The 42+ Best Rotate Jokes

I love the way the earth rotates

It really makes my day

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3 men are granted 3 wishes

3 men stumble upon a lamp and they rub it, and out comes a genie. The genie says

"I will grant each of you 3 wishes."

The first man thinks long and hard, and then says

"I want to have a million dollars"

The genie snaps his fingers and poof, the man now has a million dol...

My wife rotates playing her guitar, drum, or flute once a month.

It’s part of her minstrel cycle.

A man and a woman rotate to the same table in a game of speed dating.

"Hi!" says the woman cheerfully, "Just so you know, I'm deaf, but I can read lips. Just talk as you normally do and I'll let you know if I didn't catch something. So, what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a ventriloquist," says the man.

"What?" says the woman.

Why doesn't the Reddit app auto-rotate from portrait to landscape?

So you can still use it while you lay sobbing in the fetal position.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the
party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith
agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed
from the current position as a result of failure to perform previou...

Did you know: an owl’s head can rotate 720 degrees

before it comes off in your hand.

The mechanic asked me if I've ever rotated my tires.

How does he think I got here?

God spoke to His angels

He said, "after extensive trials I have figured out a way to rotate a planet so it receives an even distribution of sunlight and evening."

"Wow," said one angel. "What are you going to do now, sir? "

And God said, "Call it a day."

My cross-eyed bull

Did I ever tell you about the cross eyed bull I bought?
I couldn't put it in the shows, at least, that's what I thought.

but a friend comes out and says, “hold on pard’ let me have a look.
them eyes ain’t that bad. Call up a vet. His number's in the book.”

Well I didn't have...

A calligrapher died peacefully in his sleep.

He soon woke up in a land of paradise. He spent the next few days exploring. Heaven was exactly as he imagined—pristine rolling hills, golden castles upon cloud tops, reunions with lost loved ones, and endless opportunities to explore one's hobbies. He had access to the finest selection of inks and ...

I was tired of watching the moon rotate for 24 hours

So I decided to call it a day

Many people recognize that the Russian flag is an homage to the French flag.

But did you know their military flag is an homage to the old French military flag as well? The old French military flag was three white Fleur-de-lis on a field of white. Now the Russians use the same one, just rotated 90 degrees.

I used to go into shopping centres and rotate the body parts of the mannequins...

I don't think everyone noticed, but I certainly turned a few heads.

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3 guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp

One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact ...

After Astronomers discovered the Earth rotates about an axis...

They got bored and decided to call it a day!

Why do pictures rotated counter clockwise hate giving high fives

Because they're always *left hanging*

A man who knows little about cars takes his car into the mechanic for an oil change

After the mechanic finishes with the oil change, she comes out to talk to the man.

"Well, I'm all done with the oil change, but I did notice something, it looks like your brake light fluid needs to be replaced."

The man responds, "Oh, I don't think I've ever had that changed before. Go...

What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies?

A rotisserie chicken.

A physics joke

How many general-relativity theocratists does it take to change a light bulb? - Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate space.

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So, a priest goes to mechanic to get tires rotated on his car...

...as car is about to be lowered from the lift, priest ask his mechanic:

"Are those lugnuts tight enough?"

*"Tighter than nun's cunt, father"*

"You best give them another tug then, son""

Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster than it does today?

We would get paid every day, and all women would bleed to death.

My mechanic tried to scam me because he didn’t think I knew about cars

I took my car to get an oil change and they were like “would you like us to rotate your tires?” I was like “Ummm. I rotated them a bunch on the way over jackass!”

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Help Wanted;

A lumber mill posts a assist wanted ad for a lumber inspector and receives only one application. When they call the prospective employee in for an interview they realize he is an elderly man who is very clearly blind. The manager is skeptical that a blind man could be a lumber inspector, but after s...

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A young painter once had an old ladder

The ladder was one he’d found in a dumpster a few years before and, since he was poor and needed a ladder, he snatched it up and considered himself lucky. Over time, as he used the ladder on large murals, it would invariably be off-kilter, would not sit flush to the wall, or a rung would slip and ro...

