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Wedding Reception Jokes

I was at a wedding reception…

When I noticed the woman sitting opposite me kept staring until finally she spoke.
“Every time you smile, I want to take you back to my place”
In my excitement I asked if she was single.
“No” she replied. “I’m a Dentist”

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.

His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?

“Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age."

His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.

"Well", he replied.  "I said I was 87!"

The D.J. at a wedding reception yelled, "Would all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

[NSFW] After their wedding reception, the newly weds went to their hotel to check in.

"Do you have reservations?" the desk clerk asked.
"Only one" replied the man. "She says she won't do anal"

Went to a French-Spanish wedding reception.

The buffet was alright, but the wedding cat was delicious.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irish bride is interviewed by police after a fight broke out at her wedding reception.

*“Well officer, it’s customary for the bride to dance with the best man before the bride and groom leave for their honeymoon. I was dancing with the best man Paddy when all of a sudden me husband Seamus came running on the dance floor and kicked me as hard as he could smack bang between my legs.”*...

A guy walks into a wedding reception and goes over to the bar and asks

Is this the punch line?

Two middle aged gentlemen are seated next to each other at a wedding reception

Gentleman 1: Not too long ago the bride used to play in my lap. Look at her now, getting married, looking so pretty...

Gentleman 2: You must be her uncle, right?

Gentleman 1: Nope. I am her boss.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Happily ever after

Bob was tired of being single but he was extremely insecure about his dick. He decided to join a church and woo a really shy woman to make his wife.

He found a decent woman who showed up to church every Sunday. She was quiet and always kept to herself. After a year of dating her she a...

At a wedding reception, the groom’s grandfather stood up to make his toast. Having been married for 60 years, he wanted to pass on his secret to the newlyweds. The grandfather addressed the happy couple, saying “the tip to a happy and long lasting marriage is to beat your wife up every morning.”

An uncomfortable silence followed. The grandfather continued, “yes, I beat my wife up every morning. I get up around 6:30 and she gets up around 8.”

My friend and I were late for a meeting

My friend and I were late for a meeting

We'd never been in that particular building before and we were lost.

My friend opened the wrong door and it turned out to be for a wedding reception.

After he closed the door, he seemed embarrassed and I said to him, "You look like you've ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW. Establishing Good Clear Communication is the Key to a Happy Marriage.

At his wedding reception the groom's uncle (who's had more than a few drinks) pulls the groom aside.

"My boy in this day & age I have pass along to you the benefit of my experience.
You know it's best to establish clear communication with your new wife. Cause once the honeymoon period ...

What's what?

A very innocent young couple had spent a number of months courting very chastely indeed, not least because they had only the haziest idea of what being unchaste even involved. So at the wedding reception both he and she were being taken aside by their friends and told "Hey! You'll get what's what al...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Irish Wedding

A wild, Irish wedding reception is brought to a premature end when Paddy grabs the microphone and announces, "The party is over. We have run out of booze, there is no food left, and somebody has fucked the bride."


As everyone is heading towards the doors discussing what had happened, anot...

The Cheerio Joke

Oh boy do I have a joke for you...
Its called the cheerio joke.

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So there is this land called cheerio land and in cheerio land there are 7 classes of cheerio, 0-5 and the frosted cheerios. Now there is this level 0 cheerio. Hes hom...

So in Cheerio Land there are 4 levels to the social hierarchy.

At the bottom you've got plain cheerios, these are your basic working class folks.

Above them are the honey nut cheerios, more of the middle-management level cheerios.

After them are the fruity cheerios, you know, the real artsy, middle-class types.

At the top are the frosted ch...

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