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For fashion week, Paris covered the famous Eiffel Tower in camouflage

I'll be honest, I don't see the attraction.

A guy with no arms……. (Long)

A guy who was born with no arms goes to the doctor one day and the doc says, ‘I have bad news, you are terminally ill and you only have one month left to live.”

The man was a absolutely despondent - but as he walked out of his doctors office, he looked up at the monastery atop the hill near t...

Two radio towers fell in love with each other

They are on the same wavelength.

First day as a pilot. Control tower: Can you give me your position? Me: I am next to a cloud that looks like a lion. Control tower: Can you be more specific?

Me: Simba

I couldn't make it to the top of the tower in France.

I fell.

Why can’t the Uk and the USA play chess anymore?

Because one lost its queen and the other lost its two towers

An american tourist is visiting Paris

He takes a taxi for a ride around the city, sees Notre Dame cathedral and asks the driver:



\-What's that ?



\-Notre Dame cathedral.



\-How long did it take to build it ?



\-I don't know, 50 years maybe ?



\-Oh my god, that's s...

My opinion is like a tower.

If you get me high, I can be swayed.

A church advertises a job for a bell ringer

Several people apply and the minister decides to have auditions to see who rings the bell the best. The last applicant comes in and the minister immediately notices that he has no arms.

"Tell me, son, how do you intend to ring the bell with your disability?"

"It's no problem," the app...

I just saw a great documentary on how they built the Eiffel Tower.

I'm not gonna lie, it was riveting.

Personally, I would never go to see the Eiffel Tower in cloudy weather

I dont't see the point.

The Competition - Wishing you a Happy Halloween!

Dracula wanted to know which of his bats was the best. So, he organized a little competition.

The bat which would drink more blood in less time than others would be the winner.

The first bat went and came back after 10 minutes. Its mouth was full of blood.

Dracula was impresse...

My friend was kicked out of the local bar for shouting “Small tower ! Small tower on a Castle wall !!”

It is not his fault his has Turrets.

In the early 1400's, a little town in France was down on its luck...

Unemployment was high, and everyone who needed money pretty much lived their lives in front of the job board in the middle of the town.

Well, one fine morning, the city priest walked to the center of town and posted a page that read, 'Help Wanted: Bell Ringer.' The groans that pervaded the cr...

I longed to cruise through the majestic, towering cliffs and deep glacial sea inlets of Norway and Iceland. Sadly, the cost was more than my salary...

I couldn't a-**fjord** it.

We Finally Know Why The Leaning Tower Of Pisa Is Leaning.

The graphic designer pressed the *ITALICS* key on accident.

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Nick had always wanted to own a motorcycle, which is why he leapt at the chance when a friend of a friend was selling his bike

The bike, despite being old, was in immaculate condition.

"How do you keep it so pristine?" asks Nick.

"Oh, it's easy! Any time it's about to rain, I just coat the body with vaseline, and the rain and mud just slips right off! Here, I'm not going to need it anymore, why don't you take ...

Completed in 1856, Big Ben was designed by architects Charles Barry and Augustus Welby Pugin and took 13 years to build.

Which is crazy long considering they were working around the clock.

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Probably been here before, but I heard this one at summer camp

The old man who lives in the tall bell tower needed someone to help him with ringing the bell, as he was getting too old.

The first person who arrived was like the old man and was not strong enough to produce a loud sound with the bell.

The second person who showed up was a boy who had...

Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?

Because they go down so well

Bells

A homeless man with no arms walked into the small quaint village. He stopped at the local church because he heard they had a job available.

The priest told him they were looking for a person to ring the bells, but from the homeless man’s lack of arms he would not be considered.

T...

Two people are discussing their ancestors who lived during world war 2

Girl: my grandparents were in a concentration camp

Boy: so was my grandpa, he died there

Girl: aw that’s so sad

Boy: yeah, poor guy fell out of the guard tower

I have a friend that does maintenance work on television transmitter towers, some of which are more than 1000' in height. He doesn't always wear a safety harness when climbing.

I don't think he grasps the gravity of the situation.

3 rednecks were working on a cell tower...

Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, 'Well, shucks, someone should go and tell his wife.'


Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do ...

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The king was looking for a prince to marry his only daughter.

Naturally the king was very picky and decided to devise a set of tests only the bravest, storngest and most feirce would even dare.

Princes from all around the world showed up and the tests begun.
After a growling month where more then half didn't even survive, a clear winner came forward...

What do the Twin Towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common?

They both went down on my dad.

What type of pizza did the twin towers order?

Plain

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An old woman took her husband to the doctor. The doctor checked the husband's pulse, then told the woman, "I'm sorry, your husband is dead."

