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It’s Saturday morning. Bob’s just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon.

So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and calls home.
“Hello?” says a little girl’s voice.
“Hi, honey, it’s Daddy,” says Bob. “Is mommy near the phone?”
“No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank.”

After a brief pause, Bob says, “But you haven’t got an Uncle Frank, honey...

What do you call it after cowboys eat beans at high noon?

A toot-out at the O.K. Corral.

(Don’t be mean. Inspired by my 2 month old.)

I told my friend: I have an appointment with an ophthalmologist today by noon.

Then he asked me: “and then what?”

Well, I said, then I’ll see...

Noone in Antarctica has COVID19 because..

They are ice-o-lated.

Sphinx: What has four legs in the morning, two at noon, and three at night?

Me: A radioactive vietnamese soldier.

EDIT:
Sphinx: No no he’s got a point.

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A man is looking for a job and sees that the local zoo is searching for a zookeeper.

He goes for it but the director has a negative answer: "I'm so sorry but we just hired someone for the job but if you want, I can offer you something else. Our gorilla died this morning and tomorrow is Saturday so I can't get another gorilla that fast. If you want, we have a gorilla costume and if y...

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Small cake day joke..

Went to the doctor about my fear of palidromes.. I was shaking by the time I got there at noon, then the bastard gave me xanax and told me he had a racecar!!

Hundreds of years ago vulgarity was commonplace, people were often drunk before noon, and public urination was not unusual.

At least that's what I tried telling the security guard at the renaissance faire.

There is a guy who wakes up at 5 am and rides a bicycle until noon every weekend

There is a guy who wakes up at 5 am and rides a bicycle until noon every weekend. He does this no matter what - regardless of rain, snow, or thunder.



One day, however, the conditions are just too bad for him to ride his bike. There is a thick hail, brutal winds, and very slippery ice ...

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A wife asks her husband....

A wife asks her husband "Honey, what do you want for breakfast?"

Husband: " I want sex" and he starts fucking her, finishes, and goes out for some errand.

...

Time passes by and its noon and the wife comes to her husband again.

Wife: "Honey, what do you want for lunch?...

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Two horses live on a farm.

Their names are Harry and Larry. Harry and Larry are best friends. They do everything together, they eat together, play together, sleep together...

One day, while Harry and Larry were grazing in the fields, Larry said to Harry, “Harry, I think it’s time we figure out who the Alpha Horse on th...

Why does noone laugh when Queen Elizabeth farts?

Coz noble gases have no reactions.

Lots of people talk about werewolves...

But noone ever asks whenwolves

High noon

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). "Mind if I play?"

The others ...

When Mad cow disease was going around, noone knew what to do.

It was utter madness.

There's a man who can't get out of bed before noon.

No matter how hard he tries, or how early he gets to sleep, he just cannot get out of bed before noon. For twenty years, his wife puts up with him until she suddenly dies in a freak accident.

The man meets a nurse at the ER who is also going through a life tragedy and they fall for each other...

The Fisherman and the Industrialist

One day, around noon, a fisherman is sitting on the docks, smoking his pipe, next to his haul for the day. A wealthy industrialist sees this and is positively confounded.



"Why aren't you out fishing?" demands the industrialist to the fisherman.



"I have caught all the fi...

Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, along with Mrs. Johnson's mother, go camping.

One morning when the Johnsons wake up, they notice that Mrs. Johnson's mother isn't in the tent. The look around the campsite, but she isn't there.

The Johnsons look all around the campground for hours, and around noon, find her face-to-face with an 800-pound grizzly bear!

"Quick! Do s...

When do cowboys like to smoke weed?

High noon.

The United States, China and Russia are attending a military exercise competition

To see which army is the strongest, the United Nations placed three rabbits in three forests.the one spent least time and sent least soldiers wins.
On day one, the U.S. Army go first. They spent half a day meeting to formulate a battle plan, strictly divide the labor, and then sent a hundred spe...

