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Welcoming Jokes

China is already welcoming Biden

China is already welcoming Biden.

They have even named a central landmark in Beijing for Biden.

"FOR BIDEN CITY!"

A pilot was welcoming the passengers on the plane shortly after take-off...

"Thank you for flying with us this morning.

The weather is....."

Then suddenly he starts screaming while he is still on the mic, "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! IT'S BURNING!!!"

A ghostly silence reigned.

He gets back on the microphone and says, "I sincerely apologize for the inci...

Welcome Home Honey

A mature lady decided to go check up on her new daughter-in-law while her son was at work. She knocked on the door and the daughter-in-law opened it, she was stood there completely naked. The mother-in-law asked "What are you doing!" The Daughter-in-law said, I'm welcoming my handsome new husband ho...

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Religion is like a vagina.

Many people like being in one. It can feel warm and welcoming.

But you shouldn't pull someone into yours without their consent.

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

A man from stockholm decieds to move away from the grinde of the big city and buys a house in northern sweden out in the middel of nowhere

After having bougth his house and get settled a local comes to his house and greats him
"Hi! im your closest neighbour and i wanna invite you to a welcoming party!"
The stockholmer is pleasnetly supprised and agrees
"Alrigth! ill see you tomorrow! but just so you know thiere is gonna ...

Why are barns the most welcoming building?

They're full of hey

Which US national park is most welcoming to Hebrews?

Yosemite!

I took a class recently on the history of food preservation.

In the early days, metal containers were the cheapest and easiest to make, so almost all food was stored in cans. Tin was a particularly soft and easy to mold/shape, and didnā€™t rust like other options, so most preserved food cans were made of tin.

Things went great for a while, with some food...

Cannibals

Recently, a large corporation hired several cannibals to increase their diversity. "You are all part of our team now," said the Human Resources rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any employees....

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

The aliens studying Earth hold a conference. The keynote speaker stands, and after welcoming the attendees and the usual pleasantries, he begins, "Ladies and gentlebeings, for seventy of its years, we have studied this planet...

"As you know, our primary research method is to abduct a local sapient and probe its rectum. After these many years, and thousands or millions of rectal probes, we have definitively learned exactly one thing.

"One in six of them likes it."

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