The woman was shocked. "I don't believe it. Are you sure? I want to be absolutely sure, are there any other tests you can do?"

The doctor responded, "I'm quite sure, but if you'd like we do have some alternative tests that we can perform."

"YES! I have to be absolutely certain."
...

I climbed a really tall tower in Paris

Unfortunately, Eiffel off.

Why is the tower of Pisa leaning?

Becouse she was faster then the Twin Towers.

As they stood on top of The Eiffel Tower, watching a beautiful sunset, he got down on one knee and said, “Honey?”

She gasped audibly and said, “Yeah?”

He said, “Help! My replacement knee is made of magnets.”

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An aircraft control tower suddenly last communication with a small twin engine aircraft

A moment later the tower land line rang and was answered by one of the employees.
The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone!
He yelled,Mayday, mayday!
The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack! I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and h...

TIL that the leaning tower of Pisa collapsed after 848 years.

After an official investigation it was discovered not enough tourists have been holding it up since the start of the pandemic.

The Italian government has decided to put a big clock similar to Big Ben in the leaning tower of Piza.

Now they’ll have the time as well as the inclination.

Clock tower maintenance workers are going on strike!

“It’s about high time,” commented the union representative.

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3 men and a wizard are on top of a tower with no way down, the wizard says to the three men, "jump and say something while falling, and whatever you said will meet you at the bottom"

The first man jumped and yelled "pillows!". The man landed safely on some pillows. The second man jumped and yelled "Hay!". He was saved by landing in a pile of hay. The third man took the longest to jump because he was afraid of heights, but when he finally jumped he look down and yelled "OH CRAP!"

What do you call a woman who spends a lot of time in church towers?

Belle.

What do you call a sweatshirt on the ledge of the tower bridge?

A jumper!

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force pl...

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Three men go to Hell [Long]

One random night 3 men went out drinking and having a good time. Drunk, swaying side to side, they decided it was a good idea to walk down the middle of a road. As they get further down the road a truck came through and didn't see them. All three men were hit and died instantly. These 3 men were al...

I'm surprised the tower of Pisa hasn't fallen over during the pandemic

Without all those tourists helping hold it up.

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A man is sitting at a bar. Another gentleman walks up and sits next to him. The first man looks at the new comer and says to him “did You know this bar is so high up in the tower that you can jump out the window and the gusts will lift you up and float you right back in the window?”

The new guy looks at him, astonished at this. The first guy says “watch I’ll show you”, takes a shot of whiskey, runs over to the window and jumps out. Thirty seconds later he floats right back up and through the window and walks back over to the Other gentleman.

Amazed, the other guy says “I...

Covid-19 has damaged the Italian economy so much that they have placed a lien on the Tower of Pizza.

Sounds better verbally

A 5G cell tower was built in a rural neighborhood

After the cell tower was erected, people living near the tower started reporting worrying symptoms, such as, as dizzy spells, vomiting, and insomnia.

Over the next few months, these symptoms increased in both frequency and intensity--sometimes people would completely lose consciousness and fa...

Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?

It’s a real Eiffel.

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The dark presence of the knight in black armor terrified the patrons of the inn. And he was sulking at the bar, clearly worried as he down the pint of ale.

He towered over the others who were also in the inn's bar, his armor covered in jagged spikes that were as lethal as the man-sized swords that hung from his back. His eyes glowed blood-red and a sickening black miasma poured through the small cracks in the plate armor. He even had a large pair of ho...

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So a church needed a bell ringer…

The friar puts a sign outside that said ‘bell ringer wanted, tryouts Saturday morning’

Saturday morning rolls around, and there were three people lined up out front of the church waiting to try to ring the bell. A tall, muscular man, a skinnier, frail man, and an average sized man.

T...

Did you know that Eiffel Tower was named after the engineer who designed and built the tower?

Mr. Gustave Tower.

What is an Eiffel Tower?

A threesome with two guys and a girl, where one guy is hitting it from behind, and the other guy is getting a head. The guys are high-fiving over the girl!

Girl: Ewww - get your hands away!!

Me: But then its just a London Bridge!

I used to work for a used computer sales shop. I tried to convince my boss to have a 9/11 sale, 2 towers for the price of 1.

It didn’t fly.

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Wonderwoman was sunbathing naked on top of the justice league tower...

Superman was flying over and he had the idea that "hey I'm quick as lightning, I could go down there and have sex with her really quick then be out of there in a second." So he flies down, gets the job done and flies off. Wonderwoman jumps up and goes "what the hell was that?" Invisible man replies ...

