

(joke courtesy of my kids)

Last night I dreamt that my town’s water tower exploded.

It was a wet dream.

Did you hear about the documentary claiming the twin towers were brought down by a large sneeze?

Gesundheit 9/11.

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An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication

with a small twin engine aircraft.A moment later the tower landline rang and was answered by one of the employees.

The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cell phone.

He yelled, "Mayday, mayday! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his...

Did you guys hear about the two cellphone towers that got married?

It was a nice ceremony, but the reception was *amazing.*

I build a new high end tower and made sure to include windows.

It would be a waste if you couldnt enjoy the view from up there.

The Tower of Pisa has been leaning for over 500 years.

It’s still not as left leaning as Reddit.

What's the difference between a cow and the Twin Towers?

You can't milk a cow for 17 years

Why is the tower of Pisa leaning?

It had better reflexes than the twin towers.

Did you hear about the man who jumped off the Eiffel Tower?

He was in Seine

What do you call a tower made of body parts?

Body Building.

What did the phone say to the cell tower?

Thank you for your service.

Quasimodo wanted to go on vacation.

He sends out an ad in the newspaper to get someone to ring the bell in his place. Unfortunately, no one responds, but just as he leaves, a man with no arms is at the door. Quasimodo asks why he’s there. The man says, “I want the job.” Quasimodo counters this, saying that he couldn’t possibly ring th...

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I plopped out a turd that looked like the leaning tower

It was a Pisa shit.

An adventurer finds a huge tower

On the first floor he finds to his left a ladder and to his right an attractive woman. She tells him, "Take me here or climb to success." His curiosity gets the better of him so he climbs the ladder.

On the second floor he finds a woman even more attractive than the first one! She says, "Take...

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

He was outstanding in his field!

(got this joke from Tiny Tower if you guys know what that is)

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I bought my friend with OCD a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa for his birthday.

He's going fucking nuts trying to hang it straight.

I went sightseeing in france and decided to check out that famous tower.

It sure was an Eiffel

Do you know why americans are bad at chess?

they dont have 2 towers

Donald Trump is heading to Trump Tower and bumps into a fellow on the busy sidewalk. He turns to the man and says...

"I pardon myself"

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Wonderwoman was sunbathing naked on top of the justice league tower...

Superman was flying over and he had the idea that "hey I'm quick as lightning, I could go down there and have sex with her really quick then be out of there in a second." So he flies down, gets the job done and flies off. Wonderwoman jumps up and goes "what the hell was that?" Invisible man replies ...

Do you know why the Eiffel tower is so tall?

So you can see the white flag from Berlin.

In the City of Loafington, there lived a superhero named Wonderbread.

Wonderbread was, predictably, a superhero with bread-themed powers. He could beat up a gang with a baguette, trap someone in a giant pita, or cushion someone's fall with swiftly-rising dough. He was beloved by all in the city, for his escapades had the lovely side-effect of feeding the entire city f...

I tried dressing up as the plane that crash into the twin towers for the office costume party

It didn't land too well

What do a man who lives in a watch tower by the sea and a 85 lbs hotel maid have in common?

They’re both light house keepers.

What’s the difference between Middle Earth and NYC

Two Towers

A bishop advertises a job to ring the bell in his tower.

The only job applicant is a hunchback with no arms. Bishop: "How can you do the job? You can't pull the rope!" Hunchback: "I have a plan - but we have to go to the top of the tower, where the bell is." .. So they climb all those stairs to the top of the tower. Bishop: "Ok, show me your plan."
...

A company is building a tower with diffrent floors

The first floor will be a hexagon the 2nd pentagon, ah you dont need to hear it from me, each story has diffrent sides anyways

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An old couple has decided to take their vacation in a foreign land

They've made a tight itinerary so they can see everything and left their valuables behind to keep safe. Unfortunately, neither thought to bring a watch. Worried about their schedule, they spot a man sitting next to a donkey and ask him the time. He happily assures them he can help.

Reaching u...

A father was found dead at the foot of the Eiffel Tower

As his grieving family finally met the police they told him he was found with a note in his hand which was most likely the suicide note. The police, not having read it, handed it to the mother. The mother opens the note and reads aloud "Eiffel off the tower"

Why did Sauron rebuild his tower?

It needed more door.

Why are Americans bad at league of legends?

Because they can’t defend their towers.

I was talking to a girl about WWII

It went something like this

Her: My grandparents were in a concentration camp


Me: So was my Grandfather. He died there


Her: :(


Me: Poor fella fell out of the guard tower

Throwing Watches

Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.

The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken three steps. The second threw his watch an...

What did the Left tower say to the Right Tower?

Can't talk right now, gotta catch a flight

Quasimodo Part 2

After Quasimodo’s funeral the next Sunday, his identical twin brother Farsimodo that no one knew he had was so distraught that he vowed to take up his brother’s mantle. Realizing that the funeral got out right before he had to ring the bells for the first time, he made a mad dash for the spires of ...

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The lion is throwing a jungle sex party and everyone's invited

Before the party starts the lion goes in front of everyone and says
"there is only one rule in this party. No condoms! You can fuck with everyone but you can't use any condoms no matter what."

So the party starts and as predicted everyone is having a great time.
The lion walks around t...

Someone drew a swastika on The Trump Tower

The police aren't sure if it's a supporter, or a hater.

3 guys are standing on a tower

They are pretty much bored until one of the guys proposes a challenge.

He challenges the other two to throw their watch of the tower and to run down as fast as they can to try and catch it before it drops to the ground. Each of them puts in $100, so the first one to catch the watch wins and g...

what do you call a tiny clock tower?

A watchtower

Why was one of the twin towers sad?

It ordered a pepperoni pizza, but got a plane.

I was walking through a supermarket when a tower of toilet paper fell on me

I'm worried I have soft tissue damage.

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Donald Trump, Vladimr Putin and Angela Merkel take a walk on the Beach.

Seeing the great body of water, Mr Trump felt the need to reassure the two others of his country's militaristic superiority.

"Folks, I can tell you, our Navy submarines, are so big and so good, would you believe it, they can remain submerged from the moment they leave the port, to the day the...

Trump was cleaning his gun in Trump Tower...

Kellyanne Conway walks in and asks,

Kellyanne: "Why do you have a gun?"

Trump: "Obama Spy Drones"

Kellyanne: \*laughs\*

Trump: \*laughs\*

Microwave: \*laughs\*

Trump shoots the Microwave.

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