This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A boss said to his secretary, I want to have sex with you.

I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done." She thought for a moment then called her friend and told her the story. Her friend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She a...

Why do apple products bend so easily?

Because they're made for flexing.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a brothel. NSFW

He goes to the first floor to find a sign that says "slow fucks"

Then he goes to the second floor to find another sign that says "fast fucks"

When he reached the third floor he found a paper on the ground he bend over to pick it up, only to find someone fucking him,he reads the paper, ...

New sequel to “Bend It Like Beckham” announced.

It’s called “Fake It Like Neymar”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I’ve been getting busy with a new girlfriend recently. I’m very relieved she finds the quality of the sex adequate despite the bend I’ve developed in my penis.

I know because I asked her. She said “Weird flex but okay.”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What happens when a duck bends over?

You can see its butt quack.

If a bend in a shoreline creates a large ocean inlet, but no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?

... think about it.

What Do You See When Pillsbury Doughboy Bends Over?

Donuts

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A black boy walks into the kitchen...

...where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Irishman, a Greek, and a Jew die and stand at the gates of heaven

The keeper of the gates tells them "Well, you have all lived pretty decent lives, but you all fall victim to your respective stereotypes. So here's what's going to happen. You all will go back down to earth for 24 hours and you must avoid your weaknesses.
"Irishman, alcohol cannot touch your lips...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why does your Penis bend?

It follows a pair'o'bollock trajectory.

What do you get when a duck bends over?

Assquack

An English man and an Irish man are driving head-on, at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving too fast

for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Englishman goes to the boot and fe...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man goes to his doctor and complains that his penis is developing a bend in the middle.

A man goes to his doctor and complains that his penis is developing a bend in the middle. So the doctor ran a series of tests, and had the man return to his office to report the results.
"Have you been in the Far East recently, within the last year or so?" "Why, yes," replied the man.
"And d...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy visits his favorite dominatrix

He puts his money on the bedside table and says “I’ve been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.”

She makes him strip and bend over as she whips his quivering bottom.
Next she makes him crawl into bed and ties him securely to the bedposts.

She runs her whip over his flesh and, as ...

A Priest, a thief, a Jewish schoolboy and Irishman die in a car crash...

They stand before Saint Peter at the gates of heaven. Saint Peter looks at them and appears confused.
"My children" he says "There has been a mistake, you were not supposed to die today. I will allow you one more chance at life as long as you promise to love out the rest of your existence free o...

An 8-year-old knocks on the door of a brothel...

The Madam opens it up, looks down and sees the kid. “What do you want?”

The kid says, “I wanna get laid!”

The Madam says, “Yeah, come back in ten years.”

“But I wanna get laid.”

The Madam bends down and says, “Kid, get out of here, come back in ten years. Tell you what, g...

Three men go to hell

Three men go to hell and the Devil offers them all a second chance on earth as long as they can out smart him. The first man steps up and says "I'm gonna melt this block of cheese and I bet you can't put it back together." The man melts the cheese and the Devil puts his hands over it, turning it bac...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Timmy

When little Timmy went to school,
and mastered one to nine.
He thought the other kids were cool,
and every class divine.
He painted shapes in red and blue,
and drew in curves and bends.
And by the time the day was through,
he’d made a hundred friends!
“I’m pals with Pete, and...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Beautiful butt tattoo

For a couples anniversary, this guys wife wants to get the words "beautiful butt" tattoo'd across her ass, since he's always saying how beautiful her butt is.

She goes to get the tattoo, but the artist says that the words are too long and she doesn't have enough room. She decided to abbr...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike.

He doesn't have much luck until, one day, he comes across a Harley with a "for sale" sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for ...

Fifty!

Bob is strolling down the sidewalk along Main Street when he encounters another man, out in the street, jumping up and down on a manhole cover, yelling "Fifty!" with every jump.

Intrigued, Bob approaches the man and asks him, "Good sir, for what good reason are you jumping on this manhole co...

Bend over, little fairy...

