The reunion

Husband goes with his wife to her high school reunion. After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and obviously bored.

The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance....There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, b...

I recently entered a competition to see who had gained the most weight and lost the most hair.

Obviously, it wasn’t called that. It was advertised as a ‘School Reunion.’

Reunion Special

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "surely I can't look that old."

"My name is Archana. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.

I noticed his BDS degree on the wall, which bore his full name.

Suddenly,...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."


"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

Mandatory temperature checks will be required for attending the Foreigner reunion concert

If you’re hot blooded, they’ll check it and see

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual reunion of all time greats.......

\* Newton said he'd drop in.
\* Socrates said he'd think about it.
\* Ohm resisted the idea.
\* Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
\* Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.
\* Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.
\* Volta was electrified at the prospe...

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out.

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time." Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?" ...

4 highschool friends have a reunion...

As they sit down, they all start to mingle and the conversation turns to their sons. At this point, the fourth friend goes to the bathroom.

Friend 1: My son was so successful, he started at the bottom of a construction company and now owns it! He got to build himself a mansion.

Friend ...

Alabama family reunions

It has been reported that COVID-19 has greatly reduced family reunions due to social distancing requirements. Evidently this has caused a significant decrease in Alabama teen pregnancy.

I had a great time watching "The Worlds Largest Outdoor Family Reunion" yesterday.

I guess most people just call it the Alabama vs Auburn game.

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A high school bully sees an old victim at their reunion,

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: Im not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I dont have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

I went to the Calrissian family reunion.

What a bore. Spent way too much time talking to some Rando.

I went to a family reunion in Nevada. Turns out what happens in Vegas...

Is executable back in Texas.

My 10 year high school reunion was this weekend...

I ran into these twin brothers I hadn’t seen since graduation, and I thought to myself..

“Well, you two still look the same.”

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What’s the difference between 69 and family reunion?

You only see one asshole in 69

What do you need for the reunion of the Beatles?

A pistol and two cartridges.

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I went to a porn star reunion yesterday.

It was nice to come across old faces again.

A man visits his 70th class reunion

He drinks a fair amount there and then asks for his crush from high school's hand in marriage. She accepts and then they drink some more. The next morning the man remembers that he had asked the woman to marry him but not her response, so he calls her up and asks if she said yes. She replies, "Of co...

A group of elders meet in a restaurant every 10 years for a reunion.

When they're 60 Years old they say, let's go to "The Southern Merchant", because the food there is really good.

When they're 70 Years old they say, let's go to "The Southern Merchant", because the waitress is cute.

When they're 80 years old they say, let's go to "The Southern Merchant"...

Funerals are like family reunions

minus one

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Two men start talking at a high school reunion.

“It’s been a long time, what have you been up to?”

“I’m a business man now, I run a very successful company”

“Ah, I can see that by the briefcase and suit”

“What do you do?”

“Oh, arrr, I’m a pirate.”

“Ah, I see that by your peg leg, hook and eye patch. How did you ...

I hate family reunions....

I see too many of my ex’s there

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That's how the fight got started...

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I ...

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Summers goes to his 20th High school reunion...

He sees and old friend of his. The guy is wearing a 3 cornered hat, he's got a peg leg, a hook on his right hand, and a black patch over his left eye.

Summers says, "Robey, this is a reunion, not a costume party. What's up?"

Robey says, " Well I always said I wanted to be a pirate, and...

A husband and wife are sitting at a table at her twentieth high-school reunion.

There is an incredibly drunk man slumped over at the table across from them.



“Do you know that guy?” the husband asks.



“Yes,” the wife replies somberly. “That’s my ex-boyfriend. He started drinking right after we broke up and hasn’t been sober since.”



“Go...

Why do children of recovering alcoholics have such big family reunions?

They have twelve-step-parents.

Why did the Confederate general get mad at his family?

Because they wanted to have a reunion.

Two guys meet up at a high school reunion

They start talking about people from their past.

"Hey, remember that flat chested girl Sam?"

"Oh yea, how she doing?"

"I just saw her like 15 minutes ago and now she's like this" - He holds his hands in front of his chest, fingers curled in.

"Oh, she got breast enlargemen...

Friendly Crow: How was your family reunion?

Antisocial Crow: It was murder...

Only in Alabama

When your girlfriend insists on coming to your family reunion because she is afraid you'll cheat.

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Reunion

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.
Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the...

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I went to my school reunion last weekend and the main topic of conversation was still about the stunning substitute teacher…

…we had one day, in the early eighties, who gave a boy a blow job in front of the entire class.

She went down in history.

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During the family reunion, I was walking over to my uncle's table.