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TWENTY DOLLARS

On their wedding night, the young bride
Approached her new husband and demanded $20.00 for their first lovemaking Encounter. In his highly aroused state, Her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
C...

Noone actually dreams in color.

It's just a pigment of your imagination.

Friday Lunch


Oh lunch how I long for you so
Quickly to noon i hopeith this day go
I have been preparing for your flavor since your conception last night
Merely your presence at my feet brings delight

Turkey, cheese, horseradish oh my
My only regret is that you're not perched on ...

How do you greet an anti-vaxxer before noon?

Good mourning.

A comment following the video of two different camera views of the guy falling off that drone motorcycle thing reminded me of this oldie but goodie: a guy walks into a bar....

....sits down, orders a beer, and is watching the 5 o’clock news: footage of a guy about to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Bartender says “I bet you $100 he does it.” Guy takes the bet, and not long after has to pay up...

A few minutes later, bartender comes back. “I’m sorry man, I can’t t...

Why do people in the Netherlands not play american football?

because sadly noone scores touchdowns in dutch towns

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

I don’t know, but I trapped it in my bedroom. Send help.

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An old farmer is sitting on his front porch ...

An old farmer is sitting on his front porch early one morning when he sees the neighbor's kid walking up the dirt road. The farmer notices the boy is carrying something. "Hey boy,” the farmer says. “Whatcha got there?"

"This here is some chicken wire. I’m gonna go catch some chickens!”
...

I was home alone, staying with a friend, on holiday in Germany when the phone suddenly rang...

“I am the viper. I am coming in three days.”
I thought it was a prank call, so gave it no thought. I laughed at the peculiarity and hung up.
The next day, I was alone in my friend’s house again, when the phone rang for a second time.
“I am the viper. I am coming in two days.”
This time, ...

Noone laughed when i fell while skating.

But the ice sure cracked up.

Why did noone understand the programmer?

He was talking in code.

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A guy walks out of a bar..

Outside of the bar are two police officers on duty, one of them walking a police dog. The guy goes around the officers to step behind the dog. He steps further towards them, picks up the dogs tail and looks under it. A few moments later the guy lets go of the tail. He shakes his head and goes back i...

I challenge you to a battle of wits at high noon! Do you accept?

Yes you say?! Well consider yourself mentally challenged.

A black guy loses a middle finger in a work accident.

The surgeon tells him: "I'm sorry but I cannot attach your original finger due to the damage. However, I can attach one from a dead person. The thing is, I only have fingers from white people available."

The black guy says it's no problem, as long as he can use all fingers again.

Surge...

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One day, a ridiculously bored King in a small town decided to have a contest and the winner would choose, either to marry his daughter, gold and riches... Or name anything that he desires.

Whomsoever jumps down the moat filled with crocodiles, swims to the sides and climbs back up unharmed shall win the contest and name his price.

The crowd gathered near the edge of the moat where the king shouted:

"Is anyone brave enough to entertain me?". And noone dared to respond.<...

What do you call a fist fight at noon?

A lunchbox

What do you call a pachyderm noone cares about?

It's irrelephant.

The Time Keeper, The Clock Maker, and The Bell Ringer

A time keeper at a factory is in charge of blowing the whistle for the lunch break at noon

When it's almost noon he looks at his watch and right when it strikes 12pm he blows the whistle

One day he bumps his watch against something and he fears that it is a little off

Wanting ...

I have a noon appointment with the horse doctor

How that horse became a doctor I do not know

Jungle Drums

An anthropologist went to study a far-flung tropical island. He found a guide with a canoe to take him upriver to the remote site where he would make his observations. About noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. The anthropologist asked his guide, "What are those dr...

A man wins the lottery

He bursts into his bedroom and screams to his wife “WOW, I won! I finally won the lottery! Pack your bags quick”. The woman all excited replied “should I pack for cold or hot weather?” To which the man said “I don’t care as long as you are out of my house by noon”

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A timely joke

All of the college students were sent home due to the pandemic, but their classes continued online. Two friends were working together on their group project from their respective homes in New York (Mike) and California (Tony).