...a wish is a wish.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Sex over Walkie Talkie

Person 1: Bend over

Person 2: Bend what? Over

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An American college student goes to Dublin for St Patrick’s Day

He's getting hammered in a pub, and goes to take a leak. He steps up to the urinal, and this little guy, with a bright orange beard, and all in green, steps up next to him, whips out this giant dick and starts pissing too. The American guy has never seen a dick that big, and he kind of blurts out, “...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A miner back in the 1800s finally strikes gold

Amazed by his good luck, he decides that he wants to go into town and celebrate with a prostitute.
He walks into the local tavern, goes up to the barkeep and says,
“I’m looking for the toughest whore in the Yukon!”
The barkeep looks at him and says
“We got her! Go upstairs and she’s in t...

A traveler was walking along the side of the road hitchhiking on a dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm

Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could barely see his hand in front of his face.

Suddenly he saw a car approaching, moving slowly and appearing ghost-like in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.

Wanting a ride very badly, the g...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[Long] This wealthy couple from New York made a trip down south...

To visit some relatives that retired down in Florida. They were big foodies and decided to make a stop in Tennessee because they had never had good southern food but had heard how good it was. They find a hole in the wall southern food joint and pulled their new Range Rover in between two old beat u...

Get Your Own Dirt

God was once approached by a scientist who said, “Listen God, we’ve decided we don’t need you anymore. These days we can clone people, transplant organs and do all sorts of things that used to be considered miraculous.”

God replied, “Don’t need me huh? How about we put your theory to the test...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar and grabs a drink. There, he sees a gorilla in the corner of the bar doing its own thing. The person, intrigued, asks the bartender, “Why do you guys keep a gorilla in the corner of the bar?”.

The bartender replies with, “Well the Gorilla is here for one specific thing”...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man really wanted to learn the art of future-telling...

He is told to visit Old Man Baboo on top of the hill to learn this skill.

He proceeds to climb the hill and gets to Old Man Baboo's house.

"So you want to learn how to tell the future, huh?"

"Yes, teach me please"

"Ok, first come in and follow me"

"Ok, Old Man Babb...

My girlfriend and I decided to get married

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me—it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly ...

I speak for the trees!

So an ant is walking through a field, scavenging for food. Suddenly, his legs stiffen up and he has trouble walking. "Feet! He says, angrily. "Why have you failed me? I must search for food, but I am unable to walk." "Not us!" Squeal the feet. "We only are only meant for gripping the ground or ...

A man had been feeling sick for several days. Finally he decided to try a new doctor who had just moved into town...

After hearing the man's symptoms and listening to his belly with a stethoscope the doctor told him that he had a tapeworm. ''Oh, is that bad? How can I get rid of it?'' asked the man. ''Come in tomorrow and bring a hard boiled egg and a oreo cookie,'' said the doctor. When he saw a puzzled look cros...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two cowboys

Riding across the range, they come upon a heifer with her head caught in the fence. Cowboy#1 says "you know I'm getting kind of tired of beating off in the bushes, I think ill take advantage of this situation"

He hops off his horse and goes to the heifer and has sloppy intersperses sexual in...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW] A man goes hunting for bears...

Deep in the woods, he spots a large grizzly. He raises his gun, aims for the heart, and pulls the trigger. *Click*

The bear approaches him smiling and says "Nice try, now either you bend over or I eat you."

The man bends over, and the bear proceeds to rip off his clothes and bugger him...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Stoned out hippy on a bus

A stoned out hippie is riding a bus. While riding a nun boards the bus. The hippie is positively smitten with her and thinks she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. As it happens she sits right across the aisle from him.

The hippie can't contain himself. He leans over and tells her ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Haji comes to the United states

Haji comes to the United States from India, and he's only here a few months when he becomes very ill. He goes to doctor after doctor, but none of them can help him. Finally, he goes to an Indian doctor.

The doctor says, "Take dis bucket, go into de other room, shit in de bucket, piss on de ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Bunga Bunga

Three men are on safari, captured by a native tribe, and brought before their king.

The king looks at the first man and asks “Death or Bunga Bunga?”

Not wanting to die, the man chooses the unknown option of Bunga Bunga and a giant warrior bends him over and anal bangs him.

The...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walked into his doctor's office...

...complaining that he thinks he might have a tapeworm. The doctor made a physical examination and listened to the symptoms, and concurred with the self-diagnosis.

"I want you to come back tomorrow to start treatment. And bring an apple, and an orange and a Mars Bar" said the doctor.

