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Revolve Jokes

My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she's sick of it.

I'm quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.

My parents always tell me that their world doesn't revolve around me

I guess that means that I'm not actually their sun :(

Scientists watched the earth revolve for 24 hours

They got bored and call it a day!!!


Not mine. Just passing on.

A german fired his revolver

bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang

A stranger asked “How? A revolver only got six bullets”

”Nein!” the german replied

How many Karens did it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

She just holds the lightbulb in the socket and expects the rest of the world to revolve around her.

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A man enters a bar with a .44 magnum revolver and yells:

“WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE?”

After a moment of silence, a man says: “Man you ain’t got enough bullets!”

A man burst into a bar with a revolver on his hand

The man yelled at the top of his lungs

"WHICH ONE OF YOU HAVE BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE?"

The whole bar went silent, one man stood up and replied

"You're gonna need more than six bullets pal!"

A gunfighter walks into a bar with a smoking revolver.

"I'm all out of bullets and want to buy a round."

How does a narcissist change a light bulb?

They hold it up to the light and wait for the world to revolve around them

A man enters a bar with a revolver

He climb up a table, looked around and yell.

"WHICH ONE OF YOU SLEPT WITH MY WIFE?!"

The bar went silent for a minute when suddenly a man at the back says.

"you are gonna need more than 6 shots pal!"

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A man angrily walks into a bar with a six-bullet revolver gun and yells, “Who the f here had sex with my wife?”

The bartender relies, “Mate, I don’t think you don’t have enough bullets”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When cybernetics are invented I want to replace my penis with a revolver

I could finally say I have a magnum dong

I stole a revolver made out of gelatine.

Once the cops found me I was charged for carrying a congealed weapon.

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A man walks into a bar with a loaded six-shot revolver. He yells: "Which one of you bastards slept with my sister?"

One man laughs and replies: "You ain't got enough bullets!"

The Italian Grandfather

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside. "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me." "But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?" "You lissina me, boy. ...

One Sunday, with one hand motion, God caused the Earth to begin to revolve around the Sun. "What should we call it when it goes all the way around?" asks Adam.

"A year," God replied.

Now, he made another hand motion, and the Earth began to rotate on a tilted axis.

"What should we call it when it rotates all the way around?" Adam asks.

God sighs and takes a seat on the grass below. "Let's call it a day."

I like the way the earth revolves!

It really makes my day!

Intellectuals know that the Earth revolves around the Sun...

Canadians know that the universe revolves around Toronto

My wife complained that my life revolves around Facebook and it has destroyed the way we communicate.

So I've blocked her.

A man was having a bad day...

A little man sits sadly in the bar with a beer in front of him.

A large, bad guy walks along, smacks him on the shoulder and drinks his beer happily.

The little man begins to cry with desperation, sobbing.

The big one: "Don't be like that, ya plump wimp! Crying for a beer!"...

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What did the single action revolver say to the double action one ?

Don't get too cocky

A man angrily walks into a local bar holding a revolver and demands to know whose been sleeping with his wife.

A man in the back of the bar shouts back, “You don’t have enough ammo”

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A Cop Pulls a Little Old Lady Over for Speeding

Cop pulls over a little old lady and asks for her licence and registration. When she pulls out her wallet, he sees a handgun in her purse.

"Ma'am, is that a gun in your purse?"

"Yes, Officer, it's a .38 Smith & Wesson revolver."

"Please place that purse on the passenge...

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A Panda Walks Into A Bar

A panda walks into a bar and looks around. the bartender greets him enthusiastically asking “what can I get you?”. The panda approaches the bar and orders a small meal. The meal arrives and the panda eats all of it. Once finished, the bartender asks him how the food was. to his surprise, the panda p...

Do you know the story of the boy named Bonnie?

There once was a boy named Bonnie who was constantly harassed for his goofy name. He thought he was doomed to never find love because of it, but one day, he met a beautiful girl who didn't care, and they fell in love, got married, and had a child, a beautiful baby girl. But Bonnie was worried. "What...

How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?

*One to hold the bulb up to the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them, three to scream at the circuit breaker and belittle it for controlling power, and eight others to console the first four while they tweet about how problematic this traumatic experience has been for everyone.*

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It’s a little boy’s seventh birthday.

For his birthday, his parents buy him a really superb cowboy outfit. I mean, it’s got everything: the boots, the spurs, the tiny plastic revolvers. The boy is thrilled; he doesn’t take the outfit off all day.

That evening, the little boy’s parents take him out to an ice cream parlor for a ...

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I was once a part of a nine-member sex cult who aimed to please this one main red-hot guy. I was then kicked out from it but my life still revolves around the main guy and I remain friends with the others.

Guess my relationship with them is Plutonic.

Im not saying my ex girlfriend was fat

But all my thoughts revolve around her

I have become obsessed with collecting Beatles albums!

So far I've got 17 Revolvers, 8 Rubber Souls, 25 Sergeant Peppers, 6 Hard Days Nights, 12 White Albums, 14 Abbey Roads, 7 Yellow Submarines, 5 Let It Be's, 9 Please Please Me's, a couple of With The Beatles, 3 Beatles For Sales, and even a Magical Mystery Tour, BUT IT'S NEVER ENOUGH!

I NEED ...

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A white and a black guy are standing in front of a gun store...

The black guy says: "I'm just gonna buy something in there. You can just wait here.".

The black guy comes to the counter and asks the shopowner: "Do you have any rifles?" the owner says:"No". The black man then asks: "Do you have any revolvers?" the owner again says: "No". The black guy makes...

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They call me Bill

Three guys are sitting in a bar. An American, Australian and a Russian.

The American wants to show off so he pulls out a revolver and shoots off four bottlecaps without hitting the bottles. He looks at the other two and says: "They call me Bill, Revolver Bill".

Not particularly impres...

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary, when...

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town, and on this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. "Well," explained the husband, "it all ...

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Political joke

A boy asks his father:

What is politics?

Father answers:

It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business . Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.

Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law...

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There once was a supercilious king who liked hunting.

To show off his abilities, He went in a jungle to kill a lion with only one bullet in his revolver. He waited in bush for lion to come. After a few hours, a lion showed up. He aimed at lion and fired his only bullet. He missed and lion ran away. He became upset and screamed, "HOLY SHIT, I F\*\*KING ...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson decide to go camping.

They pack their camping gear into the car and drive into the countryside. After a long drive and a light dinner they pitch their tent, climb inside, and are soon fast asleep in their sleeping bags.

In the middle of the night Sherlock shakes Watson awake. He points to the full moon and says, "...

An American, an Italian, and a German are applying for a job.

In the wake of WWII, the newly founded CIA needed the best of the best. An American, an Italian, and a German have made it to the final round of interviews.

The three are sitting together in a barren room, when an agent walks in.

"Congratulation, each of you have made it to the final ...

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Three Bills at a bar

Three men, one from America, one from Australia and one from Russia were sitting at a bar. To show off, the American picks up his revolver, shoots the cap off his bottle of beer, and proudly exlaims:

"My name is Bill. Buffalo Bill."

The Australian, not wanting to be any less of a man, ...

How many Mac owners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. He or she just stands there holding the bulb out waiting for the world to revolve around them..... or goes out and buys an adapter first to make the bulb compatible!

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The old gunfighter is getting worried

He feels that as he is getting older he is slowing down, and some of the youngsters are getting damn good. He decides he will consult a “gunfighter trainer” to help him improve his technique and show him the latest tricks.

He goes into the bar, and walks up to the gunfighter trainer at a t...

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