Mike: hey man, we missed the deadline to submit the group report, ...

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An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter . . .

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope you're are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. B...

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A farmer wakes up to discover that his precious Alpine goat had died overnight.

Since he loved that goat very deeply, he decided to jump into the river by his house and commit suicide. Soon after, his wife woke up, and discovered his note. She too, followed in his steps and jumped into the river.

Their younger son woke up to find both of his parents dead, and seeing no ...

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The thing about Virgin guys is..

that noone gives a fuck

Everyone laughed when i told them I was going to be a comedian

Noone is laughing now...

While on vacation in Spain with my wife..

I I started to feel funny. I had some pain in my chest and felt short of breath. I chalked it up to the long day we had just had, but I continued to feel worse. As we got out of the taxi and walked into the hotel, I collapsed.

It became apparent to my wife and I that I was having a heart atta...

Why do Texans duel at high noon?

They distrust clocks.

What did the lonely ball of dough say?

Noone kneads me :(

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Some college kids are travelling

Some college kids are travelling the world to get some life experience. While visiting Morocco they decided to split up and meet back up at noon for lunch. One young man, losing track of time and not having a watch stops and asks a merchant who was sitting beside a camel.

The merchant looks ...

Dark one

Women are like parking spots, the best ones
already taken so when noone is looking stick it into a disabled one.

How do you know its noon on an Apple Watch?

The screen stays black when you check the time.

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.

The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.

So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.

The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, ...

My brother and I are twins, we share a gym membership.

Every other week I don't go, the others he doesn't go. So far, noone noticed.

Centuries ago, on a remote island in the North Atlantic...

Vikings arrived and began a settlement with help from their Irish thralls. But they weren't alone. All manner of otherworldly beings lurked in the island's hidden corners. The Vikings called these beings *vættir*; the Gaels called them *Aes Sídhe*.

Among these beings were the selkies who frol...

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Soviet Premier Brezhnev, as is his habit, looks out the window of his Kremlin office at the morning sun.

"Good morning, Comrade sun" he says. The sun answers, "Good morning, Comrade Premier."

About noon Brezhnev looks up through the skylight and says, "Good day, Comrade sun." The sun dutifully answers "Good day, Comrade Premier."

In the afternoon Brezhnev peers out his window at the set...

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A man goes to the hospital and says to the doctor

“I’m here for my premature ejaculation exam”

“But it’s noon and your appointment is for 5:30!”

“See doc, I came too early!”

Quasimodo needed a sub bell ringer...

Put an ad in the paper. No one showed up for weeks.
Finally a knock on the door.
Guy standing there with no arms.
Quasi is incredulous, doesn’t think he can do it.
Guy begs..”c’mon Quasi, give me a chance...as a handicapped person yourself, you know how hard it is to find work”
Quasim...

Olie gets pulled over for speeding through town with a pig in the passenger seat.

So Olie gets pulled over by an officer of the law for running 100 mph through the middle of town with a pig in the passenger seat. The officer says "What in the world are you doing Olie? What's the hurry?" He says, "I"m just a trying to get dis here pig back to the farmer whose truck dis pig fell...

Two house fires break out at noon on a Wednesday and destroys two families' homes. One family lives in a capitalist country and the other lives in a socialist country. Though the fires were nearly identical, only the family living in the socialist country dies in the fire...

Because in the capitalist country, the parents had jobs and the kids were in school.

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Smart-ass kid wants to challenge a famous gunfighter.

He walks into the saloon, and says "My name's Jimmy Johnson, and I'm here to challenge Black Bart to a showdown at noon tomorrow!"

The bartender says "Well, if you're going to try to outdraw Black Bart, you 'd better be prepared."

The kid says "I've got my gun, I've been practicing for...

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A doctor and his wife are having a heated argument over breakfast.

The fight escalates, both say things they’d soon regret, and he caps it off with “...and sex with you ain’t so great anyway!” before storming off to work.

