UPJOKE
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Turn In Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My teacher said "Nathan! Turn in your essay!"

I replied, "fuck that, I ain't telling u nothin! Ain't no way I'm lettin my homie go down like that!"

Me: Can I have a turn in the hedge now?

Hedgehog: No

My teacher told me to turn in my essay...

But I ain’t no snitch.

Student doesn't turn in homework.

Teacher: Alright class, time to collect homework.
*walks around to collect homework, approaches student's desk. *

Teacher: "Where's your homework?"

Student: "I didn't know we had homework."

Teacher: "How? I posted it online."

Student: "I don't believe everything t...

What do they call a right turn in NASCAR?

The Earnhardt.

PSA: Don't tell this joke in a 100miles of Charlotte Motor speedway.

An old Chinese couple turn in for the evening

While lying in bed, the husband turns to the wife and says "You give me 69!"

And the wife responds "What? You want Beef and Broccoli now!?!"

What is the sign for a U-turn in Finland?

"You are approaching the Russian border."

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week".
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old fellow walking down the road and sees a frog sitting in the grass. The frog says...

"Hey there if you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful woman for ya."
The old man picks up the frog and puts it in his shirt pocket and keeps on down the road. About a mile down the road the frog looks up at him and says "Aren't you going to kiss me?"
The old man says "No I don't thi...

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