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Festive Jokes

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Tampax have announced a line of festive tampons…

It’s for the Christmas period only though

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A city guy decides to pursue his dream to be a lumberjack

So he moves to a remote logging town in the northern woods. It's just 40 men in this little community, hundreds of miles from the nearest town of any size, and he wonders how they manage their "loneliness," if you know what I mean.

One evening in the spring, after the day's work has ended, a ...

What is the most festive chemical compound?

3HO (ho ho ho)

If anybody is alone during the festive period please don't hesitate to let me know.

I need to borrow some chairs.

Be careful on the road this festive season. Lots of men are drinking

And getting their wives to drive

what did the cult leader replace his punch with to be more fall festive

sui-cider

My wife hasn't been feeling very festive lately, but I've gotten her a present that will help her to discover the true meaning of Christmas...

A dictionary.

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Forgot the tree this year, so I'm putting up a 6 foot, tinsel covered Tampon.

Just for the festive period.

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3 men die on Christmas morning...

Three men die on Christmas morning. They end up in front of the pearly gates and Saint Peter, even though none of them ever expected it.

Peter says "You guys drink, smoke and womanize. You shouldn't be getting into heaven. However, it's Christmas and I'm feeling festive. If you can each show ...

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LPT: Play the Game of Thrones theme tune before you have sex if there is a risk of being overheard.

Got me and my SO through the recent family stay overs during the festive season.

Was driving home earlier and I saw all the christmas lights up and I was a little sad because, those lights are expensive, and there are homeless people everywhere.

They'd look so much more festive wearing those lights.

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Three men die on Christmas Day

As they meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he explains that because they died on such an important day, in order to get into heaven, they need to show him something Christmas-y.

They all look at each other, knowing that they don't have anything festive on them, so they would have to improvis...

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