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Celebrated Jokes

Today I celebrated my 365th day sober!!

And it only took me 14 years

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary

After the party had ended, the wife walked over to the husband, punched him in the arm and said "That's for twenty-five years of bad sex!"

The husband hesitated a moment, then walked over to his wife, punched her in the arm and said "That's for knowing the difference!"

Pride Month should be celebrated in September.

As we know, Pride cometh before the Fall.

A Michael Sam joke

After being drafted by the St. Louis Rams, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic because it’s the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams. - Conan O'brien

What Canadian holiday is celebrated on May 1st?

Maple Fool's Day

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A reporter went to a small village...

And asked one of the villagers, "hey could you tell me a story about your village?" The villager says "well one time a neighbors goat got lost in the mountains, and we all got together to look for it, and then we found it. We all celebrated and drank and then we all had sex with the goat".

T...

In India rats are celebrated...

but in Hungary they Budapest.

My wife and I just celebrated 10 happy years together.

Coincidentally, it’s our 27th anniversary.

my wife celebrated my 69th birthday with me

I'm afraid we're stuck in this position until help arrives

Mtv just celebrated it's 38th birthday...

Let us all celebrate about fifteen years of music.

In the 15th century, the end of the plague was celebrated by mass orgies...

Anything similar being prepared for Covid? I'm asking for a friend...

Early last February this year, I learned that National Grammar Day is celebrated on March 4th; I was looking forward to celebrating with some friends of mine in Toledo, Ohio...

...I made the trip from Nevada by car; it was a wonderful celebration. My friends Jerry, Susan, and Cynthia organized a wonderful event consisting of a host of grammar related activities: proof-reading, sentence structuring, and more.

Susan also turned out to be a wonderful cook; she prepared...

In the Middle Ages people celebrated the end of the plague by holding orgies

Does anyone know if something is already planned?

A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.

When they were asked what their secret was to a long lasting marriage they said:

"We take the time to go out to a restaurant two times a week. A candlelight dinner, soft music and a slow walk home. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays."

Today, I celebrated 25 years of marriage to my wife.

At dinner, she asked, "25 years is really something. What do you think?"

I say, "I'm just thinking, if I had killed you when I had the chance, I'd just now be getting out of prison on parole..."

Today I celebrated my 62nd birthday.

It was only a minute long.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A TV crew went to interview the oldest man living in a small village

"Can you tell us what was the happiest moment you can remember?"

"That was when Mary Jones got lost on the hills over there. We organized a search party and when we found her we were so happy that we had a special celebration, everybody got drunk and all the men in the village fucked Mary Jon...

I celebrated 4/20 on January 5th.

I know how to reduce fractions.

I just celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary today...

Does this mean I'm eligible for parole now??

This past year has been a sad one. It would have been my Mother's 60th Birthday, which we would have celebrated with the whole family. But thanks to drugs, alcohol, and a whole lot of bad decisions...

We all forgot to show up.

How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky?

pumpkin

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