Why did the Catholic chef sanitize his crucifix while preparing Sunday brunch?

To prevent cross-contamination.

A young man is at brunch with his sugar momma.

A young man is at brunch with his sugar momma for the first time since they started seeing eachother. He had been nervous about being in public, but figured it would be fine. As they are sitting there having a nice time, another woman approaches the table and greets them. The young man looks petrifi...

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Three women were getting together for brunch and started bragging about their husbands.

"MY husband, " says the first " just took me on a vacation to France'" and she smiled while her friends congratulated her for her good fortune.

"Well my husband just bought me a new Lexus." says the second, receiving her accolades.

"Well. I don't know if it's a big deal or not," starts...

3 women meet for brunch after a wild night...

1st woman says "girls I got so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks".

2nd woman says "you think that's bad? After I dropped you two off, I drove home. I was so hammered I ended up driving through my garage door and kept going. Destroyed my garage, my husband says it's going to cost 5...

Bottomless brunch

I really misinterpreted that this morning

If a combined breakfast and lunch is called brunch. What is combining your breakfast, lunch, and dinner called?

...being poor.

Three generations were having brunch together

The grandson looks over at his newlywed wife and asks her, "Will you pass the honey, honey?" She giggles and passes the honey.
The father, not to be outdone, looks over to his wife and asks, "Will you pass the sugar, sugar?" She laughs, "You old charmer," and passes the sugar.
The Grandfather...

An IVF technician goes to brunch. The waiter asks "how would you like your eggs?" She replies

"ovaries-y"

What is the best sport to play before brunch?

Tenish

Bad joke time

Three ladies (previously partying the night before) meet up for brunch and compare just how drunk they were.
Girl 1: I was so drunk last night that I ended up texting my ex-boyfriend professing my undying love.
Girl 2: that’s nothing I barely was able to stumble to my door. Once inside all ...

A guy came up to me and asked if I would chuck bacon, eggs, fries, beans and toast at him!

I said; "what do you want a brunch in the face?!"

Three women decide to compare their husbands to soft drinks.

Three women are out to brunch, and they're talking about who has the best husband. One of them decides they should compare their respective husbands to soft drinks (sodas).

First woman: "My husband is like 7UP, because he's 7 inches and he's always up."

Second woman: "Well my husband i...

3 guys come back late from a night of drinking...

They met for brunch for the next day.

Guy 1: I drank way to much, first thing I did when I got home I blew Chunks...

Guy 2: That's nothing, I wrapped my car around a tree on my way home.

Guy 3: I beat all of you, I was arguing with my wife and knocked a candle over! It destroye...

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of cats and mustard

Three diplomats are discussing international politics while enjoying brunch in the crisp spring air.

"No more can Middle East be made peaceful", says the Russian diplomat, "than can cat be made to eat mustard."

"But a cat would certainly eat mustard." says the German diplomat. Spying a...

Jail Time

My daughter hates school.
One weekend she cried and fretted and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday.
Sunday morning on the way home from brunch, the crying, and whining built to a crescendo.
At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, “Honey, it’s a law. If you d...

The Hungover Chef

A Chef named Ted comes in early to work one Sunday morning, hungover from a crazy party the night before. In his tired state he begin to talk to all of the Breakfast food he's making for the brunch buffet about to start.

Ted looks over at the toast and asks "how are you feeling this morning ...

Gorilla Romance

This middle aged, divorced woman from NY City is having brunch with her friends one day. One of them comments that she hasn't been herself lately. The others agree, and someone suggests she needs a change. The woman agrees and decides she is going to take a trip.

The next morning she visits a...

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