During his lunch time, he feels horrible, and decides to call his wife to apologize. After 10 rings, she finally answers.

“What too...

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Three guys are knocking on heavens door. (Sorry for my english)

After a few minutes Petrus comes, wearing his cozy pyjamas, saying: "Guys its late, i need to get some rest, we are closed for today."
"Ehm Petrus", one man replied, "we are kinda dead so please open the door."
Petrus sighs. "Ok, each one of you tells me the story of his death, and if ...

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A farmer buys a young cock.

As soon as he gets it home, it fucks all the farmers 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At noon cock again screws 150 hens.

Next day, it's fucking the ducks and geese too. Sadly later in the day, he finds the cock lying on the ground half dead and vultures circling overhead. Farmer says "you ...

How many vegans does it take to eat a cheese and bacon burger?

One, if noone is watching.

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A woman, tired of bad relationships, posts an ad online

The ad reads "Looking for a man who would treat me right and won't hit me, who would never run away from me, and would give me the best sex of my life. If you meet this criteria, come see me at 22A Greenich avenue"

People come and go, but noone is to her liking. Just when she was about to giv...

The Texan Rancher and the Kentucky Farmer

A Texas Rancher was driving his truck through Kentucky one day when he sees a farmer out tending his field. He pulls over on a whim to talk to the farmer.

"Greetings friend! This looks like a pretty nice farm. How much land do you have?"

The Farmer gestures, "Well you see that river...

A Western Joke (OC)

Three brothers, Marty, Jim, and Joe Sly, were apprehended robbing a small town bank after shooting the security guard.

The judge sentenced them to death by hanging, but the people realized they didn't have a gallows.

They used a square box for the base, put a heavy pot on a raised pl...

Accidents keep happening consistently at 12:12 in the afternoon.

Dammit noon noon

Absolutely true story that is not fake

In school, I had a friend named Michael Locke. Every day, me and Michael would meet up at the bus stop and ride the school bus together.

Now, one day in sixth grade I slept over at Michael's house, and I had packed a small alarm clock to wake me up in the morning, because I was a *very* heav...

In the early 1800s three explorers are captured by a Native American tribe

In the early 1800s three explorers are captured by a Native American tribe...A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Russian. They are all taken in front of the chief. The chief is furious that they trespassed on the scared ancestral burial land but says they would have one chance to redeem themselves. Nex...

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Husband is late returning home from playing golf

"Wife" - "Where have you been? You said you'd be done with golf by noon!

" Husband - "I'm so sorry Honey... but you probably don't want to hear the reason.

" Wife - "I want the truth, and I want it NOW !

" Husband - "OK, Fine. We finished in under 4 hours, quick beer in the Club...

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White man wants to become an Eskimo..

He comes to Alaska and finds an Inupiaq village, he approaches the elder and asks "Elder, How do I become an Eskimo?" Elder thinks for a moment, "First you need to find a polar bear and kill it, then you find an eskimo woman and mate with her.." The white man left and noone saw him for 6 months unti...

My friend is crazy, he told me he is going to bring a bulletproof vest to school

For real though, noone is going to shoot back anyways.

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Practice!!!

A farmer sees an advertisement for a virile rooster and immediately buys it. Upon returning home it puts him into the hen pen and goes for his noon siesta.
Upon returning he finds that the roster has fucked every single one of the 50 hens. The farmer is shocked but satisfied that he'll have a ric...

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Farm kid writes letter home after joining Marines....

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am ge...

A local church is holding auditions for a new bell ringer.

A line of applicants soon forms and the Reverend decides to test how well each can do the job.


After several people give it a go, one simple looking man caught the Reverend's attention by slamming his face into the church bell to make it sound.


"My friend that was impressive"...

The husband of the woman next door died.

The husband of the woman next door died. After the funeral, the widow shut herself inside the house for most of the day. The only time the widow would leave her home was at the crack of dawn, where she would stand outside and wail loudly in her yard until noon, before quickly retreating into her hom...

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So Satan asks God to let him back into Heaven...