But as I neared him, I fell.

I found myself on my uncle's lap when he said,

"Trying to fuck with me?"

Every family reunion we would see our uncle who we called “caveman” we called him that because he was big and hairy and every now and then he would eat one of us

Then we found out he was a bear

Dave (Rich) and his friends were having a reunion...

And it was a glamorous party! It had cake, fruitpunch, pizza, everything you could imagine!

They all fell asleep that night feeling good. Once they were in bed, Dave and a friend of his walked out of the room. They were kidnapped, and shipped away to some dangerous tribal island.

"What...

For my graduating class' 20th reunion, we're digging up our time capsule from freshman year

I cant wait to see how big my dog Sparky got

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Family reunion with Dad and stepmom

Dear Mom,


We are having a great time here at Camp Hazardous Hills. Grandpa is making me write to you in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away.


Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on th...

A man and his wife go to a class reunion.....

A man and his wife go to a class reunion after a grueling 4 hour drive. When they arrive they're given name tags and head to the gymnasium.


They start talking to some friends when the wife is starting to get thirsty. So she asks the husband to go get in line to give her some punch.
...

A group of old friends discussed where they should meet for lunch for their reunion.

They were all aged about 40.

Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant, because the waitresses there were pretty.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at ...

What do you call it when you show up near the end of a redneck family reunion?

Speed dating.

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Three men crash land on a desert island, 3 days later they find a magic lamp in the sand on the beach

>**this joke works best if you do the actions when you're telling it**

The men get very excited about the lamp and as they dust the sand away it hums and buzzes before a genie emerges in a puff of blue smoke.

"You have freed me from my prison," says the Genie, "For this, I will give...

I told my old classmate at our 10-year reunion that I'm a writer. "Oh yeah?" he asks. "Have you sold anything yet?"

I said, "Sure. My house, my car, and all my stuff."

I hate people who defend their laziness with their zodiac sign!

I mean, I invited my friend into an important friend reunion but she didnt go!

I asked her what was wrong she said' "Oh, I have cancer"

Yeah im an Aries! So what?

Reunion

*What is Reunion?*

Reunion is when you get up in the morning and tell your wife you are going to work.

Instead you go to your neighbour's wife to make love to her.

Her husband comes and knocks on the door.

You go under the bed.

The husband enters the bedroom. <...

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I was at my 20 year highschool reunion and a friend asked, "If you could have sex with any girl from highschool who would it be?"

I told him I think we are getting a little old for highschool girls, maybe we should date people our own age.

I'm always the life of my family reunions.

It's no wonder they call me the laughingstock of the family.

(I heard this one a while back, sorry) Why can't you use a the restroom at a Beatles reunion concert?

Because there is no John.

Forty years after graduating, four friends from business school decide to have a reunion.

The first three arrive at the same time. As they wait for their fourth friend, they start talking, catching up on the years they missed. All of them have had careers, married, and had children who are themselves having careers.

"My son has been such a successful real estate businessman that h...

What's the worst part of going to a southern family reunion?

Seeing your ex.

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One I've never heard outside family reunions.

Three men are in a fiery car crash and all are killed instantly. They go to heaven. At the pearly gates they are met by St. Peter. "There's my favorite dead guys," he says. "Look, there's only one rule here. Don't step on a duck." The gates open to reveal every inch apparently covered in ducks.
...

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A woman pregnant with triplets , 2 girls and a boy, was walking down the street when she was shot 3 times in the stomach

Somehow, miraculously , she and all 3 of her babies survived. 19 years later she’s at a family reunion and her first daughter comes up to her , visibly shaken. She says “mom, I just pissed out a bullet and I’m freaking out!” She sits down and holds her head in her hands , panicking. The mom figures ...

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Three men are walking down a beach when they find a lamp buried in the sand.

They dig up the lamp, brush it off, and poof! a genie appears.

"I shall grant each of you three wishes," the genie intones.

The first guy wishes for unlimited wealth. Poof! Wish granted.

The second guy also wishes for unlimited wealth. Poof!

The third guy starts flailing ...

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There were once three friends who were absolutely inseparable in high school.

They did everything together. You could not find one without the other two nearby. But, as so often happens, after graduation, they all went their separate ways.
One of the friends went on to become a very successful defense attorney. Top of his class at Harvard Law, opened his own firm, made e...

I've got an elementary school reunion coming up that I'm dreading,

because I've gained like a hundred pounds.

I brought weed and poker chips to my family reunion last week.

Apparently I missed the memo on what a "potluck dinner" was.

My wife said she'd love for us to go and see the Monkees reunion concert in Switzerland.