How am I similar to the Earth ?

We both rotate around our own ex(s)

Three guys on a hiking trip find a lamp, so they rub it until a genie appears who generously offers to grant each of them three wishes.

The first one goes "I would love to be as rich as I ever want, with enough money appearing in my bank account whenever I want to buy anything." The second one says "that's amazing, I want the same!", but the third one says "I want my left arm to constantly rotate clockwise."
- "Done", says the ge...

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(OC) A Hippie walks by a businessman...

A Hippie is walking by and sees a businessman looking over some construction that had been started on a plot of land. The Hippie is alarmed and exclaims "What are you doing?!"

The businessman responds by saying that this piece of land was bought by his company. The land was good and the found...

I went out with a girl once called 'Owl'

Seriously, that was her name, Owl.

She could rotate her head almost completely behind her.

She only did it once though, when a burglar came into her house and twisted her neck.

She's dead now but that's why we call her Owl.

How many dimensions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. Two to rotate, one to get it done in time.

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3 men are walking through the desert when they stumble across a lamp. They dust it off and a Genie pops out, the genie says "I will grant each of you 3 wishes!"

The first man says "I wish for a million dollars!" "Alright" says the Genie and just like that a million dollars appears at the man's feet.

The second man says "I wish for unlimited money" "Alright" says the Genie "Check your bank account" The man checks on his phone and sure enough there's a...

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A collection of lightbulb jokes

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-Just Juan

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-Two. One to hold the lightbulb and one to drink until the room spins.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-Just two but who knows how the...

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. She just holds it in place, while the world revolves around her. * Beverly Hills ninja edit... rotates to revolves

A kid walks into a car shop to get his get his first oil change.

"Oh, you're in for an oil change, okay. Also, while you're in do you know the last time the car had a tire rotation?" the worker says.

The kid looks at the worker confused,"Sir, I dont want to tell you how to do your job or anything, but the tires rotated on the way here."

One Sunday, with one hand motion, God caused the Earth to begin to revolve around the Sun. "What should we call it when it goes all the way around?" asks Adam.

"A year," God replied.

Now, he made another hand motion, and the Earth began to rotate on a tilted axis.

"What should we call it when it rotates all the way around?" Adam asks.

God sighs and takes a seat on the grass below. "Let's call it a day."

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3 men are wandering the desert and find a magic lamp

One of them picks it up and gives it a rub and a genie pops out.

"Thank you for freeing me, as a sign of gratitude I shall grant each of you 3 wishes."

The first man quickly speaks "I wish I had a million dollars!" the genie nods and the man gets his phone, checks his bank account and ...

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So a Cruise Ship Sinks...

So a cruise ship sinks in the middle of the pacific and three guys find themselves stranded on a desert island after being adrift in a life raft for a week.

After being on the island for a couple days a plane flies overhead and sees their SOS on the beach. With their supplies almost exhauste...

I was at a zoo with my kids…

and, kids being kids, they begged to go to the petting zoo. When we got there, we went straight to the goats, an animal my children love. When we got there, we did not see any kids for my children to pet. I looked around for a zookeeper and asked about them. She basically said that the goats are...

Three wishes

Bob, James, and Albert go for a hike in the mountains one day and they find a strange lamp. They rub it and a genie appears, the genie is so relieved to be free that he offers each of them three wishes, with the one condition that each man have at least one month between their wishes, they see this ...

A Communist Dies.

And since he was an honest man albeit an atheist, he was sentenced to rotate spending one year in Hell and one year in Heaven. One year passes and Satan says to God: "Take this man as fast as possible. Because he turned all my young demons into Young Pioneers, I have to restore some order." Another ...

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A teenager was standing in front of a recruiter, about to sign his life away to the Marines.

The recruiter promised him adventure and action, and the teenager was buying it all up. He finished his training (Semper Fi!) and was immediately given his first posting: he was going to Afghanistan. Being an FNG, the Devil Dog worked long and worked hard, but by the end of his tour, he felt he had ...

I dialed a wrong number

It told me: "I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate by 90 degrees and try again."

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