D...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Fast Eddie

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office... But she was dating someone else.
One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, 'I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you'...
The girl looked at him, and then said, 'NO!' ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A 1st grade teacher brings his class out for a science field trip to the local park

At the park, one of the kids screams "oh look! There's a big doggy poo poo here!"

The teacher requests that the class gather around and explains

"Look kids, I just taught you about our five senses haven't I?

Don't just rely on one of your senses to observe the world. We have fiv...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A woman walks into a fancy and very expensive jewellery store.

She browses around and spots a beautiful diamond necklace. Curious, she walks over to inspect it.

As she bends over to take a closer look, she accidentally and unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously and hopes that no one noticed or heard her little accident....

Two hunters are walking through the woods...

...when they come across a bear.

One hunter immediately bends down and begins tightening and tying his shoes.

The other hunter says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear."

The hunter immediately replies, "I dont have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man visits a brothel

A man—a salesman to be exact—is driving along an old two lane highway. It’s the worst part of his territory, as it takes him far from home for days on end.

He misses his wife, his tv, his wife, his la-z-boy, and most of all...his wife.

His mind starts to wander as he thinks of his wi...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A black man, an Irish guy, a Jew and a Greek guy die and go to heaven.

When they get to heaven, St. Peter says “All of you will go through a test of temptation, if you pass the test, you can come back to life”. The four men agree and begin their test.

It involves them walking down a street with multiple forms of temptation on the sides.

As they’re walki...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is leaving for a business trip and is worried his wife might be unfaithful, so he stops by a sex shop.

He explains his situation to the owner of the store and the owner smiles widely, "I have just the thing for you." From behind the counter she pulls out an old wooden box with strange writing scratched all over it. "I will let you rent this," she says. She opens the box and inside is a large, smooth ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Bill The Hunter

Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear. The black bear says "You've got two choices. One, I maul yo...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is walking on the beach...

...and he sees this woman there lying on a beach towel, all on her own.

As he gets closer, he notices that she doesn't have any arms or legs, and that she is crying. Out of slight pity he approaches her.

"Excuse me" the man says, "are you ok?"

"No!" The women replied, "all my fr...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Perverted Boss....

The boss at a small company was a very perverted guy. Everyone knew about it and usually kept their distance. The boss recently hired a new smoking hot secretary. Everyone told her to keep her distance from him but she wasn't fazed.

​

One day the boss told the secretary tha...

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony

On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me?'

The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?'

...

I tried to join a gymnastics class, once.

I had to bend over backwards just to get in.

Thank you to the dad I overheard telling his daughter this on public transport... a genuine dad joke.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A blonde visits a doctor... (NSFW)

A blonde visits a doctor and upon being inquired by the doctor of her predicament, says, "I seem to have a pain inside my ass. It feels a bit sore and I can't seem to get rid of it."

Taking note of her problem, the doctor requests the blonde to discard her shorts and bend over the bed by the ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a doctor's office...

He drops his pants and bends over the table to show the doctor his asshole, which is red, inflamed, and about 15 inches wide.

"Good God, man!" cries the doctor. "What happened to you?"

"Well," the man explains. "I was on safari, and I got really drunk, and I ended up having sex with a ...

Donald Trump, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Macaulay Culkin all die and visit God...

And God says "I can't decide whether to send you guys to heaven or hell. So I'm going to test you. I'll let you return to earth, but each of you have to promise to give up something that you love the most. However, if you break your promise you'll go to hell"

Macaulay Culkin gives up pizza. ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A family had invited the daughter's boyfriend to dinner for the first time

While preparing the dinner, they begin discussing who will do the dishes afterwards.

"It's my salary you're living on, I do not want to do the dishes," says the father in the family.

"I did it last monday," said the girl.

And mom replied, "I'm the one who cooks the food!"
...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy goes to the doctor and asks if there is a test to determine if he's gay...

The doctor replies, "Why, yes, there is. Drop your pants".

The doc puts on his rubber gloves and grabs the guy's balls and ays to him, "Say 44". The guy looks at the doc and says, "44".

The doc takes the guy's dick in his hand and says to him, "Say 44".The guy looks at the doc and says...