I thought she was joking.

Then I saw her face ........ Now I'm in Geneva..

If the USSR suddenly came back together...

... it should be called the Soviet Reunion.

Family reunions must be really awkward in the south...

Especially when you see your exes there

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Alabamians have the most sex on Thanksgiving

It's usually a family reunion, afterall.

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Family Reunion...

So a whole huge family is at their annual reunion. The oldest living member of the family "Great Granny" is sitting in a big comfy recliner off to the side so the children don't bother her. Suddenly the 98 year old leans over to the left. Uncle Bill rushes over and straightens her up saying "Dont wo...

Why would I go to a high school reunion?

I have Facebook, I already know who got fat.

A joke my grandma told me at our last family reunion.

Liz and Mary are working hard at their desks. Liz stands up and invites Mary to go outside for a cigarette. They go outside only to find it's pouring rain so badly it would be impossible to smoke. However, Mary pulls a condom out of her purse and puts it around her cigarette and proceeds to smoke...

The Party

Last week, I went to a party and had a good time. Before I knew it, I was chatting up a girl that I started to like. We hooked up, and later that night, I got laid. It was only as I was driving home that I remembered that the party was my family reunion.

I’m a little jealous of everyone in Alabama.

They only have to go to one family reunion.

Best part of an Alabamian wedding?

Can also double as a family reunion.

If Russia became the Soviet Union again

It would be the Soviet Reunion

It’s the 10 year anniversary for Macmillan cancer support.

They hosted a reunion for sufferers from the last 10 years but hardly anyone showed up.

What does it take to have a Beatles reunion?

2 more bullets

One day, when he was visiting family, Sleezy Steve happened to notice his cousin had become very attractive..

Steve: Hey cuz! Wanna play redneck family reunion?

Cousin: What?! No!

Steve: That’s the spirit.

One from my Grandma.

During our last family reunion, my aunts, uncle, and my mom were sitting around, making conversation and telling jokes. My uncle asked my grandma (95 yrs old) if she had any jokes.
G’ma: “I had six of them.”
Referring to her six children. You’ve still got it, Gram.

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Little Johnny was curious about something

One day, Little Johnny was taking a shower with his mother. He looks up at her breasts, curious as to what they are. The next day, he decides to ask his father.

"Daddy, what are those big bouncy things on Mommy's chest?" Little Johnny asks.

The dad, deciding to mess with his son, says ...

My wife just left me

Family reunions are gonna be pretty awkward now.

How is the south dealing with birth control

They are banning family reunions

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"The elephant is vegetarian" I smugly declared as I put on my scientist's hat.

"Oh, and how would you know that?" retorted my wife, as she often does when I make such sweeping assertions.

"Well," I said, "I have examined elephant turd carefully and I have found it to be quite vegetarian."

"In fact," I unwisely continued, "If you were to pick up an elephant t...

I read that there's going to be a "Rally for Love" in Wisconsin

Usually the just call it a "family reunion," but whatever.

A set of identical twins are separated at birth

A mother in Italy was unable to keep her babies, she had two identical twin boys. Unfortunately she couldn’t find a family to take both children so two separate families each took one of the boys. One of the families was from Lebanon and named their son “Amal”. The other family was from Spain and...

You might be a redneck if

You might be a redneck if you have a peeing for distance contest at your family reunions and Grandma always wins.

A schoolreunion

A man named Chris sits down at a table at his high-school reunion. It's been a while since the last reunion, and he can't seem to remember a single face from the crowd.

Suddenly another guy sits down beside Chris. The man is very tall, about 6'3, and his face is stretched out. As if someone w...

I just got laid at a party.

I love family reunions.

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I got invited to my first HS party...

ten years too late, fuck you all i'm not going to the reunion, get bent.

Little Joe was at the farm, when he saw a dead chicken.

It was lying on its back, rigor mortis locking its legs in the air. He asks his dad why the chicken has his legs in the air. Dad, who's not exactly the brightest fellow, tells him that it's so that Jesus can reach down and pull them to heaven.

Later, at the family reunion, Joe runs to his d...

A priest told me this joke as a kid.

There were 3 men, they were best friends, and they were quite unhealthy. Their names were, Bert, Chester, and Earl.

They were actually really unhealthy and Bert decided that he needed to take charge of him and his friends' health. He decided that they were going to be on a diet together to he...

Stop me if you've heard this one...

A high school decides to put on a reunion for the class of '98. Turnout is slow at first, but eventually the well known former students start to show up. There's student body president Leslie Pindogs and her kids, star quarterback Robert Course and his wife Molly, valedictorian Sandra Kevver and her...

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