A crazy man put a gun to my head and told me if I don't break the world record for the tallest filet mignon tower he would kill me and my family.

The steaks have never been higher.

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were on top of a water tower...

They were eating sack lunches. The brunette pulls his out and says “Damn, I’m tired of my family making me the same sandwiches everyday! If i have another one of these, I’m going to jump off of this water tower and kill myself!” The blonde and the redhead feel the same way because they too have the ...

From the beginning, Rapunzel never wanted a man to climb her tower to save her

She was just kinky and wanted someone to pull on her hair

I have a medical condition, where i sometimes Turn into a small Tower with a weapon on top.

My doctor said, it is called "Turret-Syndrome"

There was a competition at Sydney's center point tower.

Whoever could drop their watch from the tower, get to the bottom and then catch the watch will win $100000. A man from Western Australia tried his luck by dropping his watch and running down the stairs (if there are stairs). He picked up his broken watch and left. A man from Queensland dropped his w...

My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.

The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.

You hear about the cellphone towers that got married?

It was a nice ceremony, but the reception was *amazing.*

RIP Gilbert Gottfried...

Now he can finally tell that infamous 9/11 joke to the people who were in the towers.

A government agent is responsible for finding an architect to build a tower

So he brings 3 architects, a Chinese, an American and an Iranian. The Chinese architect says I charge 3 Millions, 1.5M for material, 1M for workers and 0.5M as my salary.

He goes to the next one. The American architect says I charge 6 Millions, 3M for material, 2M for workers and 1M as my sal...

Americans are bad at clash royale..

They lost 2 towers already smh.

Someone drew a swastika on The Trump Tower

The police aren't sure if it's a supporter, or a hater.

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Because the clockwork in the clock tower was being repaired, Big Ben wasn't tolling the hour...

Well, Parliament put an advertisement in the newspaper for someone to ring the bell on the hour.

The first fellow to show up for the position had no arms. In the interview, they asked "How can you hit Big Ben with the striker if you have no arms?"

Not to be stopped by his handicap, h...

So far so good

Said the man, after falling from the 20th floor of a tower, while passing the 1st floor.

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second.

"You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."

The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need – a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the sq...

4 things that can be seen from space

1. The Eiffel Tower
2. Mount Everest
3. Pyramids of Giza
4. President Volodymyr Zelenskyy's massive balls

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A hot girl sitting on a large towering plant is commonly seen near where I drive to my house.

Cunt tree roads take me home.

What did the Left tower say to the Right Tower?

Can't talk right now, gotta catch a flight

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There were three men on a tower...

One of the three men said “Hey, did you know that if I jump right now, the pressure of the air will bring me back up.”

Than the second guy said “I don’t believe you.”

The third guy looked at the second guy and than went jumping off and flying right back up. “Believe me now?” Said the...

Did you hear about the new cathedral with no chimes whose towers won an architectural award?

It won the no-bell prize.

A physicist sees a man about to jump off from the top of Sears Tower...

He yells to him "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

I keep telling this joke about the plane that crashed into the twin towers

It's a shame it never lands

Trump was cleaning his gun in Trump Tower...

Kellyanne Conway walks in and asks,

Kellyanne: "Why do you have a gun?"

Trump: "Obama Spy Drones"

Kellyanne: \*laughs\*

Trump: \*laughs\*

Microwave: \*laughs\*

Trump shoots the Microwave.

Workers from a small russian community recently gathered together to fix one of the bells in an old historical bell tower.

Because in soviet russia, bell saved by you!

A bishop advertises a job to ring the bell in his tower.

The only job applicant is a hunchback with no arms. Bishop: "How can you do the job? You can't pull the rope!" Hunchback: "I have a plan - but we have to go to the top of the tower, where the bell is." .. So they climb all those stairs to the top of the tower. Bishop: "Ok, show me your plan."
...

The Night the Eiffel Tower’s Lights Went Out

One fateful night, the lights on the Eiffel Tower went out. It was, of course, a national tragedy for all of France and quite a problem, not the least of which being the fact that airplanes could very easily fly right into the thing.

The French government called every last engineer or electr...

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Looks like f***ing up here

A man, his wife and a good-looking stranger are stranded on a desert island. The wife quickly loses interest in her husband and begins flirting with the good-looking stranger. The three start to build a watchtower.

The stranger offers to take first watch. While the husband and wife gather dr...

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A police officer gets a new case

A police officer is minding his own business when his partner drops a case on his desk. His partner says,"Leonid, a dance studio is running a drug operation, clear as day, open and shut case".
Leonid has had a long day but is excited because open and shut cases don't happen often around thi...

What is it called when Jamie pushed Bran down the tower?

King’s Landing

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