God says "Satan, you've betrayed me before, but I am a just and forgiving god. You may get back into Heaven, if you can beat my only son in a programming contest."

Satan and Jesus meet to agree to the terms. The contest is a simple one. God will set a timer for six hours, and both Jesus and S...

A Texas farmer was touring England. He happened to meet an English farmer and asked him, "What size farm do you have?"

The Englishman proudly announced, "Thirty-five acres!"

"Thirty-five acres?" the Texan scoffed. "Why, I can get in my truck at 8:00 AM and start driving and at noon, I am still on my farm. I can eat lunch and start driving again and at 5:00 PM I am still on my farm.

"Ah, yes," the Engli...

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[NSFW]George and Sarah had been married for 5 years

George and Sarah had been married for 5 years. It was a failing marriage. George couldn’t do anything in bed to impress Sarah and never got her to orgasm. He tried everything. As a last ditch attempt, he went to a psychic named Roxanne.

George asked Roxanne how to surprise Sarah in bed and g...

A man with no arms is homeless and looking for a job.

He goes to the pastor in his local church one morning and says:
"Pastor, I am in desperate need of work. Is there any kind of job you can give me, despite my obvious disability?"
The pastor, with a cheeky grin, points to the churches bell tower and says:
"You see that bell up in the tower? ...

A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. Upstairs the wife th...

We should build a wall Out of the Mueller report...

Because noone can get over it!

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Heaven was running out of spots for new souls

So St. Peter was instructed by God to only let in people, who, apart from having lived honorable lives, had also suffered a terribly traumatic last moment, and needed consolation for that.

The next day, St. Peter went to his place at the front gates of Heaven, and three men were there, waitin...

Life hack

If you sleep till noon you only have to pay for two meals instead of three.

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Good old Stalin.

So Stalin wakes up one morning and goes to his balcony, where the Sun is rising in the east.

"Good morning, comrade Sun!" he calls out.

"Good morning, comrade Stalin!" the Sun replies, "I hope you slept well."

At noon, Stalin goes for a walk, he looks up at the Sun and says, "go...

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Young cupple got married

On the morning the husbent says

I have one condition:

I eat 3 times a day in the morning at 7 am I want breakfast to be served either I'm here or not I want it to be served


At noon I want lunch at 12am to be served either I'm here or not


And I also want dinner to...

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A film director is getting ready early in the morning to start work.

It's 6am. There's a knock at his trailer door. He answers and a crew member tells him that they've been postponing too long and have to get to work asap.

The director knows this but appreciates the reminder. He only has time to get dressed, no brushing his teeth, no eating, nothing else. ...

A couple move to Nevada and the husband hits it big at the casino

He rushes into his house and yells to his wife,

"Pack up your things. I just won a million dollar slot machine jackpot!"

The wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"

The husband responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon."

A man stumbles upon a magic lamp

A man stumbles upon a magic lamp. Intrigued by his discovery, he proceeds to rub the lamp and before his very eyes, a genie appears.

"I have finally been released from my slumber and now I shall grant you three wishes in return. choose wisely!" The genie says.

The man considers his de...

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During It's 60th Year Anniversary, an Old Folk's Home Decided to Get a Magician to Perform.

This Magician Was Unlike Any Other Magician. He Specialised in Hypnosis.


That Day, He Brought His Family's Heirloom, a Pocket Watch Made of Gold.


At Noon, Everyone Gathered At the Home's Hall, Waiting for The Magician's Arrival.


Upon Arriving, the Magician Pulled Out...

Who wants to be a Millionaire?

A lady is on "Who wants to be a Millionaire" and she has already won $500,000. She is on her last question with only the phone a friend left.

Chris Harrison: You can leave now with $500,000 dollars, or you can try for the million. If you fail to answer this last question you lose all your mon...

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Some good tips for your English class.

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It...

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If my life was a sex position it would be reverse cowgirl

Because noone will look me in the eye and I'm not in control

Bill Clinton Dies and Goes to Heaven...