A knight walks up to a peasant on a bridge

The peasent happily hums to himself "twenty-six... twenty-six... twenty-six".

The knight asks the peasant what's he humming about and he calmly answers that the knight should look down the bridge to find out. So the knight bends over the bridge, looks into the water, just as the peasant kicks...

Two guys riding in a truck. NSFW

They come around a bend in the road to see the largest newfoundland lab they've ever seen.
The dog is sitting in the middle of the road blocking their path, thoroughly cleaning his balls. The passenger sees this and tells the driver I sure wish I could do that.
The driver says I'm sure you ca...

Found this in an old email from my grandpa.

A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her
grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one
and goes over to the counter.

A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says,
"Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anythin...

There Once was a tall hairdresser...

There once was a tall hairdresser. He worked in the business for years upon years, having to bend over every day to get a good view of his work. After over 40 years of working in the business, he decides that he will begin to offer free haircuts on one condition.

It’s only for his longest sta...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A police officer catches Dave duck-hunting, checks to make sure he has the right license.

So Dave went hunting in the woods, one day, and ***BAM!***, shot a duck.

A bored, nearby trooper waiting in his patrol car near the highway hears the gunshot, gets out, and runs into the woods to find Dave holding the duck.

The trooper yells, pointing at Dave, "You stop right there! L...

After a lot of hard work I’ve finally made the local limbo team.

I had to bend over backwards to get in though.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A farmer is driving to town

A farmer is driving to town to buy feed at the local Co-op when he gets pulled over by a state trooper. “Do you have any idea why I pulled you over?” Yelled the the trooper. “I’m sorry but I don’t, why did you pull me over?” Asked the calm farmer. “Well to be frank with you sir, you were hauling ass...

Two nuns are doing their grocery shopping.

As they pass the cooler full of beer, one nun says longingly to the other one, "A cold beer would go down great tonight!" "Indeed," the other nun replies, "but how can we show up with beer at the check-out counter?" "Don't worry, I have a plan," the other nun answers. "Grab a six-pack." The cashier ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So I recently got engaged, and used to visit my future in-laws' house quite frequently...

My fiance had a step sister, who used to tease me a lot. She used to stared at me across the dining table, used to bend down while wearing a skirt, etc.

A couple of days before the wedding, she called me at the house to help her make the invitation cards. When I arrived, there was no one at t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why Must It Be This Way?

An American and a Canadian are sitting on a plane. After takeoff the Canadian leans back, and takes his shoes off, and begins to relax. The American, who is pinned in at the window, says, "Sorry to trouble you but our call light is broken. Could you get me a beer?"

"No problem," says the Can...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

bisexual people are like bendy straws

they're straight until you make them bend over

A little girl walks into a pet shop

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper bends down to her level, smiling, "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby, or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over...

An American guy is talking with European in some bar in USA.

The American guy is saying: "I heard you have now some problems with immigrants in Europe."

An American Indian bends from the next table and says: "Pay attention to that, we heavily underestimated that once"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

"Doctor Doctor! My butt hurts!"

"Doctor Doctor! My butt hurts!"
"Well, let's have a look at i\-that's weird." Says the doctor as the man bend's over. "What is it?" "You have a rolled up $20 bill sticking out of your butt." "Well, pull it out!" The doctor does. "Umm, now there's a rolled up $10 bill sticking out of your butt."...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The bear and the rabbit

A bear and a rabbit are walking through the woods and find a lamp. After rubbing it, a genie appears and agrees to grant them both 3 wishes.

For his first wish, the bear says, "I wish all the female bears in this forrest find me irresistable and sexy" and the genie grants his wish. The rabbit...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Those are lovely earrings . . .

A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots beautiful diamond earrings and walks over to inspect them. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person wa...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Girl is walking along a beach.

She sees a man with no arms and no legs chilling by the water. As she passes him, he begins to cry. She walks over to him.

"What's wrong", she asks.

He replies, "I'm 24, I've got no arms and no legs, and I've never been hugged."

She considers it, bends down, gives him a hug and...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Punch line first

Years ago this radio station was having a contest about the best punch line.
Everyone was calling in telling a jokes punchline first and whoever had the best punchline won a prize and got to tell their joke on the air.

So all these random punchlines where called in about the rabbi said t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

It's B.B. King's Birthday...

His wife wants to do something special for him, so she goes to a tattoo parlor. She gets a "B" one the left ass cheek and another "B" on the right.
She waits for BB to get home wearing a silky bra and panties. When he walks in his wife stands in front of him and says "Happy Birthday Baby" the...

A guy is passing a Mental Hospital

surrounded by a wall and he hears the chanting inside, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"
Curious to see what’s going on he finds a small hole in the wall, so he bends and peeks inside.
Someone inside pokes him hard in the eye and everyone starts inside chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourte...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy gets a worm parasite...

A guy goes on a mission trip and contracts a gnarly parasite worm. Every doctor tells him he's done for and the worm will starve him to death, but a friend of his who used to go on mission trips tells him about this doctor that has a technique to get rid of the worm, but warns him that the doctor is...

A cop and a firefighter die and go to heaven.

God gives them each some wings, with a warning that if they have even one bad thought, they’ll lose their wings.

A little while goes by. The cop and firefighter are checking out heaven together. Then, a smoking hot girl walks by. The firefighter’s wings fall off.

The firefighter bends...

The Bear Hunter

One day a hunter took his trusty Winchester to the mountains to hunt for bear. He hid behind a rock that overlooked a beautiful valley and waited.

Soon a brown bear appeared by the stream which ran through the valley. The hunter aimed and fired and killed the bear dead.

Suddenly then t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Beautiful Butt

A married man keeps telling his wife "Honey, you have a beautiful butt." She asks her friends if she has a beautiful butt and they agree. Her husband's birthday is coming up, and so she decides she's going to get "beautiful butt" tattooed on her ass cheeks, one cheek with "beautiful" and the other w...

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road

He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see
what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD.
The driver ...

A man was out golfing and stops to help a frog.

A golfer playing a round by himself hits his ball near a pond. As he approaches the ball he notices a small frog right next to the spot where his ball landed. Not wanting to hit the frog, he bends down and moves the frog onto a rock nearby. As he sets up his 8 iron shot, he hears the frog croak 'rib...

A man is given a job at the railroad

However he has no experience with trains. On his very first day he kills 200 senior citizens going around the curve at 600 miles per hour. This is all happening in Texas, and so he is sentenced to death. For his last meal he has 13 Bananas, which he eats peels and all. When they turn on the electric...

One day a man is walking down the street when he sees an old man with a nice looking dog.

He goes over to the man and asks, "Does your dog bite?"

The old man replies, "No, never."

When the man bends down to pet the dog, it immediately takes a snap at his hand. The man says, 'I thought you said your dog did not bite!"

"I did," replies the old man, "but this isn't my d...

The thirsty criminal

My grandpa told me this gem of a joke. Here it goes...

A fleeing criminal, desperate to escape the police, runs into the desert with hardly any water. Very soon, he runs out of drinking water, and hours later, he is already plodding under the merciless desert sun.

He is close to desper...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The princess wouldn't let prince make love to her

Ages ago there was a kingdom where a royal wedding took place.

Prince and a princess had a feast and then went to their chambers to consume their marriage, but there was a problem - the princess wouldn't let prince make love to her.

The prince waited and tried every day for next couple...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Guy is out for a walk and sees a rainbow

He decides to find the end of the rainbow to see if he can really find a pot of gold. So he follows the rainbow to the end, and is surprised to find, rather than a pot, a leprechaun standing there. The leprechaun says, "I'll give you a pot of gold, but there's one condition."

"What's that?" r...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Trump has become the ruler of the whole world, and it's his birthday.

He demands that the ambassador of every country bring him something famous from their homeland to please him on such a glorious day.

First comes the ambassador of Germany. Along with him, he's brought the keys to a new concept car built by both BMW and Mercedes. It's the only one in productio...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I can see the future....

A man walks into his local pub for a pint after work. After being served his drink, he turns to find a table to sit down and enjoy his pint.
There are two tables free, one near the entrance and another towards the back. He opts for the one near the entrance, sits down, and takes a nice refreshing...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Rodeo Sex

When you’re making love to your girl doggy style and bend over and whisper in her ear, “this is how your sister likes it too”, and try and hold on for 8 seconds.