Bill Clinton dies and is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greets Bill with some warmth and a smile. Bill is a bit confused, but goes along with the warm welcome. Further adding to Bill's confusion is what seems to be an infinite wall of old clocks.

Bill asks, "Peter, wha...

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An old woman with a huge purse walks into a bank...

And she demands from the teller that she sees the President of Manhattan's First Bank, and she has 4 million dollars in her purse for him to see. The teller calls the President, and he arrives shortly to decide whether or not this old lady is just senile.

The old woman approaches him and say...

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An older man retires, and decides to move to Mexico

because his modest savings will go a lot further there. He tries, but really struggles to learn the language and local customs. Some days he’d sleep until noon and enjoy being retired…but a few days a week he made it a point to wake up early, fry a couple of eggs, and head into town to immerse himse...

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A farmer was minding his business on a day like any other

A farmer was minding his business on a day like any other doing chores and caring for his land.

By noon just as he was enjoying lunch, a black government car comes rolling down the road. A few agents get out and slowly approach him.

“We are to perform a search of your premises on sus...

Guy runs into a bar

Guy runs into a bar around noon on a sunny day. He barrels his way towards the bar where no one but the bartender is around and says “quick, give me ten shots of your best whiskey!” Without skipping a beat, the bartender sets him with all ten shots lined up on the bar, and the guy hits them one afte...

The CIA lost track of its operative in Ireland “Murphy. ”

The CIA boss says, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he’s somewhere in Ireland. If you think you’ve located him, tell him the code words, “The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning. ” If it’s really him, he’ll answer, “Yes, and for mist at noon as well. ”

So the...

Guy goes to prison

He has heard lots of stories so he always tries to shower only when noone else is around. This goes quite well for a couple of days.

Then one day, he drops the soap while showering. He timidly looks everywhere before bending over to make sure noone is around. Once he gets a hold of the soap t...

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I Got Pull Over Today (real conversation with cop)

So….today I got pulled over about 15 feet from the front of my building on my way to work for rolling a stop as I was putting my seatbelt on. I just left it unbuckled so he didn’t think I was trying to pull one over on him.

Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Because I’m an...

A priest lived behind his chapel

...and one morning, he heard a knock on his door. The priest opens the door and finds an armless man standing there.

"How can I help you, son?" Asks the priest.

"Well sir," said the fellow, "The name's Sam, and I'm down out of luck. It's hard to get by as an armless man, and I need to ...

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A man has stomach problems and doctors can't figure out what's wrong.

A man was having recurring stomach pains and eventually said enough was enough and went to the doctor about it.

The doctor couldn't figure out what was wrong with him and referred him to another doctor, who also couldn't find the problem and referred him to a stomach specialist.

The ...

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Jesus goes into a biker bar

Jesus goes into a biker bar and sees 3 men drinking at noon. One with a hunch back, one with a bum knee, and an old redneck.

Jesus walks over to the hunch back, puts his hand on the man's back, which immediately straightens. Hunch back says, thank you jesus. I'm healed!

Jesus walks ove...

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A minister wants to lick his queen's bosom

He asks Tenali Raman to help him achieve this desire. Tenali says he will help him out, but only for a fee. The minister pays him half the gold then and promises the rest once his desire has been fulfilled. Tenali agrees.

Tenali goes to the palace washerman, bribes him and gets him to put a s...

A university student writes a letter to her parents, hoping that it can convince them to give her money.

Dear Mom and Dad, College i$ going well. $o far, my cla$$e$ have not been too $tre$$ful and I've been learning a lot. My profe$$or$ are for the mo$t part very nice, with the exception of my economic$ profe$$or. I've al$o been making so many new friend$ and have been joining $o many new club$. I ju$t...

A joke my art teacher told my class

There was a little down in Italy with a church with a bell. The priest would have to run up 80 flights of stairs to reach the bell and ring it to show the people it was noon. Now, the priest was old and could not longer walk up the stairs and ring the bell. He decided it would be best to find an ass...

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